Towards the end of this week’s Sedra the Torah recounts an episode involving a man with a Jewish mother and an Egyptian father.  The Torah tells us simply that this individual got into a fight with a Jewish man, and presents the brief anecdote in the form of a riddle.  It is Chazal who explain to us what is going on.

The Torah tells us that the man of mixed descent blasphemed Hashem. The Torah tells us that his mother’s name was שלומית בת דיברי. Rashi explains that the reason her name is given is in order to make it clear this woman was the only one among all the Jews of Egypt who lived illicitly with a man other than her husband. Rashi explains further that her name even hints to the fact that she wasn’t modest in her ways: Shlomis that she would ask all the men as to their Shalom – well-being, and Dibri that she was Medaber – spoke to all men. Rashi’s explanations are direct quotes from the Medrash Rabba (Shemos and Emor).  Rashi only quotes the parts of the Medrash that imply that this woman cheated on her husband. The Medrash, however,  is quite clear that she did so without intent and unknowingly.

The Medrash explains that the Egyptian man who cohabited with שלומית בת דיברי was the very Egyptian that Moshe Rabeinu later killed. The Medrash tells us that this Egyptian man was the overall slave master for a group of ten Jewish slave captains each of ten Jewish assistant slave masters. The Medrash explains that he noticed the great beauty of his Jewish slave captain’s wife and he desired to be intimate with her (in Vayikra – Emor Rabba the Medrash is almost identical). The Medrash explains that the Egyptian overlord came early in the morning to wake this Jewish slave master and he then took the slave captain’s place in bed. Thus his wife didn’t realize that the man next to her wasn’t her husband, and it wasn’t until her husband returned that she realized what had happened (the Medrash in Vayikra Rabba says as well that she realized only at that point). The Egyptian slave master somehow realized that this Jewish slave captain had found out what he had done to his wife, and consequently intensified his oppression of the Jewish slave captain many fold – almost to the point of death. It was at this point Moshe Rabeinu saw what was going on, and through Ruach Hakodesh (Devine Inspiration) understood exactly what was going on between this slave master and his Jewish slave captain. Moshe Rabeinu therefore acted to save the Jew’s life by killing the Egyptian.

Although the Medrash in Vayikra Raba sees in the name שלומית בת דיברי negative connotations, it hardly seems to accuse her of actually willingly committing adultery. The Medrash also says that she was the only woman who cohabited with another man illicitly. There seems to be some sort of inherent contradiction in the Medrash.  Without the statement that שלומית בת דיברי was the only woman to have committed adultery, it would have been understood that although she didn’t commit adultery willingly, but rather accidentally – there still was inappropriate behavior on her part. While the actual adulterous act was committed unbeknown to her, by fraternizing with men in the ways indicated by the Medrash, she did contribute to instigating the incident.

Perhaps this is really the message of the Medrash – that שלומית בת דיברי was the only woman who contributed through her immodest behavior to instigate such an attack on herself. While the Mitzrim constantly acted in an immoral way with Jewish women (see Pesach Hagada), שלומית בת דיברי was the only one who contributed, however unwittingly, to the unfortunate culmination we know.

The episode of  שלומית בת דיברי provides a very potent message as to how significant the role of facilitator, of contributing agent can be. There is however yet an even more specific lesson to be learned regarding the concept of tznius (modesty, or more accurately, dignity) and morality. Dignity and morality aren’t merely what we do, but rather how we do what we do, and how we present ourselves to others. We need to be conscious not only of what is right, but of how others might see and interpret our actions and behavior.

A very warm Good Shabbos, Rabbi Y. Dov Krakowski