It’s not easy to be divorced and it’s certainly not easy to be a child of divorced parents.
Tova, Program Coordinator at Em Habanim Support Center for Single Mothers, grew up in a divorced home. “Pesach was always the hardest; it’s such a family time,” she remembers. “Sure, people invited us to their Sedorim, but we never really felt at home. We were the guests, the nebuchs, and we hated it.”
Em Habanim was founded 13 years ago to provide support for single mothers and their children — counseling, tutoring, programs for the youngsters, short vacations, and yes, a Pesach Seder.
Each year, Em Habanim invites some 45 single mother families to their Pesach Seder and first-day Yomtov getaway. Together with the hosting families, there are some 250 participants, most of them children. Em Habanim rents a yeshiva dorm for the first day of Yomtov and hires a caterer to provide glatt kosher Yomtov meals.
Tova continues, “It’s an amazing Yomtov experience for everyone. We invest in lots of prizes and incentives, so almost all the children stay up until the very end – which can be close to 2:00am – as they share divrei Torah, sing, and yes, perform plays!. On Erev Yomtov the adult madrichim help the children to prepare short, four minute plays about yetzias Mitzrayim and the makkos, and then, during the meal, the kids perform (in full costume; we even have a frog costume!) for the mothers. Following the seuda, all the boys gather at one table to sing Hallel and all the songs of Nirtzah together. Many mothers have told us that it’s the highlight of their year.”
To accommodate the many different minhagim, Em Habanim makes three Sedorim: one Litvish, one Chassidish (with plenty of Yiddish mixed in) and one Sephardi, but for the meal and singing at the end, everyone comes to one central dining room. After Yomtov, each child is presented with a beautiful age-appropriate afikomen gift, and on erev Yomtov, each mother is presented with a special gift l’kavod Yomtov Pesach. This year it’s gold plated costume jewelry, donated by a generous sponsor. For some of the mothers, this is the only personal item they will be getting l’kavod Yomtov.
Em Habanim is an organization that is close to my heart. During the two years that my youngest daughter was trying to get a divorce as well as for the period that she was divorced, Em Habanim was always there to give her the help and support she needed. She met a whole group of young women facing a similar challenge, and developed some very close friendships. Erev Sukkos, Em Habanim sent a team of men to her house to build her Sukkah. Her three year old son, of course, was not obligated in the mitzvah of Sukkah, but, as Tova explained, “We want the kids to be like everyone else. They should never feel that they are different.”
They should never feel that they are different. That, in a nutshell, is the rationale behind Em Habanim’s Seder.
(YWN – Israel Desk, Jerusalem)
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One Response
Is there some kind of subtle parallel between the need for 3 different kinds of Sedorim, and divorce itself?
Could one wish there was 1 Seder for all Bnai Yisroel? I’m not talking about Moshiach, I’m talking about Be’Fikhuh U’Vil’Vuv’khu La’Asos, Hashta.