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Sam2- that is what I meant buy going too far. marrying a non Jewish woman or even moving in with a non Jewish woman with an agreement (even de facto) of being in a “permanent” live in relationship. It was just too hard to write it out so I said “going too far”. If one marries out then one is supposed to sit Shiva. I heard this psak from a few Gedolim who were issuing the ruling as Halacha Lmaaseh
Naftush- One can set up a trust in US law and stipulate whatever he wishes… he can say that the money can only be used to buy cars for people with blue eyes. He can stipulate that only college grads can benefit form this trust and he can stipulate that only Shomrei Torah Umitzvos can benefit. It is not regulating from the grave. It is a valid legal trust with specific structure and direction.
In halacha one can give a conditional gift and so one can say that they give child x 100G if he keeps Toarh and Mtzvos (req definition) for 3 years…….. or whatever.
What about the idea of dividing the inheritance but putting the share of the one who is OTD in a trust with clear stipulations as to what type of lifestyle over how long a period of time would free the money to him? Or what about leaving it in a trust to be divided amngst HIS cghildren if they become Shomrei Torah Umitzvos?
RE: Cutting off- The one who is OTD did the cutting,not the parent who does not want to give a big yerusha. We can love the child or adult who has dumped our lifestyle, beliefs, tradition and history a deeep and real love, but we need not approve of their chosen lifestyle and if the de facto result of THEM cutting the string is a loss of inheritance, who did the cutting?
BTW, if one goes too far, are you aware that parents may be obligated to sit Shiva?? Obviously Halcha feels that at some point cutting ties is really pretty serious business.
When people come to a Rav it is important that they agree to either stay togehter or break up , whichever, but that it will be done in an amicable manner. Nothing is gained by getting an army of friends and relatives involved. Nothing is gained by sharing private details with a curious group of friends. The developmental health of the children and the effect on their perception of a relationship needs to override personal vendettas and ta’anos. If it is to stay together it needs to be Bishalaom. But even if it splits it needs to be Bishalom. They will one day want to be at the chassunos of children, simchos of grandchildren… thre is no place for overt animosity and hatred.
They are not exempt from the Mitzvah of Viahavta or of greeting people with a kind face. It may be hard.. sometimes avodas Hashem is that way. But we can live up to tall expectations.
Why leave money to a child who is otd and possibly encourage or entice him to even gretaer diregard for Hashem and His Torah, spirituality and his own individual tachlis? More taava, more hedonism, more sensory existence. why would a parent want to give that child even more nisyonos?
Rav Pam restored harmony to more marriages than most therapists do in 2 lifetimes. Rav Pam also guided some Talmidim in that haskafa and skill. And good therapists are still great!
Sorce is goyish. tehy all leave the church after the ceremony in a limo. Purely non Jewish source. Collecting $$$$ should be left for inyanei Tzedakah and lets not make this into a “dei machsoro” issue!
Excess $$$$? Tons of needy legitimate open hands….. much bigger zechus for chosson and kallah!
Bluris is a chup
He has a greater degree of deep ahavas Yisroel and ahavas habriyis than the rest of the world combined.
And there you have a chance to dven with the Stoliner Rebbe and his Bais Medrash and experience Tfillah like never before. Let the soul be ignited!
Some Rabbanim can and should. others cannot and should not.
One advantage that rabbanim can have is that they are not governed or possibly limited by APA-LSW rules and guidelines.
The perpose of a watch is to tell time accurtely. Get one that does and give the rest to your kids as incentives for limud HaTorah!
My timex is over 10 years old and still ticking! So are my kids Yiddishkeit
Instead pray you should have enough Parnassah to help them as well.
Or daven they should find a BIG donor to take the pressure off. Why daven for them NOT to succeed just to get them off your back. Use your emotions to daven for them to be matzliach and not need you anymore!?
Learn Shaar Habitachon of Chovos Halevavos and define your level, live appropriately and work on raising the level. That’s why he wrote it!
Every second is a fulfillment of a Mitzvah D’Oraysa. The Tzitzis themselves have no Kedusha as we see we can take them into a bathroom, unlike Tfillin or a sefer Torah. If so, what’s the problem with having a “shvitzy” pair and washing it like we do to our T shirts and sports clothing?
The Gra lamented on is deathbed that here we can fulfill Tzizis for a few kopeks and in the next world we cannot add one Mitzvah for all the money in the world. While alive we can…….. should’t we?
To all who want to stop the calls. If you were running a necessary valuable organization, mossad, service etc. and needed to fund a budget, how would you propose to go about it without coming on to the most naturally charitable sensitive giving caring Baalei Chessed in the world whose coreligionists are the beneficiaries??
Welcome!
1- how long were you otd?
2- What inspired your return, emptiness of the outside world? Richness of Yiddishkeit?
3- In what way are you different now?
4- Are you concerned that once tried, it can happen again?
Looking forward!
Silbigers (btwn 17 and 18 ave on 51 st in Bklyn) has them.
Is it time to be machmir on feeling loss of Batei Mikdash and show Hashem how much we miss it and need it. If we look for leniences in music or in aveilus in general we will not feel the loss as intensely and cannot cry or mourn or beg for what is missing with the same depth. Small things DO make a difference!
Even if the Rebbe/ Morah/Teacher/Rav say OK, please write out what you want to say and don’t use “text abbreviated language”. Speak in writing. Great not gr8, by the way and not btw, for you and not 4u……..
Chocolate??? Flavored with liquor??
Just kidding………….
Some say KVH on Kellogs is only reliable for non flavored cereals such as Corn Flakes, rice krispies, raisin bran and frosted flakes. Colored flavored relies on heterim not acceptable to all. Check it out
Deaf?? How did the ears become deaf?
Mayan -True, but I would not want them to generalize and brush all Bnei Yeshiva with a broad stroke of drunkenness or lack of responsibility. The overwhelming vast majority are not abusing alcohol(or internet or drugs). There are thousands of solid Bnai Torah who are really living up to the title. I would hate that some impressionable girl be turned off by an unfortunate sight (ugh!) of a minority occurrence.
Yes, “I made up a saying” Kedusha Bagoyim AL TAAMIN!
The Maharal and Shelah explain that one of the underlying reasons of the statement TORAH BAGOYIM AL TAAMIN is because they have no connection to Kedusha. Pure chol Hamavdil bain Kodesh Lchol ….. bai Yisroel Laamim. The difference between us is evident and blatant and we need to strengthen the greatness of Kedusha otherwise we fall to……
So, Kedusha Bagoyim AL TAAMIN! is an idea which exists……… THAT I did not make uop. Finally, is the “nice vort” incorrect? That is the ikar of the message! Or are you just correctly noticing that the accuracy of the “quote-non quote” is incorrect?
Chochma bagoyim Taamin. Kedusha Bagoyim AL TAAMIN!
(If someone tells you that non jews have wisdom, that can be believed. BUT THEY have no connection to kedusha!!!)
Let’s keep the night of Kiddushin filled with Kedusha!
At least on this MOtzai Yom Kippur of theirs where they are given entry into the yichud of the Kodesh Kodashim, we should keep it filled with Nigunei Simcha of Kedusha!
In my apt. house in Yerushalayim a few blocks from a major yeshiva there are 3 dirahs rented to Bachurim form that Yeshiva. Every Shabbos morning when I leave at about 6:30 am to go daven, there are always 2 or 3 bachurim who all week long are wonderful, respectful seemingly well adjusted bachurim, but they get drunk on Leil Shabbos to the point where they cannot climb the steps to the dirah and they are sprawled in a corner of the entrance lobby. Yes, it’s nice they did not take the elevator on Shabbos………… but is this Torah? Is this what we have come to?? Should we condone or excuse this bahavior?
I do try to wake them up and help them upstairs because it is certainly not going to increase Kavod HaTorah if some Baal habatim, their wives and kal vachomer their daughters witness the scene as they leave for shule.
Great idea….. the night of kedusha and kiddushin and tahara and yichud wiht all its meanings and we introduce the Chosson and Kallah with secular movie theme songs. The neshamos of the previous doros of family who come to the Chassunah must be thrilled! The neshamos of the living must be overjoyed! Just like the music from Gan Eden.
The Gemara does suggest “yivdok biacheha: check out her brothers because children are frequently similar to the brothers of the mother.
Sam 2- “idiocy”? I won’t insult in return
YIT- Flavored coffee can be treif even if it does not taste like meat
In addition,to rely on the the heter of taam pagum because there is soap being used when the coffee carafes are washed….. sometimes with real treif and sometimes with flavored treif- is relying on leniences and should not be done “lachatchila”. It could be they soak or pour very hot water before using soap. Is there a universal wahing system..?? Do we KNOW what is done and how it is done?
BTW, Thermoses for travel are not so expensive.
Think of Ner Yisroel Baltimore and U of Maryoand, Hopkins or other great options. Eclectic chevra, massive gentle slid shiurim and Rabbaim, great facility, ability to immerse without distraction, and almost 2.5 times the scheduled # of learning hours over many other options…… 7 days a week, 42 weeks a year, 2 or 3 sedorimm a day……… reach for higher. Talmud Torah intense pounding plus earning a degree.
Solid citizens come form there………
I have been involved in cases in which ONLY because of the prenup did the husband even show up to Bais Din…………
My Rabbaim have told me that mesh is a problem and would be a problem no matter what material it is made of. Why? Because the definition or condition of being a beged is that one would wear this type of material in public and not be embarrassed. That means even if you were covered from head to foot with nothing but clothing made from this material, if the material itself does not provide the covering which would enable one to comfortable walk amongst “normal” people then it is not a beged. No one would wear an entire garment made from see through material and walk in a Torahdiker neighborhood.
Why can’t we make believe that we cannot access that info and get the info the same way hundreds did years ago…… Mds, friends and public info. It could still work.
The Baal Hatnya says that once in a while it is oK to daven with a fast minyan…… and finish in only 90 minutes! So… go ahead!
It is tremendous. ans if it causes a fractional delay to your requests, contemplate ho many issurim you avoided and by the time you have begun thinking your page will have loaded.
Daven hard for Hashem to send you the right shaliach! If it is with the right intent and with pure objectivity in seeing solutions, you should find solutions on the way.
There is a great english Halacha book on Maaser. It has a chapter on it
Mechira of bliah is only a chumrah. It should be batul by itself jsut like crumbs. Enjoy the cholent!
Learn a kapitel at time with meforshim .. take your own notes…and then say it… one kappitel a week and in a 2 year period you will be davening for real!
Good Job!
New Style and Jewish? Is that conjunctive or additive?
How about some return to lighting up the soul….. the inner- upper neshama?
1- Know that it has nothing to do with you. you are not at fault and there should be no guilt
2- Put his name in teh Bracha of Refainu because he needs a refuas hanefesh. that will reinforce within you that he is not well……. a ruach shtus has entered and needs to be dealt with by THE ROFEH!
3- Find a warm caring private understanding person to talk to so you can vent without causing your parents more pain.
jbaldy- 1- But if I am purchasing a CD with the intellectual property embedded and the seller posits that the CD be used in a certain way and not be used in a a certain way, doesn’t that tnai bind the purchaser to the limited use of the CD itself?
2- Theoretically, can one walk into a store, take the music CD which is playing, put it on his laptop, copy and put it back in the demo unit?
3- Any reply to the Vahavta Lirayacha issue? Would you go in front of a singer, borrow a CD of that singer from a friend and copy it then and there?
If not, why not? Just feeling!
Yitayningwut- They did not! They said the young people want it and even did not listen to the parents of Chosson Kallah.
No, the parents did not pay in full. They cut it short because of the breach, but they did not bounce it because the Chuppah and first half was nice.
The one who booked for them said he would not deal with them again. Facts, not opinion. Ludicrous? Yes! And you only get married once, so go with the odds of those who have not breached and who don’t do what THEY want! I went over after they did notlisten to the parents.
BatS- I have heard that form rav Belsky as well. Add my own 2 cents.
Vahavta Lrayacha…….. if you would have invested 50-60G to produce a CD……. if you would have invested hundreds of hours producing music for the Tzibbur… would you be happy/agree/ want people to buy it or copy it? Gotta feel for another Yid! No?
Moreover in Halcha if the purchase was made on condition that it not be copied under any circumstance , and by buying you tacitly agree to the terms, is it then permitted to violate the conditions or close you eye when someone borrows it to copy?
While the chochmas HaTorah may be public, the CD with all its search, copy, features is not Torah itself.
Second, if it is bought with conditions attached we MUST adhere to those conditions.. it is like a tnai in the sale.
Can it have something to do with the teachers in BY being women and our nashim really cannot be away from the house 6 days a week?
We cannot expect nashim to do Shabbos prep and Motzai Shabbos cleanup and THEN put in 1or2 hours prep and THEN be in school with ahava and patience, with professionally prepared classes…… all day Sunday.
Still in Rehab. doing well very slowly. Has received some private visitors, but far from ready for public involvement. Daven more deeply.
YW- email was never an issue.. it is unfiltered internet that makes internet risky. One can have email without www access.