The devastated community of Mexico City received counsel and comfort from the crisis and bereavement department of Chai Lifeline following the horrific death of its leader, businessman Moises Saba Masri, and three members of his family.

The accident shook the communal structure to its core and motivated Jose Cattan Raffaul, president of the Patronato of the Or Hajayim School, and other community leaders to contact the international organization. Chai Lifeline immediately dispatched Dr. Norman Blumenthal, a noted expert on helping children and teens cope with loss and the director of Chai Lifeline’s department of crisis intervention and bereavement services.

“Moises and Adela, his wife, were active in every part of the community,” noted Mr. Cattan. “So this terrible event has affected everyone, wealthy or poor, Orthodox or not Orthodox.”

In less than 72 hours on the ground in Mexico City (including sleep time), Dr. Blumenthal touched the lives of thousands of children and their parents, beginning with a meeting with several community chachamim. Chacham Abraham Shabot, Rosh Yeshiva of Keter Tora, Chacham Shlomo Tawil of Kehila Maguen David, Chacham Mordechai Toussie, and Rabbi Menachem June, Rosh Kollel of Yeshiva Keter Tora clearly welcomed the opportunity to help the community mourn and recover. Their comments enabled Dr. Blumenthal to focus his presentations and comments over the next days.

“We can help children back to normalcy.”

The guiding philosophy of Chai Lifeline’s Bellows National Crisis Intervention Program, which Dr. Blumenthal heads, has always been that understanding how children of different ages and developmental stages respond to tragedy and trauma can make it easier for the adults in their lives to help them mourn and heal. During Dr. Blumenthal’s visit, community educators and mental health professionals gained important insights in assisting students to comprehend tragedy, express their feelings, and plan for the future will help educators and mental health professionals.

Dr. Blumenthal met with more than 40 board members, principals, educational coordinators, administrators, school psychologists and teachers of Or Hajayim. The talk focused on the typical responses of children at different ages and developmental levels to tragedy, and this is a trauma of monumental proportions for the entire community.

He offered specific advice to the teachers whose classes were directly impacted by the accident. “It’s important to remember that even though children are grieving, they wanted to be treated normally. Try to keep their routines as normal as possible while understanding the emotions they are dealing with,” he said.

“We learned so much,” Mr. Cattan affirmed after the meetings. “Dr. Blumenthal’s words helped us see how we can handle this terrible situation. He gave us such good ideas for helping [the children].

“Thanks to Dr. Blumenthal and Chai Lifeline, we feel confident can help the children back to normalcy.”

Personal visits comforted mourners

Dr. Blumenthal was able to bring comfort to several families who had suffered losses during his two-days in Mexico City during separate visits to the Tuachi family, who is mourning the loss of Adela, and the Kattan family.

“This is a very close knit community where people have a genuine regard for one another. The impact of tragedies is magnified because people feel the suffering at a much deeper level,” said Dr. Blumenthal.

Mr. Cattan arranged for four other families to meet with Dr. Blumenthal. While their situations differed, the compassion and guidance they received during their conversations with the psychologist lifted heavy weights from their shoulders.

“Children do best when the adults who care about them are attuned and aware of what is happening in the child’s emotional and psychological life. These children are very fortunate, because the adults in their lives are committed to helping them grow and heal,” he said.

Dr. Cattan expressed his own admiration. “Dr. Blumenthal understood their pain, and more. He listened carefully as they expressed their grief, and he was able to tell them what they could expect in the coming weeks. The families felt so comforted.”

A new life begins even as others are mourned

A very special ceremony reminded everyone in the community that life goes on even during periods of turbulent grief. Dr. Blumenthal was privileged to attend the bris milah of Chacham Toussie’s newest grandson on the second day of his visit. It was a welcomed treat, and a break from the sorrow which has engulfed the community and which was the focal point of the visit. But too soon Dr. Blumenthal returned to the world of grief, meeting first with the principals and then 150 teachers of Yeshiva Keter Tora. His lecture, complete with slides, was simultaneously translated into Spanish for the group. He stayed for more than an hour after presentation, patiently answering the questions that arose.

By Wednesday morning when Dr. Blumenthal took his seat on the plane that would carry him back to New York, he had met with 485 people. They, in turn, would impact the lives of thousands of students and their families. Perhaps because of the language barrier (Dr. Blumenthal speaks no Spanish), Dr. Blumenthal was moved by his trip to Mexico.

“I learned that in tragedy, language is not a barrier,” he said. “Devorim hayotzim min halev nichnasim lalev. Words that come from the heart enter the heart. Sharing others’ anguish is a universal language.”

Rabbi Simcha Scholar, executive vice president of Chai Lifeline, agreed. “The dynamics of tragedy and loss are universal. Chai Lifeline’s mission is to enable children around the world to recover from the shock and grief of untimely death.  It is extremely important that we were able to help in this situation, and Chai Lifeline stands ready to assist whenever we are needed.”

Through the Bellows National Crisis Intervention Program, Chai Lifeline’s Project CHAI offers a network of professional services to help children, families, schools, camps, synagogues and community institutions cope with an untimely death or medical crisis. In the past year, Project CHAI professionals and trained paraprofessionals offered comfort and assistance to more than 5,400 children and adults in dozens of communities around the world.

(YWN Desk – NYC)