[Halachically Speaking appears on YWN weekly, Tuesdays and Thursdays]
Written by Rabbi Moishe Dovid Lebovits of KOF-K Kosher Supervisio
The Gemorah in Nedarim[1] states, “if you want your nedarim not to last for the entire year, you should stand in the beginning of the year and say “kol neder”…. This is the kol nidrei that we say on Yom Kippur.[2] However, the kol nidrei might not get rid of the nedarim for a number of reasons, therefore, we say hataras nedarim on Erev Rosh Hashanah.[3] The hataras nedarim accomplishes two separate things. 1. It undoes the nedarim one made throughout the year. 2. By saying the modah, it is making a proclamation on the future that all nedarim etc. that you make, should be null and void.[4]
Reason/Time
The reason why we say hataras nedarim on Erev Rosh Hashanah is in order to remove any swearing that was said before the Day of Judgment.[5] If one does not have time to say it on Erev Rosh Hashanah then it may be recited throughout the aseres yemei teshuvah.[6] Some say if one knows he will not have time to say it on Erev Rosh Hashanah, it should be recited before this time.[7] The minhag is to say hataras nedarim after shacharis.[8] There are those who say it after selichos before shacharis, but this practice should not be done.[9]
Women
Women should also be matir neder,[10] however, because of modesty the minhag is that they do not say it.[11] The poskim say that the husband of a married woman may be matir her nedarim, acting as her sheliach.[12] When the husband finishes saying the nusach of hataras nedarim he should say “v’chein l’ishtei kein” (so too for my wife).[13] The husband may be matir neder for his wife even if she forgot to ask him to make him a sheliach, if he can assume that she is willing that he should make the hataras nedarim on her behalf. The assumption is justified as everyone does it.[14] Some poskim say the women rely on the kol nidrei to be matir their nedarim.[15]
Children
Children under the age of bar or bas mitvah have no requirement to say hataras nedarim, or a need for someone else to say it for them.[16]
How Many People?
The hataras nedarim must be said in front of at least three adults.[17] Some are of the opinion that one should say the nusach in front of ten people.[18] The custom seems to be in accordance with the first opinion.[19]
Who May Be On The Bais Din?
Women may not serve on the bais din.[20] Relatives of the one saying the nusach or other members of the bais din are permitted to be on the bais din.[21] Initially the poskim say that the members of the bais din should be adults who have beards.[22] However, the minhag is that as long as the members are adults it is sufficient.[23]
Knowing What You Are Saying
When reciting the nusach of hataras nedarim one should know what he is saying.[24] Therefore, it would be a good idea to read an English translation of the hataras nedarim beforehand.[25]
What Does Hataras Nedarim Help For?
The hataras nedarim only helps for promises that one has forgotten he made. However, a promise that he remembers he made it does not help.[26] Some say if one did a certain act three times without saying bli neder one may say hataras nedarim, and one would not have to continue doing that practice.[27]
Sitting Vs. Standing
The bais din does not have to sit when being matir the nedarim of an individual on Erev Rosh Hashanah.[28] However, the custom seems to be that they do in fact sit.[29] The one who is asking for the nedarim to be void does not have to stand,[30] but the custom is for him to stand.[31]
[1] 23b, see Rosh v’yamod,” Ran “u’linyan.”
[2] See Sharei Teshuva 581:3, Piskei Teshuvos page 192,
[3] Kaf Ha’chaim 581:99, see 19, Minchas Yitzchok 9:61.
[4] Refer to Elef Hamugen 581:102, see Teshuvos V’hanhugos 1:337, 3:160, 4:207.
[5] Refer to Chai Adom 138:8, Lekutei Maharich page 59b, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 128: 16, Kaf Ha’chaim 581:12, Da’as Torah 581:1, Mikreo Kodesh 3, Rivevos Ephraim 4:147:2, Mikadesh Yisroel 83.
[6] Sharei Teshuva 581:3, Matei Ephraim 581:49, see Minhag Yisroel Torah 581:17.
[7] Mikadesh Yisroel 83, see Rivevos Ephraim 4:147:2, 5:380.
[8] Matei Ephraim 581:49, Natei Gavriel 17:footnote 2 (old), Orchos Rabbeinu 2:page 171, Mikadesh Yisroel 83.
[9] Mikadesh Yisroel 83, Natei Gavriel 17:footnote 2 (old).
[10] Refer to Teshuvos V’hanhugos 1:338, Natei Gavriel 17:13:footnote 18, Rivevos Ephraim 5:380, 6:303:1, Halichos Beisa 20:1.
[11] Rav Akiva Eiger Y.D. 228:3, Pischei Teshuva 3, see Teshuvos V’hanhugos ibid, 3:160, Avnei Yushfei 3:87:3. Refer to Rivevos Ephraim 4:147:2.
[12] Refer to Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 234:56, Taz 46, Mikadesh Yisroel 87, Mitzvos Hanashim page 178:footnote 3, Teshuvos V’hanhugos 1:338, Halichos Bas Yisroel 19:4:footnote 8, Yabea Omer 2:30:11. Some say that a father may be a sheliach for non-married daughters. (Rivevos Ephraim 6:303:1). See V’ulyo Lo U’vol page 206:340.
[13] Horav Yisroel Belsky Shlita.
[14] Horav Yisroel Belsky Shlita.
[15] Piskei Teshuvos 581:footnote 115, Halichos Shlomo Moadim 2:1:10, see Mikadesh Yisroel 87.
[16] Refer to Halichos Shlomo Moadim 2:1:footnote 38.
[17] Shach 228:4, Elef Hamugen 581:101, Yalkut Meam Loez Matos page 355:38, Minhag Yisroel Torah ibid, Natei Gavriel 17:footnote 90 (old), Mikadesh Yisroel 82.
[18] Da’as Torah 519, Lekutei Maharich page 60, Matei Ephraim 581:49, Teshuvos V’hanhugos 3:161, Natei Gavriel 17:15:footnote 23 (old). Refer to Mevakshei Torah 3:page 405, Betzel Hachuchma 5:65, Shevet Ha’kehusi 6:218, Rivevos Ephraim 4:147:4.
[19] Minhag Yisroel Torah ibid. See Teshuvos V’hanhugos 3:161.
[20] Rav Akiva Eiger 3, see Shearim Metzuyanim B’Halacha 128:24.
[21] Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 228:3, Meam Loez ibid, Lekutei Maharich ibid, Rivevos Ephraim 4:147:4, Teshuvos V’hanhugos 3:161 (end), Mikadesh Yisroel 82.
[22] Pischei Teshuva Y.D. 238:2, Shevet Ha’Levi 4:54:4, Avnei Yushfei 3:87:2, Teshuvos V’hanhugos 1:377, Mikadesh Yisroel 84.
[23] Teshuvos V’hanhugos 1:377, 2:442.
[24] Based on the Chai Adom 138:8, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 128:16, Kaf Ha’chaim 581:99, see Elef Hamugen 581:101-102.
[25] Poskim
[26] Refer to Elef Hamugen 581:102.
[27] Refer to Minchas Shlomo 1:91:20, Halichos Shlomo 20:footnote 4, Yabea Omer 2:30, see Rivevos Ephraim 6:303:2.
[28] Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 228:3, Shach 9, see Yisroel B’mamadam page 618:footnote 9.
[29] Refer to Yisroel B’mamadam page 618:footnote 9.
[30] Taz 7, Shach 9. Refer to Yisroel B’mamadam ibid:footnote 10.
[31] Shach 9.
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One Response
This is the nusach used by Harav Shteinman Shlita. It is based on the Chayei Adam’s nusach.
The petitioner says
מתחרט אני על כל הנדרים ושבועות וכן כל מנהג טוב שנהגתי ולא אמרתי שיהא בלי נדר, ואם הייתי יודע שאתחרט לא הייתי נודר או נשבע ובמנהג טוב הייתי מתנה שיהי’ בלי נדר, ומבקש שתתירו לי את כולם
The three sitting as judges respond
מותר לְךָ, מותר לְךָ, מותר לְךָ
The petitioner then says
הרי אני מוסר מודעה לפניכם ואני מבטל מכאן ולהבא כל הנדרים וכל השבועות וקונמות והסכמות וקבלה בלב או בדיבור, שאקבל עלי, חוץ מנדרי תענית בשעת מנחה, וכן כל מנהג טוב שאתנהג בלי להזכיר בלי נדר, ובאם שאשכח לתנאי מודעה הזאת ואדור מהיום עוד, מעתה אני מתנה עליהם שיהיו כולן בטלין ומבוטלין, ולא יהון חלין כלל.
If a woman wants to be mattir neder, and she does not want to appear before a Beis Din, she should appoint her husband as her agent using the following words, in whatever language she understands. (Normally, one must personally appear before the Beis Din for Hattaras Nedarim. However, a spouse is an exception, because a married couple is viewed as one person. YD 234 Shach SK 70.)
אם עשיתי נדר או נהגתי מנהג טוב ולא אמרתי בלי נדר אני מתחרטת, ואני עושה אותך שליח להתיר
The husband will then represent her before the Beis Din, and say
הריני שליח של אשתי לבקש התרה על כל הנדרים או מנהג טוב שעשתה ולא אמרה בלי נדר, והיא מתחרטת עליהם
The Beis Din responds
מותר לה. מותר לה. מותר לה
(From Beis Vaad Lechachamim)