In a momentous meeting of gedolei Torah in Eretz Yisroel, Rav Uri Deutsch, one of Lakewood’s foremost rabbanim, sat down with the venerated Rosh Yeshiva, Harav Dov Landau, to discuss a matter that weighs heavily on Klal Yisroel’s collective heart—the ongoing shidduch crisis.
With Harav Moshe Hillel Hirsch’s proposal quickly gaining traction in America, Rav Uri sought daas Torah from the revered Rosh Yeshiva: Is it appropriate to ask girls to wait before entering shidduchim while encouraging boys to begin earlier?
Without hesitation, Rav Dov’s response was unequivocal: Extraordinary circumstances call for extraordinary solutions.
Not only did Rav Dov Landau endorse the plan, but in a resounding show of achrayus, he added his signature to the kol koreh calling for its implementation, joining a growing chorus of gedolei Torah.
The proposal—for boys to enter shidduchim earlier while girls wait slightly longer—is a bold one, a shift in the long-standing system that the gedolim backing it are not taking lightly.
With this historic haskama from one of the ziknei hador hador, the call to action has grown louder than ever.
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27 Responses
If they put into Cherem, forbidding any social contact, with any girl who gets engaged before age 23 (and her husband to the Cherem if they actually get married) , it can have a stronger affect.
Boys earlier but why make girls wait. Learn from the chassidim. Marry at 17 18 not past twenty. You can marry and go learn. Why stay single. No wonder chassidim are taking over as they marry young and by the time a non chosid marrys at 23 or 24 the chosid has four or five kids.
This settles it once and for all as the gadol hador himself endorses this change. I do not understand how anyone can go against this, when ALL the gedolim are now on board. Anyone coming out against this monumental change deserves to be put in cherem it is mamosh sakonos nefoshos of our helige maydoloch.
That’s the solution for everyone and everyone will be happily married . Problem solved!)) .
What’s our next problem to solve 100 percent?
Not sure why the girls need to be begged to wait ?
Do they think they have a crisis or don’t they ?
lakewoodbt
Hahahahaha !
I do not understand how anyone can be commenting on internet news sites, when ALL the gedolim are now on board that internet is chazir treif.
And your assertion that one who does not want to postpone marrying off his daughter sooner should be put in cherem reminds me of how Miriam lectured her father Amram – Totty – you are worse than Pharaoh who only wanted to kill the boys !! Totty – you are holding back both boys and girls from being born
I am dumbfounded as to how the achrayos is being taken to hold back girls of marriageable age from creating there future doros.
WE NEED TO GET OUR DAUGHTERS MARRIED, NOT FORCE THEM TO REMAIN SINGLE
BH lets get this started….its to late for me. But at least others with get helped…
Signed lonely single girl
A sincere yasher koach to all the rabbanim and askanim involved in this effort. The pain of waiting for a shidduch is immense, and it is heartwarming to see such concern in addressing this massive issue.
I personally know amazing girls who are still waiting, davening, and hoping. Seeing this initiative gives me such comfort knowing Klal Yisroel truly cares and real change is possible! Thank you to all involved for your efforts!! It means the world!!!
Oy vey, this is what the oilam came up with?! This is the eitzah hagedolah to fix the shidduch crisis?! To push bochurim to get married when they’re still kids, barely outta their diapers?! What in the world is going on here?!
A bochur at 18, 19—he’s just shtiging, barely figuring himself out, finally getting a shmeck of real learning, and now we’re telling him, “Nu, time to get married”? Does anybody think for one second about the responsibility, the achrayus, the parnassah, the chinuch, the whole sugyah of building a bayis ne’eman b’Yisroel?! Since when do we make takanos based on numbers alone, without looking at the real metzius of a bochur’s growth and readiness?!
And the bnos Yisroel—what kind of eitzah is this for them? To make them wait?! What does that even mean? A girl who’s ready for marriage should wait around because we suddenly decided to make a takanah?! Since when do we play with people’s lives like this?!
Can someone be masbir this to me?
It’s a joke but………..dem girls gotta learn gefilta fish
I heard that going to the Army is a segulah for a good shidduch both for boys and girls. Torah hints of that in the parsha of yefas tora. A freiliche Purim to all.
The Pic of a gabai saying over something while rav uri is quiet , with no papers with data…is not a shaloh of the dor is discussed and paskened
Pls put up the video of the whole shakla vetarya ,
Real Yid: Please Please Please stop spreading misinformation, pessimism and cynicsm, about the Shidduch crisis and the solution, between 85-95 percent of the girls are EITHER WAY CURRENTLY not getting engaged before the Shavous after the first year in seminary. They simply feel bad that they can’t get dates – the reason for which is that they started shidduchim too early. The small percentage that got engaged before then will now wait a few more months, which will hurt no one, and ensure they and all other Bnos Yisroel have a more leveled playing field when they do enter shidduchim after Shavous. The solution presented by the Gedolim, is backed by Daas Torah, data, and plain old common sense.
Even if it isn’t a complete solution, it is the start of Klal Yisroel solving this problem bezh, instead of just complaining about it, and the success of this solution will breed the success of other solutions, building off the momentum of the successful implementation of this solution.
For the sake of Klal Yisroel, Bnos Yisroel, Your Neshama after 120 and your guilty conscience, please don’t be cool a hot bathtub )אמבטיא רותחת), and spread misinformation, cynicism and pessimism. בשם השם נעשה ונצליח
Your comparison to the Chasidish world (which has its own crisis of older boys who can’t find shidduchim) is exceptionally unhelpful. If you care so much about the Litvish system, take out a Tehilim and cry to the Ribono Shel Olam, spend a few minutes thinking about countless Bnos Yisroel who feel rejected, dejected, and unwanted in the current system, and then call the Rabbonim and Askanim privately, who give up their learning time, family time, and business time to help Klal Yisroel and ask how you can help.
(I don’t know who you are, and I have nothing personal against you, I’m sure you are a wonderful caring member of Acheinu Beis Yisroel, nevertheless, the gravity of the situation we find ourselves in is the reason for the above comment. Ah Frelichin Purim, and may you and your family see nothing but Simcha Vnachas Mtoch Harchavas Hadaas.)
One point the girls are already waiting , what percent are engaged by a yr after sem ?
Anyone coming out against this monumental change deserves to be put in cherem
You are obviously trolling. Do you think every gadol on the moetzes in the US agrees?
Think again.
Everyone should ask his own rosh hayeshiva/manhig.
In honor of Purim, no more shidduch crisis?
Is the crisis all gone now?
Goodbye NASI ! ??
What I find really incredible and horrifying at the same time is that today many people have no embarrassment whatsoever to just put a big Rabbi down when they don’t agree with what he said. Even the non-religious people of yesteryear as recent as 40 years ago would never talk against the rabbi, they would ask for a blessing and acknowledge his holiness. Today that all went out the window. Rabbis are expected to meet popularity standards of the public. The minute they say something that the average imbecile disagrees with they throw him to the garbage right away. And these are people who wear a kippa and call themselves shomer Shabbos. How far we have fallen
To lakewood bt
Trust me if one of the litvisha Gedolim had a daughter or granddaughter who wanted to marry at 18 to a yeshiva boy he would allow it. He would not have her wait till 20 or 21. By that time she may elope.
To lakewoodbt
I would marry off my daughters at 18 and if I am put in cherem I will daven in a Chassidisha or heimisha shul where they all try to marry off their daughters young. Better be in cherem than have an old non married daughter running around the house.
To tp:
Many rabbonim are fed wrong information by so called askonim.
To tell girls not to date till they are twenty years old is evil. It will not help the Shidduch crisis. It will make it worse. While these girls who could of married by 19 have to wait to date there is another flock of girls behind them turning 18 who will not be sit as they see the twenty year olds having a hard time with Shidduchim. It’s not right. Instead of making boys start going out at 21 and they can sit two years later in kollel married. I wonder if these Askonim who many are die heart Democrats even have daughters to marry off. Chassidim are smart. They don’t send their daughters to Israel spending thirty thousand a girl for seminary. They marry them off. They do not have their boys in long time kollel unless they are serious learners who want to go into a career of rabbonis. Otherwise go work and learn in the morning and at night. This was the old satmar rebbes advice. As far as solving the Shidduch crisis for girls over 25 through 35 and up. Simple. Let yeshivash girls marry older chassidic boys. Or they can marry older kohanim. Or they can marry divorced or widowed men. Or they can marry Baalei tsuvahs. Everyone can get married. Many girls are very picky in our materialistic society. I know of a guy who was making top dollar as a chef in a very big catering hall. A girl he was introduced to said she does not want him because he is not a college educated professional. But he makes over quarter million a year. After a while she saw there was no dates coming her way and someone knocked sense into her head and she married this very sweet nice fellow. Now they have three kids and they are very happy. One rov once said some girls want a extremely handsome body builder,who is also a top rated Talmud chachom and millionaire business man and can spend all day with her. Doesn’t exist.
I think the key is to get Harav Avraham Yehoshua Soloveitchik rosh yeshiva of Yeshivas Brisk, to agree,
People should be embarrassed to have rabonim get shleped into this nonsense. Trying to have them believe this 3rd grade colored napkin graphs. My 8th grader can do a much better job. It’s such a busha to parade Rabonim like rav landau into this. In picture above he’s signing a paper that was shoved in front of him. No 3rd grade charts even to be explained to him. Not even a nice folder. Nothing. Just a kol koreh. It’s a Shanda!
To Real Yid,
You are spewing misinformation, and you seem to be on a misguided mission to spread misinformation and fearmonger.
Here are the Facts (for a second time).
1) Only 5-10 percent of girls get engaged before Shavous, the year after seminary, in the mainstream Yeshiva community. The solution presented by the Gedolim will not affect the vast majority of girls, who, under the current system, cannot get dates due to the age gap. They will only benefit from the new system as they won’t feel rejected, dejected, and unwanted by the system during those first eight months, and when they enter Shidduchim they will have a significantly easier time getting dates due to the reduced pool of girls.
2) The next grade of girls will not enter the shidduch system till next year Shavous, so they will not make it any harder for the older grade.
3) For the 5-10 percent that as of now are getting engaged before Shavous the waiting is extremely unlikely to affect them, as the same boy they would have dated, will be available for them (after shavous) as he couldn’t have dated any other new girl. If he ends up marrying an older girl, he could have done so even before the new shidduch system, so it is highly unlikely to have any negative affect.
4) Based on the sheer ignorance of how the mainstream Yeshiva shidduch system works, my guess is that you are part of the chasidish world, therefore it would be wise for you to stay in your lane, and call the Chasidish Rabbonim and ask how you can help out in the burgeoning shidduch problem your community has.
5) Your constant comparison to the Chasidish world is rather childish, and for millennia there has been different communities with their own individual cultures.
6) Your accusations of askanim feeding the Gedolim false information is ironic and a projection of your own flaws, as you continually post openly false misinformation about the realities of the yeshiva world shidduch system.
I am surprised they didn’t yet try and shove a paper in front of Rabbi Kamenetsky to sign . Then we can read how the gedolim all feel the plight and suffering of our dear bnos yisroel etc. and under the guidance of Rabbi Hirsch he is pioneering innovative breakthroughs etc. Add whatever lingo u want. Why not? It’s the popular thing to do. . poor rav landau. Nebach how he’s abused
Pine5900: You clearly have an ax to grind hear and some sort of negious to bash and spread misinformation, I don’t know what your negious are, but I wonder if you can find other and better outlets for your anger than spread misinformation.
This is the most wonderful news.
It is amazing how many people want to bash a real solution and then spend the rest of their time bashing the gedolim for not having a solution.
A real answer to a serious problem is finally on the table and we all should get behind it 100%!