by Rabbi Yair Hofffman for the Sefas Tamim Foundation
HALACHA
Please note that some of the details of the question below may have been altered to facilitate the privacy of individuals involved.
QUESTION: I am a Rebbe of some very cute young boys. Recently, two of the boys made what I deemed to be a frivolous request to go to the nurse which I denied. Later on, it was discovered that these two cutie-pies forged a note from the assistant Rebbe allowing the visit. The forged note was adorable, replete with all of its misspellings. In truth, it will be enormously difficult to hold a straight face if I were to confront them with this outright fabrication. What should be done?
ANSWER:
The Gemorah in yevamos 63a is instructive here. It tells us that Rav’s wife would always serve him something that was the opposite of what he had actually requested. When Rav asked for lentils, she would serve him chickpeas. When he wished for chickpeas, she would serve him lentils.
Later on, when Rav’s son Chiyah was old enough to comprehend what was happening, the young Rav Chiya decided to help out his father: when his father asked for lentils, he made the switch himself and told his mother to make chickpeas. Rav then proceeded to tell his son that the marital disharmony was improving.
Rav Chiyah then admitted to his father that he was actually the one who had altered the request, so that his father Rav would receive what he actually wanted. Rav told Chiyah that he should not do so in the future, for the pasuk in Yirmiyahu 9:4 states, “Limdu leshonam daber sheker – They taught their tongues to speak falsehood.”
Why did Rav stop Rav Chiya from doing so? Was he not fulfilling Kivud Av v’Aim and also lying to promote shalom – peace? The Yam shel Shlomo (Yevamos 6:46) explains that here, Rav Chiya could possibly learn to make a habit out of lying on a regular basis. This would chalilah inculcate in him the trait of lying – sheker.
A Rebbe’s job is to take the place of the parent during his hours of instruction. He must also ensure that his student not be inculcated with improper traits. While it may be true that such a forgery at this age is adorable – when the young child will grow up and do such a forgery – it is most assuredly not cute.
If we ignore these moments of loving instruction, we risk that they develop into future liars and criminals. There are stories of seemingly sincere individuals asking notaries to sign off on signatures of a wife, for a second mortgage – when she is not present. Rav Elyashiv ruled categorically that this is entirely forbidden for a notary to do. These situations begin when we do not utilize educational moments properly. The two cutie-pies should be brought in and instructed lovingly that what they did was wrong and against the Torah.
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