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Try spending some time in BP. New York looks a whole lot better from here!
“what are the simple straight out basic halachos that a person is still considered “tznius”? “
“have you got a suggestion for the million levels in-between? “
If how you are dressing is leading to more erlichkeit / eidlekeit, you are being tzanua. If you’re not dressig that way, you know it better than anyone else, and you know it before you step outside.
Ok, maybe the range that separates our women from lady g is more than a fair scale. But there are no “levels in between” when it comes to tznius. You are either playing fair or playing with fire. And it makes no differenece which community you are coming from. This weekend, I saw women in sandals / no socks who were more tzniusdik than were women in seamed 70s. Its not always what you wear, its how you wear it.
And each contestant knew exactly how she was percieved by the public eye
I agree with MG. If the husband does not listen to daas torah, why keep him? He’s not providing in the materiel sense, and only taking. Give him a 3 month warning, and then move out if there is no improvement
Yes. In real life, I speak to women as well. But what and how its said is different than how I speak to men. Plus, there are certain conversations that should not be pursued between genders, and certainly some topics that should not be pursued when the age gap is too great.
Sounds condesending, but trust me, you’ll agree when you hit your mid-50s, and get drawn into a conversation with a 20 y/o bocher on a topic that is simply out of bounds
Nor can I see a husband rejecting his wife over 10 lbs.
There is either much more to this story, or its made up.
How’s this for a rule of thumb:
If your choice of dress makes your shul’s Rebbetizn want to use you as a role model of how to dress like a bas yisroel, you are dressing tzniusdik.
If your choice of dress makes Lady Gaga want to “friend” you on facebook, you may want to consider a re-think.
If this is a serious OP, that wife needs to seriouly get a new husband. The extra 10-20 lbs is not the issue, trust me.
(But something tells me this is a hoax)
I’d wear one, but it makes the shkotzim I go with feel uncomfortable
Have over couples that are less glamourous than yourselves. That’s a sure fire method of sholom bayis building!
I’d contribute my 2 cents, but last time I checked,I was banned from this thread.
(sorry)
Until after the trial, I’d like him kept very safe, so we don’t lose the chance to learn from this how he managed to snare Lieby A”H, and just how dangerous the street really are. During questioning, I’m sure it will be discovered how he tricked his victim and from that, we’ll know how to better protect our kids.
After that, I’d like to see him in Rikers. The treatment he’ll get there is beyond anything any of us can inflict on him. The death penalty will seem like a treat by comparsion
Institute an age range and gender tag that appears under your screen name. One that the Mods would verify before approving membership
For sure not baguette bar. It doesnt sound like fleshig food.
And if you are interested in a personal opinion, I think Grill King (or HotSpot) would fly with less resistance than anything with the word “bar” in it. Not sure which hechsher you will carry, but many of them will balk at putting their name on a place called a bar. (At least the ones in my immediate area.)
The real question is, how good are your fries and onion rings? And will you offer a real good garlic mayo dip?
Excuse me?
Not to say that you DO look like frodo, but if you did, the right spin doctor could make you out to be Morgan Fairchild.
(As for the cabbage, I do like cole slaw and egg rolls, so maybe we could work something out!)
“We are supposed to forgive people as well”
You have a point. We need to be forgiving for what people do to us.
We do NOT need to forgive them for what they do to others.
And we can never forget what was done, so that future generations are protected from a repeat (hashen yirachem).
A number of years ago, Tookie Williams was on death row in CA, for killing people in cold blood. While waiting for his turn in the chair, he started to do outreach work with gangs and turned a number of teens and young adults back on the normal civil path.
So what to do with this Tookie? Let him go, because now he’s turned a new leaf and is doing much good and if we cook him, his outreach will stop?
Or do we fry him because of his past deeds?
It was being debated on talk radio, and one of the callers made a very good point. He said forgiveness is G-Ds department. G-d gave us the job of ensuring that justice is served.
A life was taken, and our responsibility is to be sure that the life does not go without having justice served. Its not about feeling sorry for the criminal or about revenge. Its about justice and about making sure that people know that rules of society are meant to be followed. And if those rules are broken, there is a steep price to pay.
If he spends the day (or evening,if its a nighttime date) listening to you without checking his phone every 10 minutes, I’d say you have a winner.
And it works both ways. If the person I’m with is focused on me, then we have a meaningful connection. If they are reading texts while talking, we are fading fast.
We have all experienced this to some degree or another at one point in our lives. I took a scaled back day yesterday as well, considering the enormity of what happened.
But like all of life’s hurdles, we get pst them and move forward. I can’t speak of Lieby, but if it were me, here’s what I would hope to see happen:
For the first few days, mourn. After all, a life was lost.
Then, over the next few days take a good look inside you and see what areas in your personal life need some fine tuning.
And finally, take a really good look at how the accident or situation came to be, and take whatever steps you can to be sure it does not repeat itself. In my case, it was the death of a teen in a car accident. After we got ourselves back on our feet, we instituted rules in our house to make sure to the extent possible, we avoid getting in a situation like that ever again. And no, they were not popular rules, but I and Mrs stood firm. Why? So that the loss of life was not for nothing.
But to just move on like nothing happened? That would be an even bigger tragedy.
B”H This story had a happy ending.
Still would like to know how a 14 y/o boy gets from Upstate NY to Staten Island, but that’s for his parents to find out.
“I davened and lo and behold I met my amazing husband”
Adore –
You’re married? I thought from a previous post you were single.
Which is correct?
Tragic. We really need to rethink the safety of and our responsibilty we have for our kids.
We need to tell our kids, and more importantly, we need to tell ourselves… kids are not mini adults, and we need to start watching them / treating them like the kids they are.
But don’t take my word for it. See how many 11 year olds you see today “watching” their 7, 4 and newborn siblings, while mommy is in the house “resting” (or talking on the phone, or on the avenue shopping.
The kids are ours, and WE are responsible for them.
A very sad day, and even sadder when you consider that very little will be learnt and incorporated from the tragedy.
” lol- a real BPer “
It was a toss up between that line or “why listen to the news when you can make it”.
I’ve used both before, and still stand by both. CR is the place to be, news is for 5 minutes.
“I’d be very interested if there was a single reliable source for that claim.”
Kinda like the way people said if you played heavy metal backwards you’d hear disturbing messages.
Then again, a valid point is this: Certain music does bring out the “darker” side of a person, so there is a reason to choose wisely. I’m less likely to speed when I’m listening to a shuir than I am when I’ve got Lipa’s 24/6 on full blast 🙂
“Mattisyahu really speaks to you?”
Ok, maybe not the way Shloima Carlebach’s Shvartze Volf does, but in its own way, yes, I do like the way Matisyahu interprets tehilim. I have listened to the “Live from Stubbs” recording and the way he makes a shehakol (before taking a drink of water on stage) makes me wonder if my berachos could not stand a little fine tuning.
Much the way Soulfarm’s havdalah makes me rethink how my davening lacks real soul. No, I’m not going to start davening that way for the amud, but it makes me think I might be missing something.
$500 for the season (if you’re a teen)
And Adore – in regards to a post in the NY/LA Bus thread, I now know that Middle is also not on your bus. (but might be on mine!)
Actually was quite fun.
I like your attitude, 123. You are clearly a “top” bochur.
But sad to say, the brand “top” is solely dependent on your media corps. (ei, parent, shadchan, ect).
You could look like Frodo, and have the personality of a cabbage, but from the spin, you’d sound like a star.
Not to worry, though. In the end, we all get married and each spouse makes a star out of their catch.
Even us B+ types
Nothing wrong with Yani, or jazz. (Rap is another story)
But I don’t see how you can compare goyish music to yiddish music. Listen to a song like Tzomo L’cha Nafshi from Mattisyahu and listen to Rocky Mountain High from John Denver, and see which one speaks to your heart (I know which one works for me)
My nightmare come true, is for someone to run an article about the CR and its members.
Happy to hear you’re on the threshold of fame, Bomb.
I just hope I’m not along for the ride 🙁
“and why are you there all together”
Me? I’m there as tznius monitor. As long as the hem lines are 4″ or greater, all is well.
“but I dont like to sit alone ever”
Funny you should say that, because I’ve heard women say they need a partner to go to a shuir. Which I cannot understand, because the whole point of going to a shiur is to listen, not talk. So whats the point of going with a friend? It only encourages you to talk during the shiur (go figure)
“checking out all the places that bpt told her to hang out in”
Yeah,and if I catch her in Center One at 2:00am, she gonna have a whole lotta ‘splainin to do.
No, but whoever was, I sure hope they checked out the gorge. I was there a few years ago, and it is quite a site.
What was going on this Shabbos?
I know a Kraindy, and a Nendy (short for Genendl). They are just as lively as the Dassys, Rifkys and Laychus of the world.
Go for it.
(BTW, does anyone know of a 2nd Vichna? To the best of my knowledge, that name is only heard in connection with Rebbitzin Kaplan)
Me. 99% of the time, its straight to the CR. News I get from the mikvah
Works fine. If you’re Chinese.
Otherwise, stay far away.
And what you also don’t live with, is the guilt she lives with for the averos she committed. From time to time, I have flashbacks of things I did, and it really drags me down. Now imagine that, multiplied by years of being not yet frum.
Highly doubtful she looks back an enjoys the memories. Consider yourself lucky that you managed to sidestep that. Teshuva is between you and Hashem, but you still can’t undo the memories.
OK, now I see where this is headed.
I like a crowd, and enjoy being invited by / inviting people. But if I find myself with an empty afternoon (halevi!) I don’t feel the need to hook up with friends.
When I need to show my face at a dinner or wedding where I don’t necessarily know a whole lotta people, the 1st thing my wife asks is, “who did you sit with?”
My answer: Mr. 9″ plate. (who, by the way, kept me very entertained!)
Passionate about some things (family, yashrus, ect)
Fanatic about other things (fitness, the outdoors)
He meant the thread title in all caps (thats how we shout in the CR)
” Also i grew up without zemiros and i feel like i really missed out. “
So did I. And to fill in the years that I missed, I got a hold of a few tapes, learned the ones that appealed to me, and started a new me.
And no, it does not need to be 4 person harmonies. Sing like you mean it, and enjoy the knowledge that the Boreh Olam is loving every note you belt out.
“btw who left? “
Hard to say, as some posters don’t really “leave”, they just melt into the background, until something really tempting gets left on the table.
In fact, one MIA in particular might find your “moochie gucci” shoutout to irresittable to stay silent much longer.
Lets see if I’m right….
“you can ask mrs bpt for a map of the place”
Or (if your a hijacked husband) you can hook up with me in the parking lot and we can swing over to KJ and chill with the brothas!