THE FOLLOWING IS AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM MISASKIM
The call came while Simcha was driving his friend Moshe and his wife to a wedding. An unfamiliar number flashed on his screen. It was the chevra kaddisha.
“Are you on speaker?” the man on the other end asked quietly.
“No, I’m not.”
“Tragically, Moshe’s 10-year-old son was killed in an accident. The news is already spreading. Every WhatsApp group has posted it. You have a few seconds to tell the parents before they find out themselves.”
There in the car, Simcha had no choice but to break the devastating news to the parents.
“I already knew,” Moshe said. “Someone posted it on a WhatsApp group I’m in. I just… couldn’t say anything.”
“I also knew,” his wife whispered. “I just got it on my women’s group.”
These parents learned of their son’s death through local WhatsApp groups. Three months have passed, and Moshe still cannot look the group admin in the eye. That admin remains unaware that he was the one who delivered news of a child’s death to his parents in the most inhumane way possible.
In the crucial time between the death and the family’s notification, social media had already stripped them of their right to receive life-altering news with dignity and support.
This isn’t an isolated incident. All too frequently, families learn of their loved ones’ tragedies through WhatsApp messages, news alerts, and social media posts – before any official notification can reach them. A father discovers his son’s passing through a community chat group. A mother learns of her child’s accident from a viral video. These aren’t hypothetical scenarios – they’re the painful reality in a world where the urgency to share has overtaken our sense of compassion.
We’ve become a society of town criers, each armed with a global megaphone. But in our race to be first – to break that news, to post that update, to forward that message – we’ve forgotten something fundamental: behind every “breaking news” alert lies a breaking heart. Behind every viral tragedy stands a family whose world is shattering in real-time.
The solution isn’t complex, but it demands something increasingly rare in our instant-gratification world: restraint. Don’t press “share” on that accident scene. Don’t forward that crisis update. Instead, ask yourself: Have the people who most deserve to know this news been informed? Would you want to learn of a tragedy involving your mother, your child, your spouse through a social media alert?
To minimize trauma, devastating news needs to be delivered to a family by a trained professional in a gentle, compassionate way. Those first few hours after a tragedy are crucial in determining how the news is received and processed. It’s not the layman’s place to make such notifications.
For large families, or those with members living overseas, it can take several hours before every parent, sibling, grandparent, in-law, and family member is properly informed. Your restraint could mean the difference between a family receiving devastating news with proper support versus learning about it while scrolling through their phone at the grocery store. No amount of likes, shares, or viral momentum can justify robbing people of their right to process tragedy with dignity.
In a world obsessed with being first, let’s dare to be something better: human.
Because here’s the truth we must face: When we rush to share tragedy, we aren’t delivering news – we’re delivering trauma. And no viral moment is worth that cost.
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15 Responses
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It’s why mainstream news outlets report on an accident but usually withhold the name of the victim until after the family has been notified.
This is why, however much im at the edge of my seat waiting to see live when the hostages iyh get released, do I have their permission to watch it?
Private things should be…private
It’s difficult to believe it is as common as this article claims.
That said, social media should be banned in an its forms.
I’m afraid he Frum world has “Kashered” Whatsapp.
Using it for learning, Shiurim, Chizuk etc……
Its Churban HaOlam
Not to mention the time wasted following all of the groups and chats
Make no mistake – Whatsapp is also social media
Rav E Wachsman said rhetorically “What is a Frum Yid doing on social media”
There are still strongholds of real Bnei Torah and their spouses holding on
with flip phones, no whatsapp
Joseph,
You should be banned for your incessant Jew-hatred, trolling and outright lies about what others have supposedly posted “on the record”.
Still waiting for you to back-up your garbage claims made on January 1st at 9:22PM.
I received a call from a friend who told me she was so sorry to hear about my husband. I had a feeling she was saying more than what I already knew, that he had a brain hemorrhage, had been in ICU, moved to rehab, then to a nursing home where he was subsequently in lock-down mandated by the government. I asked her exactly what she had heard and who had told her. She replied that the admin of our WhatsApp group had posted the announcement, along with his picture that was taken at our chasunah. Misaskim had previously posted the same request you’ve just posted here, but that thoughtless admin ignored it. I left WhatsApp and refuse to go back for anyone for any purpose, despite the fact that it seems to be a social media platform of choice.
Ujm, if social media should he banned in all its forms, what are you doing posting messages here?
more common than you care to believe! …and in instances the messages may include photos of the injured or dead lo aleinu! our sensitivity has sadly frozen! regil!
@ujm,
You’d be surprised. My friend found out that his father died from Covid on a What’s App group
I have a friend who saw on Yeshiva World a picture of their family car, I dont remember if it was because the license plate by mistake was not blurred out or just that he recognized it some other way and was written that it was hit by a drunken driver and the owner (ie his father) was killed and he went into shock. This was almost 15 years ago.
Just another of a million reasons to ban social media!
Yet frum people are those running these social media platforms!!!!!!
So what exactly are you saying requesting/demanding?
Yep, I know someone that learned about her husband’s death right here on ywn!!!
He wasn’t picking up for a while she panicked and checked ywn and his tragedy was already making headlines. The name wasn’t released here yet but details and pics proved it
Let’s ALL pause before posting
I was very impressed by the sensitivity that came through in LAmother’s comment. The only thing I’m wondering is this: For those who haven’t forgotten about the captives for a single moment, those who really mean it when they say אחינו כל בית ישראל, could you posit that these really are — almost, sort of — our brothers and sisters slated for release אי”ה?
I found out my cousin was in a major (and later fatal) car accident from the yeshiva world as well