by Rabbi Yair Hoffman for 5tjt.com
AT a Torah uMesorah convention about ten years ago or so, Rav Yissachar Frand once commented, “No one is jealous of another person’s…
eyeglass prescription.”
It is an important point. The idea is applicable for young women who have applied to seminaries, and wait in careful anticipation for whether or not they were accepted to their first choice or not. In the semi-post-covid world, February 23rd, is now the day when thousands and thousands of young ladies will be receiving their answers.
Unfortunately, some of the young ladies take it very hard when they do not get in to teh seminary that they had thought was ideal for them. Those around them should be sensitive to how they are feeling. If it is possible, however, to somehow convey the message that, “Ain Od Milvado – there is nothing aside from Hashem. He is a loving and caring father, and He wants what is best for us. He wants our closeness to Him.
This is what Rabbi Frand meant when he said that no one is jealous of another person’s eyeglass prescription.
Whatever Hashem does is for the best. This does not mean that one should not try further to get in on the second time around, on the waiting list, so to speak. But we must realize that kol ma d’avid rachmana letav avid – everything that Hashem does is for the best. We are all soldiers in Hashem’s army. Some soldiers have more difficult tasks than others. In the second World War, there were some soldiers who entered Europe through Normandy on D-Day (June 6th). Others entered on D-Day plus 1 or D-Day plus 2.
It doesn’t always happen the way we want it, but bitachon means that what Hashem does is for our best.
What follows below is a video that allows us to gain some perspective on the idea. An adam gadol once said that the day of seminary acceptance or rejection letter is a good model for a Yom Hadin.. Halvai we should reach half of the trepidation for it. If the author caused someone to feel bad because of this post, I apologize. It was meant to help alleviate tension not exasperate it.
The author can be reached at [email protected]
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2 Responses
This article sounds like a marketing tool to inspire girls to want to have a good Seminary, to have a good Life.
The truth is just the opposite. When you follow the continuing lives of the typical girl you see just the opposite. Those with the “plain” seminaries, or no Seminary, continued on to a beautiful life filled with Mazel and Hatzlocho and Geshmakeh families.
We need twin, or at least sister of close age, research to see the value of different derachim. Select one at random, send one to seminary, one to college, and see who gets a better shidduch. By the time their children will be growing up, we will have definite answer how their choices affected families in a longer term.