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xbp: First, you should just know that many (if not most) people have low self esteem. You are very normal, and dont forget that.
Fake it till you make it. If now the confidence is not real, then act like its there, always. When you’re with friends, with your family, and even by yourself.
Is there a grandparent/older neighbor/relative who you can talk to? I don’t mean to bare your soul, but just talk about anything. The weather, school, clothing. I talk from personal experience. Theres someone I try to call even just to wish a good Shabbos. The conversations are rarely longer than five minutes and I always feel like a million bucks when I get off the phone. Theres no room for low self esteem when you feel like you made someones day.
Remember your the child of Hashem!! Of course you’re an amazing person! You’re his CHILD!!! Like I once heard “remember you’re important, cuz G-d don’t make junk!” So true.
As BP Totty said, come to the CR. Anonymity makes people feel comfortable. Even for the shy folk.
🙂
Of course! Proud to be your server. Take your pick:
OMG I feel so honored! (Shall I bother asking if this has anything to do with my former queen status?)
And I chose the first one cuz it looked much more exciting. It was delish!! Thanks!
Now how about some of the real thing?
blinky: yes, that sounds perfect! (just tell me it’ll be real ice cream!)
Wolf, lol! The same thing happened to me once. A woman Mrs. Mashiach called for someone, had it not been for the caller ID, I’m not sure I would have believed her.
blinky, agreed. I think there needs to be free ice cream for people who post more than a certain amount of times (and show their devotion to ice cream).
fave flavor- cookie dough (or if necessary cookies and cream. But its not half as good) and blinky you’re losing out on not trying it…
worst flavor- a fruity ice cream. Fruit is fruit and ice cream is ice cream. But a good fruit sorbet is always good.
Does Max and Mina’s have earwax flavor?
Yes, right near the vomit style ice cream.
So wolf- HOW do you tell good shabbos to everyone?
I pass 3 people every 3 inches. I would look quite unstable if I would keep turning my head left and right distributing good shabbos greetings.
I dont go out all the often on Shabbos, but when I do I make it a point to wish everyone (women) a good Shabbos. I think its basic decency and I dont see any reason not to. Plus, all those startled faces make for great entertainment. 😉
As for the “unstable” part, I think a person who does not wish people a good Shabbos has more votes in the unstable category than one who does. And I think it is downright embarrassing not to do something as simple as that. JMO.
Gives new meaning to the question “who are we having for dinner tonight?”
Is POY still in existence? That was hysterical!
You can contact me through a mod for (starter) info about lake george.
Halacha doesnt change if its a diffrent time or place. If it was assur then then its assur now.
Unless I’m wrong, Halacha clearly says that a persons going out to earn a parnassah is not bittul Torah. That being said, if a person will not be able to earn a parnassah without basic knowledge in a certain area, then how is the person supposed to go earn a parnassah? As good as it may seem, its not practical nor realistic for everyone to be a Rav/Rebbe. Where is the rest of the money supposed to come from? Without some people who went to college (of course assur) most Yeshivas would be closed withing a few weeks.
sephardic.chabadnick: I really dont think I can give you much practical help, but one thing that might be of help to you is to contact a Rabbi even out of your city. Maybe even one across the globe. It seems to me that often, people in (for lack of a better word) “leading” positions, often have many contacts which might be of help to you. Basically what I’m saying is that wherever you feel comfortable doing so, get the word out that you need help in this area. Dont give up because people dont seem interested. Hashem is running things, no one else.
I can only imagine what pleasure you are giving to Hashem by going out so far for your daughter.
Its probably hardest on the wife (JMO) since she will be the one cooking foods she isnt used to, and getting used to Minhagim she isnt used to. That being said, I do know of several people who have done this and are very happy. I even know of one person who looks for a “mixed” shidduch specifically for his kids. (All of whom are B”H happily married).
sephardic.chabadnick: My heart goes out to you. Right now, you might feel like you’re stuck in a box with no way to move. Much of what I would have said was said above by philosopher. Feel free to ignore my suggestions, I’ll try to be generic, since I dont know the specific specifics of your life.
1. If moving to a different community is at all possible, then think about it. Its a terribly sad fact that not every Jew is as perfect or as good as we might like them to be, and also sad that you may have been exposed to some people who are “still in training”. Do research, speak to community Rabbis, call people in community centers but it might be worth your while to walk in somewhere with a fresh start for both you and them.
2. Choose one part of your relationship with Hashem and give it your all. Dont skimp on anything. Every day, take one paragraph of Tefillah, a chapter of Tehillim, a bracha, or even just in your own words. And tell Hashem whats in your heart. Not because people might be watching, but the real thing.
Remember, “Shivisi Hashem L’negdi Samid” means that Hashem is always in front of you. It not only means that a person should distance themselves from sin, but exactly what it says, Hashem is always in front of you. You! He doesn’t leave to deal with someone elses problem, He’s all yours. Use the oppurtunity. Tell Him exactly how you feel. I promise, He’s listening.
May Hashem bless you with peace of mind, and happiness through every journey life takes you through.
P.S. please keep commenting here, I know I for one, (and I’m sure many other people) care to know how everything is going. Please keep us updated.
🙂
Finally, he secured an interview and needless to say, he was trying his best to impress. The interviewer said, “In this job Chaim Yankel, we need someone who is responsible.”
“I’m the one you want,” Chaim Yankel replied. “At my last job every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
Thanks for the great list, unfortunately, most of these people won’t give you the time of day, if you don’t have the right “name, yichus, or bank account”.(with emphasis on bank account)
Dont give up that easily. If shadchan wont “give you the time of day” then chances are your bashert will be from the same category so that sort of shadchan probably wont be of much help to you. Remember you only need one.
Hatzlacha!
A tzarah is what you make of it. Rather than “nebech” people for having them, I think theres more reason to “nebech” them for not having them. When Hashem sends a package, sometimes people forget to look at the card and they lose out on the extra present. Maybe the contents of the package wasnt exactly what you wanted, but now the power of Tefilla that you have is so much strengthened. And dont forget it. Specifically now, Hashem is keeping an extra close watch. This is proof of Hashems love for you, look at what kind of relationship He wants. Not just a simple, “regular” one, a solid, strong one!! He didnt choose a neighbor, a friend… He chose you! If that isnt proof what kind of person you are, I’m not quite sure what would be. Hashem, who created the world, and runs the world every single day, sent you a present! No, not a present that you might ask for, but once you have it, you will milk it for what its worth. Remember, “If Hashem brought you to it, he can get you through it. Hes the one who created this, and Hes the one whos orchestrating everything, so yes, of course He will help you through it.
Right now, you are more important to Hashem than anything. Dont forget that.
May Hashem grant a Refuah Shelaimah to whoever needs one.
I’m not sure if killing someone, or eating ham, and (l’havdil) wanting Mashiach can be compared.
2 – not sure why, but the sudden weight loss (and I mean sudden, as in a 2 months) throws a person’s whole physical system out of whack and they look pale / yellow / gaunt / glassy eyed. Can’t really nail it down, but they just don’t look healthy and robust.
Interesting you say that, I just heard today that people who have the surgery often cant get the amount of nutrients they need (from supplements) and it often leads to them looking pale etc.
Just an idea but is it possible that now there are just much easier forms to spread them? Email and public forums make it much easier to get the word out.
As an aside, if it is true that there are more rumors, (not saying yes or no), I think it really goes to show that even though some people may build beautiful houses and take exotic vacations, deep down we are all desperate for the geulah.
blinky
Member
I think the reason you put it on your pockets is for gelt!
I once heard that someone would actually pour the wine into his pockets. Apparently it was a segulah for parnassah for the cleaners.
😉
Sorry, but if they are just among women and VERY young boys, I don’t see a problem. Why shouldn’t a woman wear a two-piece suit if she wants to swim in one, and why should she not tan in a bathing suit (what was the pardon me for – is there something wrong with the words “bathing suit?”) ? I can understand the idea of needing to be tzniusdig when men are around, but there is no issur on women seeing other women dressed less formally when there are NO men present. And trying to make it somehow appear to be untzniusdig does not make it so.
Sorry, don’t agree. Tznius, (as most things,) is made up of both the letter of the law and the spirit of the law. While wearing a two piece around women may not be a problem according to halacha, (and that would be for “regular” frum people, not someone whos going from a public beach to a shaitel) IMO, its not really (for lack of a better word) promoting it either. What may be for the rest of the world, is not necessarily for us. I once heard that if theres ever a question about tznius, one should ask themselves if Mashiach were to come while they were wearing it, if they would be proud of themselves. How many people would be proud to greet Mashiach in a two piece bathing suit?
Some frum clothing stores have public dressing rooms, and the way I see it, it sort of defeats the purpose. Have people try on tznius clothing in a non-tznius manner?!
I’m gonna add my two sense in a place where I shouldn’t but I do remember hearing that if someone is listening to the news and there is background music of some sort, its not a problem. (I would think because no one turns on the news to listen to the music in the background.)
Good Shabbos everyone!
If I can veer off the topic slightly, (and this is a sincere question) who determines what lavish is? Does lavish mean having a car at all, having an old car which breaks down more often than it runs but its still a car, leasing a (newish) car, or owning a (newish) car? Does it mean going to the mountains for the summer, going to Eretz Yisrael once a year, or going to Europe once a year? Does it mean going out to eat (nice restaurant) once a week, or going out for pizza once a week?
I once heard that in order to prepare for a fast day and keep oneself well hydrated, drink more than usual as much as a week before the fast. I’ve also heard that powerade is good to have before a fast.
On the actual fast, limit physical activity as much as possible (a fast day is not the day to be working out. Not physically or spiritually) and try to keep in a cool area as much as you can. Specifically for Tisha B’av, try to listen to a shiur to keep your mind off the fasting. There are probably things available online.
If her parents cant support her and they wont let her go to college, then wouldnt that mean they want her to marry someone with a parnassa?
Does somewhat actively count?
I know there are some seminaries that want everyone on a certain network so in case of an emergency they could send out a text to everyone at once, so before renting anything look into it.
mosherose, whoever said anything about TV? Staying home simply means no camp. One summer I stayed home and for the bulk of it, I helped out someone I knew who needed it. That probably did me a lot better than any camp could.
If the child is smart he/she will still be the top of the class, even if pushed ahead.
Agreed. I have two classmates who skipped a grade into my grade, they both remained at the top of the class. IMO, age and a childs performance in a classroom have nothing to do with each other, in general (That being said, I have seen in a few cases where, in pre school, a child was physically incapable of keeping up with the class. He needed more rest time, took him longer to do things. As he got older, it went away.)
How did a thread about vacations turn into a thread on halacha?
Because some people think halacha takes a vacation when they do.
No, that’s not true. The reason this thread became about halacha was because one poster decided that something I did on vacation was against halacha when it clearly is not.
In any case, my point was to keep the thread what it was, about vacations, and not turn it into halacha (which everyone has different standards of anyway)
How did a thread about vacations turn into a thread on halacha?
Try seltzer or maybe some hot water.
In the yeshivish world it is disrespectful to wear a colord shirt.
Uh, disrespectful to whom, exactly?
Where in the Torah does it say that someone has to wear a white shirt?
hanab, There is a shul in Onset that might be able to give you some info. From what I remember (from a long time ago) there wasn’t a whole lot to do in the area. I’m not sure what its like today.
If this works, http://www.capecodshul.org/
I find the modding in the CR to be pretty good. My issue is that I find sometimes the stories posted on the main page are asking for L”H comments.
mosherose, there is a possibility that the “airline-style” food that may have been tampered with is actually “more kosher” (is that even possible?!) than someone with a small little store where there is less chance for something to get in.
BP Totty, I would say food coloring or a whole lot of fresh herbs maybe I actually remember hearing once that green is a color often used in marketing but its not used in produce or meat. (with good reason)
Dor Yesharim is where hishtadlus comes in. Is it a lack of bitachon to keep ones money in a bank for safety?
mosherose, if someone has the flu, are they doing something assur, because they are really spending time being sick instead of learning or doing chessed etc? Depression is not something one can control, similar to a physical illness. There is a difference between being depressed and being sad. IMO “Mitzvah gedolah…” is talking about being happy vs sad. Nothing about depression.
Interesting that you brought this up now, since I’ve been meaning to do something similar for a while. I’ve been noticing, lately (maybe in the past 8-12 mos) that people, like those who daven in a minyan three times a day, and very frum girls use four letter words without batting an eyelash. Maybe I could understand it if it happened once in a long while, but I’m not so sure thats it. I’m not looking out for bad in people but at some point its too much. In my opinion, Frum Jews are well above unclean language, and doesnt it say one of the reasons we were zoche to Yetzias Mitzrayim was because we didnt change our language? We have to do better.
ehrlicheyid, lol!!!
myfriend, yes d a’s apology is very accepted 🙂
emoticon613, is it possible for her to take up something (anything that would normally keep her out of the house for the amount of time a therapy session would take) and instead go to therapy? I’m not advocating her lying to her parents but if thats the only way…
Also, if you (or another friend who shes close with) would tell her parents, would that make a difference?
d a: lol, I was thinking that when I first read it and somehow I forgot about when I posted it. I do apologize.
Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity.
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It “In.”
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ” For Smuggling Diamonds”
7. Finish All Your sentences with “In Accordance With The Prophecy.”
8 . Don’t use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is “To Go.”
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don’t Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party Because You’re Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream “I Won!, I Won!”
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling “Run For Your Lives, They’re Loose!!”
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. “Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.”
Why would anyone have to know she went to therapy? Is she afraid of the stigma where other people are concerned or is there a pride thing for herself…?
MAybe you are no prize in someone else’s eyes, either.
Where does the maybe come in? If someone would do that, chances are theyre no one most normal people (that would be people who have basic decency) would appreciate being married to.
To add to the party, I too heard that stevia is much healthier than stevia. supposed to say stevia is much healthier than splenda. (sorry!)
FYI, agave nectar is sold in America (I’ve seen it many local stores). Thanks for the lowdown though. (and for the correction)
To add to the party, I too heard that stevia is much healthier than stevia.I think she means “splenda: (you might be able to find it at a Trader Joe’s)
Splenda might not be dangerous (and I’m not saying its not, I really dont know) but its not all that healthy. Its like butter and margarine. While butter is all fat, at least its some form of a natural fat. Margarine is all manufactured and has no nutritional value at all. To add to this, there are definitely people who dont feel well after having splenda (even a small amount, like in coffee) and that does happen for a reason.
mod 80, since you seem to know your stuff on this, any word on agave nectar?
Not to sound like a broken record or anything, but this thread seems to have a big potential for lashon hara. Please be careful
Good point. All submissions to this thread will be carefully screened prior to approval.