Having admired the enormous success of the Baltimore program operated by Star-K, and the Queens Shidduch Initiative, several members of the Toronto Jewish Community have launched a similar program. Star-K’s novel attempt at remedying the universal singles problem locally, was made with the twin hope of inspiring the launching of similar programs by organizations and individuals in other “out-of-town” communities. Consider us inspired. Star-K has paid Shadchanim for 134 matches to date.
The Toronto Shadchan Incentive Program is offering a $2,000 gift to the Shadchan of a Toronto woman aged 23 or over. The Shadchan Incentive Program hopes that B’ezras Hashem its gift will act as a dual incentive. Professional shadchanim worldwide will place Toronto women on the top of their singles lists, and “would-be shadchanim” and acquaintances will have extra incentive to keep Toronto women in mind.
For the shadchan of a successful shidduch to qualify for this gift, there are certain conditions and guidelines that apply. Those guidelines can be viewed at www.shidduchroundtable.com. All guidelines have been reviewed and approved by Rabbi Shlomo Miller, Shlita.
In an article about the Star-K program the author writes that Perhaps these Star-K shidduchim would have been made in any case, despite the Star-K incentive. Who knows? One thing is for sure. Klal Yisroel can only stand to gain when we have the welfare of our fellow yidden in mind, by putting forth the effort to help our singles – wherever they live – build a bayis ne’eman b’Yisroel!
We are hopeful that Toronto will mirror the success of Baltimore and Queens and that we can assist Jewish singles in finding their shidduch. Please email [email protected] with any questions or comments.
(YWN Desk – NYC)
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7 Responses
Perhaps if you offer the girls some money they wont be so quick to say no.
Not to be a cynic (too late!), but this strikes me as an incentive to create any date at all. Just throw some ideas at the wall and see what sticks. What singles need is more good dates, not more dates.
The problem is getting a guy to agree to go out with a girl instead of putting her “on his list”. Perhaps the shidduch should go through the girl 1st too.
As a Shantchante, I actually see how the typical Lakewood boy, always puts the girl from Toronto, in the bottom of his list, for no special reason other then his percieved practicality concerns.
His list constantly consists of about five to ten names, and the Torotonian Shiduch is always at the bottom as a last resort. And this goes on for years.
The Toronto community, must all sign on, to the Tekonos which was put together last year by their own Askonim.
1. All Dating, Vort & Chassunah must be done in the USA.
2. For Yomim Tovim, the parents must come to the USA, not drag the young couple through an eleven hour trip to Toronto.
3. The parents should try to be gracious with financial help, most important, to their married couples who are already living in USA.
They must remember that all potential Shiduchim will look upon the life-style of their already married children living in the USA, to see what kind of parents these Torontonian people will be.
4. The couples living in the US should be encouraged to be close to the USA parents. And never try to punish them, for the fact that the Canadian parents are not visited that often.
These Takonos might sound extreme, but the Shiduch Crisis is even more extreme.
Wow, Yira, What kind of person are you. I’ll do anything, just take my child and marry her. Out of town girls are people too. They deserve to have a beautiful wedding. They deserve to see their parents- parents deserve to see them too. parents aren’t just going to leave their other children without a place for yom tov to go and see their daughter in N.Y. Boys from N.Y have a serious prblem. They don’t even want to travel from brooklyn to monsey. Parents don’t have to be gracious “oh thank you Thank you you married my daughter- take my life savings”.The life style of a parent may not be the lifesyle that the child is.
To #5
I just recently heard of a Lakewood boy who was considering a Shidduch from Toronto. It was three weeks before Pesach, and there was a conversation in Yeshiva, about a Yungerman who was very nervous about having to travel to Toronto, with a family of five, in a Van which was nine years old. This Bochur went on to another Shidduch.
The fact remains that the Boys do percieve an out-of-town Shidduch as something that will, by definition, come along with financial and social hardships. It is our job to compensate for that.
Our daughters did not choose to live here in Toronto. They live here because We Chose to live here.
Now, that they have to become engaged, they deserve that we should sacrifice from our money and comfort, to help them.
And if it means spending alot on our married daughter in Lakewood, in order to show that we are giving people, then so be it.