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Insecure?
real-brisker
Im not in a position to arrange such an event personally.
Do you think that Misaskim can put such a thing together? Erev Shabbos is very short but maybe something can be arranged.
new2thescene
What does Misaskim have to do with arranging a Kinus Tefillah?
new2thescene
Are there any rallies here in Brooklyn? please let me know!
Blinky
You are welcome! I’m so happy for you! Mitzva Goreres Mitzvah 😉
This may come off as sunding harsh but its the truth. The reason why most people can’t handle (or have a very difficult time) losing a young child or baby is partially because they view their children as my child, my baby… its NOT your child or your baby. Hashem chose to make you a Shliach as a custodian over this neshama, its your obligation as a parent to do your best for the child, but its Hashems neshama and He gave it to you He can take it away.
If a child dies at such a young age it is likely that the neshama only needed a small tikkun and whatever pain it went through was that tikkun and it can now be in Gan Eden completely cleansed.
The worst thing a person can do is question Hashem. If you ask Him enough questions He will bring you up there to show you the answers. But the real answer is that there are no questions. Hashem knows what He is doing. Trust in Hashem and He will heal all your pains.
BP Z
Purim there’s a specific mitzvah of simcha, however Chanukah does involve simcha as we say Hallel and part of giving Shvach and Hodaah to Hashem is being Besimcha. The Simcha comes from recognizing how great Hashem is and how much he loves us and just how He saved us then he will save us again in the very near future and bring Moshiach Tzidkeinu. Amen.
BPT
Rabbi Abraham J Twerski, M.D. in his book Ten Steps To Being Your Best defines self esteem as:
I am entitled to regard myself as having value and worth because I was created by G-d and endowed with a G-dly soul. Therefore I have unconditional value and intrinsic worth just by “being,” independent of doing and accomplishing.
blinky
I cant go through it too thoroughly because each part has its own significance. I have taken bits and pieces from Artscrolls Interlinear Siddur. They have an explanation before every Tefillah in the siddur what its about and they also explain various phrases. Im a huge fan btw and I think its mandatory that any Jew who wants to really Daven with Kavannah should Daven from one of theses. I cant tell you how thankful I am to Artscroll for putting out this Siddur.
Ok here goes:
Shema before going to sleep is a protection against the dangers of the night. (Brachos 5a) Many of the Tefillos we say date back to the times of the Gemara and Geonic times.
The Ribono Shel Olam tefillah (the first thing you say) is because before going to sleep it is proper for one to examine his/her deeds of that day and should one recall an improper deed one should pray for forgiveness and undertake to correct their ways.
It is also proper to forgive those who wronged him/her. In the merit of this one will be granted long life (Mishah Berurah 239 1:9)
Hamapil is about that the ideas and fantasies that we have during our wakeful hours not produce disturbing nightmares or immoral dreams. Such dreams menace the purity of our thoughts and feelings even during our waking hours.
Blinky, there are a lot of other things we say in Krias Shema Sheal Hamitah and they are all important and many have deep Kabbalistic import.
If you want to see more go to your local sefarim/judaica store and look at an Artscroll Interlinear Translated Siddur at the KSS”H part.
Again I strongly reccomend you get an Artscroll Interlinear Siddur. It will change your level of Tefillah tremendously. I am willing to buy you one as well Bli Neder if you promise to use it daily and Daven with Kavannah.
popa_bar_abba
If single people dont exist then I guess the shidduch “crisis” has been solved.
Moderator-80
Im not saying not to appreciate. But if you buy a 16 year old a game that says for ages 5-10 on it do you really think the gift giver has done a “mitzvah?”
You arent obligated to give a gift, but if you give one make sure you arent embarrassing the recipient. Thats all Im saying!
Yes you should still try and be a Tzaddik and appreciate it and be grateful, but it hurts when an aunt or uncle does something like that…
mom23
You are welcome!
Helpful
Actually, it usually is mutar and rarely is assur. Please read the PDF and then speak….
mbachur
Alaska is out of town Lchol Hadeiyos.
Moderator-80
Yes one should be appreciative but many times the gift is so embarrassing that its better not to give a gift than to give a gift and embarrass the person.
Im obviously not talking about someone who cant afford a decent gift, but almost anyone can find something decent for under $30. Buy a nice book or whatever. But dont buy some silly thing thats not even age appropriate and is just pathetic and screams that the gift was bought last minute as an “afterthought” or while checking out at Rite Aid or Duane Reade!
Helpful
Giving a non Jew a gift is NOT in violation of Halacha!
READ THIS!!!!!
http://www.kof-k.org/articles/040108110431W-28%20Lo%20Sichaneim.pdf
Mod-80
Some gifts say, look I thought of you… Some say look how little I thought of you or think of you.
ramateshkolian
I think husband and wife are the ones who can most safely work together as one wont likely or is extremely likely to have a yetzer hora to steal from or sabotage the other….
After that I would say a father and son business could work as long as there are clear boundaries and the son has respect for his father. There have been stories where kids pushed their fathers out of the business nebach…
Siblings can make it work but its tough, again, boundaries have to be clear, everyone has to understand that “plony” is boss even if he or she may be the youngest sibling. Dont mix family with business. Keep things businesslike and professional thats the bottom line.
I would say most would agree that its smartest to avoid working with your brother or sister in laws.
Working for a father in law can be ok but again depends if there are also brother and sister in laws working there and if theres room for complications…
Just think it through and see if the personalities involved can work together and are mature people who can be professional and not mix family with business.
SimpleKindaMan
Altz Kavod Habriyos you should use a spell-checker.
BP Totty
Ill make you a deal if you promise to say it from a siddur every night I wil buy you an Artscroll Interlinear Translated Siddur on condition that you read it from that siddur and focus on the meaning of the words when you say them.
Haifagirl
I think you have a self esteem issue and maybe feel that “you don’t exist.” Saying “yet the frum community acts as if we don’t exist” is a ridiculous accusation to make. Singles very much exist and nobody pretends they don’t. If you don’t feel good about yourself don’t project it on everyone else!
Popa
It is mutar to do self defense even if in the process you may have to kill the person.
blinky
You are welcome! Glad I could help you out!
Jewish music stopped being Jewish when Shlomo Carlebach was niftar. Ok that may be a bit of an extreme view but I think you all get what I mean, his music was pure and from the soul, he didnt need to copy the non Jewish styles.
There are a few others who still have a Jewish taam, like Baruch Levine for example.
BP Totty
My point still stands, self esteem is something that comes from within it cant be dependent on anyone outside of ones self. Its about what a person thinks and how he feels about himself. Its looking at yourself and seeing the real you, the talents abilities skills and goodness inside you and not focusing on the failures or negative things that happened over the years.
haifagirl
I hate to break it to you but many single girls are teachers in the bais yaakovs in Brooklyn. I have no clue what the problem is, I didnt realize there was a need for single inspirational speakers.
Or are you just looking for something to complain about? You should be happy that Baruch Hashem we have so many great inspirational speakers!
BP Totty
You know the whole Krias Shema Sheal Hamittah baal Peh?
Blinky,
Mobile mode is usually much more limited, try the other modes. However it is possible that the internet on some of the older phones may not be sophisticated enough to handle all websites. If its a newer phone especially a smartphone (blackberry, android, iphone….) it should work just fine.
You are welcome!
BPT
Dont be so hard on yourself slow and steady you will get there as long as you are trying to.
??? ??? ???? ?? ???: ????? ??? ????, ??? ??????? ??????? ????? ???? ???, ????? ?????? ?? ?? ?? ????? ???? ??? ?? ?????? ?????? ?? ?? ??, ?????; “??? ????? ?????????”, ?? ???? ?????????, ??? ??????????.
Rabbi Chiyya Bar Abba said: Even a father and son, a Rebbi and his talmid who are occupying themselves in Torah in one gate (I think that means that they are next to each other and under the same gate, or it can refer to the fact that the Batei din used to be by the city gates…there are probably various pshatim) they become as enemies one to another (from heated debate) but they dont move from the spot until they love one another as it states (??? ???? ??????? ???????? ????????? ??-?-??-?) ??? ????? ????????? (????? ??????????? ????????) Vahev in Sufah (its a place Bemidbar 21:14) dont read it as ????????? but rather as ??????????. Basically its like a play on words which you find often in the Gemara and it means read it as if it says “there will be love at the end” (they will love each other at the end)
You are welcome 🙂
chesedname
Great idea I tried starting this a while back. It wont really take off. Theres a # of things we can work on. One obvious one would be to start loving our fellow Jew even if he or she looks different and is different and comes from a totally different background. Ahavas Chinum is the only way to bring Moshiach. We are still paying the price for the sinas Chinum of the brothers to Yosef, and of the generation of the 2nd Churban.
A great thing to start doing is, look for strangers (or even non strangers)to do Chassadim for. You walk into shul, see someone you dont know, get them a siddur, chumash, seat make them feel at ease…. at work help someone you dont know or even someone you know and especially if its someone you dont particularly like. Being maavir al middos is a huge zchus and a very Chashuv think by Hashem when He sees how His children love each other so much that even when they dont like someone they will still do them Chassadim…
blinky
On many mobile browsers there’s an option to use mobile mode or classic/pc…mode. You may find that option either all the way at the top or more likely all the way at the bottom of a web page it may be a small link that you will have to click so zoom in and check the bottom. Also some browsers have it as a built in setting or have it as a downloadable add on where you can select to view things in mobile or classic/pc/desktop mode.
What phone and model do you have?
Popa
You didn’t use the word hiddur but you are correct you were first!
mazal77
“There are many other ways to be mechanueh children to show what money is really given for.”
I agree, Im just saying its not up to you or me to tell someone how to show the message to his kids. Additionally, I will go out on a slight ledge and say that anyone who buys such a becher Lishma probably gives tons of money to Tzeddaka as well and is probably mehader other mitzvos in a similar manner by showing money is not an object when it comes to mitzvah observance.
popa_bar_abba
It is a hiddur mitzvah. But that doesnt mean one is obligated to buy such a becher even if he can afford it.
BPT
Low self esteem is not clinical depression but I guess it can lead to it.
Pithy means having substance and point.
Ramateshkolian and shimmel are correct self control leads to self respect and self esteem.
BPT theres a problem with your quote, what happens if Chas Veshalom the person that you are the world to dies. Is your self esteem gone now? Self esteem is internal and cant be dependent on anyone or anything. Its about loving and accepting you for who you are regardless of what you have or havent done.
BPT
Any connection to the Parsha where Pharaoh dreamed about the 7 fat cows eating the 7 skinny cows?
Seriously speaking, the value you put on a person greatly affects the way they value themselves. The story of Johnny Lingo shows how you can bring out the best or the worst in a person.
However this story is not reality and is largely based on fantasy. Natural physical beauty is a gift from Hashem. Today, with the right cosmetics and dressing knowhow a girl who is even “plain” looking can put herself together and look attractive. Confidence and a strong self esteem can add to her beauty and make her personality attractive, but to think that if a girl has a strong self esteem she will become an instant beauty is ridiculous and foolish. I have met girls and married women who are accomplished and seem very confident who are not particularly attractive. Yes their confidence does add to their likability but it doesnt make a person a beauty.
The message though is extremely important for every dating guy and girl to know. You want your spouse to shine, treat them like gold. You want your kids to shine treat them like gold.
This is also true in the business world. You want your employees to shine treat them like gold. Its just a way of dealing with people and bringing out the best in them.
BP Zaideh
BPT and I never got to ????? ?????? and in fact I think never left the ?????? ?? ?? ?? stage, but thanks for the Gemara quote.
WolfishMusings
I have noticed a pattern that mosherose waits for you to say something he doesnt like or agree with and then poof he shows up to attack you. He is baiting you. Please ignore him so he will leave you alone.
BP Totty
“I think this thread is so important, I’m reviving it.
Here’s a thought:
To the world, you might be just one person, but to one person, you just might be the world!
How’s THAT for a self esteem builder!”
This may help someone feeling a momentary dip in self esteem. But someone who has a real self esteem problem needs more than some pithy sayings to help them. They need major therapy.
The bottom line of low self esteem is that the person doesnt see themselves as having value. It requires changing the way one thinks about themselves and that requires a lot of hard work and constant reinforcement.
Anyone reading this who is suffering with low self esteem, even occasionally should read the book Real Power by Dr. David Lieberman. It will change your life!
Below is the link. No jokes this book is a life changer and Dr. Lieberman really understands the issues and helps you get to the core and uproot those self defeating thoughts.
arc
“you dont need a TV you need a monitor of some sort.
harmful, killing your kids…big words. Care to explain?”
I didnt use those words, but I can explain them. Kids get very easily addicted and if not addicted then “attached” to these systems. This often lead to kids slacking off with regards to homework as well as the kids day dreaming about their games during class. Expect your kids grades to go down if you buy one of these time wasters. Especially if he has daily access. It wrecks ones ability to focus. This has all been proven by studies.
Additionally, many of these games contain graphic violence, vulgar language and in some cases pornographic images.
If a parent allows these systems into the home, be prepared to become a policeman and be strict over how much time you let them play. Additionally, be prepared to have to monitor the games they buy and borrow from friends.
Oh did I mention many of these systems have wifi internet capabilities? Which responsible parent would give unfiltered access to wifi internet to their child.
Basically theres no real incentive for a parent to want to have this in their house.