An avreich seeking lower alimony payments tried his luck in court. He explained that his kollel payment doesn’t permit him to pay his ex-wife the alimony she seeks but he can manage 1,400 NIS monthly. The court said “you are young, health and able, so get a job, even at minimum wage”. The avreichim explained that limud Torah is his profession, but the court is not in agreement.
Ashdod Family Court Justice Anat Alfasi heard the case in which an avreich wished to continue learning but his former wife wanted full payment as she is entitled to by Israeli law. He explained that the amount set, 2,750 NIS is too high for him and that he can manage 1,400 NIS.
The ex-wife told the court that when they got married she was under the impression that her chosson was an עילוי, but she learned that in actuality, he is quite a lazy individual. She asked the court to set the monthly payment for her and their one-year-old son. The ex-wife asked for 4,500 monthly for their child, and 4,200 in alimony as well as an additional 3,500 for expenses for a total of 12,200 NIS per month. She told the court that her former husband is quite capable of earning enough to support her and their child as he should.
The avreich on the other hand insisted the best he can do is 1,400 NIS monthly. He explained he has returned to the home of his parents to cut expenses to the bare minimum, but his kollel stipend is only 1,500 NIS monthly, showing he was only keeping 100 NIS for himself.
The court ordered him to pay much less than the ex-wife was seeking, but far more than he can afford on his kollel salary, instructing him to join the workforce.
Justice Alfasi explained that every father must work to his maximum capacity to make certain his family is supported. This she explained holds true for an avreich as well. Alfasi cited a ruling from the Rabbinical Supreme Court Beis Din in which the rabbonim said “a righteous woman’s willingness to accept the burden of supporting the family on her shoulders, to permit the man to continue his limud Torah after they are married, is only voluntary.”
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21 Responses
This is the Halacha (as pointed out by the judge), as brought in Shulchan Aruch. I’m surprised, but satisfied, that the Zionist government decided to follow Halacha in this case.
Lots of luck….this disgusting display by an avreich who refuses to provide support to his own child in the name of learning torah shouldn’t be tolerated. There are hundreds of thousands of frum bochurim in EY who manage to both learn and yet earn a parnassah as well. The court should throw him in jail with the other deadbeats and lowlifes until he agrees to go out and work at least part-time to make some money to support his ex-wife and child. His behavior only reinforces the already terrible bias that most normal Israelis feel about segments of the chareidi tzibur.
My ex got away with no child support!! 6 kids!!
It seems the kollel doesn’t think he’s worth that much, but that the wife has evidence he is quite skilled and can easily earn a middle class salary (12,200 shekels). It sounds very strange, but then again most domestic relations cases sound weird.
And one should ask why there wasn’t a Beis Din to order him to earn enough to pay for the family.
I thought in order to get a job one needed to be in the army, which bnei kollel werent
I agree with the judge. The amount set is still quite high I think, but that’s just the way it is.
The women’s request is idiotic however. The average salary is something like 9000 NIS, and she demands alimony of 12,200 NIS? That’s just crazy.
This will be enforced by the courts, a child requires child support no matter what.
I don’t know what Dayanim would paskin in such a case, but one thing is for sure, the wife’s demand is outrageous! The average salary in Israel is around 7,500 shekels a month. Only people in high tech and the like make salaries like that (10-15,000 shekels/m). Even if he made 12,200 a month it is ludicrous to demand his whole salary go towards his Ex and one child! That’s like saying to someone in the states, “Go make a $100k and give it all to your ex-wife while you’re sleeping in Central Park!”
It sickens me how ill-will between divorcing couples causes them to loose all sense of reality! No woman should have to suffer the status of an aguna, nor should any man be sucked dry for every penny he makes.
This article made me curious – does someone here know whether a woman’s kesuva (which 1. obligates a man to feed and cloth his wife and 2. obligates the husband to pay a fixed sum if he dies or divorces his wife) enforceable in Israeli courts? Could the Judge have said something like, “You owe her ksuva money”? When married, can a woman require her husband to support her? or do we say that since the expectation is that the husband sit and learns, it’s as if the woman was mochel at certain parts of the kesuvah when they got married? Now I am curious.
And about time, too.
Telling a judge that “his kollel payment doesn’t permit him to pay his ex-wife the alimony she seeks but he can manage 1,400 NIS monthly” was like a red rag being waved in front of a bull. Surely this “avreich melumad” had the sense to hire a lawyer to advise and to represent him in court?
And if he could not afford it where were the askanim surrounding his kollel?
as far as I remember there is nowhere in halacha that says you have to support your ex-wife. he needs no mechila not to support her. if she wants him so badly to support the child let he hand him over.
how often are there stories of people that get divorced and one of the patents completely rip the children out of the others life, because they hate their ex. how many of these stories kill the kids and have them live in misery because there can’t be civil comment about the other parent from either side.
so before we pick sides we should hear the whole story. for all we know the lady is a liar and he does learn well and she wants $$$ out of him. and she hired better lawers
on the other hand he could be a lowlife that trick a good girl to marry him.
It bears repeating… Rambam clearly wrote that you’re NOT allowed to just learn full-time and say that you’ll live off of money from others (tzedaka). In fact, Rambam says that doing so will make you lose olam haba, steal, ruin your yddiishkeit, and some other pretty strong words against it. Read it yourself!
Bravo, judge! It’s about time these deadbeat dads were held accountable. Mom shouldn’t be greedy, but her children need to be clothed, fed & educated.
I need to point some other things out –
The only thing people point to in the Rambam to refute this is where he gives a bracha / wish to those who do undertake learning full-time, that Hashem should provide & protect them. This is not a stira with his other statement – Rambam is clear that you are NOT allowed to simply say that I refuse to work.
By the way, even the best learners of Jewish history ‘worked’ – sometimes by teaching, sometimes by leading the community, sometimes by being a doctor, sometimes by running a store, sometimes by being a shepard, sometimes by being a shoe cobbler, sometimes by being a tailor.
NEVER in Jewish history do we have an entire population of Jews refusing to work & declaring that they learn full-time! Even the Kohanim & Levi’im worked in the Beit Hamikdash – this meant real work needed to be done there, NOT that they just learned in the Beit Midrash. There were also chachamim that worked as Judges, but that’s also work.
You planted something, eat the fruits too
Not a surprising story. They don’t support their own country, why should they support their children?
Not sure why they didn’t turn to a Beis Din instead of the secular court for a civil matter.
Where are her parents in all this? He is still learning, since when did their obligation stop?
bris kodesh – I see you are very fond of repeating the Rambam (did you get to 101 times yet). Please see:
1) The Keseph Mishna on said Rambam
2) The Tur
3) The Shulchan Aruch AND Rema
4) The Shach
Every single one of the above Paskins not like the Rambam.
The Rambam himself acknowledges that the prevelent custom in his day is not in accordence with his Psak (see Rambam on Mishnayos (Avos)
According to the Rambam (as understood by the Keseph Mishna and as was the realty in those communities who adopted the custom in accordance with the Rambam) even a Congregational Rabbi would not be allowed to receive a salary. The Rosh and the Tur lived a life a severe poverty in Spain after they fled from Germany due to this. The Rosh was an official Rabbi and headed a Yeshiva. His son R’ Yaacov (The Tur) learned full time. The Tur was so poor financially that he asked his father if he should make his Shabbos like a weekday. This means he could not afford an extra small piece of fish or additional bread for the third Shabbos meal. (See Tur in Hilchos Shabbos Where he discusses this)
Also, even the Rambam agrees to a Yisacher and Zevulin type partnership. He clearly writes in a letter (brought by Rav Mattisyahu Solomon)that before his brother died he (the Rambam) learned full time and was supported by his brother. I will leave it to you to work out why this is not in contradiction with the Rambams Psak in Mishna Torah and his Perush in Mishnaos. Good Luck.
AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE
It amazes me how many Poskim and Dayanim read and comment on YWN! ….oh, your not a Posek or Dayan?!
Ah, “Non Political” – I give you credit for actually having taken the time to (apparently) learn through some of these sources. Unfortunately, there’s too much to be said and learned out on this topic and I can’t begin to do so in this venue. Rest assured, there are many many volumes of seforim on this topic that deal with the actual sources. Yes, I’m fond of quoting the Rambam simply because it is one of the oldest, most reliable and trusted sources on this topic.
I’ll say, that you should take the time to learn the opinions and sources that deal with your above cited sources. The most important point that I’m trying to point out is that there are many halachic opinions on this topic & the chareidi leaders have chosen to not just hold of their opinions – unfortunately, they’ve chosen to villify any other valid opinion. That’s why they end up with “yehareig v’al ya’avor” statements on the topic.
As for your “Yisacher and Zevulin type partnership” – you’re correct, that a person is ALLOWED to create this type of partnership with another WILLING party. However, he is certainly NOT allowed to force that “partnership” on others… certainly NOT ON AN ENTIRE NATION! By the way, the entire point of partnerships like this or the idea that we have an army of people learning while we have an army of people also fighting is that both groups need to work together. I have found that the leadership of the chareidi movements have not attempted to do so. Instead of learning for the sake of the well-being of our soldiers & country, instead of having special rallies & prayer sessions for our collective security, instead of creating chavrutas or “twinning” between the groups, the chareidi leadership have kept the groups at odds with each other.
I personally can’t stand when people make the immature argument that the chilonim or big, bad zionists started it. Or that the chilonim or the medinah or the army must 1st make everything perfectly acceptable to the chareidim before they’ll join in. That’s NOT the way it works. Hashem gave us the Torah with directives that include being not just an Ohr LaGoyim but kal v’chomer an Ohr for those not-yet-religious. Grow up! It’s not the job of the chilonim to make the army fully kosher and full of Torah learning just to accomodate religious people (halevai). It’s the job of the religious to bring religion (in a NICE way, NOT through coersion) to the not-yet-religious!