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I’m living off of significantly less than $30,000 a year in E”Y and have been in kollel for 3 years already.
I live pretty comfortably compared to my friends who are not making as much as I am. It can get tough at times but HKBH sends the money and we make it.
I estimate that I can easily handle five kids (iy”h) within $40,000 and still be living relatively comfortable.
That being said, its not always so easy for a girl to find a job that pays so well here in E”Y. But people do it here.
apushatayid
Sometimes these labels are necessary to protect our children. We label ourselves frum and secular frai so that our children can distinguish from people we don’t want them to learn from.
Similarly, there are hashkafic differences between chareidi and charda”l families.
Someone who is Alexander might want his children to follow the Alexander Rebbe but by labeling himself just “Jewish” his children might not recognize clearly the distinction between Alexander chassidus to Gerrer.
Someone from a chareidi family might want his children to maintain his hashkafos to the exclusion of charda”l haskafos.
This doesn’t mean that the chareidi person is a better Jew but he is entitled to teach his children to follow in the haskafos that he was taught. This tool teaches his children to draw a line between who they should learn from and who not.
This can apply to shidduchim too. I think once a family has determined that the ideologies of the other side are in tandem with their own, they then do make the effort to make sure that the person lives up to them in terms of middos etc.
The decision to label people did not start recently. Look in the chumash and you might notice that there have been thriteen labels in klal Yisroel going back quite a while. In addition to another two labels within one of those labels.
??? ????? ?”?:?”?
????? ????? ?:?”?
That’s what my siddur has for those names. For Nata the pasuk actually ends with the word nata.
Y.S.G.F.K.
It doesn’t go by first and last name, it goes by first and last letter of your first name and the first and last letter of any middle names if you have them.
I had my Shabbos meal on the floor once. We had just moved into the apartment and we didn’t have a table and chairs yet.
Anyway most of us daven Shemoneh Esrei before we eat, so it would be the davening leading up to the kneidlach.
Which I can understand being as kniedlach might be a mitzvos asei midoraisa of oneg and kavod Shabbos while davening is a mitzvah d’rabonnon as a zecher for the korbannos.
Along those lines don’t they say about Rebbi that he had qishu’im on his table all year and that his stable keeper was richer than the king of Persia. But when he died his hands stayed open to be meramez that he didn’t have any han’ah from this world. (I might be getting the story wrong).
Anyway see Noam Elimelech. Most of what he speaks about is two levels of tzidkus- the higher being a tzadik who doesn’t fast all the time but rather always eats l’shem shamayim.
I think shikur already answered the question…
I think it means colon minus d just written all squished together and in short hand.
After all this about the Rambam, can anyone point me to where the Rambam actually says this? I’d like to see what he actually says.
They sell almond butter here. It tastes horrible. You’re supposed to eat something like a tablespoon of it. We did it once. I’d rather fast two days than eat it again. I don’t even know if it helps.
Water is probably the most important thing, to start hydrating yourself a few days before the fast. And I always try to eat anything with carbs -rather than proteins-that is not salty or sweet the day before the fast.
“100% wrong. Empirical reality simply is. It doesn’t change the Torah, and the Torah doesn’t change reality.”
This doesn’t seem correct. We knot that HB”H was mistakel boraiso ubara olma. The reality of the world is based entirely and completely on the Torah.
The Torah is whatever the gedolim of our generation says it is. If all the gedolim get together and pasken that the sky is really green than I am obligated to know that the sky is green.
We learn this from the posuk in Devarim 17:11 “…do not turn from the thing which they tell you right or left”.
Rashi there says even if they tell you your left is your right and your right is your left.
The Kli Yakar brings a gemarah in Sanhedrin 17a that says “we don’t appoint someone to sin on the Sanhedrin until he knows how to make a sheretz tahor according to the Torah.”
So as you say:
“Even if every gedol in the world paskened that a non-kosher animal had the kosher signs, you’d still be over an aveirah if you ate it.”
This would be wrong. If every godol in the world paskened that a non-kosher animal was kosher it would be mutar 100% to eat it and it would probably even me a mitzvah to eat it in order to encourage other people in their emunas chachamim.
Are you a lot to have that kavanah on Shabbos since it part of Aveilos and we don’t sit on Shabbos?
Tell her to speak to a Rav. I think it says in Pirkei Avos “asei l’cha rav” and not “asei l’cha message board”. But don’t quote me on that because I have a really bad memory so I could be wrong.
On another note. It’s possible to work without a degree and send a husband to kollel. But its very hard and requires a lot of mesirus nefesh. I know some people who are doing it that live in the red (while I also know some that did find good jobs and are above line too). It really requires knowing yourself really well and I think its a lot harder for girls than for guys.
YWModerator105
For some reason I had thought it was from R’ Akiva Eiger. Do you know where I can find it?
I wonder about that last question too.
Also someone one time about 7 years ago showed me someone (don’t remember who) that said that drinking water after eating fish is also bad. Is my memory really bad and I’m confusing something or does such is there such a thing?
“The existence of sheidim is not a matter of halachic opinion, they either exist or they do not.”
I would say you got that backwards. If the gedolim -especially rishonim- decide that something exists, even if it hadn’t before, it will from then on exist. It’s the Torah that decides reality not reality that decides the Torah.
“And Rambam was the greatest gedol of the last thousand years.”
I’m not even sure what that means. Standing on the streets on Manhattan are you able to see whether the Empire State building or the World Trade Center (z”l) is bigger? How are you able to determine that the Rambam was the greatest gadol?
In addition the sefer Shomrei Emunim HaKadmon (a Rishon) says that the Rambam was chozer on his more “esoteric” ideas near the end of his life, since he hadn’t learned kabballah until after he had written his sefarim.
The mekubalim do many things to keep sheidim and mazikim away such as shaking their tzitzis after looking at the moon during kiddush levanah. Its likely then, that the Rambam did this as well.
In addition if you are Ashkenaz like me, you don’t pasken like the Rambam but rather the ReMa which clearly state that there are sheidim.
This is similar to the story with man who came to the Chazon Ish for a beracha for a surgery in chutz la’aretz he was going to get for some ailment. The Chazon Ish told him that he sholdn’t go to chutz la’aretz and as long as he stays in E”Y he will be fine. When questioned about it the Chazon Ish said that the Beis Yosef was the posek in E”Y and he held that that particular ailment was not a mum in an animal which means that the animal wouldn’t die from it while the ReMa -who was the posek of chutz la’aretz- held that it was. So by staying in E”Y he kept himself under the auspices of the B”Y and was able to live for many more years.
In addition, the mispar katan of ???????? is ?? which is always a good thing.
Another method of mispar katan gives us 9 which shows us how our kniedlach are meramez on ???.
In ??”?? we get ???????”? which is equal to ????”? because the eating of kneidlach is given only to klal Yisrael who were given the taryag mitzvos.
The milui is equal to 1051- if you add kollel ha’osiyos of the miluy and the letters of the word itself you get 1082. This is the exact gematriah of the words in Yeshaya 26:17 “???? ???? ?????-?” speaking about how Klal Yisrael will begin to cry out like a woman in childbirth from the chevlei moshiach durring the ikvisa d’mishicha.
Clearly then one can be yotze the chevlei moshiach by eating matza balls.
charliehll:
What you mean to say is that the Rambam HELD that they didn’t exist, so maybe if you are Yemenite there is some protection for you.
Other Rishonim held differently though as we can see from the plethora of minhagim we have today involving sheidim.
The Rambam is not the only Rishon in Jewish history nor is he the only posek with an opinion on this.
msseeker
There were two churbans and the second was from sinas chinam. My point was not to detract from the inspiration. But rather as I said that many of the posts are just not constructive they seem more accusatory.
Instead, maybe it would be a nice idea to start a thread on how to be marbeh tznius and taharas eynayim in klal Yisrael.
Can we let this down for the duration of the nine days so that the satan won’t have some more information to be mikatreg on us with?
Most of the posts here are discussing problems in the communities and since they’re not all constructive maybe we can wait until after tisha b’av to continue discussing these issues and for the meantime discuss positive or constructive things that will help the saneyger.
Rosh Chodesh already started here and we all know the nine days is a dangerous time. Let’s take a few days to clean up and be positive and in that zchus we can bring the geulah faster.
Wow! Thanks for those mareh mekomos!!! That Yad Avraham is really interesting. I never thought of that and its really so pushut. That’s really going to help me tomorrow when I get into tosfos.
That chavas daas and maharshal also sounds interesting. I wanted to understand the whole vort of mevashel kdei klipah, tasaa gavar and iruy in the hopes that I’d be able to figure out a svoroh behind a shitah in a braisah that pouring hot water into a bath of cold water would be assur.
You got me really excited now with some great mareh mekomos!! Thanks!!!
This is an old one, but I just finished all 7 pages so I know it hasn’t been said yet:
After Moshe Rabeinu hadn’t come down for 40 days Klal Yisrael was unfortantely nichshal with the cheit ha’egel after misjudging the time and thinking that Moshe Rabeinu hadn’t made it back.
If Breslovers, Lubavitchers and Amshinovers would have been at Har Sinai, Klal Yisrael would have never been oiver.
The Lubavitchers would have said: He’s not dead.
The Breslovers would have said: We can deal with a dead Rebbe.
The Amshinovers would have said: He’s not late.
a) I guess taht would answer tosfos’ kasha on Rashi for me, unless tosfos doesn’t hold that lach b’lach is meurav. Why would we say that its mevashel kdei klippah by bassar b’chalav if its lach b’lach? Maybe there’s something there that tosfos holds applies by me too. (Sorry if this is beyond the scope of what you are doing- I’m not sure if you’re only learning aliba d’hilchisa if you know the sevaros and pilpul behind everything- but if you do I appreciate it- I have to give a chabura on wednesday!)
b)Yeah we are doing bishul or at least working our way through perek kira right now. We just started the sugya of kli rishon kli shayni but I’m not sure how deep we are going to get since the zman is almost over and we’re supposed to start rechitza on wednesday.
pbp
Would have been better if you went with something like
abbaM(-ari)_bar_poppa
Hatzlacha Rabbah.
Somewhat noyge’ah to tayruvos, we’re doing the sugyah of kli rishon kli sheini in Shabbos 40b. Do you happen to have anything to add about tasa’ah gavar by a davar lach with another davar lach if its mevashel kdei klipah or if we say that it just becomes me’urav?
Our nidon is bishul so I’m not sure how much shaychis it has with tayruvos really, but we’re about to jump into a long tosfos that discusses iruy and how he bases it on the machlokes of tasa’a gavar or ila’ah gavar. Also a little bit noyge’ah to the sugyah before that of ambati and kois according to Rashi.
Anyway just looking for some background on tasa’ah gavar by a lach b’lach. Might not help me for bishul since your doing tayruvos but just thought I’d try.
Sorry. I mean to say that the word kneidlach is equal to the word baruch which is alluded to in the pasuk “vayevar ech eloykim es yom hasvi’i”. Rashi says on that pasuk that Hashem blessed Shabbos with mann. So I meant to say that by having kneidlach (which is equal to baruch) on Shabbos ie. being “mevarech” Shabbos with kneidlach- we will be zocheh to the bracha of mann.
By being “mevarech” Shabbos with kneidlach we will be zocheh to “umevarechecha baruch” which is a part of a pasuk from Bereishis that “vayiten lecha” is from. Bereishis 27:28-29 which is the bracha that Yitzchak Avinu gave Yaakov “vayiten lecha ha’elokim mi’tal hashamyim u’mishmanei ha’aretz…”
Anyway I made it all up so don’t worry about it!
WIY:
Haven’t you heard- v’ameych kulam tzaddikim, nothing we do is just stam. Those three things have to do with binding ‘din’ in the world in order to subjugate it. Hair, Yitzchak Avinu and the left arm all represent din.
p_b_p:
The lashon of the RaMA is that they make “a type of braid that is connected to each other”. It sounds to me like it is not a regular braid.
I don’t understand why we can’t do a similar action to a sheid with holy kavanah while they do their action with destructive kavanah. That would be like saying tzaddikim shouldn’t eat food since I eat food.
popa bar abba
YD 198:6 says its dangerous to undo them. The Pischei Teshuvah has a long piece over there about it. Still it says braids that are attached to each other. I wonder if they actually look like normally braided hair.
Also woman braiding hair is relatively common among Yerushalmis and some Chassidim based on kabballah similar to the concept of tefillin shel yad and akeidas Yitzchok. Although that is only among girls and not married woman.
Machine Kneidlach at the Friday night seudah??
That’s like eating machine matzah on the first night of Pesach. I can hear maybe b’shas ha’d’chak if you were away for Shabbos that you can maybe possibly be soymech on the guy who pushes the button to start up the machines that he had in mind l’kavod Shabbos Kodesh. But on a regular Shabbos?
The gematriah of ???????? is meramez on its kedusha and significance:
225 equal to ??? (the root of bless)
equal to the sheymos of ?”? (+ kollel) and ??”? (+ kollel)
233 (for kollel ha’osiyos) is ??? which is a remez to eat them
on Yom Tov (some say we are mekayem this on Pesach with matzah
itself).
equal to sheymos of ?”? and ??”?
Bear in mind the significance of kneidlach equalling the gematriah of baruch on Shabbos:
Bereishis 2:2 “vayevarech eloykim es yom haShvi’i” Rashi says that Hashem blessed Shabbos with mann (connected to parnassah as in parshas hamann).
So by “blessing” Shabbos with kneidlach that are baruch we will be zochech to “??????? ????” with the dew of the heavens and the fat of the land.
(bet you’re going to take your matzah balls eating much more seriously now:)
My mashgiach from Yeshivah in E”Y says that the level of learning in America is incomparable with the level of learning here, but he said three things that Israeli bochrim don’t have is
1)they don’t know how to cry on Yom Kippur
2)they don’t know how to dance on Purim
3)I forgot (it’s been a while)
I can’t say I agree with artchill on the first point that he made although to be honest- I never met someone who was “blacklisted”.
But there are MANY children who went OTD because they weren’t able to adjust to the social and cultural changes.
I can’t really claim to know much about the job market here either, but I think that if you are coming with a profession already you won’t have much trouble provided you can speak the language fluently enough. There are at least two English (language) born doctors in the neighborhood that I live in.
There are many benefits to living in E”Y there are sefarim filled with the maylos of E”Y. What you need to figure out is if you are in a position at this point of your life to to take on the burden of the added difficulties that come with living here. I personally made aliyah right after I got married (having been here for about 5 years in yeshivah) but for my wife who had never been here longer than 6 months, she found the lack of family nearby extremely difficult for a long time.
That’s like saying you are mekayem the mitzvah of teffilin by putting them on for shema.
Yes you are.
But there is still a mitzvas asei to wear tefilin all day.
The mishna berurah says the reason why we don’t today is because of guf naki.
See the sefer “bonei olam” for more info. Its really scary.
Mod 80 if the shiur of a kneidal is a k’beitzah then I think we would pasken that shlish mili’bar in which case to be mekayem hiddur mitzvah it would need to have the volume of three modern day eggs.
For those of us that are makpid to have 2 kneidlach in case the first wasn’t eaten within the time limit (ie. tasted kneidle but burned tongue and had to wait longer than shiur for it to cool down), there are special bowl you can buy in the store – my wife says they are called “serving bowls” that are big enough to hold half a dozen eggs plus lukshin and mandel.
BE AWARE: eating this shiur with all it’s chumros outside of a seudah will probably make you have to bentsch (if you are ashkenaz). But who eats chicken soup during the week anyway.
Tam Mahu Omer:
‘m not sure that there is a chiyuv to become a talmid chacham per se. But there is a mitzvos asei called Talmud Torah. The chiyuv of this mitzvah is all day. For every moment that a person isn’t learning he’s being mevatel this mitzvah unless:
1)he is doing a different mitzvah (osek b’mitzvah patur min hamitzvah)
or
2)he is doing something that will make him be able to learn (hechsher mitzvah)- this can (but doesn’t have to) include working in order to support one’s own learning, relaxing in order to have energy for learning and (almost) anything else that will help a person be able to learn.
This mitzvah is incumbent on all men ages 13 and up.
So even though there is no mitzvah to become a talmid chacham there is still a mitzvah to always be learning.
For more info see the sefer “Binyan Olam”
EDIT: Forgot to mention- there is also a lav on forgetting the Torah you learned but there are a few opinions on whether that is applicable now or was meant for before torah she’ba’al pe was written down. Chazarah though probably won’t hurt.
Think about it.
Sefarim say that taste of food comes from the nitzotzos of kedusha in the food.
If you compare chicken soup before adding kneidlach, to chicken soup after you add them you will realize that matzo balls must be full of nitzotzos as not only do they taste good themselves but they add flavor to the chicken soup around them.
Therefore kneidlach must be very holy.
I think you can bring a proof from here that someone who usually eats two matzo balls should not go down to one, because ma’aylin b’kedusha v’ein moridin.
This is an important thread. There are some unfortunate yidden who are not zocheh to have matzoh balls in their chicken soup on Shabbos. Some have wives who do not no the recipe, others do not understand the importance of kneidlach on Shabbos r”l.
Hopefully this thread will be reach out to others here and be mechazek this important minhag Yisroel. If everyone enjoys Shabbos a little more we will be enhancing kevod Shabbos and bring more people to be shomer Shabbos when they experience the incredible enjoyment of kneidlach.
So really, this thread can bring the geulah bb”a
How about people that skip korbanos altogether.
As far as I know the only time it is muttar to skip korbanos is if you won’t make tefillah b’tzibur but ONLY if it happens once in a really rare while- NOT on a daily basis. Even then it needs to be made up after davening.
I had a rebbe that said “korbanos was not a printing error in the siddur”
I wonder how many people are actually disagreeing with each other. I think most people here would agree that someone who:
1)is not able (mentally or physically) to put in the hasmoda of full time learning
2)has no means of supporting his family
has a responsibility to himself and klal Yisroel to find a means of support. Today there is Touro which most people will agree does take care of a large part of the problem prevalent in other colleges. I know of one doctor in E”Y who works in the morning and nights but puts in a full afternoon seder where he is unreachable except for emergencies. (Although to be honest he is South African and may have learned his profession before becoming frum like R’ Akiva Tatz.)
There is such a thing called machzikei Torah and they play an important part in klal Yisroel. The point though is to realize that subjectively to each individual person, having to work (or going to learn any profession) is not the ideal but something most of us are subjected to because we are in galus.
I think everyone would agree with this.
rescue37:
Rav Wolbe went to seminary before he became a ba’al teshuvah.
I will find out about Rav Hutner since my Rosh Kollel is a talmid of his.
I mentioned this at least once before. Some of the rabbanim that are being mentioned here have opposing views to each other regarding secular education. While R’ Herzog may have believed going to university was an ideal he was also on of the people who helped shape the religious zionist movement. In contrast the Chazon Ish was anti-zionist to a large degree and similarly was anti-university.
People who follow the teachings of one will not be impressed with the actions of the other. So as I said before its silly to bring proofs of rabbanim that went to university to people who do not follow the opinion of those rabbanim and vis versa.
simcha613
There are some kollelim that work like that but they are set up different. I believe there is a special yissachar zevulun contract for people who do that. Its also more one on one, meaning, a gvir will make a contract with a certain yungerman commiting himself to a certain amount of money a month in return for his limud hatorah.
Most kollelim though are more general ie. the rosh kollel either has a main mefarnes who keeps up the kollel or/and goes around collecting for his kollel (usually they know a few gvirim that they collect by, I think). In this way there is no contract or any form of business deal between the two individual parties.
Real Yissachar Zevulun deals I think are pretty rare.
simcha613:
I think that in kollel its a little bit different. I think its assur to receive payment for limud hatorah. I think kollels officiall pay for your time spent in the kollel and not for your actual limud. Similarly I think rebbeim are payed for watching the kids as opposed to teaching them.
I could be wrong on this though, its just what I’ve always heard.
But it comes out that its harder to ganiv money from the kollel by not learning.
nicely said kasha
kasha:
I thought that is where they get it from.
Josh31:
bichlal lav ata shomeah hen. So some did like R’ Shimon bar Yochai and were successful.
NO one said full time learning is for everyone. I think the discussion was if you CAN hack it- whether you should or not.
I think there are two totally different hashkafa’s being discussed here and being used to argue against each otI her. I see that some people are bringing the hashkafa of yeshivahs like YU that follow R’ Shimshon Refael Hirsch’s teachings of Torah im derech eretz. Others are following the hashkafas of yeshivahs such as BMG who encourage long term full time kollel.
Its silly to bring proofs from the Rabbanim that lead one group to people who follow the Rabbanim of the other.
That’s why I think its better that each person should just ask his own Rav in order to get the answer that is appropriate for his mehalech.
Anon for this:
The gemara already dealt with this question. The gemara brings how one of her sons Yishmael was tamei two different times and each time a different brother had to take over for him. Tosefos Yeshanim brings that its likely that this happened other times as well and in this way each of her sons spent some time as the kohein gadol.
The Gemara that speaks about getting dressed for one’s husband is in Taanis 23b with Abba Chilkiyah who’s wife would get dressed up to greet him when he came home in order that he shouldn’t look at other women.
I am told that women in Me’ah She’arim have special sheitels that they put on when their husbands come home. So I don’t think that getting dressed for your husband necessitates specifically getting dressed down.
Like philosopher said I think selling non-tzniusdig clothing in a store is akin to selling non-kosher and kol yisrael areivim zeh la zeh.
I think a better way to sell lingerie would be to sell it in private to people that need it since it is something that is used in private. There are many other things that we deal with privately when it is connected to private issues.
I’m not sure I understand why my wife’s avodah makes you glad. My comment was only to point out that just because people may not do something doesn’t mean they cannot. I’m pretty sure that was self explanatory.
I think another way to look at it is that stores should sell clothing that conforms to the highest levels of tzniyus for its community (ie. me’ah she’arim shouldn’t be selling skirts only 4 inches below the knee while in America skirts should only begin there).
At the very least the store owner should feel a responsibility to make sure that anyone who tries on clothing in her store should be allowed to buy it only if it conforms to the her own standards of tzniyus. How can I sell you something that goes against my own principles?
Those women that feel a need to dress for their husbands in private should be able to buy the clothing that they need in a private venue. The same way we deal with any other issues that are bein ish l’ishto.
The only reason I can think of not to practice this way is that maybe it would make women who are not interested in maintaining the levels of tzniyus of her community would end up going to a mall where she might buy even worse clothing.
I was told by my Rosh Yeshivah that really a person shouldn’t want Moshiach for himself as that would make him not able to be mekayem mitvos anymore or be able to get schar for limud hatorah.
Instead a person should want moshiach because the klal needs it and that as long as we are in galus the shechinah is suffering.
So even someone who is living comfortably and enjoyably can still want moshiach for the sake of the shechinah and klal yisroel.
Ze’evMan: (Don’t know how to make it italics)
“Does the average woman keep her hair covered all the time (meaning while sleeping, showering, etc.?) No. I’d be willing to bet that over 99% of the women in Klal Yisroel today don’t hold to such a standard. So Kimchis’s example is not relevant for most of us.”
I’m not sure exactly why “the average woman” is what sets the standard of where people can reach.
The fact is that women CAN attain these goals. My wife has a separate snoode that she uses for sleeping in, so aside for when she showers or cuts her hair its probably always covered.
The only difference between the gemarah and nowadays that I can see is that in those days the bathhouses were outside the house, so the walls of HER house would not have seen when she bathed.
The whole point of that gemarah in my opinion is to teach exactly the opposite of what you are saying. Yes, it is true that Halacha leaves much leeway for what you can where and when. But the gemarah is teaching that a woman SHOULD strive to the utmost to be as tznius as possible.
In addition the pasuk “hatzneya leches im Hashem elokecha” teaches that ikkur tzniyus is from Hashem, not from other people. So that would mean always not just in public.
Similarly a man can be yotzei limud torah with the mishnah that we say from pea’ah after birchas hatorah. But the mitzvah of talmud torah is a mitzvah tmidiyus and so a man is required to learn every free moment not just the two halachos that someone in the shteibel says after shacharis to grab another kaddish.
I think this question is outside the realm of a thread. There are a lot of important factors that need to be taken into account.
For one thing I’ve heard of people who got a “kibud av diploma” just for the sake of their parents and then went back to full time learning.
On the other hand R’ Shach said (in an English book on his ma’amrim or something like that) to a yungerman that was having trouble with parnassah and decided to go out to work. He found though that working wasn’t netting him more money as he had more bills. R’ Shach said to him that a person who sits and learns all day is not within the bounds of natural law and his parnassah comes straight from Hashem but once he stopped learning to work he put himself under derech hatevah. This is like the Mishnah in Avos 3:5.
So I think each case needs to be spoken over with a rav who can guide a person and support him in regards to his parents.
I think that as long as you don’t appear radically different from each other then most hashkafic issues can be compromised on. I think it is more important that your goals should be in the same direction. I think anyway in most shidduchim each side will always have its nekudos that he/she is better/worse in.
Just that the similarities should outweigh the differences so that you can have a united front in everything you do.
WellInformedYid:
I started off by thinking about Hashem whenever I wasn’t occupied with something else. I think that because learning that the concepts behind that sefer became so important to me, learning it every day kept me focused on that goal. My wife had an alarm set every 15 minutes that reminded her to stop and think of Hashem. Gradually the thought of Hashem remains a constant presence in your head.
Its been two years since I finished it and I still feel the effects of it. It opened up a new world to us a totaly different way of looking at the world. Since then we’ve had happy tirchas like children but lately me and my wife have been talking about doing a refresher. The idea behind it is simple but it just needs to constantly and consistently be hammered into your head.
I really enjoyed “WorldMask” and “Living Inspired” by Rabbi Akiva Tatz
Both me and my wife had our lives changed by the sefer “Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh”. I’m not sure who the author is but I was given the sefer personally by R’Gamliel Rabinowitz a well respected rav here in E”Y. (There’s an English version that I found hard to read because its just translated word for word and to me it came out rather dry).
Also if the “Touched by a Story” and “Tales for the Soul” series don’t inspire you then your heart is made out of steel. Those books can make a rock feel inspired.