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Hi SayIDidIt.
I am for banning the bottles whether water is in them or not.
Plastic = poison.
And for the record, I dont drink or eat anything where a Herr is involved.
: )
Hi SayIDidIt.
Yes, I said that. lol
Try getting a wide piece of white tape and wrap it around the handle and with a marker, a water proof marker, write, “REMEMBER”. This way, when you are using the umbrella, you will make an subconscious note to remind you not to forget it.
Hi AZOLIS.
I was also going to say Lincoln Center. And I am sure the Parks and Recreation department has lists of free outdoor music events.
I guess you are safe with classical and jazz. If you get an aisle seat, then sitting arrangements should not be too much of a problem.
Enjoy!
“Some men see no garbage bin and ask, “Why?” Others see no garbage bin and ask, “Why not?” ~ Reuven Efraim Kennedy
Why not get a bin during the week and place it there?
Speaking of tissues, this is a good time to bring up tissue conservation. Many people upon using a tissue are prone to throwing it out right away, not realizing there is an entire other side which has not been used yet.
Hi write or wrong.
BH, I do hear success stories from time to time when I run into former students. In some cases they say things they did, had to do, or learned in my class were instrumental. Not sure if they are just being kind, though. Funny thing, many of them do settle in once they get older, BH.
Still, they should enjoy their youth and never made to feel they are “one of those kids”, which I know that is how many feel simply because it’s difficult to succeed at logical, sequential performance objectives with no opportunity to be rewarded for their creative, spatial, and intuitive side. This also goes with limud kodesh, as well. A crude example is the specialness of Bezalel, who was not made to feel like “one of those kids”. It was quite the opposite. And this has nothing to do with IQ.
Ban cigarettes and illegal Mexicans; not soda.
Although if they banned corn syrup, the evil ingredient in soda, I would agree to that. You would then have water, a source for carbonation, flavoring, and sugar; none of which are illegal at this point.
It’s only a matter of time before Mayor Bloomberg starts charging a toll for carpal tunnel.
Thought this thread was about Motown music. Sorry.
It would be nice to know, and I think almost obligatory for those volunteering to be involved with the election process, that they would get it right the first time.
In fact, perhaps every election should be run twice, just like an accounting sheet, to ensure the numbers are correct.
Citizens deserve better than sloppy, and apparently wreckless vote tabulation.
Am I missing something? Is not accepting a geirim severly against Torah in a VERY big way??? How can this be without that group being seen in the light of the splintered groups 2012 years ago?
I just have to add that that anybody can compose a song if you accept that a song is not excluded to a piece of music which has been formally arranged, produced, and recorded. A child can make up a song on the spot, if you can go outside the aforementioned definition. With a little help, you can play it on a piano with single keys, and sing to it. Is that not a song?
I also guess that tone deaf people can compose a song. Beethoven was deaf altogether.
Having had theory and harmony class back in high school, since I played in a few bands back during that time, it is theoretically possible to know the scale of any given key and write notes to sheet music, staying within the major or minor notes of that scale, and know the song will come out with a sound which makes sense. Of course, some songs also include going outside those rules where dissonance is actually adding to the meaning of the song, depending on what you want to achieve.
Hi write or wrong.
You bring up interesting components to this problem.
There can be numerous solutions or none at all.
The problems I mentioned, in my opinion, are deeply systemic. They dominate the outlook of the community, our yeshivas, the families, and youngsters themselves.
Attitudes are very difficult to change. Teachers, alone cannot control the curriculum or even totally influence that yeshivas have adequate resources to teach with.
The measuring stick we use to define who is smarter and more successful and even more Jewish, is solely dependent on a curriculum of learning which favor people who are heavily left brain hemisphere oriented (logical, sequential thinking).
And what about those who are more balanced or heavily right brain hemisphere oriented (spatial, intuitive, creative)? They are left out of opportunities to develop, or, at best, told such endeavors are shtuss. They are neglected, looked down upon, and discouraged.
There are no immediate answers. We have a lot on our plate now: loshon hora, internet, derech deviation issues, finances for yeshivas, a “shiddich crises”..etc.
We are a smart people. Our forebears were able to be frum and successful in a variety of endeavors when the outside society made it difficult for them to be Jews. Here, in America, we have freedom to look at our institutions and change them.
My only real solution that is workable is that I, as an individual, and teacher, can try to be encouraging and offer inspiration to hold them over until they are adults and can find the educational opportunities and support in career endeavors, as long as we dont lose them before they emotionally drop out.
Keep it open and it will be harder to lose.
lol @ velvelwolf…and your answer is also very humane and a natural way to handle the problem. The dogs will get a chuckle out of it too and get the message in a friendly way.
Hey smartstar.
I think anyone can compose a song.
Your question brings to mind something a great songwriter said. Yochanon Lennonsky, part of a great songwriting team, Lennonsky and McCartneystein once said:
Anyone can write a song. Just think of what you want to say. Make it rhyme, and hum a tune to it.
I am not sure where this long thread has meandered, but I am posting to the title.
A lot of the derech deviation issues on the teenage level have to do with stupidity, shmiros haloshon, and gaiva from OTHER people who think they are on the derech.
Specifically, and simply, yeshivas are heavily geared to reward people who are exceedingly left brain hemisphere oriented. The logical, sequential, orderly thinking part of the brain. Included are those who are very good at “parroting” information. And the more exact, the great the reward given to that kind of learner. And rightfully so!
However, those learners who Hashem created right brain hemisphere oriented, or heavily dominated by that portion of the brain, excel in abstract thought, creative thought, deep thought, spatial thought..etc…and the more they are influenced by that portion of the brain, they more thay are left out of the curriculum and suffer boredom and find it painful to sit a whole day.
Such students would do better in Montessori type projects (for gifted) where they work with projects and not passive lectures.
The second group of teens I just mentinoed, then become labeled with “he is one of those kids”. They get lost in the mix. They are not looked at with a sense of esteem. And the wander until they cant put up with it anymore.
In fact, right hemisphere learners frequently do better on IQ tests.
In our community, from what I have seen, those who are not equally balanced, but lean more to right hemisphere thinking, are being done an injustice since the curriculum is not geared to their success. This is followed up by ignorant adults who label the kids as not being as Jewish as they should be…and on and on.
This is what happens when standardized education is not employed, nor people who are properly trained as educators. Being an expert at knowing limud Kodesh does not necessarily an educator make.
And the whole community, by and large, goes with the flow, and those good, smart kids are left out by us…and when the leave the rest of the way, chas veshalom, we scratch our heads and ask what their problem may be.
Their problem is us.
Hi BH.
I can only imagine the sense of doom they felt back then, so when it finally came to an end, on that day they saw fit to celebrate and could lift their hearts a little at a time.
With G-d’s help, they find a cure for all the terminal diseases. While we would feel pain for what happened up to that point, there would also be cause to celebrate at the same time.
I think the world would be lost.
The internet is a mirror of the world, but up close in your face.
Online one can learn things more easily, donate to tzedaka more easily, find out information and attend important events, shiurim..etc.
Online one can also more easily, chas veshalom, stumble into terrible things.
That being said, the internet is a more personal and convenient way to come across the same things you can find on Main Street, Wall Street, Easy Street, etc…..
It is more demanding on us to use our discretion, but not so different from the challenges in the world at large.
I daven in fast and slow minyanim.
Regarding the fast: There are those who blaze along and still enunciate every word, from what I can tell. I assume they have been davening since birth and are not losing any kavana in the process.
Regarding the slow: For me, I come out of such a minyan with such a different and more complete feeling.
I would venture to say the effectiveness of davening is in relationship to the concentration and kavan put into it.
If one is able to “shoot his arrow” of prayer with the same strength in a fast minyan, then fine. If not, then it is not so ok to daven with a fast minyan, unless they need a minyan.
Hi msg.
You are right in that everyone has ups and downs. That is understood. But I dont think you should overly worry that someone will misunderstand something you may say and be scared away.
Remember, girls, for the most part, have a lot of brothers and they know in family life there are all kinds of ups and downs. They also learn that family loyalty remains through thick and thin.
You have no choice but to be real and honest. Dont think someone will be scared away. Being disonest and disingenuous are what will scare a girl away. They are smarter and more inuitive, and also have their ups and downs and may also worry if you may be scared away.
It will all work out.
Hatzlacha!
Sam2.
Very well said!
I have to add that one time I heard something that is not easy to forget. It is this: When you point a finger at someone else, there are three more pointing back at you.
Hashem gave us all the other sports for those who can’t play football! Football is a great sport.
Cheerleaders are a problem. On the other hand, going into a Target or Walmart from May through August is the same problem multiplied by a lot.
Go Sanchebow!
I have heard enough shiurim and read enough about this that it is my understanding davening in a minyan is much more significant than davening alone. Enough so, that I try to do whatever I can to make a minyan each time I daven. If one is going to daven, it is worth the effort to make it count as much as possible and not to mitigate the impact of one’s prayers by davening alone. I want to add that one should try to find the right minyan that goes at a comfortable pace so as not to compromise davening with kavana.
Hatzlacha!
Hi ironpenguin.
Having worked in a few different yeshivos for various reasons, I just want to say a few things.
The reputation “on the street” about a given yeshiva is often different from what really goes on in the four walls on a given school day.
The labeling of boys goes into a territory which is anti-education. Boys dont come off the assembly line “good” or “bad” or “the right one” or “the wrong one”.
Some of the “standards” border or cross into gaiva.
Education is about developing young people; all of them.
Every young person is awesome and entitled to a great teacher to get to know them and work with them and develop them.
The positive to your brother’s situation is a matter of faith.
Regardless of the numbers of yeshivos you are talking about, on
a certain level, it just means they were not the ones entrusted to provide him with an education.
The school he will attend, iy”H, will be the right one where he will prosper because by accepting him, it shows they care about him.
A HUGE Mazal Tov!! : D
The universe is said to expand and contract. So I guess that means feet, too. Hold on to those 7.5’s.
Cerealously, perhaps it is the sizing of the shoe. Since many things are now made overseas, I noticed clothing and shoe sizing is in no way consistent with former standards.
Hi RT,
Amen!
I would imagine it was started by the guys who sold suits.
Also, I am beginning to realize that cuff links are working their way up the minhag ladder, especially for Shabbos.
By holding back that kind of information, one is being more than fair to the smoker but not to the other party.
Just equal the scales and tell it like it is, that the person smokes but promises to quit. In this way you are being fair to the other person and honest, but not unfair, to the smoker.
Smoking and promising to quit is not the same status as being a non-smoker, and it should not be pretended to be so or to be thought of in that light.
Speaking of light, anyone have a cigarette? lol Just kidding. I do not smoke.
Good luck, and I hope they quit smoking.
Hi Mikehall.
Amen!
Another possible answer to the question is the financial aspect.
I can only offer a little perspective I have come across working with teens in the public schools.
Goyish teenagers are distraught, confused, bored, etc..etc… In fact, they have a high rate of, chas veshalom, running away from home, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, getting involved with criminal activities, fighting, and random exploitation of hedonistic activities that do not lead to fulfillment. In many cases, it leads them to depression or a rehab or counseling.
The percentage of non-Jewish teens involved with such activities is VERY high. The rehabs, courts, etc, are flooded with such cases.
A frum teen should not think their age-related confusion is because they are frum. Being frum is a safety valve from going through the school of hard-knocks and learning things the hard way, like the situations I mentioned.
Frum teens should do a reality check and realize that what they think is the answer, is not. There are countless, countless teens free to live a life we would call OTD, and that life is very difficult for them.
Do not abandon building your Olam Haba thinking the grass in greener on the “goyish” side. Think about the problems going on with the kids in any public high school, and avoid making a foolish, or chas veshalom, painful mistake.
Hang in there, and Hatzlacha!
Don’t drive a mercedes, even if you can afford it.
..and a snowy summer.
Hi cshapiro.
I want to apologize for being taken as obnoxious. I never intended to be rude, and I hope you will forgive me.
Based on my own ignorance, I had no clue there is such a thing to prefer in a shirt something like square buttons. I truly did not know.
Often times there are posts here meant to be tongue-in-cheek, and it is not easy to determine in 100% of the cases.
In any event, I apologize.
Secondly, I cannot answer your question and I dont even think I have seen dress shirts with square buttons, or maybe would not have noticed.
I tried amazon.com and all I found were “Harvard Square” brand shirts and shirts with square hems or square cuffs.
I would imagine a good suit shop can give you an immediate and accurate reply on obtaining such shirts.
In theory, would anyone care to say what the odds are that if everyone goes on one plane, it is safer than splitting up, because splitting up into two planes now means, chas veshalom, a greater chance a family will chas veshalom be at risk?
Would it not be like a family now has the worry of the safety of two planes and two pilots and two sets of air traffic control, remotely similar to two targets are worse than one?
lol @ BH!
How can we argue about fault when we have no specific scenario presented?
lol
Hi write or wrong.
I would recommend to be the “voice of reason” for him. At his age, he is very influenced by his peers and this trend of wanting to be cool by going after shtussim.
He may just be testing the boundaries and also note that your words may have more of an impact on him than you realize.
Your support and encouragement for him to do the right thing will help him “go off” a little less, than more, until he matures and is understands why he should be grateful.
Listen, many of us who made it here from there know the appealing garbage is garbage, so…… I hate the idea that some people already “on the derech” have to learn that the hard way. But the hard way is usually a lesson well learned.
Hatzlacha Rabbah!!!
Hi yich.
You are very clear and fair in your assessment of the question being asked by Patri.
It is clear you fall on the side of neutralizing blame, for the most part, which is a good thing.
But when something as severe as divorce happens, it is not like two people just took a turn down the wrong street and ended up divorced scratching their heads and shrugging their shoulders in confusion.
It is also not usual for two people to decide at the same time and to the same degree to start shirking their responsibilities and courtesies to their marriage partner.
In fact, I would suggest that in divorce at least one person WILL accept blame and say it is their fault, validating Patri’s curiosity as expressed in the question.
I think you are both in a valid place. Patri is curious, and to me, if someone takes the “blame” it can help to rectify the situation, if possible. You are taking a posture of being gentle and not wanting to add harm to a bad situation.
I am not sure you two are in conflict conceptually, but possibly compatible parts to a whole.
Hi Baal.
Well, I think it’s time for us to start working out and working off all that good food and wine.
I think I will start next Monday, though..lol
I like all the ideas posted here, but each situation is a case by case basis.
There are divorces where two people dont get along and they cant put their finger on how they drifted apart after at one point in life they could not get enough of another.
There are divorces where the two people are nice as individuals, but horrible to each other in the marriage.
There are other cases where someone IS to blame, and at fault. They did wrong. And the wrong they did, or continued to do, is not easily, or cannot be repaired, and they create sorrow and need to ask for mechila.
The idea that these tragic situations were 50/50 in responsiblity, is not always correct or a just way to view a given situation.
Someone at some point in our community has to put their foot down and get real about cigarettes.
The idea that there are people tolerant of smoking just because they want to dismiss it’s danger because they think they are entitled to at least one vice and dont really see the immediate harm, is not only stupid, it is a big breach in the integrity of any community.
While many consumable and technological products have dangers, the product of cigarettes affords a person the ability to ingest over one hundred chemicals known to contribute to the, chas veshalom, worst of diseases including those which create genetic mutations which can, chas veshalom, be passed on to future generations all because daddy or mommy took maybe even just one puff before they were married.
Ammonia, nicotine, carbon monoxide, among tens and tens of other poisons are passing into the precious lungs and being dispersed throughout the entire body by anyone exposed to cigarette smoke.
And here is the beauty of it. Researchers are now adding radioactivity to the list of “nutrients” ingested by cigarette smoke.
There is evidence the soil now used to grow tobacco contains radon, a radioactive substance passed into the body via ciagerette smoke.
Interestingly, a product was developed to remove the radon from tobacco field soil, and the tobacco companies, yemach sh’mo, were not interested in using it as they felt it tampered with the flavor of the tabacco.
Cigarette smoking is a sakana, and because it is a slow damaging process, it is a favorite of the yetzer hora.
lol Flatbush Guy. And less smoking and hitching.
Hi noodles.
Iron free shirts can be found about anywhere these days. Also, they dont do windows.
It’s also good for shalom bayis. lol
Hi mra.
Dont you think they are too young for crullers? Especially two?
Hi cshapiro. lol.
They may have them at the store that sells left-handed, smoke shifters; and round, to-its (for people who need to get a round to-it).
Do you feel it there would be more merit for you by doing your workout without any music?
I would think, and I may be wrong, listening to music while working out is an enhanced form of enjoyment, because not only is there the usual enjoyment of the song, but you are absorbing the music to the point of a physically motivational benefit.
In other words, you are more absorbed in the song than the typical passive listening.
It is possible to work out without music and concentrate on your movements and breathing, and get through it fine.