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Gamanit has the best response 🙂
Daas Yochid, thanks for an excellent post.
The objection is to criminalizing the choice for a bochur or yungerman to stay in full time learning, which as Gavra says, should be repulsive to any shomer Torah u’mitzvos, and nobody is trying to fool anyone into thinking otherwise.
Exactly.
The CR is active in waves. Maybe the lawyer student wave is crashing as the phd student wave approaches the shore.
You should start to date when you are able to be a good husband and future father.
This means different things to different people.
You gotta try harder if you want to compete as a troll on YWN.
Sam2: A Jewish country needs to appreciate that learning Torah is not comparable to anything else.
To quote Hakatan:
First, I sincerely hope Mashiach comes long before your son is called up to the IDF at 18 and, regardless, that all of Klal Yisrael, including those in Eretz Yisrael, always remain safe and sound, BE”H.
…
The Zionists wouldn’t even have the basic decency to let the Chareidim earn a living. Meaning, their “ptur” of “Toraso umanuso” was conditional on literal mesiras nefesh of Zionist-forced impoverishment. It is a further chutzpah to now attempt to shmad these Chareidim, who preceded the Zionists in E”Y.
Hakatan:
Firstly, if you used the word “influence” instead of “shmad”, it would lower everyone’s blood pressure a couple of notches.
Secondly, thanks for posting. You are the only poster who consistently portrays a cohesive quasi-Chareidi worldview.
Thirdly, your good wishes to future soldiers are nice. And I’m sure you do appreciate their contributions, and thank them as you pass them on the street.
It’s just that even people who would want to align themselves with some of your opinions are turned off by the way they are communicated. Perhaps try starting (as you did here) and ending on a positive note about how you hope all Jews stay well. If people feel that you care, they are less likely to react in a knee-jerk fashion to constructive criticism.
When I read the JP article, I was so upset that a person could write such a thing, that I couldn’t even think of an articulate way to rebut it. Until Popa’s satire, which is quite well done:
The equivalent would have been if YWN’s headline had read:
“Most Modern Orthodox Jews don’t daven with a minyan because they don’t care about Hashem or the mitzvos.”
With a story reading:
“In a recent study released, it was proven again that Modern Orthodox Jews are not really Orthodox, and could care less about keeping the Torah. While it is fact that more than half of them live within 18 minutes of a shul, a majority declared that they do not attend shachris on a regular basis. They wake up and eat a leisurely breakfast with one message: Torah and Mitzvos are for old fashioned chareidim. What was even more astonishing was their complete honesty regarding the bankruptcy of their entire school of faith and study.”
This also deserves to be repeated:
I just want to point out the chain of events, as I saw it. For months, since it was announced that They were going to cut finding, the leaders started complaining. However the first word I heard of this emergency atzeres was only AFTER boys were JAILED for learning Torah.
I didn’t see it in any way to be about the money bec a) they would have gathered months before and b) everyone is being targeted, not just chareidim. The way I see it is that they obviously want money but to be criminalized for learning Torah is intolerable.
What’s the answer?
You should finish at least one semester successfully, then bring it up again.
Why not get a part time job meanwhile, save up some money so your parents can see that you have the maturity to support yourself.
And if worst comes to worst, if you’re independent enough to get married and support yourself you are independent enough to date.
Also, is there a recipe for making poppy seed filling?
Maybe pshat is that the categorization of yoshvei beis medrash v yosheiv keranos has to do with what you do in your spare time. Do you work 9-8 and then sit in keranos, or do you work 9-8 and also learn on the side?
And that that also transforms the rest of what you do into divrei torah v devarim beteilim. Meaning, that if your life doesn’t centralize torah, even the other important things you do become devarim beteilim, since they aren’t in the service of torah.
I like this very much.
Also, there are other dichotomies in this tefila. Someone who is from those who learn Torah, gets up to learn Torah, works and gets [spiritual] schar, is going towards Olam Haba.
Suppose someone is from those who learn Torah, but doesn’t fit one of the other categories?
So let’s go a step further. Maybe it’s saying that it’s about the attitude the whole time.
You can learn in Beis Medrash, but spend your time following politics and answering silly threads on the CR. That’s a yoshvei Kranos. Or you could work, but learn in your spare time and respond to Torah-dik and halachic threads. Then you’re a Yoshvei Beis Hamedrash.
I love this tape!!
I like the Teshuva and Hastir Astir songs best. This year is the first time I am listening to the rest of the tape, and so far it is outstanding.
Every time one door closes, another opens. But if you spend your life looking at the closed doors, you’ll never find the opened doors.
Also look into Bais Ezra.
I miss you, OOM.
This is in the realm of Remez and Sod.
If you start learning the Parsha of the week with Rashi, you will begin to understand why the answer to your question is very complicated.
Anyone can make up correlations, but to really understand how the world works, you need to learn Torah.
very funny, rationalfrummie. Now do shidduchim.
He made it up to make you jealous. Isn’t it a type of muffin?
Does properly = long?
That’s a really hard challenge. There’s two issues here. Your need to respect him, and your desire for him to be more intelligent than you.
The first is a need. You need to respect him. And he needs you to respect him.
As for being less intelligent, you may wish for him to be more intelligent, or organized, or have a better sense of humor, or speak in a British accent, or be more handsome, or like the same music you do, but these are wants. Your marriage can survive and thrive without these areas of compatibility, if you respect him.
You have a lot of good in your OP. It sounds like he cares about you, he loves you, and he wants to tell you things and spend time with you. He tries to get you things you want and to make you happy. You can respect, at least, that he loves you, intelligent as you are.
Some ways of showing respect are:
-Davening for his success (and tell him you are)
-Not disagreeing with him in public
-Responding calmly when he asks a question you think is dumb
-Not comparing him to other husbands
-Letting him know how much you appreciate his work/ little things he does for you
-Asking him about his day and listening
-Encouraging him within his abilities. Don’t try to make him something he isn’t, try to help him achieve his full potential without pressuring him.
-Talk positively about him to your family and friends.
-Ask him for advice on your problems. You may be surprised how different and enlightening the male perspective is.
-Be very explicit in what you want, eg, don’t write “peppers” on a list, say 1 medium green pepper. Men don’t read minds, and they won’t have any idea what size of pepper you usually get.
-Be calm when explaining what he did wrong. Don’t make a big deal out of his mistakes.
– Ask for menu suggestions for supper
-Praise him for things he does right.
These are just a few ideas. I hope it is helpful.
Whatever you want, as long as it’s tznius.
There’s no rules.
She did nothing to demean him, and came here because she felt she could have done even more to save face.
Yes, that’s how I understood this thread.
I learn Daf Yomi from Yated’s summary for women.
MDG, thanks for that interesting post.
Many of the Kashruth Standards are just chumras or just being machmir
However Kavod L’Rav is a Halacha
Nice sound bite, but makes no sense.
You don’t know where her Rav is from, or how educated he is.
Nobody holds by everybody who has smicha.
It was obvious that he caught that I didn’t answer the question, and I feel terrible for my reaction. I know that I should have just lied and said yes and dealt with the consequences whenever they would arise in the future, but I wasn’t thinking on my feet and now I just feel really bad. He had no right to put me on the spot like that, but I still feel bad that he now knows how little I respect his halachic opinions and how little faith I have in his observance of halacha. I don’t know if I should say something in apology, or if I should just let it go, since he’s probably forgotten it at this point. One of the other kids in the room thinks that I should talk out my issues with him, but I don’t think that would be productive at all, since there’s nothing he could say that would make me think he keeps a home up to my standards of kashrus.
I’m sorry you have to deal with this situation. It sounds really challenging, and it’s a credit to you that you can stick to your standards in a less than accommodating environment.
I agree with Popa’s comment.
I am maskim to all of the above.
I know that one! The moderators stand over a pot, with gurgling oozing boiling green slime, rubbing their hands with glee, and as they throw in a toad, they say: Deletrious!
Yichus is like having great grandparents. Wait a second – we all have great grandparents.
Yichus is like making popcorn. If you don’t use oil, you burn the pot.
Yichus is like a weather report. The forecast looks good but it isn’t always reliable.
Kb613, I’m glad it went so well. BTW I know several mixed couples (and one completely Sephardic on both sides) where the kids have blue eyes, so there must be some shared genes. It’s more common among Egyptian Sephardim, though.
Here are some questions that you can discuss on a date that will help you understand the cultural differences:
(honestly, these are important to discuss no matter who you date.)
1. Do you share responsibility for household chores, or are they primarily that of the wife?
2. What is his opinion of corporal punishment, for kids.
3. Is he going to be the breadwinner? If you both work, are you both going to be equal partners? Is he okay with you having a separate bank account, if you wanted one? Does he think women should know what is going on with the finances?
4. If you have career goals, does he think they should be encouraged, or is he just okay with it? And are you okay with that.
Hatzlacha!
And what about ketchup chicken?