BSD

I think you miss Grandmaster because e/o called him Grandma-it was so cozy:)

BTW, Can Clairvoyant tell the future? I’m looking for a good stock.

A Jew is sitting on the train minding his own business, when Osama approaches him and tells him rudely to take his bags off the seat. The Jew ignores him and hums a merry tune. “yuddi duddi dei dei…” Osama gets mad and tells him that if he doesn’t remove the bags instantly, he will throw it off the train.

“yuddi duddi dei dei…”

In a rage, Osama takes the bags one by one and chucks it out the window. All the while the Jew is smiling and singing “yuddi duddi dei dei…”. Osama can’t believe it. He turns to the Jew and says “Jew why are you smiling?” “Because,” says the Jew,” those were not my bags.”

I know we cannot question H-shem’s ways, but perhaps someone out there can explain the no chelek leolam habah aspect. Suppose the person excelled in bain adam lamakom and bain adam lachavero and in a moment of weakness after suffering overwhelming hardships he does the unthinkable. Are all his good deeds null and void? Is he treated the same as s/o who was a bad person and then took his own life?What’s if his hardships stemmed from lending people money and then going bankrupt because the borrowers were unable to repay?

Maybe you can be mikarev the cat?

You start!

Getzel-that was great!!! Smart cookie-great marriage jokes, good thing my wife doesn’t waste her time on the cr or she might use it on me.

This Israeli is famished and enters the nearest eatery, which happens to be an upscale French restaurant. He is escorted to a table and presented with a menu by a white gloved waiter. He peruses the menu and soon realizes that he can’t read a word on the menu, let alone pronounce it. Turning to the waiter in exasperation he asks “Sir, do you have frog legs?” “Why cerrtainly” replies the waiter in his fine French accent. “Great” says the Israeli, “then please hop over to the kitchen and get me some chumus”

This Jewish guy walks into a restaurant, notices a Chinese guy at one of the tables, and out of the blue, walks up to him and kicks him so hard he goes flying off his chair. The bewildered China-man looks up incredulously at his assailant and asks”excuse my ignorance but do I know you from somewhere” “That’s for Pearl Harbor” replies the Jew indignantly. “Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese not the Chinese” “Japanese, Chinese” replies the Jew, “it’s all the same to me” and calmly proceeds to sit himself down at another table. He was just sinking his teeth into some good matzoh ball soup when he gets a powerful blow to his face. He is still reeling when he looks up and sees none other than the China-man. “What in heaven’s name was that for?” asks the Jew. “That’s for the Titanic!”replies the China-man with smug satisfaction “The Titanic?”cries the Jew “The Titanic hit an iceberg?”

Says the China-man:

“Iceberg, Goldberg, it’s all the same to me.”

9=# of lbs. gained over yuntif

Knish- I love your topic. and don’t pay attention to chayav inish livisumay he is One Tipsy Poster. I bet you’ll get many many posts and even from chayav inish-once he sobers up a bit.

Leon- Don’t be desperate. Keep looking, speak with confidence, believe in yourself, be persistent, follow up,(ask potential employers when you can do a follow up call then set an e-alert to remind you-people respect persistence and punctuality) but whatever you do do not allow yourself to feel desperate, because that is how people make mistakes. You are just starting out. Start out on a good foot. have a little chutzpah. Interview your interviewer. You know you will be an asset to the company because you are honest, persistent, capable, energetic, etc. but will the company be good for you? Is it a pleasant work environment, fair boss or whatever else is important to you. And most of all you need tehillim uhn trerin. Hatzlachah. We are all routing for you. Let us know when there’s good news.

“ever heard of OCD or anorexia? are u nervous that thats happening to someone? I wish it would happen to me”

Which one ocd or anorexia?

Speaking of tread, where do I get a good deal on treadmills?:)

Why do you need to fly to have fun? What ever happened to staycations? Prentend you are flying in to your area from out of town and check all the tourist attractions in your area. Most New Yorkers have not visited the Statue of Liberty. But ppl from every other State have. The grass is not always greener on the other side. There’s tons of fun to be had right in your own backyard.

Good Luck, and have fun!

And then what happened?

“…baby powder kosher l’pesach??”

Try potato starch:))

Thanks- and keep your distance.

Here’s a thought that helps me:

On r”h there seems to be no trouble having kavanah, because a person recognizes that his entire year is hanging in the balance. Well, every morning when a person davens he/she can have in mind that the entire day is hanging in the balance-we’ve all had our better days and our worse days. Will today be a day of frustration, humiliation, disappointment etc. or will it be a successfull day, the type of day where everything just seems to fall into place. A little investment in teffilah can make all the difference.

Also, tefillah is not just asking H-shem to give and give, but rather it is designed to forge a bond with H-shem. The emaos were akoros, because hkb”h wanted their teffilos. Davening to H-shem with betochon that the tefillos are heard and with the understanding and appreciation that everything comes from above brings tremendous closeness between us and our Creator.

Cherrybomb- What do you mean?

How do you say flat tire in Ivrit?

They say every chulent bean is a malach.

On Motzei shabbos all the malachim come together and sing shirah.

So, to answer the question-how often i eat to depends on how often I’m expecting company.

Aruba- just lay on a hammock and drink tequila.Ahhhh

Observ-That makes sense- 2 points for righties 0 for lefties.

How about this one:

Seven Eleven is open 24/7/365. Why bother installing locks and light switches?

“Just tell the Senora – Barer y mopa todo y(Eee) limpiar los banyos!”

I tried telling her that and she got really mad and quit. What does it mean? Now my wife is putting me to work and I am zonked.

Who can understand Enohok righties or lefties. Let that be the litmus test. Let the 2 threads come together on this so we can determine once and for all who really rocks. Afterward we can do riddles, sodokus etc.

Mama Rochel by schwekey That’s a real tear jerker.