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imamom: they would seriously give you a number they weren’t 100% sure was yours?
That’s actually shocking. It defeats the purpose of the whole venture and is such a sakana.
goq: I don’t let people talk about friends that way. 🙂
I used to be in a very similar situation (though it wasn’t my family that was problematic- they were and continue to be awesome) where I had social issues in school and was quite depressed and even self-harming in upper elementary school. After a bit too much feeling sorry for myself, one friend pulled me over and told me that she didn’t like it when people talked that way about her friends and that I needed to stop it. It was a kind of a jolt- I had a friend who actually cared about my saying things like that about myself- and even though it was one semi-casual sentence, it really (if only temporarily) snapped me out of myself and helped me see all the people in my life who really cared.
I find that the saying “nichnas yayin yatza sod” can sometimes be true on the internet- you say a lot that seems private because you don’t actually see who you’re talking to. Even trolls IME sometimes release too much about themselves because they feel like nobody knows who they are- they are intoxicated by their anonymity. Never having met you in person I don’t know what you’re like, but knowing your posts, as popa and the mods and Syag and all of the other people on here who actually really like you said, we know a lot of what you’re like- the opposite of weirdo. Normal and even more than that. Not to mention one of the nicest people here, always at the front lines when it comes to defending people and preventing namecalling and abuse. The sensitivity you’ve obviously gained from your negative experiences seems to have really shaped you into someone we would, I’m sure, all love to know in real life.
Who are these people who treat you like a nebach? I’ll get my dad to write them a computer virus :). In my personal circumstances, I found that in my progression from elementary school to high school, I was able to have a new, much more emotionally healthy seviva and it did wonders for me- I have no idea what you’re life’s like, but any environment that is sapping you so much emotionally isn’t worth being in, not for a million dollars.
Hatzlacha! Whenever someone says something, picture Popa throwing deep-dish pizzas at him. Then, when he asks why you’re laughing, punch him in the face.
🙂
MDG: Everyone dies… it’s hard (if not impossible) to pin down why people die when they do.
(Sorry, this is a sore subject for me just this second.)
Yes, this is a nitpick- technically, what you said is pretty much what I heard on the subject.
I was a tenth grade shnook who was bored.
Now I’m a twelfth grade shnook who’s stressed and bored at the same time. Difficult feat, but I seem to have managed it.
My second birthday is in less than a month!
I think the difference is that while things do happen to us in olam hazeh because of things that we do, there isn’t a direct, apparent correlation until olam haba. People can say that Hurricane Sandy happened because my Shabbos skirt is too short, but it’s a shot in the dark- they have no way of knowing. In olam haba maybe I’ll get onesh for having my skirt be too short, but it’s only then that I’ll know for sure that that was the reason.
No kvitlach people?
I didn’t. Usually I like shticky things, but I don’t even usually celebrate Thanksgiving.
My friend was telling me all about her Thanksgiving dinner, and she asked how ours was, and I was like, what, the pizza? Yeah, it was very good.
phone_retard, streekgeek: hahahahahahahahaha
zd: I had a post saying the same thing. I wonder what happened to it.
Anyway, I agree with you 100%. It’s not only that people are pressuring her, it’s that she feels pressured to follow those people. You can only move so fast without tripping and falling- move through things at a pace that feels right and natural. You are not Rebbetzin Kanievsky and she was not you. Listen to rap or don’t, but what other people say about it is not the point. Listen to them, but assimilate the information, if you so choose, at the rate that makes sense internally.
Good luck!
PBA: I was going to ask where you got this up-close-and-personal access to horse manure, but then I figured it’s probably the same place you encountered cow urine and I decided it was a dumb question.
Have people had success with putting sugar in Greek yogurts to make them less sour? I really want to like them, but…
PBA: Luckily, after the Rainden situation, people are a lot more aware now.
I like myself how I am :). I’ll leave it to the brilliant folks on the CR to figure out which of the options that is…
Oh, yes, we need the Discworld thread back…
“Did they have Tobacco in the Ukraine at that time?”
I think someone mentioned it, but yes, they did- tobacco came to Europe in around 1528, a good 175 years before the Baal Shem Tov was born.
I think it’s dangerous but (should be) legal, like tobacco. It’s not LSD or cocaine, but it’s pretty risky and potentially harmful, even while at the same time having medicinal properties (more than you can say for tobacco to the best of my knowledge…).
Okay, looking over the previous posts, I essentially agree with yytz.
The Orthodox Jewish community is listed in my psych textbook as a community with one of the lowest rates of drug use. Let’s please keep it that way.
bklynmom: What cracks me up about it though is that guys AREN’T really expressing anything, because it’s all covered up. They (and whoever does their laundry) are the only ones who actually know about it. At least when I wear colorful socks, you KNOW I’m wearing colorful socks. It’s sort of like this sense of smugness, like, I’m not fitting into the stodgy businessman/straitlaced yungerman stereotype, I’m ORIGINAL. Because *lowers voice* I’m wearing PINK SOCKS WITH BLUE STARS ON THEM. Just like everyone else.
I got my pics done in a place…
It was about $12 and it cost about another 25 cents for extra copies. As a bonus, when I updated my passport, I just gave in one of those pictures, so that was handy.
Although… it just hit me that people are going to be judging how I look my my appearance in that pic. Eeeuurgh…
It is four of the same pic, though. I know that Michlalah said only official passport photos and not digital photos, but for all I know if you do it right they may not even be able to tell.
No problemo.
Hey, LAB- possibly stupid question-
someone I know made a new version of the song for color war or something and we were talking about it and I was wondering where you guys got the tune from- because she was going to obviously attribute the tune to you guys but we were wondering if you got it from somewhere else.
She thought that maybe you used a generic beat, but I just figured I’d ask.
The songs aren’t really my type of thing, so I was impressed that I actually really enjoyed them anyway :). “Things Not To Say On A Shidduch Date” can never be beaten, though…
T613T: Bangs really, REALLY don’t work with my face shape, and they’re a pain in the neck to keep normal-looking. (Which is sad, because I actually like the way they look on some people…) I tried side bangs and while I loved how they looked after the haircut I couldn’t be bothered to keep them looking that way. I have no interest in burning my hair off every day, nor do I have time to.
Whenever I tell the hair stylist what I want (a cute, shortish style that is maintenance free), she just sighs and cuts three inches off the bottom.
Anyway, back to the original thread (there was an original thread?): CC rocks.
Actually, I think my cousin went to Ner for a bit. He also rocks. So yeah.
Glad I could be of such immense help.
I’m quite, quite female.
And it was a women’s magazine, with stuff to give “those significant guys in your lives.” (I’m not sure if that’s the exact quote, but it was just as sappy.)
HMY: I mentioned it only because I found it hilarious and it fit in in context with your post. Not to prove you wrong or anything.
Those socks looked mamash ridiculous. Okay, so I wear socks like that all the time, but the thought of them under a business suit or something is just funny.
And whoever asked, I don’t usually look in magazines but I’m getting seriously desperate here- my “lop a couple inches off the bottom” approach is getting kind of sad-looking.
BTW, can you tell that it’s that time of night again?
mods, do you really not read my posts…?
WIY: I feel like I asked you this before, but how can you know that someone went off the derech almost solely due to rap, and how can you extrapolate that scenario to others?
post customizations are $3.99 a post
PBA: There’s a logical inconsistency here. You say that you’re talking to everyone. You also say that everyone is a big fat jerk. I am one of everyone.
Fat, probably. Jerk, maybe. But I’m only 5’2″.
And I don’t learn daf yomi.
My sister says that “snort” means “yes.”
I don’t know why.
Hear ye, my random and irrelevant contribution of the night.
Guys, he’s not talking to us. He’s talking to the big fat jerks.
In other words, if you’re insulted, then that says something about your self image, no?
Vogue: You don’t need to be what anyone else tells you to be. You don’t need to marry a BMG guy or give up what you like
- to please others
. [ATT MODS: I stink at the codes- can you correct this to either italics or underlining if I did it wrong? Thanks loads and gut voch!] If you decide on your own, for good reasons, that you don’t think that rap or reggae or what have you is good music for you to listen to, then you’ll find plenty of people who agree with you. There are many speakers, like Rabbi Nissel mentioned by ultimateskier, who may convince you. (Happens to be he didn’t really do it for me, but that’s a story for a whole different day. Everyone works differently.) But if you’re doing it for the peer pressure, then that just causes resentment. Like VM said, there is a lot of peer pressure that is absolutely not lesheim shamayim, peer pressure that is for completely the wrong motives and really destructive, as you’ve noticed for yourself. No real, true change can come from anywhere but within. There can be a spark from outside, but if you don’t feel an inner conviction, it won’t go anywhere.
The chumra-of-the-month club has many many actively recruiting members. When they try to send you this month’s new shipment, make sure they don’t hit your address.
I don’t listen to rap, and it’s just really not my style, but I’ve had people tell me that some things that I listen to weren’t kosher, such as (memorably) one respected rov who said that classical music was tamei. Maybe in twenty years I’ll see his point of view (I’m skeptical, but hey, you never know). Right now, though, if I tried to assimilate that perspective and stop listening to Mozart, I’d be a seething mass of disbelief and resentment (and that’s not a metaphor or hyperbole- ask anyone who knows me, that’s literally how I’d act) because that’s just not me and not how I think. It doesn’t matter how truly righteous and correct anyone’s opinion may be- until I really, truly buy it, it’s just a no go. But you know that already. Remember, nobody can “impose” hashkafa on you. Hashkafa is your viewpoint, and even two people looking at the same thing from the same location will by necessity see things slightly differently.
I have a Nook, similar business, and there are pluses and drawbacks to both.
(Wow, really unexpected curveball there…)
I love books, and my Nook gives me the opportunity to read them whenever wherever without shlepping around bulky books. (I just finished Les Miserables, fondly known as “the brick.” If I’d seen it first in paper, I would probably never have dared to pick it up.) The screen is nonreflective, so it’s not like reading off a computer screen, and my particular version has a backlight which is handy now that I’m in transit in the dark. I have hundreds of books on there now, and I bring them all with me wherever I go without having to shlep around heavy books. There is no internet except for the Nook store, and B&N customer service takes care of it for you if it needs fixing. (It also uses the same charger as my phone, which is nice and convenient.)
Books, on the other hand, can never be really replaced. The Shabbos issue is obviously a big one, but even beyond that, the ability to look at two pages at the same time is something that I miss. The heirloom factor is also a big deal for me- some of my favorite books came from my mom. They don’t need charging and don’t occasionally freeze. (My Nook is a bit old.)
To sum up my tl;dr post, there’s a time and place for both, and I’m not giving either one up any time soon. The reading experience is great with both, but as far as the actual visuals, I’d make the argument between the ability to increase font size on the Nook and the ability to turn multiple pages at a time and view two pages side by side in real books. Otherwise, I think the experiences are quite comparable.
Okay, so I’ve been in the background of people’s Snapchat and Instagram photos, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that if someone took a photo of me on purpose with the intent to find out about me, I’d be extraordinarily creeped out. Weirdly flattered (and stunned beyond belief), but concurrently completely creeped out.
Not likely to happen, but still…
I would also never do it myself- I’m one of the type that thinks that it’s stalkerish to see someone I don’t recognize and ask later who he/she is… more of the meek and let-things-be style.
HMY: I beg to differ as far as the color sock trend, I was recently looking at a goyish magazine with my mom (I’m looking for haircut styles, if anyone has any ideas) and there was a whole holiday gift section for men, with the crowning place given to socks in orange and gray stripes, pink and green polka dots, blue and red zigzags… we were absolutely cracking up.
(Sorry, just suddenly and urgently felt the need to put that out there.)
Wait, you got RID of the raw dough?…..
… that’s the best part! Whenever I underbake my challos, everyone always fights over the parts in the middle that are still gooey. Especially when it’s warm.
When the challah’s frozen, however…
I don’t know any Ner guys, but all the CC guys I know are awesome. (My cousins have a habit of marrying them… good taste I call it.)
apy: I heard that joke, but not with the Breslover… then I made the mistake of repeating it to a Brisker. Who baruch Hashem found it hilarious, so that’s all right in the end.
Isn’t there an inyan that you’re not supposed to repeat words during davening? I’ve seen it come up in things like chazzanus.
funnybone: the point is, don’t do it on purpose, or with a goal in mind. Do it automatically and instinctively because you really ARE thrilled and proud.
PBA: Okay, taavah’s too big, I’m going to take credit for that one :)… but especially because it’s true. Working over the summer in a camp for special needs kids with a big focus on life skills, we gave positive reinforcement, but it was REAL positive reinforcement because we were thrilled when a girl did the right thing. If someone had said, okay, if Shprintzy hits Yenty you should give her positive reinforcement, that just wouldn’t happen. When a girl got up from the table right away after dinner, or participated in an activity, or davened well, it was a great feeling for us and the point was to make sure that that great feeling washed over them as well. If you can’t give positive reinforcement as a natural consequence of the right thing, as an outgrowth of your happiness that your beloved child/student did the right thing, then that’s a problem.
I actually have a teacher who is eerily fond of giving us articles all about how too much praise is bad for students and how the ones who barely received any positive reinforcement were more successful. REALLY fun to read…
PBA: Ooooh, cool, you have a pet goat?
And silly me, I thought obedience school was just for dogs…
plite: I actually really like regular yogurt. I eat Dannon vanilla all the time when I’m too lazy to eat a real lunch. I just find Greek yogurt too sour, especially as I don’t like fruit flavors so I generally have vanilla. I even dumped about a cup of chocolate syrup into a Chobani vanilla and it was still really not to my taste…
Is that actually a real thing?
You’ve GOT to be kidding me.
Nah, was just thinking morbid myself.
I’m sure you’ll do fine, ultimateskier. The boundaries aren’t that clear, and everyone has their own individual factors that make them different from the next person, GPA notwithstanding.
🙂
And I sympathize- I go to a remarkably similar-sounding school…
Goq, DY: HA. Love it.
(This comes right off a conversation between me and a friend about unfortunate unintended implications, which is why I find it especially hysterical.)
Where did the rest of the thread go?
Yay! You did it, Goq!
Would you like a pepper baby?
notsheep: I can guess your reason for your username… not a lot of originality there, eh?
That’s not right. Just go wipe the smirk off his face, please.
Hero connotes infallibility. NOBODY is infallible.
Examine this person. Why did he/she (probably he, so I’ll just use that) become your hero? What trait of his caused the admiration? Is this trait still present in him and able to be learned from, or does this let-down spoil your ability to gain? If you feel that you are able to be like Rabbi Meir Baal HaNes (and many people aren’t) and eat the pomegranate and throw away the rind, then perhaps attempt that.
If this person had one trait that you admired and because of that you began to hero-worship this person, that isn’t necessarily the best idea. Every person has good points and bad points. Admire each person for their strengths, and don’t assume that every person with a strength you admire is also admirable in every way (though I understand that you figured this out already).
Don’t let this stop you from trusting people. Just be discriminating in how you look up to people and why.
(This is, obviously, all general advice given without knowledge of the situation…)
oomis: I know where the word came from, but it just sounds very funny. (Also, the time of night at which I posted that may be a factor in why I said anything at all… don’t remember when that was, though.)
yytz: All I know is what the OP said (I admit that that’s obviously incomplete), but there’s a big jump from “hisbodedus, increasing one’s emuna, getting more sleep and exercise, eating healthier food including dark chocolate, [and] increasing social contact” to “one can daven to Hashem and have the emmunah to rise past the yetzer hara of depression and never have to take a single drug such as an anti-depressant.”
Even if that’s not the way he said it (and for all I know it may not be) if the details of the first post are correct, then one major difference is in the way you treat depression. Your post, which makes a lot of sense, still treats depression as an illness or biological fact for which there are many non-chemical, non-psychiatric cures- the OP treats depression as a yetzer hara. Even if depression were solely psychological, treating it as a yetzer hara is probably not the way to go. A yetzer hara usually connotes a feeling or inclination that you are not supposed to have and that you must sublimate- a potential mental illness needs to be treated with support, not just “oh, I shouldn’t have this feeling, I must not be having enough emuna.” Calling it a yetzer hara makes it seem like it’s the fault of the sufferer, which your post does not indicate.