31 Responses

1. Dear YW Editor,

   This article is a bit misleading, as of course everyone is well aware of not leaving a child unattended, however in this cases , the person forgot about the child, as change of route, and CHASDEI HASHEM the babysitter called the house which was a reminder!!!

2. Always turn around and check your back seat before you leave the car, whether you’re traveling alone or with passengers. Make it a habit, it could save a life.

3. Thanks for reporting this, but I don’t think we need the picture.

4. We must be super careful especially in the summer heat.

5. what is misleading about this story???

   let’s just be thankful to HaShem that all is OK with this baby and doven that the tragedy that could have occurred doesn’t happen to anyone!

6. A child, even attended, when the car and A/c are off, should also be checked on to make sure s/he is not sweating too hard, etc., if one parent remains in the car while the other runs out for two minutes etc.

7. I’m a social worker and we learned about this in school. In the state of NY, a person can lose their child to the CPS (Child Protective Service) for leaving a baby in a car twice. The first time they get a warning and a minor charge, the second time the court is mandated to take away the child!

8. what is this..hashem was nice to us this time”what about everytime?

9. The Florida law is specifically aboout a RUNNING car? At least a running car might have the air conditioner on. It’s the non-running car that’s guaranteed to turn into an oven in 10 minutes in the sun.

10. Avreich-
    What’s your problem? You seem to be making the story less alarming by saying there was a change of route. Who cares about a change of route. If your a responsible parent, a change of route doesn’t make a difference.

11. I have no idea if this incident was caused by carpooling numerous children in one car. Please don’t accuse me of being a feminist, but sometimes men are not at the same level of responsibility as women are when it comes to certain things. There is a reason that Hashem made it that women have and raise babies, not men. Perhaps we need to have more women taking care of the babies, preferably at home, and more men out in the workplace.

12. People are so involved with themselves that they forget their responsibilities towards other human beings,even their owm children.Frum means to be careful about others’ lives.

13. To Gold; I back you 100 on your last line.
    Tell that to the one’s deciding the men learn (we hope), the women work and the children go to the goite/shikse, or child care warehouse?
    These are probably the same ones telling the bochurim “Look for money”.
    The first question my son or i get asked is “how many years are you looking for?”. Translation; much money are you looking for? What degree does the girl need?
    The Gemorra in Kidushin says anyone marrying for money will have problems.
    Anyone with the guts to tell me how this is different? “My son is the best boy in Lakewood” lol, am i to sell him to the highest bidder that has a decent reputation.

14. mayim stated “‘Hashem was nice to us this time’’what about everytime?”

    There is a concept of “oiver tachas kir natui”, or someone who puts himself into a dangerous position. This is to be always avoided because a Yid in danger is subject to a din Torah in Baisdin Shel Malah. They review his cheshbon of mitzvos to see if the individual is zioche bedin, or Chas veshalom not, in which case the person would not pass unscathed.

    So normally when a person has placed himself in danger he is normally subject to midas hadin, rather then midas ha’chessed.

    Hence “Hashem was nice to us this time” is perfectly valid statement.

    Nice = Midas Hachessed.

    As to what sort of din could they subject a koton, that’s another chapter. But if you insist, we can b’ezrash Hashem go there also.

15. Gold says: “Perhaps we need to have more women taking care of the babies, preferably at home, and more men out in the workplace.”

    What a concept! Did anyone ever hear that before?

16. How come there are still such irresponsible frum adults? You NEVER leave a child alone,ANYWHERE!And waht is this”Hasem was NICE THIS TIME? Hashem is ALWAYS NICE

17. I was there and saw the whole thing. He FORGOT, that’s possible and can happen to anyone! May Hashem guard over us. YOu can make laws and arrests from today till tomorrow, anyone can forget ANYTHING! It is pointless to shpar any yesodos or make rules, people are people and that will not change. It was a really scary scene, and B’H we were spared the worst.

18. Gold: You hit the nail on the head! The overwhelming majority of these stories happen with fathers rather than mothers. I know us men would hate to believe this, but it’s just one of the ways in which Hashem differentiates men from women! Don’t fight nature.

19. Gold you are 100% correct! Women these days are busy all day as proffesionals in the workplace while the men are learning and “taking care of” the kids.. If they’re going to be so irresponsible by almost killing their children- they should go make some money so their wives can stay home and make sure the kids stay alive.

20. Gold,

    I beg to differ! Recently I witnessed something to the contrary. I saw alittle boy of barely 3 playing on abusy street unsupervised while his mother was ina store shopping. The child put his foot in the middle of the street and the mother didnt even deem it necccessary to check up on him but instead, calmly did her shopping. I guesse its a nature, some are more cautious than otheres.

21. I agree with Yatzmich. A responsible parent doesn’t “forget” his/her child in the car. Anyone who has done so should look at it as a wake-up call and seek some sort of intervention/counseling/support (whatever it is that he/she needs. Perhaps they are overwhelmed or stressed and need some sort of help for a while, until they can clear their head.

    We hear these stories in the frum community WAY TOO MUCH!!! When they make it into the secular press it’s a giant chilul hashem. Kids wandering the streets, or being left in cars is not safe or responsible in the US today.

22. More women taking care of babies, more men in the workplace………..Golden words by gold!

    Perhaps Kollel should be restricted to singles, seniors, and those TRULY worthy of a Yesachar/Zevulun relationship.

    I cringe every time I walk into a babysitting service, with multiple unattended crying babies. Hashem Yiracheim.

23. groisnaches,

    I guess you’re the one delivering the daily milk, not bringing your baby, of course. Else why would you have such experience “walking into a babysitting service”?

24. We could talk about(and bash) men and women and their nature, we could figure out statistics and see who “forgets” more often, but as “Ploni” wrote, ANYONE CAN FORGET. It is absolutely disgusting to read posts about people being careless or irrersponsible. Everyone knows that the frum community cares more about their children than anything else. (JDG – Any time there is a “crime” in the frum community it gets blown out of proportion and reported everywhere, precisely because it is a rare occurance – and because we are in Galus).

    A news tidbit about a tragedy that was averted bechasdei Hashem is SO not the place for a discussion of men leaving kollel, or other non-sense

    If the term wake-up call was meant in way, that we should do teshuva in general, then I agree – we always can. But it sounds like YW is saying “lets be more careful about this and not leave our kids in the car”. Does anyone need to be told that??? These mistakes can happen to ANYONE!!!
    So instead of bashing, we can offer suggestions instead. A GREAT RULE TO FOLLOW IS: Leave your pocketbook in the back (or for men, your wallet or cellphone) near the car seat.
    It is beyond me how people could be so critical and condescending of an action that is not only un-intentional (obviously), but it is something that would cause the person him/herself tremendous grief!
    Hashem Yishmerainu Mikol Tzorah,

25. There are many good frum babysitters that don’t have 10 kids climbing off the walls, so this whole nonsense about goyim raising your kids is a bit overrated.

    Many women choose to work for reasons other than supporting their husbands in Kolel, and, by the way, most non-Jews I know have the women working, too.

    It’s only the ones who are very successful and/or making a very nice living that can afford to live on one salary (or not even have to work at all). The rest of us have to send the kids out for at least part of the day.

    As far as who should be in kolel, there are many communities who have no spiritual leaders – someone’s got to be trained to be able to lead them and bring them close to Hashem. Who will lead the next generation of Jews if only a select few people go to kolel? Rabbeim retire and their positions need to be filled, new schools are opened and their positions need to be filled, etc. There is a place for those in both worlds of Torah and Parnassa.

    And while I agree that, as a group, women “naturally” care better for children than men, we know from our Torah that the greatest parental love is that of a father to a son, not from a mother: “KiRacheim Av al Banim”, and that during the churban when, Rachmana LiTzlan “yidei nashim rachmaniyos bishlu yilideihem”, the fathers could not come to such a rock-bottom state, and preferred to starve to death, instead, Rachmana liTzlan.

    So I would assume this father had no intention to neglect his child, as opposed to the stories I’ve read of women leaving their kids in the strollers outside the store while they go shopping inside, which is intentional and blatantly foolish.

    Also, I don’t think it’s appropriate to make foolish pronouncememts that “Hashem was nice this time”. You can bring however many gemaras and maamarei chazal you wish, but you don’t know Hashem’s cheshbonos, and, therefore, are not in a position to say when He will most likely be “nice”.

    May Hashem be gomel Chesed to all who need it, and may He redeem us all beimheira viyameinu Amein.

26. For all of you who agree that more women need to be able to be at home with their babies and toddlers, please speak to the roshei yeshivos and seminary principals that you know, and tell them that our current system has to change. Let the true learners be in kollel, and let the rest of the young men prepare themselves for parnasa BEFORE they get married (or at least be in the middle of preparing themselves). This way, there is a fighting chance that the wife/mother will have the option of staying home at least for a short time when her children are babies, and although she may eventually have to go to work part time, she will not be the sole nor major breadwinner for her family. Hashem gave out two curses – one to the man, and one to the woman. Why do women today feel that their calling in life is to take on both curses? Do they know better than Hashem? Why does the Kesuva say it is the husband’s responsibility to provide support? Were the writers of the kesuva incompetent Talmidei Chochomim? At the same time, as parents let us guide our sons to take responsibility for parnasa and plan accordingly before marriage, and let us guide our daughters to realize that a true bas Torah will attempt to be at home with her babies as much as possible. Let us stop “buying husbands” for our daughters. If there is no supply, there will be no demand!

27. Proud KAJ-WH TIDE Guy

    People are too busy period, not neccesarily with themselves. These are trying times financially and socially for everyone. Don’t turn this into a middos issue.

    By the way thanks to the feminist movement, everyone NEEDS 2 salaries to get by. (See economics book primer). Staying homes moms is a luxury few can afford

28. To Hakatan
    1)”there are many that don’t have kids climbing (I suppose you mean loving motherly attention) etc… therefore this is overrated.” OH! So half raised by Goyim and/overcrowded is okay?
    2) “Many women choose to work for reasons other than supporting their husbands in Kolel” Who was talking about those women? They are working for even a less valid reason.
    3)”by the way, most non-Jews I know have the women working, too” And therefore we need to follow?
    4) “The rest of us have to send the kids out for at least part of the day.” A specious (useless) argument at best. Aren’t we talking about families where only one parent works? Shouldn’t this child be raised by one of the parents? (even if he gets a kollel stipend, usually both incomes add up to one)
    5)”there are many communities who have no spiritual leaders – someone’s got to be trained”. Should we put our children in jeopardy (with sometimes risk at kids resulting) so that a select few can become leaders? Isn’t our responsibility to our children first? If we do our chiuv Hashem does His.
    6) “I agree that, as a group, women “naturally” care better for children than men” I also agree. The rest sounds like Kofie tove.
    7)”I would assume this father had no intention to neglect his child” I go further. I am SURE he had no intention to neglect. Ute brishe askinon. But his cell phone he would have remembered.
    8) “as opposed to the stories…” Anyone who equates leaving a child outside a store’s door, with forgetting a child in a car, should not be in charge of children.
    9) Your final broches, although superfluous, Amen.
    Good work Gold.

29. To Hakatan
    1)”there are many that don’t have kids climbing (I suppose you mean loving motherly attention) etc… therefore this is overrated.” OH! So half raised by Goyim and/overcrowded is okay?
    2) “Many women choose to work for reasons other than supporting their husbands in Kolel” Who was talking about those women? They are working for even a less valid reason.
    3)”by the way, most non-Jews I know have the women working, too” And therefore we need to follow?
    4) “The rest of us have to send the kids out for at least part of the day.” A specious (useless) argument at best. Aren’t we talking about families where only one parent works? Shouldn’t this child be raised by one of the parents? (even if he gets a kollel stipend, usually both incomes add up to one)
    5)”there are many communities who have no spiritual leaders – someone’s got to be trained”. Should we put our children in jeopardy (with sometimes risk at kids resulting) so that a select few can become leaders? Isn’t our responsibility to our children first? If we do our chiuv Hashem does His.
    6) “I agree that, as a group, women “naturally” care better for children than men” I also agree. The rest sounds like Kofie tove.
    7)”I would assume this father had no intention to neglect his child” I go further. I am SURE he had no intention to neglect. Ute brishe askinon. But his cell phone he would have remembered.
    8) “as opposed to the stories…” Anyone who equates leaving a child outside a store’s door, with forgetting a child in a car, should not be in charge of children.
    9) Your final broches, although superfluous, Amen.

30. TO:”there are many communities who have no spiritual leaders – someone’s got to be trained to be able to lead them and bring them close to Hashem”.
    I’m OK with ONLY THOSE that want to venture out of their safe cocoons, like Brooklyn, Monsey and Lakewood to be awarded, the Yisachar Zevulun relationships! Very few want to.
    ONLY a tiny percentage leave their safe communities after Kollel. How many venture out to Texas or the other states relatively empty of Yiddishkeit, etc.? Maybe 5%?! Nonsense!

31. We can all agree that no kid is suffocating in your car in 5 minutes if you leave the windows partially open for air. All the stats on the temp of a car in the summer assume that all the windows are sealed.

    For specifics, see: (No links allowed)

    Scroll down to the last graph on the page. 5-10 minutes is a non-issue.

    And, for all the hysterical folks out there who are afraid of babies being kidnapped (I am laughing just thinking of you!), I invite you to educate yourselves on the actual statistics related to kidnappings in the USA.

    Start here:
    (No Links Allowed)

    P. 12:

    “The NISMART–2 findings reinforce the 1988 study’s conclusion that teenage girls are the most frequent targets of nonfamily abductions and stereotypical kidnappings. To some extent, this finding contrasts with the image drawn from media accounts of the abduction of very young children such as Adam Walsh and Samantha Runnion. Perhaps the innocence and vulnerability of younger children ensure more publicity and greater notoriety for these cases. Nonetheless, in planning strategies for preventing and responding to nonfamily abductions, it is important to keep efforts from being misdirected by the stereotype of the preteen victim. In fact, the vulnerability of teens needs to be a central principle guiding such planning.”

    Then try this link:
    (No Links Allowed)

    “According to NCMEC, just 115 children are the victims of what most people think of as “stereotypical” kidnapping, which the center characterizes thusly: “These crimes involve someone the child does not know or someone of slight acquaintance, who holds the child overnight, transports the child 50 miles or more, kills the child, demands ransom, or intends to keep the child permanently.””

    Lastly:

    (No Links Allowed)

    P. 2. Between 1983 and 2007, in New York one infant was kidnapped from a location other than the hospital or home.

    Conclusion: Your kid is safer (from kidnappers) in your parked, locked car than in your home. It goes without saying that your kid has a greater statistical chance of being injured or killed in a motor vehicle accident than in your unattended parked, locked car.