There are bad ideas, and then there are utterly absurd, Torah-defying, and self-destructive ideas. The suggestion that a $100,000 “kehila tax” be imposed on any girl who gets married before some arbitrary age dictated by community leaders falls squarely into the latter category.

Let’s get one thing straight: Marriage is not a luxury. It is a mitzvah. It is not something to be delayed at the whims of bureaucratic kehillah enforcers wielding tax sheets like a shidduch resume. This proposal is not only foolish—it is a direct attack on the very foundation of Klal Yisroel.

A young couple chooses to follow halacha and build a Torah home—and you want to fine them for it?! You want to place a tax on a Torah-observant Jew for following the divinely-ordained structure of Klal Yisroel? When did we decide that a community should act as a financial oppressor rather than a source of support?

This isn’t just absurd—it’s dangerous. By creating financial penalties for young couples, you are actively discouraging kedusha and making Torah life even more inaccessible. You are forcing people to choose between what they know is right and what they can afford.

And let’s not even get started on the halachic and hashkafic disaster of delaying marriage for artificial reasons. Do we really want to push bachurim and girls into years of emotional and spiritual turmoil while waiting for some community-approved timeline to get married? What do you think the inevitable consequences of that are?

And then there’s the elephant in the room—the shidduch crisis. Everyone is asking, why are so many girls waiting for a shidduch? Why does the process feel more inhumane and grueling by the year? And now you want to add yet another barrier?!

You think this ridiculous wedding tax will fix the shidduch system? If anything, it encourages elopement—because what financially strained family wouldn’t want to bypass this kehila tax and go get married in secret? What are we trying to accomplish here?!

The real problem isn’t people getting married too young. It’s the artificial barriers put in place by an overcomplicated, suffocating system. The resumes, the photos, the impossible expectations, the obsession with money—THAT is what’s ruining shidduchim.

You want to “fix” the crisis? Get rid of the nonsense. No more exhaustive, unrealistic checklists that turn people into commodities. No more “age gaps” created by man-made restrictions. No more pretending that if someone doesn’t check every ridiculous box, they aren’t “good enough.” No more making gezeiros on Yidden that the Torah never asked for!

When the Aibeshter decreed “Bas Ploni L’Ploni”, He didn’t leave anyone out. He didn’t create an exclusive club for only those who fit the latest shidduch trend. He didn’t require anyone to be the perfect blend of “top girl” or “top boy.” He simply said every Yid has their zivug.

So what are we doing?! We are playing G-d, deciding who deserves to marry when and under what artificial, man-made conditions.

The chutzpah to suggest that we need to police and fine Torah marriages while ignoring the actual systemic issues destroying the shidduch process is beyond insane.

This entire proposal reeks of elitism, control, and an utter disconnect from Torah values. You want to fix the shidduch crisis? Fix the system—not the people.

This kehila tax is the worst kind of modern-day gezeirah, a financial and spiritual punishment on those who simply want to follow Torah. And if we don’t wake up, this kind of nonsense will keep creating more barriers, more crises, and more pain for our own people.

The system is broken, not the singles. And the ones breaking it are the very people pretending to fix it.

Signed,

Get a Grip

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