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DhM, where did you learn? I thought Yiddish was gone from the Litvish world except in EY.
Simple Gimple was one of the least intelligent boys in his class in Yeshivas HaKanoim d’Marin Bishin. So, since the yeshiva and its leadership were in constant machloikes with everyone else, his rebbeim decided to give him a job. He was to stand outside the door of the yeshiva and yell “Shygetz Aross” at anyone who was clearly not part of the Marin Bishin community.
Once a Chabad mitzva tank dared to pass by Yeshivas haKanoim, and of course Gimple yelled “Shygetz Aross’ good and loud. The tank stopped, and the driver, seeing how pathetic Gimple looked, offered him a better job with food and pay – yelling “We Want Moshiach Now” every time someone finished putting on tefillin. All went well for a while until the Marin Bishin gang threatened the Lubavitchers and took Gimple back to his old job.
But now, Gimple, who really only had about three properly firing neurons in his brain, was confused. So, he started to scream “We Want Shygetz Now! Moshiach Aross!” at everyone who passed by.
How about Schmoigerman?
If you want oil portraits, be careful. Some are just photos sent off to China and printed with ink on canvas. The days of getting good, inexpensive portraits done here in the FSU, which was a big thing for portraits of Rebbes that really were painted from photos, is long over.
Ummm…the largest recipient of Federal entitlement programs in the US (over $400,000 per year and a huge staff, plus free housing all for doing nothing of any value) has a toll-free line to anywhere in the US.
There was no call. Those “charedi” news sites are free-for-alls where reports are taken from their own forums. One is no longer even under charedi ownership as its founders decided to heed the call of the rabbonim and stop their involvement with it it. A secularist with no shaychus or understanding took it over and just lets the inmates run the asylum. The more the rumors on sites like that, the more the hits.
its machzir grushuso…returning you divorcee
Yes, this is correct. The rov who was mesader kedushin for the first couple I mentioned had to find out what to do in terms of the kesuba etc as it is so unusual.
Stronzo (the name of a Southern Italian dessert, sort of like gelato but pareve). Pronounced STROHN-tzo.
LOL I am not a licensed health care practitioner! Do you mean my parole board?
Incidentally is the remarriage even an issue for bnei Noiach? The real toeva is such an issue that there is a specific mention of it being the absolute lowest level of societal degradation (marriage contracts for toeva).
Is his brother, whose first name escapes me, still active? He lectured mostly on shmiras halashon and family matters about 2o years ago.
A man remarrying his ex-wife when she has been married to another man in the interim is not only asur, the Torah calls it a toeiva. Yet it is legal almost everywhere. Why we object to same sex toeiva marriage but not this other kind of toeiva marriage is not clear to me.
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Enough games. How often does anyone marry his ex-wife after she was married to someone else that it is even an issue? The other toeva is something that the baalei toeva are pushing in everyone’s face.
I know of one case where both the husband and wife did tshuva after divorcing and then married again as frum Yidden after they met up again years after the divorce.
I know of another case where the couple is a bit on the well, unusual, side.
By the way, there is not a single “Chassidishe” Yiddish either. The “Ingarisch” (Lipanese) dialect spoken in Skvere, Satmar, Vizhnitz etc is different from Galitzianer or “Poylishe” Yiddish of Ger, Belz, Bobov etc. I hear the difference more in loshon hakoidesh: Hashem (Ingarisch) vs Hashyme (Poylish) is the most pronounced difference. Probably, the difference in Yiddish is really heard more in words that come from loshon hakoidesh.
And then there is the regional Litvish difference between “oy” and “ay”.
Anything on YK (deoraiso) is ossur. Less than a reviis of water, especially to take pills, on the 4 minor fasts (all derabonnon), is allowed by just about anyone. I am not sure about 9 Av which of course is also derabonnon.
OB Creedmoor: The Admou”r meCreedmoor says that Yom haAtzamois has the same status as Yom Kippur and that anyone who even has a drop of water on Yom haAtzamois is chayav kooreys.
I support the legalization of medical marijuana to treat both physical and psychological cravings for marijuana.
“Costed” is a pseudo-technical term used in place of “got a cost estimate for” and often followed by “out.”
“I costed out the server and I’m not going with OyMommy, even with that discount.” I wonder, in fact, if I heard it from a native speaker, or if it is “hymish” or even South Asian usage.
If you want to know whether Yiddish lessons are any good, ask whoever gives them how to say “a livelihood” or “income” in Yiddish.
IF he says “parnusseh” or “parnosseh,” forget it. The correct word is “Velfare!”
Seriously, get hold of the Avraham Fried Yiddishe Oitzros (or Reb Yermia Damen’s Ehrliche Niginim if you davka want to learn Galitzianer Yiddish), and Lipa’s tapes. Lipa sort of speaks/raps a lot of his songs and he is not hard to understand. The original Yom Tov Ehrlich albums may be a little hard to hear which is distracting.
Ein kotschke mit nuch ein kotschke iz Pekingische Kotschke far fir!
And look out for the YouTube debut of Nishtgeferliche Niginim – Niginei Creedmoor – the song “Fudshtemps Far Alle Yeedn” is in very easy to understand Americanized Yiddish.
220 Volt Baguettes
Gimpel the gonif from Chelm decided to visit relatives in America, and while there he engaged in his usual profession at a Wal-Mart. He stole a box of salt and a 9volt cell before he was stopped and arrested.
Chochom that he is, he asked to be booked for “A salt and battery” rather than misdemeanor theft.
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A visitor to the home of a Syrian businessman in Deal was surprised to see a picture of Solomon D-ek hanging from the ceiling in the living room. He asked: “Ezra, why are you hanging a picture of that menuval in your house?” The reply: “It’s just a copy; it’s there because I can’t hang the original!”
My friend was an alman when he married his daughter-in-law’s mother, who was a grusha. They could not be happier together.
A lady from my shul married someone who went meshugge and returned to his pre-gerus status; they obviously got divorced. She married a divorced man who became a BT after he divorced. They are doing just fine.
A rov whom I know and who many others here may know had to divorce his first wife because she declined in her level of observance (she had studied in a secular college because she needed the credits to go on for professional school and she studied all kinds of needless and unrelated kefira that caused her to go off). He married an almanah and they are doing just fine.
Zigt “shygetz aross!”
All the rest is commentary :)))!
Shlishi is correct. In two to three generations there will be a very big problem with yichus among secular “Israelis”. Hopefully, more and more secular Jews will leave EY before that happens, and join their brothers who have returned to Hashem in the US, UK, France etc.
There is no inyan of chet meraglim when we have no express right to self-rule in EY according to Torah.
EY under the tzioinim is the worst state of golus. It is dovor acher on the mizbeach.
Again – enough with this old tzioinish meraglim lie. Hashem did not bring us back to EY this time. Baryoinim seized the land, with permission from an illegitimate world body that then turned on those same baryoinim, and set up a secular polity there. If anything, the tzioinim are grasshoppers compared to the Jews – their whole ideology is falling apart and the new generation could care less where they live. However, there is no clear mitzvas yishuv haaretz and if you are going to get caught up in or contribute to the tuma, you will be swallowed up and/or vomited out.
When I look at the famous “listim atem” Rashi, I can only think of how the world sees a bunch of people who do not believe at all in the validity of the Torah, but have decided they are the heirs to the land Hashem promised us in the Torah.
An Arab terrorist imprisoned in a jail in EY once saw his Jewish guard eating pita on Pesach. He told the guard that he knew the Arabs would win because the Jews act as they do.
I learned in Montreal and I remember the ads very well. Very confusing indeed.
🙂 I don’t eat carbs on weekdays. 1.5 pounds of raw meat is about what I use to make ONE burger. One nice-sized bag of chopped meat from our local shoichet and factory = about 1.3 to 1.5 kilos = 2 hubcap sized burgers for me. Even one 220 g burger on a bun would be enough though; the empty calories of the bun would fill me up.
I’m in Eastern Europe – I know my metric measurements very well!
600 kilo bears in zoos eat over 20 lbs of meat and fish a day. They’re lousy pets.
Most importantly, get a private expatriate health insurance policy from a worldwide insurer that covers you in EY. For me where I am, AXA/PPP is the best but everyone needs different coverage so check out other offers as well. AXA/PPP covers you in EY so long as you will be there more than 6 months out of the year; it covers you everywhere else you travel as well except the US.
The price is not high, even for a zero deductible policy, compared to US private insurance, and you can then use the best doctors and facilities in EY on a priority basis rather than waiting for routine procedures with Kupat Cholim.
You can also get care in Europe should the need arise (taking US coverage on an expat policy is wildly expensive).
If you can stay in the kedusha and interact as little as possible with the busha vecherpa, then go.
The only two ways of doing this are going there after your children are past the age of chinuch and basically working abroad by telecommuting, or waiting until you have retired (UNLESS you are davka going as a marbitz Torah or to help some of the American kids who are in trouble because of “aliya” – then you have siyata deShmaya but even then go before you have any children or before your oldest has even begun cheder in chu”l).
Even then, keep your nose out of politics, don’t demonstrate, not for kvorim and not for Shabbos and not for anything else, and choose products and services from bnai Torah whenever you can.
The Admou”r meCreedmoor just paskened that “loi saase koil melocho” pertains to all seven days of the week and not just Shabbos.
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You know something is very wrong with your shul when they invite a guest speaker whose credentials include “Recently finished a five-year stint giving the advanced shiur in Otisville Beis Medrash” as an expert lecturer on business ethics.
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What is the best gift to give to Levi Aron and his roommate Bubba to keep their cell warm in the winter? Avrohom Mondrowitz as a throw rug.
220 g burgers? Three of those and I’ll still be hungry!
Baguette bar is the better of the 2.
Speaking of which, did you hear about the S.Y. and the Ashkenazi who opened a restaurant together? It’s called Douek and Feffer.
Oh, I did not mean that the justice system davka has to do it – I know NY is not a death penalty state. Bubba the Klansman or Abdul from Nations of Islam is just fine with me.
No one except the looney left would protest his execution if it somehow came to be. And I mean the really looney left.
Can I recommend “Al haGeula veAl haTemurah” by Harav Yoiel “Reb Yoilish” Teitelbaum ZYA of Satmar? Some may feel his basis of the three oaths may be flimsy because of questions as to whether you can base halacha on them, but he was (sadly) roieh es hanoilad.
He knew that koifrim and porkei oyl cannot settle Eretz haKoidesh without desecrating the land. This desecration now endangers every Jew who lives there, both those who support them and those who don’t, as well as Jews abroad, both physically and spiritually.
Most of us want to see the suspect, who has confessed, erased from the ranks of those with whom we share the world of the living.
Depends what you are going to see. I haven’t been to any movie screening except Ushpizin in a good 7 years, so I have no idea what’s out there. I would see a film similar to the film I last remember seeing (the one about the code breakers in WW2) again with no shame if I had the time and actually bothered to find out when and where it was playing. On the other hand, if you are going to see something knowing it isn’t 100%, better not to advertise you are going to see it.
I am knowink dis guy fin Rockland County somewhere, he calls to Chavyrim and asks them “Vee iz de kover far de grape juice…” He usually gets referred to the mental health hotline.
Then there was the chochom who called Chaverim to ask them to open the front door of a Lexus….that wasn’t his. The chochom even asked the volunteer to start it for him. When the volunteer refused, the chochom went on to start a new organization called “Ganovim” that specializes in this kind of stuff.
What we learn is why Avraham Avinu sent Yishmoel away, even though Yishmoel was his own son. Yishmoel was a pere odom, a sociopath, who would have been a spiritual and physical danger for Yitzchok Avinu and for future doros yeshorim. He had to go. Far away. Plain and simple. (The lefties love to say how much better things would be if Avraham Avinu had not sent the pere odom away – the answer is that we might not have been here today if he hadn’t sent Yishmoel away.)
We need to root out the sociopaths whom we now tolerate or even adopt as mascots in our shuls and neighborhoods. They are not harmless characters. They are nuisances at best and dangerous at worst. I found out recently that a supposedly harmless character from my old neighborhood, a nut who pretended he was a chazzan and even made tapes that he sold, is actually a molester. He’s not the only one – and his whereabouts are now unknown because he realized his time was up.
Did you know that New York City TODAY, with no Mafia to speak of, has the lowest rate of sexual assault of any city in the US that reports statistics, and also the lowest rate of property crime? I put “problem” in quotes because NYC has one of the lowest violent crime rates of any large city, too. Most of the homicides are related to illegal narcotics.
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You can thank Giuliani for that. Before I left NYC in 1992 I kept a heavy wrench sticking out of my pocket whenever I went to the ATM on the Upper East Side of Manhattan after dusk to pull more than $20, that is how bad it was. The only place I felt safe after dark in those days was Boro Park (I hardly had reason to go to Williamsburgh at night). I used to see live acts in Manhattan supermarkets that rivaled Eddie Murphy skits – shoplifters getting caught, telling the most outrageous lies, and then coming back again. Complete Somalian style hefkerus.
Giuliani was no-tolerance, no-nonsense. Even I fed the squeegee boys because I needed my windows done. He got them off the streets. Now, the statistics are skewed. It isn’t back to Koch and Dinkins but there is under-reporting going on. All you need is another left-wing mayor, or a new drug, and NY will go back to the dark days.
And yes, sometimes you need to take care of things yourself, of course not with the Mafia but with a real Shomrim (Willy-style), when the cops are tied by lefty do-gooder regulations that keep them from doing what needs to be done to thugs. I just said the word “community patrol” to a tzigane phony meshuluch in Willy and he ran like a rabbit. Even some blocks in Harlem are safe because locals, usually from the Caribbean, took matters (and baseball bats) into their own hands after one robbery too many.
During the Dinkins era, Roy Innis came up with the idea of arming ex-Caribbean policemen to take care of the crime problem. He was right. If criminals knew that someone who looks like a regular citizen just might be armed, they’d think many times before stealing.
Levi Aron is one thing; a psychopath is not deterred but nevertheless has to be erased. Crime is caused by permissiveness and tolerance of crime. Your average thug does not want to go to prison, let alone end up on the chair.
It is the bleeding hearts of this world, who have been disproven time and time again, and just look to impose their will on others and finance themselves with money paid by others, who are just as responsible for crime as criminals are.
Enough tzioinish recruiting here, please.
I know of maybe 2 out of hundreds of Western “oleh” (and you are only an “oleh” if you come from somewhere south of EY like Australia, otherwise you are going south which is “yerida” – “oleh” should be reserved for what it once meant which was people going to Yerushalayim to bring a korban to the Beis haMikdash) who did not lose terribly by going to EY once married and established – and even before. I mean loss of health due to bad medical care or in one case due to a car accident L”A which is very common thanks to the awful drivers in EY, loss of children to the streets, loss of career, loss of investment money and even loss of Yiddishkeit because of disappointment with the great paradise that the memsheles hazadoin made of artzeinu hakdoisha. In the case of one of the two who did not suffer, he did tshuva in EY as well – he was a former member of a kefira movement – so that may be why he did not suffer. The other one is not only wealthy from home, but is laundering money for a family member who declared bankruptcy “Creedmoorishly” after he was hit by a lawsuit for something I can’t even discuss here.
You want to live there? Work your tuches off where you are, retire early (or get yourself to the point you can do everything online – I actually can and I don’t want to live there even though I could go tomorrow), or buy a vacation home there like successful Americans do. Then you have the mitzva without getting swallowed by the medine which is maaseh sitra achra. And even then, make sure you can afford a Volvo if you intend to drive there because it is the only car that might keep you safe on those highways.
Besides, going to EY can be the biggest copout. Anyone can be a Yid in EY (well, this was the case until 500,000 non-Jews came from the FSU as Jews and now intermarriage and shmad are threats in EY as well). Tuition is free or near-free; you can laze around like so many people in EY do in make-work jobs and still manage tuition.
EY is kedusha. The medine is a sick, sick society – and I live in an unstable place myself so I know what a sick society is. That medine belongs in EY like a loaf of bread belongs on a seder plate. If you go when you are older and not working, then you get the mitzvah and you can isolate yourself from the society. If not, then you are taking a huge chance both spiritually and physically, and the results are usually no good.
And the “economic boom” in EY is an illusion that can come crashing down at any moment, so don’t think you will not get there and then – the end – the bust comes and you’ll want to take the next plane back – but you left your job behind back home and there aren’t many to choose from anymore. You can’t pay people $1200 a month after taxes and expect them to pay $2 for a single serving of cottage cheese – it is all a scam to make sure people live on overdraft, in constant thrall to the banks, which at the end of the day control the whole crooked economy in EY.
in this city there is a Dr. Death. She said that he pronounces it “Deeth”, but…..the spelling is the same.
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So he changed it to Kevorkian in order that people could pronounce it more easily????/
I am currently visiting a country that abolished its death penalty in 1981. Its murder rate is about 70% lower than that in the United States.
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Yawn. Some small society that is ethnically homogeneous, has little drug use and high taxes so that no one can really get ahead or even has the ambition to kill anyone?
The lowest street crime ever was in Mafia-dominated parts of Manhattan and Brooklyn. That is because any lowlife who dared even steal a piece of jewelry in the Little Italy or Bensonhurst of old knew that he’d be facing the death penalty, without a jury trial or much regard to pain and suffering.
I don’t think Martin Grossman exactly knew the penal code at the time he committed murder. Your average murderer is not a legal scholar, but he is a sociopath and therefore expects never to face justice.
Grossman was a below-average murderer, a sad, mentally stunted man who turned to drugs and crime to escape a life of sub-mediocrity. Not even smart enough or conscious enough to qualify as a sociopath, which is why some people supported his appeal (I did not, mostly because I knew he would just be tortured to death in the end by people above him in the prison hierarchy and because I am a diehard supporter of the death penalty who did not feel there were any mitigating factors other than a very well-meaning rabbi from a fine organization who got a little too involved.)
Levi Aron is a monster, a Jeffrey Dahmer fin inzerer. I don’t care how he became one or what his real story is. Ubearta es hara bekirbecho! And it is time for us to make a cheshbon and see if we are harboring any more Levi Arons – if we are we need to get them out of our midst and into a supervised environment even if Ohel or HASC needs to build that environment.
Those products from Europe have some markings in Ivrit like “beishur harabbanut hareishit leIsrael leochlei (avakat) chalav nochri.” That is how they end up in EY – in Russia I used to see the packages in Ivrit as well and I nearly bought one until I read the fine print.
I’m no expert on cholov akum products, but if Kinder is Ferrero, keep in mind that most Yidden in Europe who are not makpid on CY do eat Ferrero products like Rocher and Nutella.
Actually I just tried fluorescent bulbs in my bedroom fixture, which is subject to power surges. I purposely bought the cheapest, knowing that I’d never bother returning a bulb that I paid so little for, but also knowing that my time is also worth more than being tempted to return the more expensive ones (3x/price). I was right; the one I installed blew after 3 hrs and tripped my circuit breaker. I chucked it and the other one that I did not even bother installing, and ate the loss. I then read that power surges kill even the brand name fluorescents, so that is the end of that.
The store I bought it from is a reliable Jewish owned supermarket and they would have refunded my money, but it was not worth my time to get back the amount I spent. Probably it was not halachically right for me to return the bad bulb anyway, only the unused one, because I had more than a reasonable suspicion that it would blow.
I buy my live carp every Friday morning from a yukel who also gives me a guarantee that they will live for a week. When he tastes my gefilte fish on Sunday morning, he gives me a refund – and fast!
Umm..someone who can’t get a joke may also fit the dumbed-down definition of a shoiteh.
But if you change the person’s capabilities, he is no longer a shoiteh. IIRC a shoiteh is someone who doesn’t even understand that things fall down and not up. There was a man in my old shul who was born very delayed (his mother had an infection when she carried him L”A), and he was able to be taught enough to put on tefillin. A shoiteh? I don’t think so or the rav would never have told him to put on tefillin. His capacity was far lower than that of a teenager with Down’s who also davened with us at times.
But 2 generations ago at least one of these people would have been hidden away in a home and never would have learned anything. He would have been classified as a shoiteh.
Franz Josef Land
I was just talking about chemical drinks in general.
Anyway, here is some real chochma from the Starbucks kashrus site:
Soy Milk Non-Dairy
Use soy milk instead of milk in any beverage and it will be non-dairy, chalav yisroel.
Non dairy chalav yisroel?
Other than that, which shows sloppiness, the only real problem I found is that they recommend the use of this soy milk without mentioning whether it is supervised. Soy milk is a complex product. I also see no connection between the findings of that site, which match the CRC in many places, and the work of the “rabbi” you mention, who is indeed not reliable.
Reminds me of what I say about Coke. Rav Landa does not permit Coca Cola outside of EY. Here, we observe that issur in the breach – no Coke or Diet Coke in public but everyone who wants it drinks it in private if they have to. Pepsi is my first choice, but if it’s hot and all I can get is cold Diet Coke, so be it.
I don’t drink Coke in public here because those are our kehilla rules and I don’t want machloikes or anyone going around saying I use it. As for why I do drink it in private – while I have nothing but respect for Rav Landa and his is the only hechsher I trust 100%, just as I don’t insist on a hechsher for bleach, I don’t insist on one for Coke either.
What’s the only difference between bleach and Coke in EY? One is Badatz, the other is Rav Landa :).
(With Kakacino or whatever it’s called there are probably CY issues, but those drinks are all chemicals anyway. However, I think I am one of the few diehards who does not even walk into a Starbucks because of CY issues. I think you can have the plain coffee there and even some teas with no issues of CY, but I don’t feel right going in there.)
By the way, I had a vicious cat once that was just born “wired wrong” and we all know about dogs that have to be put down because they can’t be trained.
Sadly, there are people who, while we can’t put them to death or in prison unless they commit a crime, need to be isolated from society because they are “wired wrong.” Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, Arthur Shawcross, Son of Sam, the Unabomber and yes, Levi Aron – same psychopathy, difference in how early they were caught or when and how it manifested itself.
This is genetic brain chemistry at work, or the effects of an infection in the womb, or who knows what. But until Moshiach comes, there is no being warm and friendly to these people. That is like petting a grizzly, or like idiots who, I kid you not, buy a black market pet lion or tiger and claim that they keep it from becoming vicious because they let it play with their children and don’t feed it meat.
We need to sweep our moisdos out, and our neighborhoods as well. Maybe Ohel needs to build a group home for those who can’t be socialized – but it needs to be in the mountains (preferably in the furthest reaches of the Adirondacks or near Otisville and not in the Catskills where our summer camps are located) and the residents need to be supervised very carefully.
if you plan to vote for Obama in 2012″
I plan to vote for Obama in 2012. But this is really irrelevant to this thread.
The answer is who falls under each category…………..
I have a mixed bag. I am descended from both a giyores and royalty…..