Let me tell you a little about myself. I grew up in Flatbush and went to regular mainstream Yeshivos. I learned in a top Yeshiva in Eretz Yisrael, learned in Kollel in BMG for almost 10 years after my chassunah. I was considered a masmid and lamdan. When my family grew, ka”h, and I went to work, I was very successful and did very well, b”h. But, I never imagined the turn my life would take.

From the time I was 6 years old thru 33 years old – 27 years of my life, I spent almost all my time learning. I loved learning. I was my life. So why couldn’t I get myself to open a Gemara?

It started with pushing off learning for a day, then a day became a week, and before I could blink, it became years. I was now almost 40 years old and I haven’t learned a blasted word for 6 years.

I was also not who I once was. It started with becoming a little less careful about z’man Kriyas Shema, and then it became davening Mincha in the winter. Who can just stop everything in the middle of a workday? Then the business trips started. If I pack my tefillin I’ll have to check a bag, and I cannot risk missing the meeting. No problem – after all, there’s a Chabad in Vegas.

I wanted to learn with my son. He was getting older but had no interest. It turned into a fight, night after night. And not just with him but my wife too. I felt like she was blaming me, and I got upset. Deep down I knew she was right, and I expressed my anger at myself at her and my children.

Could my wife and children respect me if I didn’t respect myself? When looking in the mirror, the “grubbe ba’al habos” ridiculed night after night in my dorm rooms and dira was staring back at me.

In 2012, my wife I saw an ad about the Siyum HaShas in MetLife Stadium. I had no choice, and I went. I quickly regretted coming. Speech after boring speech, it was not for me. I started to walk around and met some friends. We hung out a little, until one of them said, “I think they’re about to start Kaddishm, maybe we should at least answer amein once so that we didn’t come for nothing.”

We went inside.

The roar of Amein Yehei Shmei Rabba shook me to my core. I hadn’t said those words with kavanah since Yom Kipper. And then, as if in slow motion I saw the crowd erupt with joy. The dancing, the complete strangers embracing, the singing, for what? What were they celebrating? What made them so happy? When it hit me.

I decided right then and there to do the daf.
While organizing my thoughts, still overwhelmed by the scene in front of me, I felt myself being pulled in. Not just emotionally, but physically – I was now dancing too. And it felt good because I now had something to dance for.

At the moment, the commitment didn’t seem so daunting, it seemed exciting.

On the way back to our car, I excitedly told my wife that the next morning I was going to start learning Daf Yomi. I could tell she was skeptical, but she tried to not let it show and be supportive.

The next day, I went to a daf shiur. And, it felt good. So, I went again… and again… and again…

My life changed. My family changed. My children changed. Slowly, but steadily, life became fulfilling, satisfying, meaningful and happy. Every day, the daf wasn’t in my life, my life was in the daf.

I’m still a ba’al habos, and I’m not a masmid anymore. But, I’m about to become a Shas Yid for the first time in my life.

Yes, although it may be expensive, I am going to The Siyum HaShas with my entire family. It’s not just an event or the place to be, it’s a lifechanging experience like no other.

I have heard some friends talking about whether or not they were going and if it was worth it. I couldn’t believe it. We spend money on aged steaks and wine, scotch and charcuterie boards, business class tickets to Eretz Yisrael and so much more. But, when it comes to changing our lives? To infusing ourselves with the inspiration that makes life meaningful and ourselves, wives and children happy, why would we hesitate for a second?

I am going to The Siyum HaShas. Are you?

Dov Bergman – Flatbush

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