By Rabbi Yair Hoffman for 5tjt.com
When someone has a baby boy, there is a special blessing that is recited called HaTov v’haMaitiv. There is, however, a chiddush, or a novel insight, of the Chofetz Chaim himself – not found in earlier commentaries, as far as this author is aware – that when a baby girl is born a shehecheyanu is recited (See Mishna Brurah 223:2). The blessing should be recited both by the father and the mother.
The blessing, of course, is: “Blessed are You, Hashem, our G-d, King of the universe, who has allowed us to live, has preserved us, and has enabled us to reach this time.” (It is a rather joyous occasion when one sees this bracha recited with true emotion.)
The Chofetz Chaim reasons that it is no different than not having seen a good friend for thirty days – one is just as happy if not more when one first lays eyes upon his baby daughter.
NOT WITHOUT THOSE WHO QUESTION IT
But the Chofetz Chaim’s chiddush is not without those who question it. The Sefer VeZos Habracha (chapter 18) cites the opinions of both Rav Elyashiv zt”l and Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt”l that one should not recite this bracha straight out, but should rather have it in mind when reciting a bracha on a new article of clothing or fruit. This is also the view of Dayan Yisroel Yaakov Fisher zt”l (Even Yisroel Vol. IX p.71). The reasoning for avoiding the bracha straight out is that we see in Shulchan Aruch OC 225:2 that a bracha of Shehecheyanu is not recited on a good friend that one has never seen before and had only written to.
On the other hand, one can make a very fine argument distinguishing between a baby daughter of yours and your spouse that you have never seen before, and a pen-pal that you have never seen before. Everyone absolutely loves their daughter tremendously and has untold joy when seeing her. Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l seems to be making this argument in his Igros Moshe OC Vol. V Siman 43). Rav Feinstein also points out that even the poorest and most indigent of people are profoundly happy and no one ever questions as to how they can financially afford to feed another mouth.
WHY WASN’T THE BLESSING MENTIONED EARLIER?
As to the point of why it was not mentioned earlier, the answer that Rav Feinstein seems to give is that it was so obvious to other Poskim that there was no need to mention it (this is also the near implication of the Mishna Brurah as well). Rav Feinstein even points out that the Aruch haShulchan doesn’t even mention it. He states that the Aruch haShulchan would have argued with him if he had disagreed with this point.
WHAT ABOUT TWINS – ONE BOY AND ONE GIRL?
Fascinatingly enough, the idea of reciting the Shehecheyanu on a girl when there is a boy that one will or already has recited a HaTov veHaMeitiv upon, is a debate among the Poskim. Does one include the baby girl in the haTov v’HaMeitiv and not recite the Shehecheyanu? In this matter, do we consider the HaTov v’HaMeitiv as a sort of super-shehecheyanu that encompasses all?
Rav Chaim Kanievsky Shlita is of the opinion that these two blessings are two separate matters entirely, and each bracha is, in fact recited separately (cited in Lefa’er ulevarech p. 91). On the other hand, Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein Shlita in his Toras HaYoledes (Chapter 37:4) cites proofs that the HaTov uMaitiv would supersede the Shehecheyanu on the girl.
WHAT IF ONE DID NOT RECITE THE SHEHECHEYANU WHEN ONE FIRAT SAW THE BABY?
In the Ser Lefa’er ulevarech, the views of Rav Nissim Karelitz zt”l and lbc”l Rav Chaim Kanievsky shlita that one may recite the blessing later. Interestingly enough, Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein shlita (Toras HaYoledes Chapter 37 footnote 6) writes that the joy one feels is less the second time one sees the baby than the first and remains with a tzarich iyun. One can perhaps question this point from the halacha regarding a shehecheyanu on clothing that one still recites it as long as one is still feeling the joy – the implication is even if there is less joy.
MORE BOYS OR MORE GIRLS?
According to science, it is the man who determines the actual gender of the baby, depending on whether forming tissue is carrying the X or the Y chromosome. An X chromosome combines with the mother’s X chromosome to make a baby girl (XX) and a Y chromosome will combine with the mother’s to make a boy (XY).
As an aside, there was a study from Newcastle University a number of years ago. The Newcastle University study suggests that an as-yet undiscovered gene controls whether the man’s forming tissue will contains more X or more Y chromosomes, which affects the gender of his children. On a larger scale, the number of men with more X material compared to the number of men with more Y material affects the gender ratio of children born each year.
The research involved a study of 927 family trees containing information on 556,387 people from North America and Europe going back to 1600. The work by Corry Gellatly, a research scientist at the university, has shown that men inherit a tendency to have more sons or more daughters from their parents. This means that a man with many brothers is more likely to have sons, while a man with many sisters is more likely to have daughters.
RECITED THE BLESSING ON THE WRONG BABY
What happens when the father is so excited that he enters the nursery ward and sees what he thinks is his new baby girl, but really it’s a different baby, and he recited the bracha? Does he recite the bracha again when he realizes his error and sees his real baby girl? Most people would guess that one does recite the blessing again because he never saw his real baby the first time that he had recited the bracha. Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein in his Chashukei Chemed on Brachos 59b rules that he should recite the bracha again. This author would like to add one caveat – he should first say the words, “Boruch Shaim Kvod Malchuso l’olam va’ed – blessed be the Name of His glorious Kingdom forever onward” – in order to make up for the bracha levatala.
The author can be reached at [email protected]
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