Yitzchak Avinu feels he is nearing death. Before he passes on, he wants to transmit the Brocho Avrohom Avinu gave to him to Eisav his son. Yitzchok, however, doesn’t simply call Eisav and give him the Brocho. He instead summons him and asks him to prepare a meal. Why doesn’t Yitzchok Avinu just give him the Brocho and be finished with it? Furthermore, Yitzchok tells him “prepare me the meal the way I like it so as to enable my soul to bless you”. This statement has two inherent difficulties: 1) how does Yitzchok’s eating enable him to give Eisav a Brocho? 2) Why does Yitzchok, one of the holiest people to have lived, require Eisav to make the food the way he “loves” it?

The Seforno explains that while Yitzchok may not have understood how bad Eisav was, he nonetheless realized that his son wasn’t a Tzadik. Yitzchok therefore felt the necessity of having Eisav perform Mitzvos so as to enable him to bless his son. By stipulating that Eisav should make it for him the way he loved it, Yitzchok Avinu was adding another dimension to Eisav’s act of Kibud Av – he was making special demands that increased the Mitzva and made it all the more meaningful. The Baal Haturim (and the Medrash) adds that “the way I love it” is a reference to Shechita and all its sub Mitzvos (Kisuy hadam etc.).

Yitzchok Avinu didn’t ask Eisav to go learn a few hours or to do Chessed. Yitzchok Avinu focused on Eisav’s strong points – on his talents. Yitzchok Avinu tried to channel Eisav’s hunting skills to Kibud Av. Yitzchok Avinu understood the only conduit, if any, that could be used in order to have Eisav as part of the Mesorah would be his own talents. Yitzchok understood that Eisav needed to be encouraged and appreciated in order to allow “brocho” to befall him.

While Eisav didn’t end up getting Bircas Avrohom, he did receive a Brocho from Yitzchok Avinu. We well know through our sufferings that Yitzchok’s Brocho to Eisav did materialize.

Fighting with our children will not facilitate Brocho. Only appreciation and encouragement will allow them to flourish. While sometimes children need to be reprimanded and chastised, the overall approach must remain appreciation and encouragement. We must appreciate their talents and we must encourage those talents in such a way that they are translated into Mitzvos.

A very warm Good Shabbos, Rabbi Y. Dov Krakowski