someoneMe2

Original zionism died during the first intifada. There are still a few random holdouts of the original zionism, mostly in America, but there is also one island and the vatican where latin is still a spoken language. Zionism – as per the original form that would cut off the payos of Teimani children and Holocaust survivors – died. Even the current attempt to wage war on Torah is weak and bears very little support beyond the politicians who initiated it. That’s why all the political parties suddenly feel that they need to dissociate from it – their constituents didn’t like it and felt it was unproductive.

Torah is winning, if we keep fighting it can’t be that much longer before we win entirely.

The vast majority of american citizens I’ve met speak at least one other language. If you are referring exclusively to WASPS, then perhaps you might be correct in saying that americans don’t know other languages, but in case you haven’t noticed, the majority of americans aren’t even white, and the majority of non-white americans speak other languages. Add to that the european immigrants who are white, the random white people who speak other languages, and frum Jews and guess what – most americans speak another language besides for english.

You don’t have to be Jewish to address your yearning for spirituality. Hashem rules over the entire world, whether you are Jewish or not. Why not just keep the 7 laws of B’nei Noach and not worry about offending your family? They even have a whole community of b’nei noach somewhere in Texas that you could join and probably find someone to marry. If you become Jewish, it’s not all gonna just fall into place. We’re required to always grow and you will be tested to help you achieve this growth your entire life. That is true both to converts and to Jews from birth. You’re not Jewish. You don’t have to become Jewish. Make sure that you really want it before you do it, because there’s no backing out later.

Siyag: I’m sorry that I made you feel bad. You don’t sound like the people I have a big problem with, so let me just clarify quickly. I know that it can be difficult to deal with people who are operating on an entirely different preception of the world than you are (I’ve been trying to figure that one out myself most of my life). I know that I myself have done things that were both dangerous and harmful in my life, and, at this point, I can appreciate how hard that must have been for my parents/teachers. Honestly, at the time I felt like I was in jail – like the only way to deal with, and get out of the torture of sensory and interaction overload was to react in sometimes extreme and harmful ways. Sometimes I would have such a strong interest in figuring something out that I would pursue it without thinking for a second how it might effect other people. Although my brother and I both become very anxious over things like table settings that are off center, that was never something that would lead to such an outburst for me. We both tended to just walk into the room and re-arrange, and my parents basically ignored it.

What I do have a problem with is the people who react to someone, particularly high functioning, on the specturm by trying to put them away in the ‘special education’ box. Many of us are very bright, and if we have learned to function without being a danger to ourselves and others, I do think it is the responsibility of teachers and parents and administrators to create an atmosphere in their schools were, if someone is a bit socially different, that’s okay – people can accept that, and teacher can deal with the occasional setbacks that might come from having these kids in their class. They’re just kids trying to do the best they can – and I wish that schools could make a bit more room in their classrooms and cultures to accomodate them. Many could grow up to make wonderful contributions to our society if society will accept them and not try and make them ‘normal’ before they’ll have a place.

What you are talking about seems to be a bit further down the specturm than what I described above. Clearly having an aggressive or self injurious individual in a regular classroom of 20+ kids isn’t a good idea. In reference to what you said, I have three things to say in response:

1) I don’t know the kids to whom you are referring. Therefore, I can’t possibly know exactly what the answer is to how you should deal with them.

2) What I have found for myself is that, where I used to engage in what might be considered SIBs, I found that the only way I could stop doing so was when I had something to do instead that could give me the same relief. That is where what I said about stimming above comes in. I don’t think you can take stimming away from most ASD people anymore than you can take talking away from ‘regular’ people without making them crazy. You therefore have to find stims that are socially appropriate (and safe!)and teach them as a replacement behavior (methods of teaching would vary depending on how high functioning the individual is – could just be suggesting, may also be DRA type of ABA program). I have found that in general, pen chewing, chewing gum, sucking on candy, swaying from foot to foot, shokeling when a book is opened in front of you, don’t get alot of comments and are certainly not harmful. Another thing that sometimes works to relieve stress is focusing all of your attention on one small subject or detail and tuning everything else out. It gives your brain time to cool off after trying to over-process, but most autistic people know that already.

3) One thing I notice, thinking back to all of the strange things (and occasionaly dangerous) that I have done over the course of my life thus far, is the fact that my parents somehow almost never yelled at me or lost their temper. Granted most people probably couldn’t do that, but they could. I remember one time wanting to know something about how rain flows down a hill, so in the middle of a thuderstorm I left the house and sat under a tree watching it (for a long time). When I came back home, my parents very calmly asked me where I had been, then explained to me that sitting under a tree during a thudnerstorm is dangerous (and exactly why it is), and told me that next time I should go on the porch and tell them first because they had been very worried and had almost called the police, because they didn’t know where I was. It took me time to adjust to their instructions, but they would just keep repeating them, always calmly, until I got it. I recently asked my father why he didn’t get upset/punish, etc. He told me that he figured that what I had done was already done, and there was no point in getting upset with it anymore. He knew that I hadn’t done it to make him upset, so he simply redirected me so I would know for next time.

I don’t know if that would work for everyone. There are some things that they had to repeat for years and years, and for which I sometimes had to suffer the natrual consequences because my parents didn’t create artificial ones. But in the end it both worked and gave me alot more independence and understanding for why I should and shouldn’t do things than didactic and disconnected rewards and punishments would have.

I wouldn’t want it featured in a magazine. I find that magazines tend to do a bad job on these types of things anyway.

I would not venture to speak on anyone else’s behalf, since really, all people, ASD or not are different, but consider the following:

I have tremendous difficulty understanding other people’s intentions when they talk to me. Include sarcasm and, even thought it’s been explained to me many times, I don’t catch it unless you tell me that’s what you’re doing. I also have trouble processing sensory things, especially noise. Sometimes the noise that is overwhelming me might not even be something you can hear.

When I was much younger, I used to have outbursts when things like that happened. I would think people were attacking me (I have no idea if they really were, but based on what I have learned since then about how people socialize, I doubt they always were), or the sensory environment would be driving me crazy and I wasn’t able to deal with it. When I could, I would run away and hide. When I couldn’t, I’d attack my environment, which probably scared many people around me, but in that state of mind I wasn’t able to think clearly about that.

I learned over the years to ask people to clarify what they meant when I don’t understand the implications of what they say. Some people are mean about it and proceed to make fun of me, some just explain it. To those in the former group, it is very hard for me to get past it, but I work on it, because I now understand that your world looks completely different than mine, and in your state of mind someone asking for clarification on such basic statements seems weird and disconcerting.

I also have learned that what you refer to as stimming can help me calm down and avoid getting to the point where I’m so overwhelmed that I can’t even think clearly anymore. I try to do so in a socially appropriate manner – you know, chewing on pens or gum, pacing, etc. If I need to stim in a more obvious way, I go someplace private. But those who would like to fix me say this is inappropriate. To them I would ask, what should I do? I try to avoid situations and people that will make me overwhelmed, but sometimes I can’t if I want to live a functional life. When I become completely overwhelmed, I cannot function. I know that non-autistic people think that if I talk about what’s bothering me I won’t need to stim, but talking when I’m overwhelmed almost always makes things worse, not better.

Most people who did not know me when I was younger do not think I’m on the spectrum, and I generally don’t tell them. they simply think I’m a bit weird, quirky and hyper, so let me ask you, all you people out there who think that everything autistic is terrible and will keep a person from living functionally – if an autistic person can learn to function in a manner that doesn’t harm others and allows them a decent amount of independence, why do you get caught on things like avoiding crowds, chewing pens and asking blunt, straightforward questions? I’m all for teaching people like me social skills. I’d be lost if no one had taught me, but once we’ve learned to interact, is it really so terrible if we’re not all exactly alike? Why do you get angry and punish us when you don’t really even know what is going on inside us?