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While we’re on the subject of languages, Where Oh Where is our famous, flawless linguistics expert- Haifagirl??

Yes, Zdad, Defiantly and also Definitely…

Sheesh, we’re all missing you here, Miss Haifa. (or was that Ms?)

What would Margaret Mead have made of Flatbush?

There was one Kosher Gym, but it closed for lack of clients.

There was one book store, but it closed, ditto.

There are several sefarim stores.

There are probably more take-out, fast-food stores and restaurants per capita than anywhere else in the world besides Midtown Manhattan and Les Halles in Paris.

There are nail salons proliferating on every block and corner daily.

???

Ever?

When the other 2 of the triplets are screaming and the 1 and 1/2 year old big sister is shampooing the carpet with toothpaste and the washing machine is overflowing and flooding the house and you only got 12 minutes of sleep the night before.

Otherwise, please hold that baby in your arms while he has his bottle. Same as you would if you were providing sustenance by other means.

Oomis, please take note of the difference between Lashon Kodesh, the language of the Torah, and, lehavdil, Ivrit, the language of Eliezer Ben-Yehuda.

They are not the same thing, although there are many linguistic similarities. (Interestingly, I’ve heard that Ben-Yehuda tried to incorporate Arabic words into Hebrew.)

While many of us speak, read and write Ivrit, we do not make Brachos or daven in Ivrit (excepting the private Tefillos we may offer our Creator straight from our hearts, that are acceptable in any language we use).

As for translating p’sukim- many of us translate them into English, French, Russian… Rav Shamshon Refael Hirsch famously translated the Torah into German (or a dialect of German known as Hoch Deutsch). And of course there was the Targum Shivim many years before that. I don’t think that lends these languages any holiness.

Hope you’re back to good times by next Shabbos. In case not, with regard to what you felt was the worst- not using lip balm-

Ask your Rav if you’re allowed to put some plain olive oil on your lips. If it’s muttar for you to do so, try it on a random weekday. You may find it offers a little relief.

SomeoneMe2, your post was beautifully written and very sad.

I’m going to try to answer the question you started with.

Most people (maybe you too?) tend to take the path of least resistance. To understand this, just watch a stream of water flowing down an incline and see how it finds the most efficient way to get to the bottom. Mitzvah observance (both bein adam laMakom & bein adam l’chaveiro) requires focus, precision, effort, calculation and WORK. A lot of the time it makes you feel that you’re climbing up a steep incline, panting and puffing, not sliding leisurely, lazily, down the path of least resistance.

There’s a tendency in our generation to get all spiritual and mystical and look for Segulos to get us where we want to be, instead of working on ourselves. People love telling stories and conjuring up all kinds of magical theories of why and how things are the way they are. It makes them feel good.

To say that an autistic person has a special Neshama sounds perfectly lovely. To accept this person the way he is, to relate to him as an equal, to be sensitive to his needs, may require some effort. (This is no different, by the way, than the effort required to be pleasant and considerate to one’s neighbor, child, spouse, parent etc) Why bother?, may be the thought process for many. That word- “effort” – is a no-no.

I don’t think most people are intentionally cruel. I think what you’re seeing is that they (unfortunately) just can’t be bothered to work on their own Middos and their own Avodah bein adam l’chaveiro.

I hope many people will read your post and pass it around to even more readers. If you bring about a heightened sensitivity in even one person, you will have accomplished a wonderful thing.

Ivory, no age requirements for CR members.

Would you post the same number of “?” or maybe “!” if I made it clear I was 88?

(I won’t even attempt to pass myself off as a classmate of Shop613.)

You can usually figure out the age group and gender of posters if you spend enough time round here (not necessarily a good thing).

TakenU, I’m no Rebbetzin. (Not much of a golfer either.) But I know some of the relevant sources teaching that the women’s influence on her husband’s spiritual growth, and on the general state of the marriage, is substantial. And of course I agree that they’re correct. But there’s still a lot that’s not in her hands. There are circumstances where a divorce is the best Refuah for a marriage that is causing pain to all parties involved.

Just because you’re the woman doesn’t mean you have to beat yourself up over this. The husband and wife are both responsible for making the home a safe haven, and a place of comfort, love and sippuk hanefesh for each other and for their children. I don’t know all the details, but chances are there’s no reason for you to take the whole burden of guilt on yourself.

I felt sorry to hear there’s no Rav you feel you can speak to. It can be dangerous going to the wrong therapist. A Rav can be a great support under the circumstances, and can direct you to a reputable, competent therapist who will help you to see things clearly.

Wishing you the strength to get through this difficult time and to move on to better, happier days.

Ubiquitin, the “dating divide” is a separate issue from the famous (or infamous) Crisis.

The d d is a direct result of shadchanim in certain circles (where the d d is disastrous) redting shidduchim to the boy first. (I’m not the only one who raised this issue here in the past.)

I would have guessed that the Mods have been using their famous (or infamous) invisible ink to post my posts.

Huh?

But actually, the problem, as was explained to me by a very well-known and famous shadchanit (shadchante, if you prefer) is as follows:

This system of redting first to boys was implemented to protect girls from the pain of rejection when a boy says ‘no’. This way the girl gets a boy’s name when she already has a positive answer from him. (There is no fear of causing boys or their parents any discomfort if and when they get a ‘no’.)

This shadchanit would be very interested in changing things and redting to both sides at the same time, but, apparently for the reason she mentioned, she can’t persuade anyone to go along with her.

Ivory, your personal observation is interesting, but useless.

That’s why everyone is clamoring for hard data and organized analysis.

I did post my own personal observation earlier, but only in response to a question from Lior to “anyone reading this”. If more people had answered his question, it might have been interesting to see what results we came up with. But no one else took the bait.

And Lior in fact decided I did Not qualify as “anyone reading this”, as he ignored the courtesy.

PAA,

Thank you.

As usual, interesting to read the quotes you kindly posted.

I enjoy reading the originals, not hearing them in loose second & third hand translations.

My Aramaic is beyond poor, so I didn’t get everything.

If Alexander saw the earth (Olam) as a “kadur”, a ball or sphere; and the Yam (Seas) as a “ke’ara”, a convex bowl-

Would you say that he saw our planet as a spherical object? Or was he describing the relation between the shape of the earth and the sea?

Ari-f, that seems a little harsh.

Children are self-centered creatures. Having guests at the Shabbos table is nice as far as being mechanech them to do Hachnasas Orchim. But a lot of kids will enjoy Shabbos if they have their parents’ undivided attention at the table. They’ll enjoy talking and eating and singing and spending time together during Seudos Shabbos. Yes, even if that includes a little bickering with their sibs. I don’t know if sm29 has kids. But I’ll bet if he does, they enjoyed the Shabbos project without any unfamiliar guests.

Dash!!

Me three, LOL

… but only if they’re not married .

AZOI, you are not spending enough time here.

If you did you would know that Brooklyn, NY is the center of the universe.

Everyone from any other place (possibly, but not definitely, including Yerushalayim) is referred to as OOT.

(OOT is a pejorative, not a compliment.)

Try this experiment:

Take a globe.

Find Brooklyn.

If you can’t, settle for NYC.

Put your finger on the spot you have found.

Notice- your finger is exactly at the center of the globe.

See?

More Shabbos guests sounds like a great idea, Syag!

But I meant ‘how do we go ahead?’ on a communal, organizational level.

Git M brings up an interesting point.

It’s well known that in pre-war Europe many communities suffered from their own ‘off-the-derech’ crisis, losing their young people to the Communists, the Neologs (their version of Conservative), Hashomer Hatzair and other irreligious Zionist movements, and the lure of the Goldene Medina where Shabbos observance sadly fell by the wayside for many.

I’m not aware of any communal, institutionalized attempts to be mekarev those who left Torah and Mitzvos behind. Perhaps on a personal level families tried to remain in contact with their relatives. For many, the response of choice was cutting off communication and staying as far away, and keeping their children as far away, as possible.

The great accomplishments of the major Kiruv organizations can’t be denied. Every Neshama they’ve brought back to living a life of Torah is a monumental achievement. But I’m definitely curious to see if someone offers Git Mesh an answer to his question.

LetakeinG & SIDI,

Agreed!

That was definitely a great accomplishment.

I’m not sure the point of the exercise was to get all of Brooklyn, or the US, to have a perfect record of Shmiras Shabbos.

People like the two of you made the the project worthwhile.

Hope it gets easier and easier for both of you to continue!

Eftachb, you sound like a wonderful teacher.

Still, I think there might be a problem with what you’re doing.

There has in fact been horrible unmentionable behavior on the part of sick people who exist even in our own circles. To children, and even adults, they look, and seem to act, like everybody else. One way to protect our children from them, is to get the little ones used to the fact that nobody, Absolutely nobody, besides their parents, grandparents, and siblings, has close physical contact with them.

Sad, but true.

In the olden days, before we lost our innocence, a child getting a kiss from a Morah, or sitting on a Rebbe’s lap while reciting Aleph Bais, was perfectly acceptable. I think those days are gone.

There are, however, plenty of other ways to show your students that you love them. Children are sensitive creatures, and will pick up your warm feelings from a gesture or the tone of your voice, even in the absence of physical touch. Some of my children were lucky to have Rabbayim

and teachers who clearly demonstrated their love for their students without any physical interaction. And it’s still remembered years later.

Awesome g, if you want to help jfem, please clarify. I think you’re trying to talk about South Bend IN, not Indianapolis IN.

A different answer for Lior:

Al rosh haganav bo’er hakova.

Or, in plain English, people demean others to build themselves up when they feel guilty about something.

Just human nature.

And note to PAA:

The people complaining the loudest are not those funding the Kollels.

Charliehall, nice to hear from you.

I don’t want to insult you by asking if you’ve been living under a rock, so I’m going to try to phrase this delicately.

Have you, perchance, been living under a rock?

Or are you, perchance, kidding??

You really don’t know who NASI is?

…Next you”ll tell us you haven’t heard of the revered age gap theory of shidduchim. (Do you happen to recall a poster named AZ who tried to make us all believers?)

I bumped a thread that you apparently missed. (There are only about sixty or seventy others, but I’m not in the habit of bumping dozens of old threads all at once.)

If you want to offer your services as a statistician and help us dig our way out of this mess, I’m sure a lot of people would be very grateful.

Not a shame at all, PurimM.

200 zuz won’t quite foot the bill any more.

Rabbeinu ZTZ”L got involved just in time to save you from having to multiply by 2 (or 3?) the diamond ring minhag, the diamond bracelet minhag, the unlimited texting and internet access minhag, the Pesach in Cancun minhag, and let’s not forget the $6,000 sheitel minhag.

Oomis, the OP presented his point in a joking manner, but I don’t think he’s playing with us.

The fact is, this is a Kibbud that is usually given to a younger bachur. The problem is that a man of 30 or 40 or 50 who isn’t married, is still considered a bachur. And may actually feel uncomfortable to be called up to the Torah, bifnei am v’eidah, at a point where it’s common to see a young man proudly sporting his first Borsalino.

The embarrassment is similar (forgive me if I’m wrong, Miss Haifa) to haifagirl’s discomfort (mentioned in a different thread) when her friend’s children call her by her first name, and call their mother’s married friends who are 20 years younger than haifag, “Mrs X”.

People who have not yet been zoche to stand under the Chuppa with their bashert want to be respected as normal, adult members of our society, not as overgrown (possibly graying) childen. That’s the respect the OP is requesting, oomis.

I think that what threw you off course is the fact that there is a Sefer Torah involved in the discussion. And Kavod Torah does have precedence. But I didn’t notice any intended bizayon (Ch”v’Sh) here. Just a request for consideration, and recognition of the fact that the OP is a mature adult.

With all the hype about the catastrophe (not my word, coined by someone far more chashuv than me) facing our older single ladies, it’s understandable that the men who find themselves in the same predicament feel somewhat invisible. They have all these askanim pointing out to them, in large colorful ads, that they don’t actually exist. Or, if they do in fact find they have a pulse, and see a reflection in the mirror, it must mean there’s something seriously wrong with them.

So Popa may or may not have been joking (I don’t think so), but I have to agree with him.

You are so wrong, HaKatan.

It is not necessary to consult a posek or one’s Rav to determine whether it is proper to instill in our own hearts, or our children’s, a deep love for Eretz Yisrael.

If someone is considering a move from chutz la’Aretz to E”Y (or a move from E”Y to Chu”l, or even a move from Antwerp to Cleveland) it is wise and proper to have a discussion first with a Rav who is familiar with the circumstances regarding the person considering the move, and his family if he’s fortunate not to be moving alone.

Rando, your post to oomis did not totally make sense. Must’ve been some typos or autospells in there that made it gibberish. And what’s wrong with answering a question, as beautifully as oomis did, even if the question did come from a troll??

++1 to your post, oomis.

(Did you ever consider working for Aish? Seriously.)

Thank you wise men who took the time to answer.

Very interesting Rashi, Patur A A! Thanks for mentioning. Wondering if I should make the connection to Rashi having daughters… or if maybe I should just mind my own business.

And yes, lightupt, it was never presented to me in the past as a Segulah at all. Just a good thing. And I must say, it actually is!