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i believe you should wait until you meet them together. then decide once seeing their relationship/and way of communication if it is shayach or not. but I still feel that not talking on 3 of the 4 dates is more than shy and a little weird/perhaps a red flag. I feel that she might be a great girl but isn’t fully set/emotionally comfortable in her belief of chassidus or judiasim or Hashem. but this is all just my opinion.
i really think that kollel and learning is the proper path for a yid, but, when it means starving families, no clothing,no heating ect. its time to end the free-for all- opinion of kollel. kollel shouldn’t equal poverty, but yet since we encourage almost every single bachur(in these types of circles) to live a kollel lifestyle, we end up with many poverty stricken families. every single boy/man should learn, but not full day. only a select should be learning full day. kollel communities should be encouraging halfday work-halfday learn, and only boys who really desire to spend their whole day learning/ a select type of bachurim should be siting in kollel. if their are more people working a few hours a day, their is less money needed to support these families, and their wont be whole communities at poverty level. also, the money raised/miney the yeshiva has for the kollel will only need to be split amongst (ex.)500 families rarher than 100 families. in addition I think rabbanim should strongly encourage a equal(or close to equal) Issachar-zevulan trade rather than thousands of men learning and only tens of people actually supporting(financially)
I really think that (for example) the major rabbanim of Lakewood should really get together and dicuss a more practical plan for the kollel learning lifestyle. yungerman should be able to learn while not allowing these families to hit poverty level(and just live a simple lifestyle)
if the children were being mistreated to the extent of maybe abuse , then ACS must be called ASAP.
the situation that coffee addict describes seems like a family that could just simply use some money for like a “cleaner” home and money to get help watching the children-babysitter.
a cluttered and bedbug filled home isn’t safe nor healthy, therefore something must be done. but, I don’t think the answer is calling ACS. I think that the answer might be a new home(because bedbugs never go away, they just come back), and someone to help run the home and watch the kids.
the most inspirational song for me is olatz by shalsheles! its really makes me think and cry everytime I hear it. also show me the way my michoel pruzansky is great!
thanks, just what I wanted to hear. what if I really want to go to that sem, but my skills are very lacking? will they work with me? thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!
do they keep there dorms open for every Shabbos?
also is there a lot of work/pressure?
I just want to point out some of the issues about listening to non jewish music. before I begin I just want to mention that I am not referring to every singer, but to the majority.
a. MOST secular singers do not have proper morals. they spend there lives singing so they can become celeberties. once gained this title they will use it[title] to do the wrong this. so why should anyone, jewsih or not, want to support(by listening to their music) these singers?
b. these people are not worthy of admiration, but it is assur min hatorah to be admiring goyim. if you listen to non jewsih music, you may come to admire the singer, and this is prohibited.
c. additionally, there really is no reason to have to listen to such music. there is plenty of different types of jewish singers and music. anything and everything in the jewish music world can be found. so y not go and support you fellow jewish brothers and sisters who sing to praise H-shem, and help uplift others, unlike non jewish music, which focuses on physical aspects
lior- I thinkn it has become so common for BY girls to listen to non jewish music, that un fortunately a boy should def ask, but most probably she did listen(maybe not anymore, but in HS) to not jewsih music. and I think he boy has the right to know even before the first date. it shows something about a girl, that a boy should know before even begin to date her.
not only does sem matter, but also HS! and that’s crazy bc there r plenty of great girls who didn’t go to a good sem/too modern and then became frummer. those girls are just as worth it as the other girls. also I think it is very unfortunate that plenty of great boys get married to girls who did bad things (like listen to non jewish music) in HS (or sometimes sem) and then hide it when it comes to getting married. and then the girls who acted like good BY girls, and did the right thing, end up looking worse. y? because that’s how the shidduch crisis works, theres no logic behind it!!
there is so much pressure to go to sem. and if you don’t wanna go, or its too expensive, than your told that none of the boys wanna go out/marry you! and the craziness doesnt end! than, the boys wanna make sure that they will marry a girl from a good sem, and so then they only go out with girls from BJJ or hadar!
AND THAN PEOLPE WONDER WHY THERE IS A SHIDDUCH CRISIS!!!
can someone please explain how Shabbos and yom tov works in ateres and seminar? how many shabbosim are “in shabbosim”( if any)?will either help you if you cant find a place to go?
alos is it hard to get accepted to either seminary?
hey. im also looking into sems, and I really can use some help!does anyone know anything about seminar, ateres, tiferes, or me’or? are any of them really academic? any info would be of great assistance, thank you.