“Marrying off a child can be the most beautiful time and the most difficult time,” pens a parent. “The emotions. The fatigue. And the finances…Boruch Hashem, your Chasdei Chashie L’Kallah has been a bright light for us. Your great chesed of providing beds for young couples is amazing…”
“I am all alone,” writes a kallah. “My father was niftar when I was young. My mother is not frum. For me, being a kallah meant many nights of tears and days of struggle; struggle to marry myself off. Being practically penniless, my chosson and I figured we would end up sleeping on the floor until we could afford beds. Boruch Hashem, because of you, we didn’t have to…”
“Chasdei Chashie L’Kallah, how can I put into words the wonder that you have done?” depicts a close friend of a recipient. “After notifying you about the X family, you wasted no time responding and reacting, discreetly delivering beds and a beautiful dinette set to a new home that would have otherwise been empty. When the kallah set her eyes upon the furniture, her face literally shone with a refreshing new happiness. She and her chosson now share the exuberance that up until that moment had been sorely lacking. To you and those like you we exclaim: Mi K’amcha Yisroel…!”
“My name is Sara bas Sara Imeinu,” relates a giyores. “As a kallah, my joy in finally being given the opportunity to start my own Bayis Ne’eman B’Yisroel was so incomplete. With no family to turn to, my situation seemed hopelessly dismal. How, in the world, would I ever be able to finance the very basics of the home that I had dreamt about for so long?! Then, I was directed to Chasdei Chashie L’Kallah who provided me with the simple yet dignified furnishings that I would need to begin a new life together with my chosson. Chasdei Chashie L’Kallah has shown me that they and those who support their worthy activities are my genuine family…”
To many, Chasdei Chashie L’Kallah connotes images of a small-time Hachnosas Kallah organization. Indeed, with a low profile, far from loud fanfare and publicity, Chasdei Chashie L’Kallah might well appear as such. That surface notion, however, is far from the reality.
Initiated as a zechus for a refuah shelaima for the seriously ill Rabbi Zev Weiss and his devoted Rebbitzen, Chashie, by their children – six of whom were still unmarried – Chasdei Chashie L’Kallah has evolved into the everlasting legacy of the extraordinary couple long after their untimely petira.
Spanning the width and breadth of the United States, Chasdei Chashie L’Kallah epitomizes the noble character of its namesakes. With utmost sensitivity, high quality mattresses, box springs – and in some cases, dinette sets – are distributed to thousands of needy kallahs across the country. Working with little overhead and no paid employees, Chasdei Chashie L’Kallah’s dedicated volunteers work discreetly to do background checks and ensure that the organization’s recipients’ dignity is preserved. In many cases, the chassanim, kallahs, and even their parents have no idea where all the chessed is actually coming from!
Who benefits from Chasdei Chashie L’Kallah?
Chasdei Chashie L’Kallah’s recipients are your fellow yidden. They could be your friends, your neighbors. They could even be your own relatives…. The very people that show a smile on the outside and greet you amiably as if they had not a care in the world, may be crumbling under the financial pressures and worry of marrying off a child.
Show your ahavas Yisroel and truly be nosei b’ol chaveircha. Join Chasdei Chashie L’Kallah at its upcoming auction. Be part of the eternal loving legacy of Rabbi Zev and Chashie Weiss, z”l and help make your fellow Yid’s simcha complete by furnishing the basics of yet another Bayis Ne’eman B’Yisroel.
*To purchase tickets for our upcoming auction go to www.helpakallah.org – Drawing date January 23, 10.
(M. Wyzanski – YWN)
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6 Responses
TO our chashuva Rabbanim, Poskim, Gedolim:
–The expenses of what is nowadays considered a “modest” chasuna, are now astronomical! The pressure on parents, who may be having serious problems just paying their regular bills, is enough to cause dangerous overwhelming psychological AND physical stress and illness.
What should be a time of great joy, turns for many into a horror. A time of no sleep and of humiliating phone calls and visits to strangers for help. Due to incredible peer pressure (and not wanting to embarrass a son or daughter) it has become a time of going deeply into debt for YEARS for a 5 or 6 hour “simcha”.
Some Rabbanim tried a few years ago to institute guide-lines and “takanas” for chasunas, but they were largely ignored.
NOW, after last year’s financial crash, we need more than ever, for our Rabbanim to unite to institute takanas whose observance will be MANDATORY for them to attend or officiate at a chasuna. This has become mamash an issue of pikuach nefesh! What was ALWAYS the right thing to do, has now become a necessity to do.
#1 – I agree with you, but the answer isn’t with the Gedolim or Rabbanim. As you mentioned, that route was tried and fizzled out. This is not the place to explain why, but the reason should be evident to anyone who reads these pages. Unfortunately it will have to be a grassroots effort to stop this waste of money.
I once heard a vort that explains the meaning of the verse in the הושענה we say on the forth day (א-ל למושעות) that says – שלש שעות, הושע נא. Save us from the “three hours” refers to the costly weddings that take months and months to prepare, cost tens of thousands of dollars to pull off, and only lasts for 3 hours.
#2 – Although I basically agree with you as well, I feel it MUST come from the Gedolim.
Ideally it would be nice if it came from the g’virim of our communities. It certainly can not start with those with financial problems, as g’virim will not be inclined to follow them. If the g’virim would start making nice, but very modest simchas, it would be no boosha for those with less, to follow in their footsteops. SOME g’virim might be willing to do this, but as long as there are a good number who do NOT, (and there WILL be a good number who will NOT), the idea will fizzle, as you correctly stated, as it did in the past.
ONLY if ALL Rabbanim state that they will absolutely not participate in any way in a simcha that does not abide by the guidelines they establish, will everyone be FORCED to do the right thing.
From personal experience i can attest to the UNBELIEVABLE job done by Chasdei Chashie Lkallah. Everything is done with kovod and efficiency. tizku lmitzvos
There are many compelling stories of need these days and unfortunatly too little money available in the wonderful chesed organizations Chasdei Chashie L’kallah. While many people could benefit from their generosity, people must be honest with themselves about their needs. If getting “free furniture” will free up a persons money for non-essentials (like a more expensive makeup person, etc.) they are taking away essential furniture from someone who might really not be able to buy essential furniture like beds. If you put other things on a credit card like a trip or an extra something, put essential furniture on your credit card and leave our very stretched beautiful organizations for those who would truly have to do without.
I think a massive yasher koach is due to YWN for helping this great organization. I am very impressed, and hope to this type of thing more often!