[THIS WAS PUBLISHED BY YWN THE DAY AFTER PURIM 2009]
Dear YWN,
So now that we sobered up its time to reflect on what happened this Purim.
As I decide on which method is best to dispose of all the food on my table, I can’t help notice all the “Purim themes” that I need to toss into the garbage. The boxes, cases, ribbons, poems, vases, cookbooks all to be trashed, not even paying any attention into the effort that went into preparing these “holy” pieces of art. It’s become so normal, and we are so immune to this insanity, that anything less is considered sub‐standard. My grandmother gave me an orange and a piece of homemade cake, and that’s what she gave her neighbors 50 years ago as well. But if you try that with your neighbor, forget about marrying off your kids any time soon. I see people that undoubtedly are living off public assistance, but are delivering Shaloch Monas to their mother‐ laws, draped with paraphernalia and with a theme demonstrating total nonsense, all so that they are up to par with the other sister and sister in‐laws in the family.
Imagine for a minute that 30,000 families in Boro Park would choose to pass on the insanity, and each family would instead donate $150 to a communal fund. That’s $4,500,000 that can be put to good use. We can have a subsidized wedding hall where all our children’s Rebbeim can make a wedding for close to nothing. Or maybe, a fund to help Rebbeim and teachers that are several months behind on their salaries, pay their bills.
But who can head a campaign like this? The answer is probably no one, but history has shown that these types of prohibitions can work. Take for example the R’ Moshe Isserlish (the Rama of the Shilchun Aruch). He felt that fur coats being worn by women were causing animosity amongst the non Jewish poor peasants and provoking anti Semitism. He prohibited women from wearing these coats, and people listened. But times have changed. We are smarter than our Rabbis. We know what’s best for us, and the key is to “Live and let live”.
I couldn’t help notice all the ads in the Jewish newspapers warning everyone about the dangers of drinking on Purim. I am sure that everyone reads these warnings with awe and trepidation. I am sure that the success of these ads in previous years prompted these organizations to continue spending money on full page color ads in various newspapers.
Well, here is my story. I pulled up to a gas station and beside me, a group of yeshiva boys pulled up as well. They were so stoned that they made an Irish pub on New Year’s look like a Kindergarten birthday party. They were screaming, vomiting, and one guy exposed himself and went to the bathroom right there in front of everyone.
What a Kiddush Hashem.
At night, I went to daven maariv at Shomer Shabbos and was attacked by some drunken boys, pelted with snow balls, and heckled. Had I been a goy, I probably would have put those kids in the hospital for 2 months. I guess the ads didn’t work.
If the Yeshivas had guts, they would warn their student’s days before Purim, and threaten to suspend any boy found stoned drunk on Purim. The embarrassment of not being able to attend yeshiva would undoubtedly put the fear of g‐d in most boys, and after a few examples have been set, the problem would d probably disappear. But that would never work because the first boy that would have to be suspended would be the son of a wealthy supporter of the Yeshiva. OK, scratch that idea.
In my opinion, Purim has spiraled into something unforeseen by Chazal, and only mirrors what society at large has evolved into.
Although I have proposed some ideas mitigating some of the problems, the true answer lies within ourselves. We need to decide not to ride the tide, but to do what’s right. If on our own we change ourselves, pray to G‐d for guidance and protection, and show our children, early on, the love and direction they need, we can believe that the Ribono Shel olanm will do the rest.
Name Withheld Upon Request
NOTE: The views expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of YWN.
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5 Responses
yes i have an idea. you know how in Drivers ed class in public school they show kids gory pictures of accidents and what happens if you drink and drive. thats what we need to show Yeshiva students. Pics of people getting their stomach pumped in the ER. car accidents with fatalities, pics of bachurim laying in the street, or better yet, a father RL spending Purim day at a morg iD ing his son. (yes this happened to my friend) That is what will get the message across. IMHO
I’ll tell you what it has turned into – our holy Purim seuda has turned into Ahashverosh’s banquet instead!
“Pics of people getting their stomach pumped in the ER. car accidents with fatalities,…”
Won’t work. Teenagers think “not me, I’m invincible”. Top that with “I’m doing a great mitzvah” and all you warnings go out the door.
_
“I’ll tell you what it has turned into – our holy Purim seuda has turned into Ahashverosh’s banquet instead!”
We are still much more moral than them. Even when drunk.
Can we erase the first half of this letter. The shalach manos are everyone’s choice, so let them enjoy their ribbons and poems. If everyone would buy green pepper instead of red and donate the extra to a communal fund we would also have alot of money. If everyone would make their own coffee instead o buying it we could make millions. If everyone would eat tops instead of bottoms we could save 300 dollars per family per year resulting in a communal fund twice as big. STOP WORRYING ABOUT HOW PEOPLE SPEND THEIR MONEY.
I would like to comment on the shaloch manot. Although some good cheer and friendship undoubtedly result, this is such a waste of food and money. Especially when the next morning, the hunting/cleaning season on chometz begins, and the office benefits from the assorted snacks. The bonanza goes to the grocery stores, as they embark on their busiest and possibly most profitable time of year.
IMHO, a family should only send shaloch manot to two or three friends that they are close to or feel some debt of gratitude to. The shaloch manot should also be something substantial and not snack/silly foods. Whatever cash you save can be put towards matanot levyonim. Some may think I am putting a damper on their simchah, but a table full of “junk food” is a waste.