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Dating Stories and the Parsha – Chayei Sara

FILE - In this June 15, 2017 photo, people walk inside the Oculus in New York. Google has agreed to a $391.5 million settlement with 40 states in connection with an investigation into how the company tracked users’ locations. State attorneys general announced the settlement Monday, Nov. 14, 2022 calling it the largest multistate privacy settlement in U.S history. (AP Photo/Frank Franklin II, File)

Tehillah was picked up for her date in the evening.  She was waiting upstairs while the young man, Shlomo,  made small talk with her parents at the dining room table.  Her mother had put out an assortment of cookies and brownies that she had taken out of her freezer and Poland Spring water with some cups and napkins.  Shlomo did not partake, but the conversation had gone well.  Her parents eventually called her down, the introductions were made, and then they were off on their way.

Shlomo had parked a half block away.  Tehillah wondered why he did not park closer.  Some young men are not so comfortable parking in front of the house, but half a block is a bit too far. It seemed to clash with the self-confidence that he had displayed with her parents, that she had overheard from upstairs. 

Shlomo cordially walked her to the door of his car and opened it for her.  He pulled out of the spot somewhat abruptly.  Tehillah dismissed it as the typical driving pattern of inexperienced male drivers.  Generally, frum girls actually do drive much better than boys do at least in the first few years.

Still, Tehillah thought that Shlomo’s driving was a bit rockier than what she would have expected.  Once again, she detected somewhat of a disconnect between Shlomo’s conversational self-confidence and his less than stellar driving abilities.  She was not the only one who found Shlomo’s driving somewhat wanting.

“ “WEE-oww-WEE-oww” – went the siren accompanied by the flashing red light.   

Shlomo said, “I will handle this, just don’t say anything,” assuringly. 

Tehillah did not understand.  Why would she say anything.

The police officer approached the car and Shlomo rolled down his window.  The police officer said three words, “License and registration, please.”

Shlomo gave him his license and registration.

“You do know why I pulled you over, right?

“No. I do not.”

“You were driving erratically. Wait here, please.”

The police officer came back rather quickly. There was anger in his eyes.

“This is NOT A LICENSE!  THIS IS A PERMIT!  YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DRIVE!”

“Yes, I am, officer.”

“What do you mean, you are allowed to drive.  This is a permit, not a driver’s license!”

The young woman accompanying me is an adult, she is over 21.”

Now, Tehillah could no longer contain herself. She was unnerved by Shlomo’s smooth-talking, self-assured manners and method of behavior.

She said, “Oh no, don’t drag me into this!”

Then she directed herself to the police officer.

“Officer, I have nothing to do with this!  He did NOT TELL ME that he did not have a license!”

“And the servant took ten camels of his master’s camels..”  The servant, of course, is Eliezer and he was sent on a quest by Avrohom Avinu to find a shidduch, a wife, for his son Yitzchok.  But what is the need to mention that they were his master’s camels?  There was no Hertz Rent-a-Camel back then.  Why then did the pasuk specifically mention that they were his master’s camels?

Rashi explains (based upon the Midrash in Bereishis Rabbah 59:11), “they were distinguishable from other camels by the fact that they would go out muzzled to prevent robbery, so that they should not graze in the fields of others.”

Still, we may ask that while this is an interesting fact, why does the Torah mention this incident in the context of finding a shidduch for Yitzchok Avinu?

The answer is that the Torah is teaching us a valuable lesson, one that Shlomo, perhaps did not yet realize.

Before we embark upon any important endeavor, especially one that will start the nation of Klal Yisroel, we must make sure to endow it with Kedusha, holiness. We must also make sure that all beginnings are completely ideal and reflect the highest of standards.  Holiness, means to both emulate and promote the values, ideals, and midos of HaKadosh Boruch Hu.   Hashem does not like dishonesty or theft.  The Torah is going out of this way to show us that this is how we should be conducting our lives – to sanctify the Name of Hashem in all that we do.

This also answers a separate question that exists on the topic of Chanukah.  Why did the Chashmonayim find it necessary to find pure oil?  Why couldn’t they use impure oil?  The halacha is that when doing things for the public, use of Tameh is permitted.  Why did the Chasmonayim need to wait for the new and pure oil to arrive?

The answer is that all beginnings should be completely ideal and reflect the highest of standards.  This was the re-dedication of the Holy Beis HaMikdash.  It should measure up to the highest standards.

By the same token, when we date we should not employ subterfuge or not divulge information such as not having a driver’s license.  Our main focus should be to sanctify Hashem;s Name.  Hashem’s signet ring is emes – truth. Shlomo went about things incorrectly.

After the police officer left, Tehillah asked Shlomo to drive her directly home.  She neither wished to waste her time or even Shlomo’s time. 

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To submit a story that may be used in a future parsha sheet, please email the author at [email protected]

 



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