oh please do allow intellectual debate in the CR!

It is a pleasure to read so many opinions from well informed Jews, the sources, arguments and texts used to represent differing ideas are informative and stimulating. Part of being Jewish is debate and opinion, without it we lose our intellectual heritage and genetic makeup. As a mother of girls and boys attending Sem and Yeshiva, the ability of my kids to debate and question is something of crucial importance to their spiritual growth.

Chief Rabbi Jonathan Sacks of the UK is a great writer and inspirational speaker. Of course we have here in Britan disagreements between different groups of orthodox Jews, something perhaps that is not so new!!!

He is a controversial figure, and that makes him rather interesting As for attending the royal wedding, in his role of Chief Rabbi for the UK he represents British Jewry, he is our ambassador. Of his intellect and fabulous eloquency there is no question. His views may not please everyone , but why should they?

I am married to a proud Sephardi, when we married he left the options up to me whether or not to work. Sephardim come from as varied backgrounds as Ashkenazim, generalizations are hard to follow. I worked whilst my husband learnt, than when we had children, he went to medical school as a mature student. Once he qualified I stayed home, raised my kids and studied too. Now we both work. For our 30th wedding annniversary we will be taking a sabbatical, back to studying in EY for a year! No one knows what the future holds, when we first married and he was a ” learner” I used to tutor at home to pay bills as I raised my babies. Life gives you lots of challenges but opportunities too!

Of course people from out of town do tend to be polite the world over when compared to city dwellers, very true. But for me, a timid reserved Londoner, I find New Yorkers just delighful. In fact I find most Americans polite, friendly and smiling. In a busy city it is hard to find time for others, but the New York chein I have come across is intoxicating. I love it when New Yorkers banter and exchange one liners with each other, there is a quick witted humour unique to NY.

One of life’s pleasures is realising othe people have dysfunctional famiies too! Normality is one of those words almost impossible to define, everyone has their own ideas and experiences. We never realise what goes on in other people’s lives, thank goodness! Close those doors!

Ariq, I am sure all of us can identify with your worries and anxiety about your daughter but as is being said on the posts here, it is still very early days.

There was a song in the 1950’s called ” camp granada” where a homesick boy reads out a sad pitiful homesic card to his parents as he sits inside at summer camp on a rainy day, as the sun comes out his mood changes and he ends the card ” kindly disregard this letter” . It is still September and with all the chagim etc it is hard for a young girl to be away, but it is also enriching and beneficial too. I hope soon she will settle, it is natural for kids to unburden themselves only to feel better in a short time. Be strong and try and think positive, of course a sem in NY sounds great, but to be in Eretz Yisrael is an experience second to none she may well thank you for later on!

Gosh the fees quoted for American Jewish education is really an eyeopener!!!

Here in the UK we have religious schools where the state pays for secular education and we as parents pay for Kodesh by

” voluntary contributions” Average term is around 600 to 1000 dollars, obviously there are some parents who do not pay as it is ” voluntary” and not legally enforceable, but on the whole these establishments are well run and actually growing in number with apparently 50% of Jewish children under 11 attending a Jewish day school. Is it not possible to introduce the idea in the USA, whereby parents pay for Kodesh and the state, be it local or central govt pays for chol?

Middlepath I really enjoy reading your posts and must say it would be sad if you left the CR as your views and ideas are needed and valued. The appeal of the CR is the fact it is a forum for debate between different types of Jew. I too do get sometimes upset as I read things I vehemently disagree with or at times feel may even be counter to my cherished view of Yiddishkeit, I am a firm believer in loving all of Klal Yisrael, not through rose tinted glasses but from a sense of belonging, history and emunah, our history has never been easy, so many different experiences and traditions, not to mention cultural and political influences along the way. If you can face it, stand your ground it will make you stronger as you learn you can and should express yourself. Sometimes my words are moderated, it is fine and makes me determind to be careful but truthful with my language, perhaps learning to rephrase things in a diplomatic omanner. I am really new to the CR, but have been reading the interesting comments for quite a while, eventually I couldn’t resist joining in with posts myself.

I am sorry you are upset and I can understand why you text, it is a cost effective and time effective way of communicating with friends etc. You also mention ” thats why its addictive” and therein lies the problem! All too often many young people spend hours on the mobile texting, even in class or at the dinner table. I find that rude and unacceptable, unless there is an urgetn matter to attend to there is no excuse for gazing at a phone during a lecture or meal. Lots of people do it, all the time! On Tisha B’av I was taken aback by the number of people listening to a moving talk, and then peeping a their mobiles. It is their choice to do that, not mine, but it is disconerting to see people of all ages checking and texting during meetings etc. As a mother I have told my kids never ever take the phone out and check or send texts, in class or any social gatherings unlesss truly urgent. I know texting is fun and easy, but we often text to our friends throughout the day, and maybe do not pay attention to our surroundings or families. When I teach I always ask my students to turn their phones off, not on silent! Sorry you feel upset, but try and understand it is not easy being a parent and trying to show a kid you love the benefits of moderation.

As a proud grandmother visiting her family in Ramat Beit Shemesh I am sad to hear of people being taken aback by the tznius of others in the area. Many of us support, love and nuture families there. Believe me in the big bad world there are many obstacles we have to overcome, please fixtheworld do not worry too much about grandmothers who may not fulfill your own ideals of tznius. Yes tznius is very important, I have Rabbi Falk’s book right here!!! But minhagim play a role in how we dress and so does age!! Many sections of Rabbi Falk book are of especial relevance to Gateshead, what is acceptable there is not the same as Eretz Yisrael as Rabbi Falk himself recognises. He emphasises communities have their own minhagim. I often note the younger kids and mothers are dressed tzniusdik with tremendous care and attention, great. However as an older woman our teachings and customs tend to be different, look around at any simcha or big event where extended families get together!! Some wear denim, some do not, some use headscarves to cover their hair, others stick to sheitels, all to me are klal Yisrael and loved in their entirety. Tznius is a fascinating subject but of all the obstacles in life it is one that can be dealt with by focussing on oneself and not paying too much attention to those around who we can see are seeking in their own way to tznius. Sensitivity and respect go a long way!!!

We try and keep it short and sweet when a date comes to pick up our girls. Later on if we can see they get on well together then we do all we can to fit in, discreetly! For me as a mother the most important thing is seeing a good ” chemistry” between my child and his/her date. If they are happy we are happy, we do not want anyone to fit in with us! Why? We are not marrying them, an individual who we nurtured but do not own is marrying them, therefore it is important they get on! Already we have a litvish son in law, and a happy new family of relations. Nothing beats the nachas of seeing your child happy!

Germany is a sophisticated country and the frum community is growig there after the influx of Jews from the former Soviet Union. I was sent by company to work there while ago, everyone was very polite and charming to , BUT a couple of times people didn’t realise i was Jewish and then spoke about Jews, Israel and so on in very different tones. I think it a shame when the world is so big and beautiful that we end up rebuilding communities there. We seem to have very short memories. The pro-Palestinian lobby is very strong in Germany, and of course whilst Germans are publically apologetic about their history in public, we should remember it is a public offence to deny the holocaust or appear openly pro Nazi. Remember post World War 2 US dollars rebuilt Germany and people learn quickly how to behave.

No one naively worships the state, we just want it to stay alive. With life comes hope, teshuva and change, look at the growing numbes of Torah fearing Jews in Israel, even Netanyahu’s own family!

The degree of hate towards the state is frightening, not least because it involves an ability to ignore the dependency of large sectioNs of the community on state benefits and protection whilst demonising it beyond belief. Sure there are secular radicals who despise all that is Torah true, but there are many sincere Torah fearing Jews serving in the state. Modertor 80 may I ask why we cannot have a ” proud and safe independent nation” of our own, repeating oft told stories about secular leaders mocking the Torah serves to smokescreen the reality of our situation. Israel is a nation under threat

It is very hard for Israelis who are Torah fearing Jews and send their sons to do their duty and see those that will not serve, but are happy to be protected. THis is not Tsarist Russian where jews avoided the draft, this is Eretz Yisrael. We are protecting our holy places. Life is not perfect, if you want autonomy, do not depend on others, that is not Judaism, that is parastic. No one says the state is perfect but it exists and it protects even YOU.

Gosh the influence of YWN CR is far reaching indeed! Right over in rainy old England

Just opened door to a lovely girl back from a date in stockinged feet, she had been struggling with a pair of heels and eventually had to take them off ! the sweet boy who took her out, kindly lent her his little sister’s sneakers which were sitting in a sports bag in the back of his mother’s car. Great ice breaker !

Thanks for your postings Sam2

Personally I could not take from anyone I did not recognise and tolerate. I would not expect financial, educational, health services and least of all national security. Of course Israel has problems, but how can one expect to take and not give back a fair share. Nahal Haredi are a fine example.

Serving in the Israeli Army is not about agreeing with the secular policies and lifesttyle followied by others or the state itself. It is about defending your own people and existence. Without Israeli soldiers to defend us, where would our EY yeshivas and kollels be not to mention our dear precious Torah true communities. We are part of klaa Yisrael, total agreement is a luxury we have never tragically known as a people, but we have always had a Jewish Army with clear halachot on how that army should conduct itself.

A midwife is not just an appropriate course of study for a bais yaakov graduate, it is surely a noble profession for a jewish woman. What a privilege to help and support new mothers and newborns.