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I was in Atlanta on business for a few weeks years ago and have nothing but positive things to say about the community (and not just the Jewish population).
The only thing I found disconcerting is that just about every street and avenue seems to be named with some variation of “peachtree”. How’s a Northeastern Yankee supposed to find his way around the place even with a map?!
Beans are a good source of protein, even when not part of chulent.
Of course, not everyone wants multiple simmering pots sitting on the stove in the summertime (beans can takes hours to cook well), but they can be prepared earlier in the week and served chilled, too.
B’chasdei HaShem, there have been quite a few advancements in the treatment and management of the disease for many sufferers (and their families) that it is not what it was 30 years ago. There’s plenty to be hopeful about the future.
As with any weighty life decision, seek the counsel of parents, one’s rav and other experts in such matters.
I think some people are inclined to stretch the point of the aggadata beyond any mussar messages Chaza”l may have intended to convey.
One is not likely to “know” who one’s bashert is, except perhaps in hindsight.
Like any aspect of one’s life – like seeking a teacher or how to earn a living – one must rely on one’s head more than one’s heart (though that doesn’t mean ignores one’s feelings altogether). Seek the counsel of parents, one’s rav and/or those with experience in these matters.
Possibly, it’s best summed up in the adage: “luck is made, not given.” In this context, it means that once you’ve made your choice, be more concerned about your own behavior and attitudes than about those of your spouse.
That doesn’t mean be a doormat and ignore real incompatibilities (again, relying on advice from parents, rebbeim and experts).
Relationships require effort, compromise and self-sacrifice, requirements some folks never realize or accept.
It’s not as easy to boycott goods from a particular country these days as it was 50 years ago. Even so-called “American” manufactured (assembled?) products contain components manufactured abroad, like automobiles.
Also, companies that founded in one country get bought out by larger corporations across the sea.
For example, Braun is a well-known German manufacturer of consumer products, like shavers, powered toothbrushes, etc. Recently, Proctor & Gamble – an American conglomerate – announced that it was planning to shed a number of its brands, Braun among them. They, themselves, had acquired Braun when they bought out Gillette – another American company – in 2005.
How does a word get classified as proper or improper (foul) speech in the first place?
Often, terms that refer to parts of the body or bodily functions that people are uncomfortable discussing in public are classified as improper except in very limited situations and audiences (like doctors, etc).
Insults, however, can be composed of even the most acceptable words.
Technically speaking, “curse” words only describe those expressions designed to put a “hex” on another person and have nothing to do with foul language.
Having grown up in NYC in the 60s/70s, I could never seem to associate the term “subway” with food in a positive way. 🙁
I don’t even understand how the non-kosher Subway places in NYC stay in business, let alone a kosher place!
The issue seems less about force or coercion than about condescension.
The person giving away his possessions is behaving offensively as the self-appointed spiritual guide of the recipient. It’s as though his “charity” puts him on a higher spiritual plane than “his” beneficiary.
He has essentially “bought” himself a pulpit with housewares and is now lecturing his hapless congregant.
To be truly charitable, perhaps one should make such “donations” anonymously and not learn the identity of the recipients.
Because the hisbodedus one reads about in the biographies and mussar seforim requires a lot of the person undertaking the process. Not everyone is capable of going through it. It’s not some spontaneous gesture one enters into lightly as one might a seminar or drasha.
It requires much training and guidance from those who have achieved that level of spiritual development before, during and especially after the ordeal.
I’m not even sure how many people succeeded at it in previous generations. However, in our day, not too many people are in such an enviable position.
Even if there are such people, it’s unlikely they’d advertise their accomplishment.
I like to explore how kids think, so when a friend’s son was about to celebrate his 4th birthday I asked him: “How many years did it take you to turn 4?”
He thought for a moment and announced “6 years!”
Yaakov/Yankif
Tehillim 114:7 (second paragraph of Hallel), second to last word (shem HaShem), final vowel. Should be pronounced “ahh” not “hha”, similar to the final vowel of “Noach”.
I think the reasoning behind the rabbi’s psak against lifting weights was because throughout the ages since the printing press yeshiva bochorim got the same benefit dashing about the beis medrash searching for and carrying piles of seforim or back from the forest toting logs of wood for the fireplace.
The very idea that one would expend one’s time and energy lifting random objects for no other purpose is wasteful.
With most topics, if one waits long enough, someone else is likely to post one’s own idea. Seeing the same remark again an again drains the discussion instead of adding to it.
Obviously, a dedicated location for a minyan costs money. Whether it’s in some open field, a room in a commercial building, a residence or a dedicated synagogue, someone’s bearing the expense (ie: someone owns the field, even if it’s the tax-funded township).
The more numerous or fancier the amenities, the higher the costs. Expenses exceeding donations and fund-raising events must be covered somehow.
Membership dues is the most common and fair-minded approach to bridging any shortfall, usually adjusted by ability to pay.
If nobody pays, nobody prays (at least, not there).
This isn’t rocket science.
This is slightly off topic, but few, if any, modern bakeries have stone/brick ovens for bread (too expensive, etc).
That’s the reason Rye or Corn bread with the crispy crust and soft interior – which I think is the best – is a thing of the past.
I miss it (sniff).
Personally, I think things would go a lot more smoothly were we notified early on who our bashert is. That would not only save time, but would avoid all the worrying, hurt feelings, disappointments and probably a lot of divorces.
All in favor, say “Aye!”
🙂
“You’re not as XYZ as I expected!”. where XYZ is among the following: Tall, thin, handsome, Jewish, Ashkenazi, wealthy, smart, accomplished, young, well-mannered, educated, well-dressed, on-time, frum, witty, interesting, clean, dumb, cheap, ugly, slovenly, etc.
Pick up a copy of “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Learning Yiddish” by Rabbi Benjamin Blech (please don’t take offense at the title). While you won’t become a Yiddish speaker from this book alone, the author offers valuable suggestions and references for further study.
Would one suppose that Shlomo HaMelech also designed the shape of the pieces (like, the cross on the king, r”l)? Perhaps the theory is that he put his own symbol on the original and it was changed as other empires came to power.
Some people find it helpful to stay off caffeine (soda, coffee, tea, etc.) during the nine days to limit caffeine withdrawal symptoms on the day of the fast itself.
Machine kneidlach vs hand kneidlach?
I’d reply that while I do occasionally post to that web site, I do so anonymously and have no plans to confirm or deny authorship of a particular item.
I’d like my ideas to be judged on their merit and not on someone’s opinion of me personally. Similarly, I would not want someone to pigeon hole my views based on posts I made on other issues.
More than likely, your host wants you to enjoy their hospitality and would be devastated were you to suffer an allergic (or other) reaction to something they served.
You really owe it to them, as well as yourself, to explain your situation.
If you know, for example, that you can digest bread made from Spelt or some other grain, you might suggest that alternative. Some bakeries and supermarkets sell kosher baked goods made from spelt, etc.
Perhaps, though you cannot eat bread, you can eat Matzoh. Discuss your dietary options with your physician.
Enjoy your Shabbos.
I think a person should simply learn to let go, as difficult as it might be. The world is a very large place and people we interact with at one point in our lives are often long gone at another.
To insist on a subjective and elusive idea of “fairness” is to set one’s self up for disappointment. It’s far better in the long run to let go and move on.
I think that’s the idea behind the tefilah zaka, customarily recited erev Yom Kippur.
As a heavy user (pun intended) of artificial sweeteners, I can confidently refute claims…um…that long-term…uh…use deadens brain…er…what was the question?
A physician warns his patient to control his weight or risk becoming ‘gadol hador’, but not in a good way.
Patient: “Not good?! Finally, I’d have a respectable source for the things I say!”
(sigh) sorry…I’m just in one of my moods.
Much has been made about a defect of sudden acceleration found in a large number of Toyota vehicles.
It is not unique to Toyota.
This defect can be observed in any make and model whenever a traffic signal turns yellow!
The distinction between liturgical music and that composed merely for entertainment has been mentioned. But, even that distinction can get blurred.
In the Orthodox shul I attended back in the 70s, there was a brief period when the some of the younger adults would “creatively” incorporate into the kedusha of Shabbos musaf popular melodies heard on the radio and in theater (I don’t think they ever consulted the Rabbi beforehand).
Probably the most bizarre of the lot I can recall was a visitor who used the title track from the Broadway musical: ‘JC Superstar’.
The practice stopped not long after that.
Suggested answer:
There’s the ideological parallel of the ‘shulchan’ on which one ate and the ‘mizbeach’ of the beis hamikdash. The reference to Eliyahu HaNavi is a prayer to herald the coming of Moshiach which precedes the rebuilding of the beis hamikdash.
Then comes hakaras hatov to those who helped in providing us with the meal.
I’ve been to a few chassanas that gave some thought to this issue and came up with what I consider a simple and clever solution. The invitations let guests decide which part of the simcha they would attend and set things up accordingly.
The choice was to participate from the beginning (the “shmorg”) through the chuppah or from the chuppah through the dinner.
That not only gave the guests an honorable way to avoid exhaustion (not to mention baby-sitting fees), but also to limit the cost of the affair to some extent.
Regarding the story about R’ Moshe, ZT”L, considering the weight of the world he carried on his shoulders, it was truly a neis that he could sleep each night, other than out of sheer exhaustion! What a gift we had in such a person in our time.
FYI (NY Mom, et al): The name of the bakery in Passaic, NJ is Yochie’s Heimishe Bakery, not Zeidy’s.
You physician would be a good person to consult, but the usual advice given to people who have trouble sleeping at night is:
1. Avoid caffeinated drinks at least 5 hours before bedtime.
2. Avoid strenuous activity at least an hour before bedtime.
3. Avoid napping during the day (and limit it on Shabbos).
4. Bedroom should be quiet, dark and slightly cooler than during the day (slightly cooler, not cold!)
5. Bedclothes shouldn’t be tight or restrictive
6. No pets in the bedroom (and certainly not on the bed)
7. Once in bed, try to rid one’s mind of upsetting thoughts and worries.
In my opinion, too many musicians join these bands with a different agenda than merely entertaining their audience or earning a living. This affects not only volume, but the style of music selected and even the choices of instruments that comprise the band.
I believe that in many cases, these young fellows have a strong desire to promote a self-image like the performers they most admire: the secular rock and roll hero (this seems especially true of guitarists and drummers). This is dream-fulfillment, not entertainment.
In the secular music scene, the perception is that loud is better and more dramatic (and, in too many cases, that volume can make up for lack of training/ability).
A change in this behavior will not occur until the clients vote with their money. If clients demand only Yiddishe-sounding melodies with an old-fashion, Klezmer-like band, they’ll get it. But, if the clients are themselves fans of rock and roll and encourage that venue, then we can’t only blame the bands.
With this change, at first, there will be a reduction in the variety of the musical selections and every affair will sound more alike. But, over time, musicians will adapt, and compose/learn new tunes in the style – and volume – that their audience will appreciate.
The challenge for the shadchan is trying to gauge what a person finds “attractive”. Even if the shadchan personally considers a client overweight, it doesn’t mean that the person going out with this client will agree with that assessment.
Of course, as others have said, morbidly obese may be a whole different issue. The shadchan would most likely notify the obese client that this information will be revealed beforehand to prospective dates. It’s then up to that client whether to proceed under those conditions.
As another already posted, without budget disclosure by the day schools, it’s impossible to explain significant tuition differences even within the same state, let alone address them.
Even taking into consideration differing median income levels between towns (http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/), it’s hard to fathom how base-line tuition in in the lower grades in my town, for example, is ~$9K/yr while in a town 10 miles away the cost is almost double for the same grade). Where does that “extra” money go?
1. chashash of bugs in fruits/berries/veggies I’d like to eat
2. passing a really good pizza place when I’m fleishig
3. not running the A/C on what turns out to be a really hot/humid Shabbos
4. someone saying the excellent pshat I thought of, but didn’t say
5. realizing that the microwaveable bowl I just used isn’t
6. shirt stains that won’t come out
7. the mysterious ripping noise heard earlier in the day was the sound of losing a tzitzit
Here’s a simple dish called “Tuna Special” we used to get as kids:
1. Mix and heat up mushroom barley soup (store-bought worked for us) and tuna.
2. Prepare servings of white rice.
3. Soup/tuna is served over rice.
Be happy to be bored at work as opposed to being bored out of work!
According to the S”A (56:1), one should answer Kaddish in a “loud voice”, but the M”B (56:5) cautions against saying it so loudly as to cause others to ridicule him.
At the minyan I daven, one fellow just belts out YS”R the way some folks holler when at sporting events (lehavdil). It’s quite uncomfortable to hear – for me, at least – and makes it difficult to concentrate.
Since I’m fairly certain this person feels he’s following the S”A, I say nothing. Perhaps he’s right, since the people at that minyan are mentshlach and don’t ridicule those who behave differently. Given that, technically, I guess he’s in compliance with the M.B., too!
Not long after I relocated to a new position at a former employer, a woman at my previous location won a big state lottery (this is decades ago). According to what I heard, she intended to keep on working, but was soon pressured with requests (demands?) for loans and hand-outs by an ever increasing pool of co-workers that she eventually felt compelled to resign.
Kind of sad, but somewhat predictable.
Be discreet about winning a large sum of money.
I enjoy the Jerusalem Restaurant on Rt 10 in Livingston, NJ (cafeteria-style, no table service). With their “combination” platters, one could go there dozens of times and not have the same thing twice! I think their product is very good.
Is he related to the Rabbi of the Chabad synagogue “The Shul” in Bal Harbour/Surfside, FL?
One thing that has amazed me about Passover get-away packages is that people are able to afford them!
Someone once summarized it for me this way: assuming the cost is roughly $2000/day per person, that works out to about $16K/person for an 8-day stay. By extension, a family of, say, 5 people would have to come up with $80K for that vacation!
Wow!
cherrybim…I’d very much like to read the procedures you’ve found effective for broccoli (with florets), etc. thx!
Nice post by ‘cherrybim’ about Romaine lettuce, but what about more “difficult” vegetables like broccoli (the florets), cauliflower, brussels sprouts and scallions?