This Motzei Shabbos, the first night of Selichos, Klal Yisrael will have the opportune moment for entering the Yomim Noraim on the best possible footing. On the Chofetz Chaim’s yahrtzeit, the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation’s nationwide teleconference with Rabbi Yitzchok Berkowitz, shlit’a, will provide clarity and guidance on the sensitive issues of seeking mechilah for transgressions against others – aveiros bein odom l’chaveiro.
These include the areas of loshon hora, ona’as devarim, rechilus, monetary damages and transgressions done so long ago that the victim may be difficult or impossible to find.
Gaining forgiveness in these areas is an essential preparation for entering into the Yomim Noraim and praying to Hashem for forgiveness and a good year. That is because, if a person wants Hashem’s forgiveness for a sin against another person, he must first seek forgiveness from the one he has wronged. It is a well-known principle in teshuva that without this forgiveness, not even Yom Kippur has the power to wipe the slate clean.
Despite the truly crucial importance of seeking mechila, however, most people have only the vaguest notion of what they are required to do. How far must they go? How hard must they try? What if they are not even wrong, but someone has been hurt by their words or actions anyway?
Rabbi Berkowitz will address these and many other questions that arise within the complicated web of human relations. He is uniquely qualified in this sensitive area of Jewish thought through his position as Rosh Kollel of Linas HaTzedek: The Center for Jewish Values, a network of evening kollelim in Israel and the United States dedicated to the study of mitzvot bein adam l’chaveiro. He is also a world-renowned posek on hilchos Shmiras Haloshon and co-author of The Chofetz Chaim: A Lesson a Day.
Rabbi Berkowitz’s teleconference will address three main issues in the concept of mechila:
Does one have to ask for mechila if he feels that he is right?
How far must one go to find someone from whom forgiveness should be sought?
What are the halachos of having an agent ask for mechila on someone else’s behalf?
Special Yiddish segment by HaRav Gamliel Rabinowitz from Yerushalayim: The guaranteed way to be zoche b’din.
This motzei shabbos erev selichos, 10:30PM EST call 646-519-5860 , 212-461-5860 pin number 1030#
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5 Responses
This may be simplistic but if we made a campaign and our paper’s headlines would scream that each person verbally (at least) be moichel all jews before Rosh hashanah for any wrong done to them we will be in better shape for that aewsome day.
Shivisi: What good is that? If a person caused you significant hardship, plans on repeating the behavior, and refuses to compensate for losses caused, what is a coerced mechilla campaign worth? Even in Tefillah Zakah there are exceptions to the rule of mechilla, so campaigns that reform halachah to fit agendas are pointless.
No one benefits by being coerced to be moichel someone, all it accomplishes is taking the hatred off the front burner and into your heart instead. Then you’ll be oiver on Lo Sisnah. Some situations are irreconcilable and both sides must make peace with it, and MOVE ON.
I am not expert, but while #2 makes a serious and true point, I think, nontheless, taking the step that #1 recommends is the ticket.
There is a reasonable compromise between #1 and #2: Everyone should be urged to recite, in a language that they understand, the Mechila declaration contained in Tefillah Zakah (and to really mean it). This would provide Mechila to all, except: 1.) Those who say “I’ll keep persecuting him and he’ll be Mochel me anyway and, 2.) Someone who owes me money that I can collect in Beis Din.
Reciting this declaration is so important, that the Chofetz Chaim moved it toward the beginning of Tefillah Zakah, so that most people would get to it.
Thjis was at 5:30 am Israel time – is there any way to get to hear the mp3 online, or dial in and hear the previously recorded shiur from the phone number listed?