Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
WiseWoman:
Whoa, you’re sure not sounding to wise. There are PLENTY of learning boys with stellar middos. The ones who are real do help despite their seriousness in learning. I think you’ve come in contact with a select few who don’t portray the others in a good light but these are not the majority of learning guys.
I personally called the OU and asked if I can get a black coffee there and add in soy milk (I only drink Chalav Yisroel). They told me it was 100% ok.
frumladygit
The OU says it’s ok.
“For far too many people, it’s just easier than going to work and supporting yourself”
You nailed it.
Good to know for next time. When I first used the buses I got on the front and was rather confused as to why I was getting death stares…
On Mehadrin buses, how do the girls pay if they have to sit in the back?
WIY:
I would – but nowhere near a 1st date. What would your reaction be if someone asked you?
WIY:
I don’t know what extremes I went to. I agree with your post 100%. Guys can be in yeshiva, stay in the coffee room all day, and they’ll be known as a “learner.” Like you said, I don’t think the slackers deserve the good girls who want serious learners.
From what I’ve dealt with,
Forever learning = long term learning (you’re right WIY, not no learning – sorry)
Long term learning = 5 years learning
5 years learning – 2 years learning
2 years learning – work the day after sheva brachos.
I can be totally off and I’m sure some guy will come and say he means it when he says 5 years learning but this is my experience.
This is how the system works:
A guy might very much want to work. He’s told that he won’t get a good, frum girl if he does. He therefore stays in learning. He then decides to say he’ll learn for a bit after he gets married and go on to work. “No,” he’s told. He won’t get a good, frum girl like that either. So he claims that he wants to learn forever.
Take it from the girls side:
A girl wants a working boy but knows that those who say they’re working probably don’t have the hashkafos they do. They therefore decide to say they want the few years learning but soon realize that that approach doesn’t work either. They conclude that they want the forever learners.
Does the boy want to learn forever? No.
Does the girl want a forever learner? No.
But in order to get the boy/girl they each want, they have to play by the system and hopefully land up with what they actually want.
Granted, it would be much easier if people can actually say what they are and want. It’s a messed up system but this is the game to play.
Homeowner:
No problem. What’s the answer though? Why are they so different?
Homeowner:
Ok, let’s not get sarcastic here. I was asking seriously. And no, I don’t see why it’s so different. I don’t know the halachos of maras ayin all that well but I’m curious why those two scenarios are so different.
How do you apply for SEED?
Homeowner:
Why would it be maras ayin? Wouldn’t it be the same idea as going into a non-kosher supermarket and buying a bag of chips?
By Modim, in Shmoneh Esrei, a lot of people say sheatah (with a segol) instead of shuatah (with a kumatz).
LOL yaff80. Reminds me of a story my father had. A girl asked him out. (Weird, I know. It’s usually the other way around.) His response was “I don’t think my wife will approve.” She was also quite embarrassed.
I never agree with mosherose but this time he has a point. One should always remember eisav sonei es yaakov.
I drive. I sometimes go somewhere far (where I’ll have to take a highway), depending on how upset I am. Cleaning my room also calms me down.
What ideas are you looking for. Facts are facts. There’s no right or wrong here.
myfriend
The question is why you have a problem with it.
LOL Mayan_Dvash
chesedname
Good job! Now was that so difficult?!
Wolf:
You’re right but the following comments prove my point…
“and for g-ds sake stop using your corrupt logic to pasken shalos!!”
“get it through your head, what you’re doing is WRONG, assur, and someone that does something wrong on purpose is called a rasha.”
so right
Interesting sense of humor. In that case, my apologies.
It seems like many people in the CR are trying to shove their chumros down everyone’s throat. I know what’s coming next. “It’s not a chumrah, it’s blatant halacha.” If that’s the case, provide a source and discuss it. But to call Wolf an apikores and rasha over something that he discussed with his LOR is just stupid.
so right:
You’re just trying to find a reason why not to listen to what bombmaniac has to say. Since this is unfortunately the case, take it from me. I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth and yet agree with bombmaniac 100%.
Someone told me his Rav said it’s not Maaras Ayin to go into a not koser restaurant in Manhattan nowadays since it is assumed that you’re there for business and have a kosher meal ordered.
WIY
If you say so.
WIY:
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think the problem you have with designer clothing stems from jealously more than a so called tznius problem.
smartcookie: I agree…
WolfishMusings:
Your posts are hilarious! Keep em coming!
This has been discussed many times in the CR…unfortunately it never leads anywhere.
Well I like Tahari and Ralph Lauren so that works! Who else is Jewish?
WIY! Leave Sacrilege alone!! You made your point and it’s up to her to decide what to do…enough already!
Sacrilege –
I never knew that!
I know someone who started davening Maariv but stopped when her brothers kept on making fun of her. In seminary she heard from a Rabbi that girls should daven Maariv. I wonder if she started again…
But seriously, I hate skipping Mincha but my office is an open one and there’s no corner where I can daven without everyone wondering why I’m randomly hitting my chest and bowing.
I wouldn’t discuss it with the guy but it’s definitely interesting to watch…especially when you know the person!
“Looking at every girl you see until you find one you like and then inquiring about her is Assur.”
Prove it.
“which hotels are the best for dating in the city?”
None.
Slightly off topic but what was the ending of Shattered Glass? I only saw the following issue where tons of people wrote in that such an ending didn’t belong in a Jewish publication.
I understand what you’re saying but what I would suggest is to try to look past the negative and focus on the positive. While easier said than done, try to realize the points you mentioned are bumps in what is a beautiful life of being a Jew.
I think also the fact that you would take off for Yamim Tovim, put on tefillin, and even check this site shows that you do have a desire (however small) to stick to the religion.
“I want to one day want to be frum”
I wish you luck and hope this day comes real soon!
Guys usually don’t have a problem congregating for a minyan in Manhattan but to all females in the corporate world, where do you daven mincha?
For later dates I think lounges are fine when you really want to get to know the person. But I wish for earlier dates people would come up with something else.
HadalLXTP:
Definitely not always but if a guy would suggest lounge vs something else I would without a second thought pick the something else…no matter what it is 🙂
WiseWoman:
I know!! Lobby’s are the absolute worst place for a first date! I also glance at the TV when things get boring but it’s usually a sports game on and I don’t know what’s flying. I’d even rather just sit in the car and drive around aimlessly than go to a lounge. We gotta have a petition written up to ban them…
Sacrilege:
I know someone who asked for Black Label! I once went out with a guy who told me I can order any alcohol I want – too bad I can’t differentiate between whiskey, liquor, beer, bourbon, etc. Yeah, I know that’s bad!