A Jew suffering from difficult Shalom Bayis problems visited the home of HaGaon HaRav Gershon Edelstein on Thursday for advice, Kikar H’Shabbos reported.
The Rosh Yeshivah responded that there’s a very simple eitzah to solve all Shalom Bayis problems and this eitzah is invaluable.
“Lishtok U’L’Chabeid, [Be silent and show respect],” the Rosh Yeshivah said, and then repeated the two words several times: “Lishtok U’L’Chabeid.”
The Rosh Yeshivah added: “The main thing is first to remain silent and then to show respect. Then everything will be b’seder.”
[It should be noted that the Rosh Yeshivah’s advice is geared toward those with “run-of-the-mill” relationship issues. Those who are facing serious marriage issues or abuse should seek professional advice.]
(YWN Israel Desk – Jerusalem)
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14 Responses
Pashut. You don’t need a gadol for that
Seems like the Rav’s prescription might also have “off-label” efficacy for posting in the CR.
My two word secret for Sholom Bayis is, “Yes, dear”. As long as my husband keeps saying it, all is perfect.
There is an argument whether the mezuza is placed vertically or horizantally, so we place it slented to satisfy both views. This teaches the importance of compromise. As the word nisuyin, to elevate reflects, place each other on a pedestal.
Lisgtok, being silent which the word is the same letters as listen. By being silent they can get to compromise. Lechabed, to honor, is to elevate each other.
My two words are I’m sorry!
Easier said then done.
With all due respect to R’ Edelstein, the two words for Sholom Bayis are “yes, dear”.
Arab Avignon Miller’s 10 commandments of marriage should be required listening for all young couples. I truly believe it saved my marriage b”h over 30 years ago
Spellcheck messed up it’s supposed to say Harav Avigdor Miller
A lot of men are not truly giving the ladies what they really need.
Ladies are very different then men.
Allow instant divorce from the start with mimimal repercussion and maybe bring back allowing more than one wife. That ought to keep things smooth.
Is this a politically correct gloss from YWN [It should be noted that the Rosh Yeshivah’s advice is geared toward those with “run-of-the-mill” relationship issues. Those who are facing serious marriage issues or abuse should seek professional advice.] or a message from Rav Edelstein Shlita?
I thought it would be “Kupat Ha’ir”!