By Rabbi Yair Hoffman for 5tjt.com

The pasuk in Mishei (14:1) tells us, “Chochmas nashim bansa Baisa – it is the wisdom of women that builds her house.”  Perhaps no one personified this concept more than Rebbitzen Dvorah Esther Spiegel a”h, of Cedarhurst, New York.

Today marks the shloshim of a remarkable Rebbitzen who served the Five Towns community – Rebbitzen Dvorah Esther Spiegel, aleha HaShalom.  The Rebbitzen was the daughter of the Pittsburger Rebbe, Rav Avrohom Abba Leifer, a man who truly built Torah in America in the forties and fifties.  Rav Mordechai Nadvoner zt”l was his great-grandfather. Rav Mordechai Leifer Nadvorna zt”l was one of the most famous Rebbes of Nadvorna.  He lived a life of poverty and simplicity, as he would donate all the money that came his way to tzedakah. He was known as a Baal Ruach HaKodesh. The Rebbitzen was born in Romania, in 1944, where her parents were hiding out from the Nazis yimach shmam.

Her husband ybl”c, Rav Dovid Spiegel shlita is the moreh d’asra of “the Shtiebel” also known as the Bais Medrash of Cedarhurst.  Rav Spiegel shlita was one of the leading students of Rav Avrohom Pam zt”l and Rav Aharon Kotler zt”l.  He was one of the bochurim that would often drive Rav Aharon to where he needed to be and developed a close relationship with his Rebbe.

The Rav and his Rebbitzen married in Newark, New Jersey on June 19th, 1962.  Rav Mendel Zaks, the Nadvorner Rebbes, Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky and many others as well were all present.  There were over one thousand people in attendance according to the Newark Evening News.

In the beginning of their marriage they lived in a small one bedroom apartment on top of the stores on Fifth Street in Lakewood.  She lived there with five of her daughters.  They lived across the street from such future luminaries as Rav Moshe Hillel Hirsch shlita, (the Rosh Yeshiva of Slabodka in Eretz Yisroel).  In 1970, his brother-in-law, Rav Binyomin Kamenetsky zt”l suggested to Rabbi Spiegel that he could create a revolution by building a warm shteibel in the Five Towns.  In 1970, the Spiegels took up the offer, and soon they started a Torah revolution.

The Rebbitzen was the guidance counselor in Rebbitzen Vichna Kaplan’s Bais Yaakov on 45th Street in Boro Park.  She was endowed with a rare wisdom, where she not only guided her young charges, but she helped build hundreds of young ladies.  In the 1950’s she also attended Rebbitzen Kaplan’s Bais Yaakov in Williamsburg.  She travelled each day from Newark to Williamsburg for an hour and a half.  She took three trains each way. Rebbitzen Kaplan, of course, was the primary student of Sara Schnirer a”h and Rebbitzen Spiegel imbibed the derech and ruchnius of both Rebbitzen Kaplan and Sara Schnirer.

WISE SAYINGS

The Rebbitzen had a number of sayings that underscored her remarkable clarity as to what our primary focus and obligations are in life. Chazal tell us that “Greater understanding was granted to woman than to man,” enabling them to perceive things on a deeper level, and to apply this perception in daily life.

“Children are people too.  But do not forget, they are little people. Sometimes parents will allow the child to make his or her own choices.  But, quite often this is not chinuch – it is just a shirking of the responsibility of transmitting our Torah values.  When it comes to values – sometimes the parents must make the decisions.  Everything, however, must be done with chochma – wisdom.”

The Rebbitzen would often remark, “Every child is a gift.  Every child has taught me as much as I have taught them.”

Sometimes her expressions belied a truly great sense of humor.

“Behind every successful man stands a smart woman.  But behind every unsuccessful man stands a smart woman that wasn’t listened to.”

This last thought was not just humor, she believed very strongly in the kochos and abilities of the nashim tzidkanios of Klal Yisroel.

There is a well-known expression that more than the Jews have kept Shabbos – Shabbos has kept the Jew.  Equally so, the Rebbitzen felt that it is the nashim tzidkanios in Klal Yisroel that have kept and helped fashion what Klal Yisroel is today.

BUILDING TORAH

And what were her values?  She taught everyone that the highest ideal in life is to strive to be a true aim b’yisroel.  She also believed strongly that a woman has the ability to help her husband and children become truly great in Torah and avodas Hashem.

She believed strongly in the strength and intelligence of women – but she did it without being a feminist.

She helped build the Torah observance in the Five Towns.  Starting in 1996, the shtiebel hosted the Shabbos Woman’s Shiur in the community and she spoke every week after the guest speaker spoke.  Her words served to shore up the halachic observance of the women in the community.  It had a kiyum -and the shiur is still ongoing.

In building the shul, she managed to make a kosher mechitzah, and yiddishkeit in general, palatable to the Olam, by making everything beautiful.  For example, she arranged that the zip ties that hold the curtains be arranged in a remarkably beautiful way.  She even had the zip ties carefully painted in a gold color.  She was an innovator.

She greeted everyone b’saiver panim yafos with a warm smile and countenance on her face.  Her eineklach recall her as a very special Bubby.  She paid careful attention to purchasing the exact Chanukah gift that would be best suited for each child.  Her children, and grandchildren were her primary passion in life.

When the Jewish nation suffered the tragic loss of astronaut Ilan Ramon, someone remarked publicly that the fact that a Jewish astronaut was public about various Jewish customs in space was a remarkable kiddush Hashem. She knew that she had to take a stand.  Although everyone is certainly proud of Ilan Ramon, the fact that Chillul Shabbos was involved in the space flight is not something that can be glossed over and ignored.  “Kiddush Hashem,” she remarked. “is when we do what Hashem wants us to do.”  To get up and say that in a time when people were focusing on pride in a Jewish astronaut took  a rare strength of character.

The Rebbitzen would often comment about the highest ideal that is represented by motherhood.  Motherhood, is not as it is viewed.  Motherhood is one of the holiest endeavors that exists in that this institution transmits the greatest legacy that exists Toras imecha.

And yet, she did not teach, nor did she preach.  She inspired by example.  May she be a mailitz yosher for the entire community.  Chaval al d’avdin.

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