Think a little spanking won’t do much harm to kids? New research says the effects can be long-lasting.
Experts say “popping” kids can do more harm than good. A new study of more than 2,500 toddlers from low-income families found that spanking may have detrimental effects on behavior and mental development.
“We’re talking about infants and toddlers, and I think that just, cognitively, they just don’t understand enough about right or wrong or punishment to benefit from being spanked,” said Lisa Berlin, the study’s lead author and research scientist at the Center for Child and Family Policy at Duke University.
Berlin and colleagues found that children who were spanked as 1-year-olds tended to behave more aggressively at age 2, and did not perform as well as other children on a test measuring thinking skills at age 3. The study is published in the journal Child Development.
Although these effects were somewhat small, the study is just the latest of many supporting psychologists’ advice against spanking. Still, some experts say spanking has a time and place.
The new study focused on children from low-income families because prior research suggested that spanking is more common among them, Berlin said. This may be because of the added stresses of parenting in a low-income situation, or because of a “cultural contagion” of behaviors among people. For example, in some families this study examined, a grandmother would spank a child, or neighbors would encourage physical discipline, she said.
Her study found that about one-third of the 1-year-olds, and about half of the 2- and 3-year-olds, had been spanked in the previous week, according to mothers’ self-reporting to the researchers.
Previous research had also found that parents who spank are more likely to be younger, less educated, single, and/or depressed and stressed, Berlin’s study said. Spanking is most commonly used among parents who were spanked themselves, who live in the South, and/or who identify themselves as conservative Christians. These parents also tend to believe in the effectiveness of spanking or believe the child is at fault in a given situation, the study said.
The new research refutes the idea that more aggressive children are more likely to be spanked, Berlin said. On the other hand, the study did find that children who were fussier at age 1 were more likely to be spanked and verbally punished, she said.
Verbal punishment did not appear to have the same detrimental effects as spanking in this study, Berlin said.
Some remain unconvinced that parents should never spank their children. Robert Larzelere, associate professor of human development and family science at Oklahoma State University, conducted a meta-analysis of 26 studies on the subject, and found that, overall, spanking seemed more effective than 10 of 13 alternative disciplinary methods for getting a child to behave or do as asked.
Much of the research on the subject does not clearly demonstrate a causal link, Larzelere said. For example, in comparing studies, children who are spanked and children who are taken to psychologists both are more likely to have aggressive behavior later, he said.
The best use of spanking, Larzelere said, is in children between the ages of 2 and 6 when milder discipline tactics, such as time out, fail.
“That’s why psychologists trained parents to use spanking that way for 25 years [from the] late ’60s to mid-’90s,” he said. Now, the trend of advice is away from spanking, but there’s not much hard evidence to support it, he said.
Berlin’s study focused on particularly early ages, Larzelere noted; much of the spanking literature focuses on ages 2 and older. Twelve months is probably too early to spank children, but there’s no established point between ages 1 and 2 at which it is appropriate, he said.
Others say parents should not resort to spanking at any age. Susan Newman, social psychologist and author of “Little Things Long Remembered: Making Your Children Feel Special Every Day,” said parents should discourage bad behaviors by taking away privileges such as dessert, or setting an earlier bedtime. They should also reinforce good behaviors verbally, saying how nice it is when their children share, for example.
(Source: CNN)
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24 Responses
I find this hard to believe, numerous schools used to spank the students and they were better behaved than now. I think this study is specifically for this dor b/c we’re a chutzpahdikedeh dor, B’Chevlei moshiach chutzpah yisgah
To Poster #1:
Interesting hashkofo.
Please post your name and address so we can have Child Services pay you a visit.
Who in their right mind would spank a 1 year old?! I have a 16 month old son and he’s a baby! Spanking a child that young is OF COURSE detrimental since the child is a baby and is for sure traumatized by such behavior.
“Please post your name and address so we can have Child Services pay you a visit.”
That, in a nutshell, is the purpose of the CNN article: to demonize parents who try to teach their children to have self-control.
Rav Dessler, the MichTav MeElyoHU, writes that children who never experience spanking grow up to be “HItler Youth.”–Out of control.
He cites the Talmud.
NOTE: We are not talking about barbaric beatings here–only carefully-administered corporal punishment when appropriate to train the child, and done without anger.
I spanked my older children with love, and they turned out good. It is my younger children who are more spoiled because I didn’t spank them enough.
To #2, I never spanked a child of 1 not even 2 and I’m not even sure of 3 or 4. The key is doing it out of love and not because you are in a bad mood. If done properly the Chochom Mekol Odom Shloime Hamelech (King Solomon) has already said “Choisech Shivtoi Sonei Es Benoi” (he who spares the rod, HATES his son). We don’t hit with a rod, but ah petchele is in order.
And just to add – I highly doubt spanking a one year-old is going to get him to stop crying or whatever else the parent might want.
#1
Ever heard of the quickly growing phenomenon called ADULTS AT-RISK??
Check it out.
Just because the child behaves for the time being doesn’t mean you succeeded. As soon as the kid is free from the whip, they’ll do as they please. It is often 180* opposite of the behaviors they were beaten to have.
#7, Who is talking about “beating”? The discussion is about “spanking”. Do you know the difference?
The problem with studies like this is that they don’t take into account many crucial factors. For instance, other than Yidden, people of low income tend to be of low character as well; usually grossly lacking in middos. How many Black and/or Hispanic comedians from the hood joke about being beaten as a kid and get roaring laughs from their Black and Hispanic audiences?!
Also, who in the world hits a 1 year old?!!!! Loving parents don’t do that! Chinuch starts around 3 or 4 years old (as far as spanking). Perhaps as low as 2 years old at times, but 1 for sure not.
Chazal clearly state to spank. However, some of the Gedolim today (such as Rav Wolbe, z”l) stated not to bizmaneinu. Not because it is wrong, but rather either because 1) we don’t know how to spank correctly today or 2) because the kids will hit back and then the parent is going to be over Lefnei Eiver. These are not my opinions, so don’t attack me if you don’t agree with them.
The most important part of chinuch is to give over a lot of warmth to your kids. Then even if you do spank them they will not resent you for it.
Whether to spank are not I believe is individualized and each person needs to consult his/her Gedolim/Rav for guidance. Some should most definitely spank while others should stay very very far away from doing so. That is why everybody should “Asei l’cha Rav” and follow his advice.
someone just told me that according to halacha parents aren’t supposed to smack their teenagers. is this true?
So according to this article spanking a 2 year old or older is constructive to there behavior very good I like hearing things the way they used to be in the good old days when you didn’t miss behave bec u new you would get it from a parent that LOVED you (even though they would dear potch you )
Remember, when a child will grow up , will not remember what the parent was trying to train him, but he will remember to react aggressively when angered just the way he his parents reacted, when things were not the way, they thought was right .
The problem is where do you stop.I was never hit but I saw boys punched and kcked in yeshiva
I knew I would be attacked.
thank you number 4
#5 is exactly what i would like to do but i don’t think i would really do it (i’m not a hitter)
#7 exactly my point “the ever growing phenomenon” didn’t happen hundreds of years ago when it was normal to hit your kids, it’s only because it’s frowned upon that the Adults @ risk start thinking that it’s bad to hit kids and they were hit so they had bad parenting
there is a difference between an occasional potch and a spanking. the most effective way to teach a toddler who does not understand that something is dangerous is to give the child a potch while the child is in middle of a dangerous behavior. the child learns in a safe way that this behavior hurts without the possible terribe ramifications of the actual behavior, for example if a child runs into the street. people have to use seichel to know if a potch is a good eitzah but they shouldn’t say to never potch.
to #10 as far as i remember that is true.
I heard that Rabbi Matisyahu Solomon said that if one must give a child a potch, it must be with no anger, the child must clearly understand the reason (so a young child is out of the equation), and it must be in a respectful place – never on the face – either behind or on the wrist.
For example – when my 3 year old went thru a stage where she thought it was cool to run into the street, a firm potch on the wrist let her know that this was dangerous and unacceptable. I have not seen any traumatic repercussions, but she learn to stay on the sidewalk.
Hitting a child in any context is simply primitive. It teaches the child that violence is an appropriate reaction to adversity. That’s hardly the message parents should impart.
#18 so how come it didn’t teach that, to me or my children?
Do you have children? If yes, and without ever spanking them, how did they turn out?
We have the goods to prove it. I wouldn’t take any chances on a new “un-primitive” approach. What worked for thousands of years, still works.
Rav Dessler, the MichTav MeElyoHU, writes that children who never experience spanking grow up to be “HItler Youth.”–Out of control.
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That’s a very interesting observation. It’s also poppycock. I readily submit that most “Hitler Youth” were spanked as children. Moreover, the cornerstone of Hitlerist philosophy was extreme discipline. So I don’t understand the term “Out of control” in reference to anything Hilterist.
My many years as a parent have taught me that with regard to a potch, the following must be observed:
– First recognize if the child made an innocent mistake that can be explained clearly so the child understands. For instance, running across a street without looking first. There is no place for a potch here. The parent has to take the time to express the dangers and concern to the child and that’s all.
-If the child behaves improperly (lying to a parent) then the parent must first look the kid in the eyes and calmly explain in a very clear way that the parent is aware of the infraction and it was wrong and why it is wrong. Then the parent has to explain that in cases like these, the torah gives the parent the responsibility to hit the child because the parent loves him/her and it is the only way to really teach chinuch. Then the parent has to say I’m giving you a potch on the count of 3, 1-2-3- and then give a relativity gentle potch on the face. Make sure to not smile at that point. Look deadly serious. Don’t make light of it or look like you aren’t uncomfortable. The potch should be felt but not be too hard either. It won’t have to be hard. The kid will feel love and understanding and a whole slew of deep emotions all at the same time that will bring tears to his/her eyes. It’s incredibly powerful. The parent should then give the child a hug and a kiss and comfort saying it’s ok now, you won’t do it again and I love you. You did tshuva and it’s all over.
This works with children of all ages by the way and helps build a trusting, parent / child relationship.
Chinuch requires wisdom beyond that of ordinary mortal beings. As long as we follow torah guidelines without our own personal emotions getting involved (lack of patience, need for power, anger from embarrassment, or resentment that we are not given respect) we can do exceptionally as parents.
He probably meant out of control of their humanity, in other words achzorim.
#19, I have three. I have never hit them as a form of discipline. I intend to never hit them into the future. They are relatively young, 9, 6 and 2 years of age. So far they are wonderful beautiful children and I’m more than confident they will turn out just fine.
# 21 – Very nice! Kudos!
# 23 – that is nice, but your method does not work for all families. Chazal say, “Chanoch es hanaar lifi darko”. That means each child has to be dealt with differently. No one method works for everybody.
Just an added point – Rav Matisyahu Solomon, shlita once said that “if a parent doesn’t daven for his kids, it is k’ilu child abuse!”
This is a very important lesson! With Tefilla we will BE”H receive the siyata dishmiya to raise our kids right.
im married for 16 yrs my oldest is 16 and following her are 9 other children aged 15,14,13,11,10,9,6,2,and newborn and ive never ever ever had to hit my children. my wonderfll husband and i have a policy from since b4 we’ve married that no matter what,we will never hit any of our kids and baruch hashem we were never even in the position of even thinking of it. dont get me wrong my children arent angles(they are of course but not in the way that they never made trouble)every one of my children has gone through a stage where many parents would hit their children but my husband and i dont feel that hitting is the right chinch for our children.we have never threaten our children either where many parents would for example we wouldnt say if u dont keep quiet while we rest on shabbat then…when we where ever in a situation where our children could have been hit,they were spoken gently to and explained why it was wrong instead. we talk to our children instead of hitting and my children are great children and we love them dearly