By Rabbi Yair Hoffman for Five Towns Jewish Times

Parent: Well, son, your mother has been working hard all week. On a scale of 1 to 10, how badly do you want to see us this Sunday?

Child: A ten. I really miss you all.

Parent: Okay son, I will arrange for a van to bring you back into the city then.

Child: What?? Wait, wait.. On second thought, maybe like 2 or 3?

This Sunday, visiting day in the Catskills and beyond, virtually all people can be classified into 5 types:

1. These are people who are completely unaffected by visiting day.

2. These are people who have children in camps but just are not doing the visiting day thing.

3. These are people who are making the trip up to visiting day.

4. These are people who have hired a van to bring their kids back to the city

5. These are people that are meeting their kids in Monsey or at some other half way point.

What follows is a halachic overview for each of these five classifications.

PEOPLE WHO ARE COMPLETELY UNAFFECTED

There is a halachic obligation to appreciate all that Hashem has given you. Not having to spend the entire day driving, risking younger kids vomiting in the car, and facing traffic on the way home is a blessing that you should thank Hashem for giving you. These parents should therefore have greater kavannah in their Tefilos today.

PEOPLE WHO JUST ARE NOT DOING THE VISITING DAY ROUTINE

Understandable, but make sure that your children know that you love them dearly all the same.

PEOPLE WHO ARE MAKING THE TRIP UP

To parents – you should be saluted. Make your best effort for you and your entire family to make a Kiddush Hashem wherever you go. Take time out to wish everyone you encounter a pleasant day. Make pleasant and caring conversation.

To children – Realize that your parents sacrificed much to come visit you today. Greet them with their favorite drink or food. Thank them for coming. Allow them a chance to rest. Be a giver, not a taker. Wherever you go, make a Kiddush Hashem. Speak pleasantly to everyone. Do not whine. Do not beg that things be purchased for you.

PEOPLE WHO ARE HAVING KIDS BROUGHT TO THE CITY

To parents: Realize that your kids have travelled extensively and will travel a long distance back. Greet them with their favorite drink or food. Thank them for coming. Allow them a chance to rest.

PEOPLE WHO ARE MEETING IN MONSEY

Wherever you go, whatever you do, make a Kiddush Hashem.

Everyone should make sure that they do not litter, drive safely and carefully, and interact positively with whomever they come in contact with.

After Hashem told Moshe Rabbeinu to go speak to Pharaoh on behalf of Bnei Yisroel, Moshe answered, “Klal Yisroel didn’t listen to me how will Pharaoh listen to me?”
The pasuk (Shmos 6:13) next records the following words, “vayetzavem el bnei yisroel – Hashem commanded Moshe and Aharon concerning Bnei Yisroel.”

This is rather strange. The pasuk does not say what exactly Hashem had commanded them. What was it?

Rashi tells us that Hashem commanded them to lead Klal Yisroel gently “benachas” and to accept them.

The Ibn Ezra says that Hashem commanded them not to get mad at Klal Yisroel if they don’t listen to them.

Generally speaking there is an assumption that the Torah does not say something that is not necessary or needed. That being the case we have a significant question here:
Moshe Rabbeinu and Aharon were the greatest leaders that Klal Yisroel had ever had known. Do they really need a warning to be gentle or not to get upset?
In the Slabodka Yeshiva, the students used to remark that often the very question is the exact answer. It seems that everyone, no matter who they may be, could use what is called a “heads up.”

Why is this so? Because when people are prepared for something before it happens they can plan and deal with it much better.

The camps should be preparing children how to welcome their parents. Parents and children should be warned about the potential on this day for causing chillul Hashem. They should focus upon how Kiddush Hashem can be made instead. This is an eye opening thought that preparing someone beforehand, no matter who it is, can make a huge difference in how they handle things.
Hashem is telling us this to give us this very important message.

Enjoy your children today.

The author can be reached at [email protected]