Dear Editor:
One of the most difficult and trying periods in one’s life occurs when experiencing the death of an immediate family member R”l. Compounding the inevitable shock and sadness is the compelling obligation to arrange for a prompt funeral and burial according to Halacha. Often the first organization contacted by the family during this traumatic time is the local Chevra Kadisha (burial society).
Unfortunately, some local Chevra Kadisha members act outside the bounds of Halacha, general decency, and the laws of New York State. It is imperative that our community be aware of this pervasive phenomenon and thus arm itself with the ability to resist falling victim to it.
Specifically, during the emotionally vulnerable period before burial of the niftar, some Chevra Kadisha representatives apply inordinate pressure upon the grieving families by insisting that they utilize the services of a particular favored funeral home. They sometimes claim to have a “contract” with that funeral home and may even threaten to not bury the deceased — although the burial plot is legally owned by the family (and often was purchased from that same Chevra Kadisha) — unless the family agrees to patronize their “recommended” funeral home. (In one case I‘m familiar with, a member of a certain Chevra Kadisha is simultaneously employed at one of the local funeral homes.) Moreover, some “volunteers” of a certain Bikur Cholim engage in steering unsuspecting grieving family members to a particular funeral home. It has also occurred in Boro Park that a certain Chevra Kadisha insisted that a niftar be physically transported from one funeral home to another, an especially appalling violation of Halacha and Bizayon HaMes.
The deplorable behavior and unholy alliances I describe not only stifle competition; they also add potentially millions of dollars in funeral costs to members of the Boro Park, Williamsburg and Flatbush communities, many of whom can ill afford the inflated expenses. And besides denying grieving families their rightful free choice, the practice is transparently illegal.
Article 32, Section 3208 (d) of the New York State Insurance Law states: “No person, firm, association, society, or corporation engaged in this state in the business of providing for the payment of funeral, burial or other expenses of deceased members, whether or not it be subject to other provisions of this chapter, and no insurer shall: (1) deliver or issue for delivery in this state any contract or policy whereby the benefit or any part thereof accruing under such contract or policy, upon the death of such member or of the person insured, shall be payable to a designated or restricted funeral director or funeral directing concern or other person engaged in such trade or business, or to any official or designated group of them; or (2 ) pay any such benefit or any part thereof to any funeral director or funeral directing concern or other person engaged in such trade or business or to any official or designated group of them, without the consent of the person or persons entitled to such benefits; or (3) in any way deprive the personal representative or family of the deceased of the advantage of competition in procuring and purchasing supplies and services in connection with the burial of such deceased.”
Without doubt, it is a mitzvah to publicize the aforementioned.
Sincerely,
Usher Piller – Flatbush.
NOTE: The views expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of YWN.
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13 Responses
If it is a mitzvah to make this public, it is a mitzvah to name who does this.
Unfortunately, the vast preponderance of chevra kadishas in Boro Park and Williamsburg are involved in the unethical practices that were described. Only a very small minority are not.
Ever wonder why funeral homes are plentiful in most neighborhoods but a place like Williamsburg has only one? Do our brethren there have a life expectancy of 160? And while Boro Park, amazingly, has two, one of them is shunned by most chevra kadishas? Almost everyone in these communities is aware of this.
A cheverah kadishah is a business as well as a public service organization. They have certain expenses and they can enter into commercial agreements with certain preferred service providers as. If the family of the niftar believes they are being pressured, we are fortunate in the NYC area that there is no shortage of alternative groups that will handle the levayah in accordance with halacha.
To “Gadolhadorah”: Please read the language in Article 32, Section 3208(d)above and you will see that the “commercial agreements” you describe are illegal, as it is illegal to coerce families to use a certain funeral services provider.
welcome to the corrupt country of the USA.
BUT its not just the government that’s corrupt. how many acts of corruption are you involved in? how many gov. programs are you a part of when your really not entitled to it? how many times have you charged a customer more,, by convincing yourself that he’s rich or I just decided to raise my prices etc…
start doing teshuva now, step by step
1)HONESTY: %100 in all cases from jobs to taxes etc…
2)sit down with your spouse/business partner & look through your records for anyone that you charged more then regular price & return it to them (no need to confess or cause embarrassment, just mail them a money order)
3)remove all programs that you not entitled to honestly & pay the honest full tuition that you can afford.
BOTTOM LINE: honestly is the key to success in everything, from family to friendship & business etc…
the only way for Hashem to send a person livelihood & riches is for the person who can show Hashem that he can spend his money wisely & honestly (not vacations & 3 cars etc…) HATZLACHA
To Mr. Piller, I don’t who you are and who you meant with your nice story, obviously you have an agenda to hurt someone. first of all you dont know what you are talking, when you are a member of a society, you don’t own the grave, you have the right to be buried there, it’s owned by the chevra kadisha and you have to obey by thier rules and regulations, that may include but not limited as to who does the tahara, the caasket you use, the tachrichim you use, what to write on the stone and which chapels to use, etc. whoever is member of a socity, is very well aware of it. my advise you is, it’s before rosh hashona and stop with your loshan hora and rechiles.
To #6 “chevrakadish”:
I gave my name. You didn’t.
This says alot.
#6, he was talking about people owning the grave outright. If you think that death is not a business, then you clearly are not in the chevra kaddisha.
mr. piller i don’t have to give you my name, just read the comment and adjust your life.
to #8 he is talking about a society owned grave, otherwise why does the family need the chevra kadisha involved at all , let them use which ever chapel they want, no one can stop them
The only chevra kadisha that I know of that does not do any of the posted is Lakewood Chevra Kadisha. They always handle down the costs for the family.
Usher – I remember you from PEF. I was unaware of the problem until seeing your letter. I’m more familiar with chevra kadishas out of town where they are all volunteers and there is no coercion.
#6, I think Mr. Piller’s agenda is clear – to publicize that it is illegal for burial societies to make rules and contracts that don’t give the families the ability to choose a funeral home they prefer. I don’t see why it would matter if the plot is owned by the society or not.
Here’s the relevant part of the law he cites: “No person, firm, association, society… in any way deprive the… family of the deceased of the advantage of competition in procuring and purchasing supplies and services in connection with the burial of such deceased.”
Besides, Mr. Piller specifically points out that the burial plot is legally owned by the family. I own a plot purchased from a heimish chevra kadisha and the contract to my understanding gives me legal ownership. I’m a member of that society and was definitely not made aware that I’ll need to use a specific funeral home.
There’s no funeral home or chevra kadisha mentioned, so I don’t see the loshan hora and rechiles here. My advice to Mr. Piller is, it’s before rosh hashona: continue to publicize issues that can benefit the klal and root out wrongdoing wherever it may exist.
To all those concerned about the relationship between chapels and chevros
Please be advised of the following facts:
1.As per New York State LAW, cemeteries are the only entities permitted to sell graves.
2.Those organizations that purchase graves may, at their own discretion, sell rights of burial to their members ONLY.
3.Organizations are permitted to set rules for burials in their respective cemetery parcels and the members are bound by these rules.
4.Organizations may arrange for special considerations, financial or otherwise, to be given to their members from chapels and other chapels are not bound by these arrangements.
5. Organizations are not permitted to force families to engage or contract for a funeral with a participating chapel.
6.Organizations have a moral, if not legal, responsibility to inform members of any financial benefit gained by engaging a participating chapel for the funeral.
7.Organizations must, as per LAW, pay any chapel the same amount of money being paid by the organization to a participating chapel for the purchase of burial benefits provided to members.This to include, but not limited to, a coffin, a shroud, funeral vehicles, tahara, use of chapel for hespaidim, tahara room, mikveh, sh’mira, etc.
8. Member’s families are responsible to pay their selected chapel any difference, if any, in the prices charged to the organization.
9.Organizations can not withhold rights of burial if a family chooses to contract with a non participating chapel.
10.Families have every right in the world to institute an action against a chapel, organization or their respective representatives if they think they were mistreated or misled.
11.Many families have been unfortunately misled by seemingly fine people costing untold thousands of dollars.
Please be advised of the following suggestions:
1.Representatives of chapels and any organizations should not be waiting at, nor even near, the bedside of a possible niftar unless specifically sought out and requested by the family.
2.The first call should logically be made to the organization to inquire about available benefits and the cost of using their participating chapel. They should know all the prices.
3.The second call should be to the chapel(s) of your choice, if any, to compare prices with the participating chapel including any extra cost for the organizational burial benefits.
4.The chapel, selected by the family, should or will contact the organization to arrange for the tahara that the organization requires as well as obtaining the burial permit for the cemetery.
5.Bikur Cholim organizations and Hatzolah that attend to families at home, hospitals or nursing facilities should prepare and distribute the names, addresses and telephone numbers of all chapels, specifically those that are owned and operated by frum families, ie: (in alphabetical order; Kehila Chapels -718-332-3311 owned by Jacobson Family-Brooklyn: Shomrei Hadas Chapel – 718-436-8700- owned by Seidenfeld Family-Brooklyn: Shomrei Hachomos Chapel 718-435-8100 owned by Friedman Family-Chicago: Yereim Chapel 718-384-6784 owned by Brach Family-Brooklyn).
6.Families should insist that they make their own telephone calls to the chapel and not permit anyone else to “help”.
7.Members or representatives of a chevra kadisha should not be permitted in hospitals unless called by a family nor should they also be a member of Haztolah. This is distasteful and inappropriate.
8.The general public should contact hospitals to convey their concerns regarding any “chevra kadisha groups they permit or tolerate to roam in their buildings awaiting an opportunity to direct or steer business to their favorite chapel. It is clear that their “chesed” is only self serving since all else is really equal.