The following story has been circulating over recent days involving the Mora D’asra of the Ramat Elchanan neighborhood of Bnei Brak, HaGaon HaRav Yitzchak Zilberstein Shlita and how the rav dealt with a chareidi man addicted to gambling.
The wife of the man afflicted with the addiction approached the rav, explaining she cannot and will not live with such a man. “When I ask my husband why he does this, he explained to us he only gambles in Yericho where the gamblers are Arabs, and therefore the halachic issues do not exist”.
The wife explained she fears she will become entangled with Arabs who may eventually come to their home looking for money, and they may harm the children. The wife was asked if she thinks her husband would be willing to swear not to do this if asked to do so and if such a ‘shavua would impact him to compel him to stop so it is not a false ‘shavua’ chas v’sholom. The wife responded that she feels such a ‘shavua’ would have an impact on him.
Those involved report they never did this before, but in this case they brought the husband in front of the Aron Kodesh and with his wife listening from the ezras noshim, they instructed him to swear he will refrain from all gambling in the future.
Rav Zilberstein is quoted explaining he relied on a case involving Maran HaGaon HaRav Sholom Elyashiv ZT”L in which a woman was asked to swear pertaining to a most serious and difficult din torah. He adds in that case; it was determined at the last moment that the swearing would be unnecessary.
A female came to register to get married and an ad was placed in a newspaper as is done routinely. A young man arrived at the beis din after seeing the ad explaining he had already been ‘MeKadesh’ the young woman, a statement she denied.
It is reported when Rav Elyashiv asked him if there were witnesses, he responded there were. The two witnesses however were soon proven to be unreliable. The man explained there are additional witnesses. To the surprise of all, these witnesses were also determined to be unreliable. This occurred no less than five times!
The man would insist there are additional witnesses and they were disqualified one pair at a time. The sixth set of witnesses finally told the same story.
Rav Elyashiv decided he was going to test the reliability of the young lady, asking her to swear her statements are true. She refused despite the fact Rav Elyashiv said “I am the head dayan here and instruct you to swear” and her refusal led the rav to believe she was not being honest.
It took some time but she did break down and explain the young man who claimed to be ‘MeKadesh’ her was indeed telling the truth, having done so with a biscuit. This led to a discussion if a biscuit is שווה-פרוטה. They actually visited a biscuit factory in Givat Shaul to determine the worth of one biscuit. Rav Zilberstein explained from this story he learned Rav Elyashiv was willing to use a ‘shavua’ as a proof in the case of this woman.
(YWN – Israel Desk, Jerusalem)
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7 Responses
This man didn’t need a psak. He needed mental health counseling. Being shoel eitza sometimes means a referral to good psychological help.
The woman was not an addict, just a liar. The gambler may be an addict, in which case he may ultimately be unable to control himself without treatment. If so, it’s a chidush to infer imposing a shavua his case from the fact that it was imposed in hers.
A sh’vuah is absolutely meaningless to a gambling addict. They should have been referred to Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twersky instead.
The man’s excuse that he was “only gambling with Arabs” and thus it was not assur under Halacha is both bizarre and irrelevant. The wife’s concern was not whether her husband was mechalel some Halacha, but simply that he was addicted to gambling. Obviously, the risk of retaliation is as great whether the gambling debt is owed to an Arab or a member of the Jewish Russian mafia whose reputation for debt collection violence is worse than the arabs. In any event, No. 1 has it correct; he needs addiction treatment, not some Rav trying to intimidate by taking an oath in front of the aron kodesh.
As a recovering gambler myself. The first step is admitting you are powerless over your gambling. I have been attending meetings for about 5 years now. People slip all the time, and they come back with tears in their eyes. Swearing on the torah is not the answer, get help find a peer group. Or create one he is probably not the only guy in Israel with such a problem. Get a meeting going and work off each others strengths. I was so ashamed to come to my weekly meeting after a fall. They would give me tough love, and I never slipped again. I am working on starting a Jewish 12 step program in my local community,but swearing on the torah. What happens if he chas vshalom slips?
I’m sure R’Zilberstein shlita knows as much as all you couch
psychiatrists!
I have a different problem. My problem is with yeshiva world publishing a story that has an origin of “this story has been circulating “.
I would like to think that before publishing a story about a Rav that yeshiva world would reach out to the Rav to confirm the veracity of the story. With so much sheker on the web I think a frum website should make an attempt to find the Emes.