[By Ariel Blacher] “There are Givers, and there are Takers in this world,” I always tell my children. “Be sure that you are a Giver, and that you stray from the Takers!” I tell them. For, it is my true belief that Hashem gave us a means to use ourselves as a conduit for giving, just as He gives to us. If we are in a “taking” position, we are not truly emulating Hashem, and we are not recognizing our own individual potential.

Recently, I have noticed phenomena in Jewish communities both in America, and abroad.  There is a sense of entitlement, of feeling as if “I deserve it.” For instance, a member of a community may repeatedly go to a synagogue, without paying dues, for he/she believes that he deserves the right to pray. True, but does this individual understand that the synagogue pays for the lighting, the air-conditioning/heating, the janitorial services, Kiddush provisions, etc? No, this individual believes his/her entitlement of being Jewish usurps all of these provisions.

I have been involved in many organizations, both professionally and as a volunteer and I see this time and again. I tell friends that if you want to get something done in Jewish communal services, typically there are five individuals in that particular organization to get the deed done. These five people are repeatedly asked to do a myriad of services for the particular needs of the organization, and they do a wonderful job. Meanwhile, hundreds of individuals(and sometimes thousands) benefit from the task, without lifting a finger, without getting involved, without even asking how they can help.

We are living in a generation of such amazing enlightenment…the age of online Torah, University shiurim online, Jewish blogs, Web Yeshivas, and more. Yet, the simple task of giving back to one’s community of, taking a couple of hours out of one’s busy schedule of work, carpools, or social engagements—is lost in the shuffle.

I recently heard a tale of a group of yeshiva boys who decided to hop a bus on Erev Shabbos to a major Israeli city without Shabbos plans. They decided to test if the community would “pull through” and show “Hakarat Hatov” to their plight. Of course, the community got wind of the stranded kids, and set them up. But, when the community heard the tale, they were outraged. How could boys take the simple act of “chesed” for granted? The boys’ grandiose delusion that they deserved to be found, taken care of, fed and helped for Shabbos was a long-shot. Some kind souls found them and helped. But, what would have happened if they were not housed for Shabbos? Would these boys then have spread “rechilut” that Town X is not nice to yeshiva boys? Hashem had His way of helping these boys, but I wonder if they really learned a lesson from the whole experience, or just returned to yeshiva with a tale to tell all before the Sunday limudim begin.

The answer to this is so much greater than we can imagine. Children at a very young age need to be taught how to give. Pushkas placed in classrooms are a start. Visiting Nursing Homes is another way. Assisting playgroups at shul so mothers and fathers can daven is another means. There are so many options for young people to pick themselves up and give towards the better good of their community, and their home.

These lessons must be reinforced at home, too. Children must be taught the power of giving through chores, helping siblings, and other means. If the children believe that home is a place of eating, sleeping, emailing, and watching screens, at 18 years old they will enter a world where they are awestruck that nothing is given to them on a silver platter. These children will be huge drains on their greater community. And, unfortunately, world Jewry will suffer terrible consequences.

One woman, Rebbitzen Tzipora Harris, viewed the devestation in Sderot, and decided to create a framework for chesed throughout the world, called the Ahavas Yisroel network.  Essentially, women throughout the world are gathering once a month to discuss ways in which they can contribute chesed time to their communities. Each group meets once a month to discuss personal and communal progress. Meanwhile, the world benefits from the small bits of chesed each woman commits to her local community. Today, there are hundreds of Ahavas Yisroel groups throughout the world, striving for a better world.

Perhaps we should all join Rebbitzen Harris’ challenge of picking ourselves up to do a simple act of chesed a day, and writing it down in a journal, or discussing it with friends.  Additionally, one can actually visit PartnersinKindness.com, where there are countless stories of acts of good will and kindness that inspire others to do the same.

I believe that Hashem is watching us…for good and for bad. If we do not pick ourselves up and try, then who will? We have such limited time on this Earth, it is our duty to give more than receive. As the Chofetz Chaim states in Ahavat Chesed “Chesed is like polishing the soul”(Helek Bet, Perek Bet). In this generation, we could all use a little polishing.

NOTE: The views expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of YWN.

(Ariel Blacher – YWN)

[Ariel Blacher, M.S.W., is a Social Worker, and a freelance writer living in Hashmonaim, Israel. She is currently publishing a children’s book. She is also on the Board of Directors of her local Glenwood Ramat Modiim synagogue.]