In a move aimed at reducing financial pressure on parents, the Belz talmidei torah beginning next year will eliminate the bar mitzvah event for classmates of the choson bar mitzvah. The minhag to date is that a seuda is made on the day a bachur begins wearing tefillin and on the bar mitzvah itself, two seudas mitzvah are held, one for classmates and a second for family and friends.
A survey was taken among 100 families [in three classes] who sons will be bar mitzvah next year and the response was clear, they favor eliminating the seuda for the classmates. There were even calls to implement the takonah immediately, but it was decided that since the school year is nearing its end, and many have already had a seuda for classmates, it would be proper ending the year without changing the standing minhag.
(Yechiel Spira – YWN Israel)
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9 Responses
Kidush Hashem,
belz bar mitzvah buchrim also go with different hats.
The Bobover Kehilah has had this takonah for about 2 decades.
It was implemented by the two previous Bobover rebbes who allways worked together and tried to do everything posible to minimize the financial burden from upon the oilum (among the many good deeds that they did).
B”H today (many years later) many askonim and manhigim are following their foot steps.
May they have lots of hatzlocho
Why exclude a bar mitzvah bachur’s friends from the celebration? If there is only one seudah, why can’t it be the seudah for his friends. Where did the minhag of having a lavish seudah for family and friends come from? In so many cases many more people than necessary are invited and the seudah itself is far more lavish than necessary. I think it’s a sad commentary when takanos have to be made about celebrating a simcha, because people are losing sight of what they are celebrating.
The price of the Seuda for classmates is a fraction of the expencess involving the parents and the bar mitzveh boy traveling abroad to put on tefilin by their rebbeh!
Why can’t the classmates attend the main Seudah? We did that & it was much nicer for our boys to be with their friends than with a bunch of elderly relatives & family friends.
We served them on china & the exact same meal, but I have seen other hosts serve a lesser meal on plastic to keep down costs.
The current economic crisis might be a good time for us to discard some expensive “minhagim” we seem to have invented during the last 60 years, even without having a rebbe to order people to do so.
Kol Hakavod.
Anything that the rabbonim can do to encourage people to live within their means, harei ze meshubach!
Lipalip good point you can always make a party for chavairim with the left overs of the main seuda. that is just a bogus propeganda to catch some headlines, if belz wants to save money to its members they should make a takuna not to allow to spend for a flight to isreal every yom tuv.
in my humble opinion , if i had to choose from the 2
the boys should have the seuda, its cheaper, quicker, more enjoyable for the boy, & a geshmake zach for the boys to dance once a week. we have to implement simcha in our children. & this way parents will have less simchas to run to, & spend more time with their children… mazel tov!