In what is being hailed an unprecedented decision, Rabbanut Av Beis Din Dayan Shlomo Shapira has ruled a husband must give his wife a get after it was proven he was guilty of harshly abusing his wife psychologically. The beis din said this type of torture is viewed no less seriously than physical abuse.
The psak din states: “הבעל התעלל נפשית קשות באישה ולדעתנו התעללות כזו היא אלימות קשה והיא אינה פחותה מהתעללות גופנית”.
It is reported that to date, a beis din would not take psychological or verbal abuse into consideration.
The couple in question was married for 15 years and they have a son. During the years the husband would avoid relations with his wife or was away at night or would ignore his wife, preferring to watch television. On Shabbos and Yomtov he would disappear as well, leaving her alone. He treated his wife disrespectfully and caused her great emotional pain and suffering.
After a number of sessions before the beis din, the dayanim agreed that the wife was the subject of abuse for many years, in addition to threats made against her by her husband.
“התרשמנו כי אילו הבעל היה מפגין שמץ של יחס לאשתו האישה לא היתה מגישה תביעה לגירושין, אך דא עקא, הבעל רואה את אשתו כצעצוע וכרכוש השייך לו. הוא מתעלם מחובותיו, מתעלם מרגשותיה ולמרות האזהרות הרבות, התחינות של האישה והתראות בית הדין הוא אינו עושה דבר”.
The dayanim explain that if the husband would have shown a hint of concern for his wife, she would not be seeking divorce but he views her as a toy and his property to do with as he wishes. He ignores his duties, her feelings and despite numerous warnings and pleas from his wife and the beis din, he does nothing.
The beis din added the essence of marriage is a life and not sorrow, and therefore it is ruling to compel the husband to grant her a get.
The report adds the position of the dayanim is in line with rulings by many poskim including Shulchan Aruch and the Rambam.
Dayanim Rav Avraham Meizles and Rav Ariel Oriel were of the same mind as the av beis din.
(YWN – Israel Desk, Jerusalem)
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3 Responses
It is probably a matter of a few hours before this story hits the CR and the blogs, with comments of anshei bliyaal who disagree with the beis din, not on halachic grounds, but on the philosophical grounds that a woman is the man’s property to do whatever he wants with her. Unfortunately, the Torah addresses this in many places, exactly where these fools will not tread. Let us examine one such example. There is NO mitzvas asei to have relations with one’s wife. Correct, no mitzvas asei. However, the chiyuv of onah is actually expressed differently in the Torah – it is a lo saaseh, one is forbidden to withhold it. Tell me, please, whether there is a lesser value to that lo saaseh than the prohibition to eat chazzer.
Blogmasters (including CR) – prepare. This will get lively.
You really know only a little. A Jewish woman is not her husband’s property. It says he must love her as himself, and respect her more than he respects himself. Also, if a woman finds her husband repulsive, “nimas la”, she can get a divorce. He also has to support her as to the norm of the times, providing her with food, clothing and a place to live. (see the kesuva).
Why is it unprecedented?
If someone withholds relations money is added to her kesuba
Coupled with everything else it makes a lot of sense