There was a community effort recently to count how many older single girls we have. I heard that it was approximately 3,000 over the age of 25, and the askanim stopped counting after they hit such a number. BMG accepts about 1,200 new bochurim a year. This means that if everyone coming to BMG married an older single it would take at least two years to solve the shidduch crisis. Anyone who believes cutting three months out the yeshiva system alone will solve these numbers is clearly not comprehending the scale of this issue.

As having the yeshiva system shortened drastically is unrealistic, clearly, we need a way to delay younger girls from entering into shidduchim.

There is an obvious issue in doing this. What family is there that would voluntarily choose to delay their daughters shiduchim by a year. In today’s reality of shiduchim, who could blame anyone who rushes to marry off their children? We clearly need a way to make age-gap chasunas into a social taboo, without harming anyone.

Here is a solution.

Any girl getting married under an age decided by the Tzibbur should pay an added 100k kehila fee. When the Families meet with the wedding hall people they will also meet with a member of the kehila who enforces this fee. This will be enforced the wedding halls as well as by the rabbonim in the family’s shul.

A small percentage of this will go towards the wedding halls (to guarantee enforcement) and the rest will go towards tzedakos which will pay the chasuna of a girl who waited to get married. As most people do not have an additional 100k lying around, and as chasunas are already prohibitively expensive, age gap chasunas will quickly become a thing of the past.

Additionally, no tzedaka should contribute towards chasuna of a girl below the age decided by the kehila. There is no reason the Tzibur should be footing the bill for chasunas which collectively harm us.

While this plan does unfairly benefit the wealthy, it is an unfortunate reality that money is the simplest way to motivate people. The only people needed to implement this are the fifteen or so people who own wedding halls around town and the general agreement of Lakewood Rabonim.

This plan is extreme but the currently over three thousand single girls is more extreme. We got together to ban Internet in schools. We got together to make sure every child gets into school. Let’s get together to make sure every bas yisroel can expect to find a zivug hagun.

I am aware enough of myself to realize that this letter seems to be another shrill rant about what could have should have and would have been done to help people. I also know that I have no influence. I just ask that if this issue affects you personally and you believe in this solution, please present this to your Rav and ask him what he thinks.

Name withheld upon the request

The views expressed in this letter are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of YWN. Have an opinion you would like to share? Send it to us for review.