Calling Women By Their First Name
One should not call other peoples wife’s by their first name. For relatives one can be lenient. Many people are not careful with this and it has to be corrected. Tznius is something that has to be learned. The best way is to promote an elevated level of tzinus in the relaxed summer setting, whether in a bungalow colony or elsewhere. A person should use chuchmah and seichel and not put themselves into potential harmful situations. Therefore, one should talk in a manner reflects tznius and self control. These tiny breaches if not controlled can be openings for dangerous situations.
Compiled by Rabbi Moishe Dovid Lebovits who can be reached at[email protected]
Reviewed by Rabbi Ben-zion Schiffenbauer Shlita
All Piskei Harav Yisrael Belsky Shlita are Reviewed by Harav Yisrael Belsky Shlita
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3 Responses
For relatives one can be lenient.
I find it very interesting that the author chose to use the words “can be lenient” rather than “is permitted.” So, m’ikar hadin, should a person really call his married daughter “Mrs. X” instead of her first name?
The Wolf
This invites a number questions:
1) What is the exact source of this halacha? Shulchan Aruch?
2) Does apply for a woman, too? Should she also not call somebody’s else’s husband by his first name?
3) Is this an eitzah (“shouldn’t”) or is it plain assur? D’Oraisa? D’Rebbanan?
4) In former times, before governments forced us to have last names (you couldn’t say “Mrs X” because there wasn’t “X”), how did someone address someone else’s spouse?
5) If someone is already so used to calling another person’s wife by their first name (could be a co-worker, employee, or someone in the bungalow colony you’ve seen for years) and then they change to calling them Mrs X or Geveres X, could this not be seen as humorous (possibly even flirtatious) in at least some contexts? Maybe, one needs also to at least as careful with context (e.g. body language and tone of voice) as with content?
Yes, I do intend to ask the Rabbi by email.
Wolf, I don’t think this is referring to daughters. More like cousins or in-laws.