The mother of 13-year-old Sarah Erdan came forward Tuesday to defend the speeding teen driver who killed their daughter.
“He has been devastated by what has happened,” said Pam Erdan, the Borough Park mom who lost her daughter Oct. 3 when 16-year-old Eric Hakimisefat crashed a minivan into a house.
Hakimisefat sat with the devout Orthodox Jewish family every day of shiva, she said.
“He is a respectful, responsible and devoted person,” Erdan said. “We embrace Eric and his family’s pain and suffering as part of our own.”
Sarah was riding in the Honda Odyssey minivan with her older brother, Yossi, and his friend, Hakimisefat, whose junior driver’s permit required an adult to be in the front passenger seat.
Police estimated the minivan was going at least 63 mph – twice the speed limit – on E. 23rd St. in Midwood when it crashed.
Hakimisefat, who was not seriously hurt, was charged as an adult with criminally negligent homicide.
Pam Erdan said all the court’s punishments won’t mend her broken heart.
“Pointing fingers and blame does not help or heal,” she said. “Accidents happen, even terrible and traumatic ones.”
Instead, she looks to God for healing.
“We have our beliefs to strengthen and comfort us as we try to accept God’s will,” she said.
Here is the official statement by Erdan family as relayed by their lawyer Israel Fried:
This has been a most difficult time for our family. The loss of a child/sibling is incomprehensible in its breadth and depth. Each day is a struggle, but a day that we draw strength from each other, our family and from the community. We are tremendously thankful to everyone who impacted Sara’s life. She was someone who lived life to the fullest and loved everyone.
Our thoughts and prayers are with the family of Eric Hakimisefat. He is a close friend of our son Yossi and our family, and was a dear friend of our daughter Sara.
He has been devastated by what has happened. He attended Sara’s funeral and has been sitting together with our family each day of Shiva.
He is a respectful, responsible and devoted person. Accidents happen, even terrible and traumatic ones as well, and for that we have our beliefs to strengthen and comfort us as we try to accept G-d’s will. Pointing fingers and blame does NOT help or heal. We embrace Eric and his family’s pain and suffering as part of our own as we look to heal together in recovering and forging ahead with our lives.
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(Source: NY Daily News)
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11 Responses
Sarah a”h was a tzadekes bas tzadekes.
B”H
What a beautiful and gracious thing to say, even as she is suffering.
May Hashm bring them comfort.
May Hakodosh Baruch Hu grant your entire family KOICHES to withstand such a devastating blow & may SARA A”H be a true MELITZA YEHAIRA for you & Klal Yisroel Hamalom Yinachem Oischem Besoich Shaarei Avlei Tzion
Mi k’amcha yisrael…i
True, accidents happen. And the mother can forgive her pain, if she wants.
However, this accident happened not because of a kapara for the tzibbur but because a teen and the adult sitting in the front seat (whose job was not just to admire the scenery but make sure the teen driver was obeying the law) are guilty of negligence. They did an aveira called “P’shia” and this is the aftermath.
This reminds me of a story where a father fell asleep with a cigarette and his child died in the ensuing fire. The ill-advised community comforted him with tales of yissurin shel ahava, whereas Rav Avigdor Miller zt”l lambasted him with the idea that he is suffering yissurin that come from the issur of P’shia.
But in the end of the day he drove double the speed limit that’s a murder!
Reply to five: while I agree with some of your statement to say that this is not a kapara for the tzibbur, cannot be true the fact that a child was lost in klal yisroel regardless of how, is definitely yisurim for all those around her, nothing but the accident was responsible. Her mother community and friends were not driving, they definitely are experiencing yissurim shel ahava.This cannot be compared to someone whose actions intentionally or otherwise (such as your cigarette example) directly killed someone near to them Re: Family friends etc..
I do agree though that the driver is in a different category and is suffering through poshea or whatever you would like to call it and probably a tinge of ahava as well as we do not know the workings of the bais Din shel Maala.
B)There was no adult in the car. There are many unknown facts in this case (IE Was the teen speeding the whole time or accidentally hit the gas and lost control due to his inexperience as a car can go 35-60 in 2-3 seconds)either way the driver is still responsible as he should not have been driving to begin with, but it does make a difference how a court of law and even shomayim will treat the driver.
C)Knowing Rabbi Miller, I am sure he was not as blunt to the father of the boy who died in the fire as you wrote out.Even if he felt that way he said it in a more loving manner.
REPLY TO #5 AND #7!
i agree with #7 about most of his writings but let us not forget that putting down the driver will do no good at all! i am sure he is going nuts, just like sarah’s mother said,”pointing fingers does not help or heal”! i wish a rachmanut on the driver and only that sarah’s soul should be elevated to the highest madregah!AMEN
Our school is doing a machsom l’fi in her zechus but we need her name bas her father’s name.
Does anyone know it?
Sarah bas Chaim nachman zev
i miss her 🙁