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cocacola: Gut Voch.
I’m sorry you feel hurt. Very sorry. Is there any particular post that hurt you? Was it one of my posts?
Again, sorry you feel hurt
Even during laining?
Yep
Where I daven, none. The Misheberach for “behab”, is said (its said a little later).
I was at a couple of places where they say the mi sheberach for those who refrained from talking during the tefilos. I guess thats the Tosfos Yom Tov’s Misheberach?
I was told they are all aware. “Its whats done”
I know we’re supposed to honor and respect a Kohain. About standing up though, is that the halocha? I was unaware we were supposed to stand up for a kohain. Anyone have a source?
I still don’t understand how anybody can know that ofcourse was seen and ignored; maybe she was not noticed (even during haman).
By now that kehilah may have changed, as the whole BP has changed (for better or..)
aries2756:
Why judge what other people do?…
Does the same apply if someone chooses not pledge allegiance but just mumble along?
BTW, this was a discussion about whether its the right thing to do, no about judging people.
apushatayid: They are not generic notes, nor are they written by the chosson himself. Its a purchased poem using the letters of the kallahs name to start each line. The samples I saw were all mushy.
Very valid point!!! But don’t forget this was at a Vort about which you can ask the same question !!!
What do you mean?
Neither do pedestrians have the right to violate the law, and cause ..C”V.
So now that you demand only drivers not violate the law, you would end up having traffic backed for miles, as very few cars can turn on busy roads during the day (always full of pedestrians). A solution has to be for the problem, not the outgrowths
In that case what’s the problem?
Same goes with giving gifts in public. Besides for the serious halochic issue (possibly rendering them married, right then), it also takes away from the personal connection gift-giving can create.
Again, I would assume that as much as a girl/kallah feels good being able to show off her chosson, they would much rather a serious and deep personal connection. Ladies/girls, please correct me if I’m wrong here
Is it only some pedestrians? Which city are you talking about, that has a problem of all cars and only some pedestrians?
canine: Please realize that all drivers are pedestrians as well. Once you park your car, you end up walking to your destination.
Now, what percentage of pedestrians, in NY, wait for a walking signal? Once you’ve solved the problem of cars being held up by pedestrians, who are violating the law.. L&D etc, then you can go about solving the problem of turning. Its circular.
If you notice, in NYC and other very populous locales, the other light does not turn green with the first turning red. There is a 2-3 second wait time where both lights are red. In less populous areas, when one turns red, the other turns green. Think about why it is that way.
I would assume that as much as a girl/kallah feels good being able to show off her chosson (that he bought a nice poem), they would much rather a serious and deep personal connection.
May I suggest, that if you are taking your wife to hear megillas esther, go EARLY and reserve a seat for her, to ensure she gets a seat.
If you have to, go back home to pick her up
?? ????- not to desire what others have, is another one of the Ten. Mentioned twice. How to fight that one? One way is by not focusing on all the details of what others possess, nor focus on their private behavior or thoughts. (Public behavior have halochos..)
I find your comment uninformed, ignorant-sounding, & an insult! :/
Ignorant-sounding and uninformed? Hmm, are you the only one who may insult?
(Nazi behavior was also generated from feelings of insecurity.)
Its not the place, but I do take issue with that. Eisov wanted to kill Yaakov, not only due to insecurity? same with Amolaik right after the splitting of the sea. etc etc throughout history. The idea may have its truth, but it runs a lot deeper
Hey, why not suggest/try shidduchworld, advertised (used to be?) right here on YeshivaWorld
While there you also ate food (maybe, mostly canned food, since other food was unavailable).
Do you regret going to Miami (under these conditions)? Absolutely, yes!
Do you regret the food you ate whilst there? Absolutely, no!
The children can be likened to food.
On the other hand, a Midrash was quoted here recently about Yaakov not divorcing Leah, even though he good reason to, since hashem blessed him with children through her
Check out chinuch.org
What grade or age are they
it’s expensive? If we have it often, it’s not as special on Shabbos. Imagion setting the white tabelcloth and imitating the Shabbos meal twice a week. I never felt comfertable with Thursday night cholent and kugel, either
When I learnt the halocha, I told my parents and started doing it (although it was very awkwad and difficult). They told me stop
However, it’s something I teach my kids (only at a formal setting such as meal, not everytime they’re playing on the floor, doing homework etc
I was friendly with a guy, now well-known, who came out well from MBC. When he joined, his family was just Frum, and they continued growing. Whether he would have done better had he never joined, and his good outcome is due to the family’s continued growth or it’s MBC’s credit, sounds like s/t only Hashem can know
Your reaction is understandable. (Some invalid excuses: the poor teens were fasting all day… Many/most of the people there were not regulars either, so they didn’t feel at home and comfertable welcoming others. Still, a seat should have been offered and it’s very hurtful)
apushatayid: That sounds a little mean
miritchka: She should go to her Rov/mentorr etc ASAP. If she dosent have one,, she should consult us here;
SJS: msseeker is not wrong. The stats you site are . Stats based upon personal reportage without independent verification, is flawed on several basis’.
1) who is choosing to included themselves in this study (and who is being asked to participatea?)
2))When obviously flawed studies are made, there is usually an agenda at hand. When I have more time, I’ll try and site some recent cases
aries: Which Rabbonim? The OP asked a question, why rip them apart???
msseeker: With all due respect, the numbers only make sense if you use slanted definition of difficult. We can define difficult in a way that 95% of women would fit there.. (ex. Take lots of time to get ready, moody etc etc)
msseeker: How did that book define dificult and what was their testing/research method? Thanks
silent one: Wow wow wow. I’m so sorry to hear about these challenges you faced. It sounds horrendous. Sounds like a real shrrew.. B”H you’ve held your sanity and are even seeking to help others avoid this.
On another thread you even take responsibility for not listening to your Rebbe. I am hopefully inspired.
MDG: Based upon the way you describe the book, I hear your point.
I once saw quoted in the name of the Ari that tzadikim who suffer from their wife is because of the Eigal, where the women were completely clean.. (I don’t think it was a justification for the wives, just why the husband suffered.)
R. Yakkov of lisa’s (Nesivos) wife, abused him, yet refused to take a get. Are. Akiva Eiger tried to talk her into accepting one. Her response: “do you expect me to give up living with such a tzadik?”.
(LMA, they didn’t advocate the exuses made up nowadays or divorces)
MDG: The Midrash states that the posuk “birtzos Hashem darchei ish, gam ovav yashlim ito” (when G-d likes the way of a man, He will cause even the mans enemies to make peace with him), is referring to a mans wife.
Never read Rabbi Brodys book, but the idea certanly has some truth
LMA: Not the case. A couple of friends whove messed up their lives- yes. Thanks though
s2021: Please elaborte. Which one of my points don’t you understand? Also, whos definition of abuse are you using?
LMA: you can’t understand. That’s fine. I don’t think we should be advocating divorce when don’t comprehend the whole picture. Leave it to their Rov/Rebbetzen/Rebbe/competent mentor.
I just wish we all incoporated one into our lives. We’d be better equipped to deal with adversery.
You can’t do that unless you ticket the crossers who cross on red in front of cars…
LMA: why do you think it’s either divorce or suffering.Who knows if the divorce is really a solution. Some problems are a resolt of low self esteem etc, not the cause thereof. Escape/divorce won’t solve it. (Just look at the post breakup fighting)
Should anhappy person quit serving Hashem C”V, or should they seek the state-of-mind called happy?
HaLeiVi: That’s true. Very true. I think both, men and woman can be guilty of different shtick.
Just to be clear, I didn’t start this thread (look at the top of the page). I was responding to the OP’s suggestion, which as the title indicates, was about custody.
LMA: I never claimed abuse is not possible. My point here is, that you can’t force the other person to change etc. Rather, do go to your Rebbe/Rav/Rebbetzen/compitant mentor etc. which hopefully is long existent, and get help. Running away won’t help. Nor will “changing the other” (isen’t that a form of abuse?!)
Now that you mention the D card, lets analize it.
Q: Why did the abused marry an abuser?
A1: Didn’t know, couldn’t tell.
Problem: Next time you won’t be fooled? Next time you will “see it”. Good luck
A2: He/She was such a good person while dating,
but became “bad” after the marriage or after a few years.
Problem: What will stop that from happening with prince charming/queen perfect, whos just waiting for them to jump ship.
Thought: Maybe we should seek to fix ourselves, and so many problems will divorce us.
(on rare rare occasion, the Rebbe etc. will advise divorce. I’d guess about 5% of divorces, if that much)
A husband either forces the situation by taking the wife to a Rav or therapist
mdd: You simply have a very lax and unserious attitude about marriage.
Read this and the next three comments
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/divorce-stories#post-208524
Ofcourse: Thank you . That’s a beautiful complinent. I appreciate it.
Thanks for the thread and it’s direction
shlomozalman: You claim Rabbonim ruin marriages and the “solutions” of western society save and make them. OK.
Can you please explain why western society has such a dismal successful marriage rate, while the ways of the “ruining” Rabbonim are so much better?
Hollywood had (could be they still do) the highest percentage of shrinks and those who utilize them, yet their relationship failure rate is about 87%!
even miss signs that person is right because one is too depressed to date properly
So sad.
What can be done to prevent this and to come out of this, once there
Shlomozalman: A young couple who wants a psychologist, therapist or marriage counselor to be there for them throughout engagement and marriage (for how long? Till 120?) is too immature to get married in the first place.
Giva a man a fish, you’ve fed him for a day.
Teach a man how to fish, you’ve fed him for life.
A rov/Rebbe etc (who usually goes unpaid for this particular service) can accomplish this.
You feel otherwise, based upon you’re general shita. Good for you
There is somewhat of a medium in the confidence builder dept. If they have musical ability they can part of their school choir, summer camp choir etc. The big choirs have become more of lifestyle of its own.
I agree with Ofcourse. Those of my friends who have a truly happy and successful marriage, have a Rebbe or Rov with whom they share a close relationship.
A Rov/Rebbe will be preemptive as well. They sense the challenges, based upon circumstances and personality and help work through it.
aries2756
TBT, did I say I don’t like shidduch dating? Where did I say that???????
What are you saying here?
That is probably one of the problems with shidduch dating. If two people meet on their own….
On the other hand, with shidduch dating, you turn over every stone to get the scoop on the prospect and their family so if one toe is longer than the other you will know about it and nix the shidduch.