20 Responses

1. Good evening,

   Why are the news stations suddenly sharing their opinions about everything? Let a Rav wrote a Dvar Torah, not some random person voicing their opinion– opinions should be about all the wonderful things that Klal Yisroel does and how we should be proud of ourselves- not the constant Loshon Hara that everyone can easily channel to their person of choosing.

   Yitzy

   Moderators Note: YWN has published thousands of “mailbags” over the past 21 years. Not to mention, every single news outlet on the plane has letters to the editors.

2. Couldn’t agree more. We spending ourselves to oblivion.

3. Agree 100%. The spending has got to stop.

4. Agree 100%. The spending has got to stop.

5. We all know it… it is out of control.
   Well said- time to reset.

   It’s become gluttonous and ridiculous at this point. Ask yourself, are you even interested anymore?

   Time to chart a new path forward.

   Does anyone have good ideas on a total rest back to a sane, balanced and healthy living ( try to imagine not being stressed out all of the time on the relentless bills)

6. How about focus on YOURSELF. Work on YOURSELF not to succumb to the pressure. Live within YOUR means. Teach YOUR children that these things that others are doing is not for us.
   Done. Problem solved. Stop trying to change other people to solve YOUR problems.

   Ps. Us non wealthy folks feel the need to assume that everyone spending more than them is living a fake life and living beyond their means. Psst, I have a little secret… some people have money, and these things don’t hurt them.

7. This is a very important article

8. It’s crazy how people are overspending in local expensive groceries instead of going to Costco or Trader Joe’s. I watch people swiping their credit cards without realizing their mounting bills. It’s downright scary. A family making 150 thousand a year cannot cover their budget between tuition,rent,food,medical bills,cloths etc.
   streimels that go for as much as 12 thousand dollars in insane. A real rebbe should institute people wearing ten dollar Purim streimels and save the community money. It’s out of control. Kids today are sitting on Amazon ordering everything on their parents expense. The young generation is spoiled. They want maids to make their beds and do all housework. Young couples spend two hundred dollars a week for a maid. Why can’t they just clean up their apartments themselves. They have no value of money. The youth getting married make their parents buy silver expensive menorahs as well as everything else. No wonder so many parents are dying of heart attacks when their kids get married. The bills are insane. I witnessed one lady order a truck full of furniture to a wedding hall at her daughter’s wedding. Meshugah. The furniture att the wedding hall wasn’t good enough. So much food is wasted at these simchas. What a crime. Wake up and smell the coffee.

9. I love it. I make a point to go to these fancy Kiddush. It saves me money 💰. I get to eat what I never would pay for. When I make a Kiddush I make sure to purchase ample marble cake and vodka from Cosco and I call it a day.

10. My humble request to leading Rabbanim to gather, discuss and advise on the following suggestions to somewhat rain-in our community’s ch”v current severe and dangerous financial crisis:
    1) A takanah closing down (disallowing) all American Seminaries in Israel, and instituting all USA Bais Yaakovs to add a Seminary class to follow 12th grade, at the same tuition rate as 12th grade. (Sorry to the handful of people making a living from seminaries in E”Y. However, the needs of the many…)
    2) Standardized Shul Kiddush takanos are the easiest to enforce, by each shul. The original united Bobov in Boro Park, (with many wealthy mispalelim, and so many more non-wealthy,) decades ago, instituted Shabbos simchos kiddushin to only be served to the baal simchah’a table alone. Harav Simchah Bunim Cohen shlit”a of Kahal Ateres Yeshaya in Lakewood, decades ago, instituted a limited simchah kiddush menu, with a choice of either serving chulent or kugel, not both. Every shul should have such a takanah.
    3) Every shul can institute limits on chasunah spending, including a $ limit on music/band/singer. (Would a one-man-band be too radical?) The shul’s rav would not attend any simchah in violation, and the shul members would be instructed by the rav likewise. (It does sound harsh, however, difficult times require difficult measures. We are talking about saving the rabim/majority from personal financial ruin r”n.) It would be a line added to wedding invitations: “This Chasunah will be in accordance with the 5785 chasunah accords, allowing all to attend.”
    4) All summer camps would only begin for children of age 13, not younger. Also an easy takanah to enforce, with Rabbanim disallowing any camps in violation thereof.
    – Y. M. S.

11. *Sleepaway camps

12. Maybe someone can explain to me why is it important to bring to a Simcha bottles and bottles and bottles of Schnapps, vodka, bourbon, whiskey, tequila and etc.. Some of the teenagers don’t know how to stop drinking. It is not healthy, plus the boys are not functioning after drinking, so why are we wasting money on something that is only hurting our friends. Honestly, if a guy is drunk, do you truly believe that he is able to be
    משמח חתן וכלה
    We are burning money.

13. Spend all you want, but save some money for a good bankruptcy lawyer. Park your bucks in an off-shore bank, placing it out of the reach of your creditors. Absolutely, max out all your credit lines and enjoy every conceivable thrill and luxury, even getting shuls and schools named for you, before filing Chapter 7. After all, this is the only life you’ve got. When you go down the financial tubes, go down big!

14. First people have to learn not to copy the “Cohen’s” down the road! Don’t just follow blindly what everyone else does. Break the vicious circle, do what’s right, necessary and YOU can afford, and you’ll see others will follow.

15. Organizations shuls mosdos any form of tzedaka should not be allowed do e done with a credit card

16. Every few weeks another letter to the editor comes out about this very topic (and I feel the same way). However, it’s just that. Letters to the editor. Nothing is ever done about it. And I don’t foresee any changes in the future, primarily because there is no respect given to the Rabbonim. I envy the Chasidic communities in that there is a central figure who can set guidelines that the entire community will follow. The recent changes to the cost of new housing in KJ and previous changes to Chasunah costs are two such examples. With some small exceptions, we don’t see this in our community. The Rav says the Kiddush should be smaller? I’ll just daven down the block where that Rav hasn’t made such a statement.
    I don’t have a solution, because I can’t imagine every neighborhood Rav and shul being on the same page, but I daven that someone with more insight (and pull) might be able to make some inroads.

17. To Someday:
    I am not sure what community you are associated with.
    In the chasidishe circles seminary is not a must! It is not recommended & is not needed. Didn’t the girls just graduate 12 years of school? Why is it necessary to do another expensive year ????
    Many communities create their own problems.
    In the shul we daven in (chasidish in BP) there is takonos for shabbos morning kiddishim. You pay a fee and the shul takes care of the cake, drinks and paper goods for women/men. It is the same for each kiddish no matter the families financial capabilities.

18. I think making financial education in schools would help a little. How do we expect kids to learn smart spending habits when their parents don’t have good spending habits either? When their parents don’t share details about bills or not complain about stuff they can’t afford? My son in school had to do a project about budgeting and it was very illuminating for him. I have actually read Dave Ramsay financial advice and I think us Jewish folks can use some of his strategies.

19. I’ll respond the same way I responded to the ridicules article on “luxury camps” STOP HAVING SOCIETY DICTATE HOW YOU FEEL! Learn how to deal with jealousy and inadequacy and work on being a better person!

    This op-ed about luxury camps really got under my skin. I get it—these camps can feel over the top, and yes, there’s pressure on parents to keep up. But the idea that rabbis or anyone else should ban them? That’s just ridiculous. Let’s face it, even if the biggest rabbis of our generation came out and said, “No more luxury camps,” people would still ignore them. They’d just say, “He’s not my rabbi,” or “Who is he to tell me what to do?” That’s the world we live in today.

    The bigger issue isn’t about camps or bans—it’s about parenting. It’s about taking responsibility instead of hoping someone else will step in and do it for you. Just this past winter break, I took my family on a simple trip to Pennsylvania, two hours from home. I had hotel points, so it didn’t cost much. Could I have taken them to Florida like everyone else? Sure, but I didn’t need to. It wasn’t necessary. And guess what? My kids still had a great time.

    The problem is, we want to point fingers at the world around us instead of looking in the mirror. We say we don’t want our kids going to luxury camps, but meanwhile, we’re driving brand-new cars and living in massive houses. You don’t think kids pick up on that? If we want our kids to understand what’s important, we have to live it ourselves. I drive a 2014 Toyota RAV4. Sure, I get jealous when I see someone with a shiny new car—it’s human nature. But those moments force me to pause and reflect. I recognize that jealousy and that desire to keep up, and instead of letting it control me, I use it as a chance to improve. I ask myself, “Do I really need it? What lesson would I be teaching if I gave in?” And more often than not, the answer is no. That self-awareness is what helps me stay grounded and pushes me to be better—not just for myself, but for my kids, who are always watching.

    This isn’t about what you can afford. It’s about teaching your kids—and yourself—that you don’t need every luxury just because it’s there. You don’t need to go to a luxury hotel for Pesach. You don’t need to send your kids to a luxury camp. You don’t need to chase what everyone else is doing. And honestly, when you tell your kids “no,” they see it. They get it. They’ll learn to say “no” too.

    So, enough with asking rabbis or anyone else to fix this. The solution isn’t in banning things—it’s in raising our kids to understand limits and values. It starts at home. Let’s focus on that instead of trying to make the world do the parenting for us.

20. The issue raised here is all true. However, we have a much more serious problem, that affects even the sane folks who are not trying to keep up with the Rosenberg’s.

    So many of us are blessed with large families. When we get down to marrying off the second half of of our families we BH have dozens of grandchildren, making it nearly impossible to fit into a modest dining room nor be able to cook for a simcha on our own as we may have with previous simchos. Usually the only viable options are a catered affair in a hotel or camp. This is even when not inviting extended family or friends. Such an affair (Bar Mitzvah, Aufruf, Shabbos Sheva Brachos), can easily cost more than $25k for the simplest available menu. We need some philanthropists to create venues that will host such simchos, so that these families can at the very least host their own children and grandchildren. There are ba”h thousands of families dealing with this dilemma.