65 Responses

1. Look in the mirror, YWN. We don’t get our news from socials so only see what you post. Zero about suicides and articles about this incident…

2. We are oveir on Chazal everyday. I had cancer R”l and now suffer from forms of depression and anxiety. The lack of care and understanding to my emotional health is beyond retzicha. When I had the cancer, people came to sing and made me feel special and showed care.

   With my mental health – still till today, people just say insensitive things and show no compassion – and this is only those that know – a small circle of people as it’s so stigmatized.

   Many of these people “might” have some compassion but put blame on those suffereing. As many, including myself, have said: We would rather have a physical illness (h”y of course) than suffering mentally. How many issurim people are oiver and don’t know or care.. How much sechar will these people have when they’ll give a good word or support a mental health sufferer?

   Yidden, wake up. Let’s not allow another such tragedies (r”l) to happen.

3. Wow well said and quite true I believe. The only thing I can dan lkaf zchus is that people who haven’t been affected may just not get it or understand it enough to truly care.

4. My first reaction is “the pot calling the kettle black”.
   “Our community has become one that thrives on gossip and the miseries of others. We enable each other in this destructive behavior, perpetuating a cycle of heartlessness and indifference.”
   -I have always felt that YWN in particular “thrives on gossip and the miseries of others”. They also for some reason I can’t understand, allow people to comment on news and in “coffee rooms” and many of these comments are treif, hurtful, lashon hora, etc. YWN reports on so many tragedies, murders, killings, etc etc, then bombards us with “communicated content” that many times is just more content of tragedies and misery.
   There is no doubt in my mind that the frum world would be better without reading so much “news”.

5. Who is supposed to give chizuk if every third person is diagnosed with “mental illness ” and every fifth person is on psychotic meds?

6. Maybe some of these organizations should try to figure out why every third person is suddenly diagnosed with mental illness. Something is really wrong.

7. Lol. this coming from ywn

8. Well said.

   I want to add another thing- ywn editors modify if you want to- it’s not considered cute for therapists to deal with the real hard hitting mental illnesses.

   So noone, absolutely no-one, really cares.

9. “The reality is that neither they, nor our community as a whole, care about mental health awareness, and this can be proven. In the past few months alone, six children under the age of 15 from our community have committed suicide. These tragic deaths did not garner widespread attention or outrage. Why? Because there was no drama or sensationalism involved…”

   I really don’t get it. This is the very first time I’m hearing about those six children! If you want people to care you have to let them know about the problem! Even this tragedy today was not posted on YWN, so how in the world are we to care about a problem that isn’t known, or that there are people involved that obviously don’t want it known and discussed????

10. I am horrified by this editorial. As someone who has dealt with his share of mental illness, this response, criticizing the community for daring to talk about mental illness, would have read differently.

    Instead, you should have reported on the story the moment it happened and came out with an editorial stating that people need to talk about it MORE, not less.

    This is truly disgusting, and to the extent that it works to shut people up, the next suicides will rest squarely on your shoulders.

    Furthermore, I usually defend your articles against people who are quick to criticize. But this article is one of the main reasons why we have a mental health crisis in the first place. You’re trying to shut people up for dating to speak out about it.

    I am horrified, literally. You need to retract this immediately and issue a public apology, encouraging people to bring mental health awareness into the open, not shut up about it.

11. YWN only has a problem because this happened in Lakewood or Flatbush.

    Imagine this would happen in Williamsburg or KJ

    והמבין יבין

12. You guys make a living out of gossip and slander. People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones

13. I’m not sure what it will take for our community to wake up and deal with the real issues facing us. We need out of the box leadership.

14. Unfortunately, people did sensationalize those suicides, which was terrible. But people should talk about these things. How people talk about it matters just as much as whether people talk about it.

    For lack of a better term, this tragedy is a “man bites dog” story. People don’t talk about it because it’s representative of the larger societal issue, they talk about it because it’s a shocking and unusual kind of tragedy.

    Mental illness causing people to harm themselves, on the other hand, is much more common. It’s what severe untreated or treatment-resistant mental illness typically does.

    But instead of talking about worst case scenarios, if we’re looking to talk productively, we need to talk about what doesn’t make the news. Talking about suicides is usually counterproductive. Talking about suicidality can save lives.

15. Welcome to the 21st century. Everyone is blaming someone else for suicide rates going up. Suicide is sin for a reason. It is within each indivuals power to see the good Hashem gave us and to appreciate the preciousness of life. It is the obligation of Rabbis and educators to instill emunah and to give chizuk. Constantly harping on one’s past and current “traumas” and taking psychotic pills will NOT PREVENT A SINGLE SUICIDE.

    Frume Yidden are following the secular world and falling over the cliff of destruction. But the senseless march is continuing…straight in shaul tachtis.

16. YWN your outta your mind here.
    Yes, people really care.
    Just because people dont respond well to strong emotions doesnt mean they dont care.
    I havent met anyone who isnt horrified, though I’m sure some of them are the type to spread this info too easily.

    This in no way excuses people who post this irresponsibly, but neither does it excuse YOUR irresponsibility in labeling an entire community as Gossipers and whatnot.

17. This is my own experience.

    I have learned that many people like to give to what they can personally see a ROI “return on their investment”. With many of our other causes, there’s something tangible they can witness.
    Sadly, with mental health, if they or a family member haven’t struggled with “it” they lack the ability to find compassion to understand. What they see is someone unable to succeed.

    I didn’t want to turn this tragedy into something about myself or the many others that struggle with depression and anxiety. If I omitted your struggle, I am sorry.

    However, once I saw the letter here, I felt compelled to comment in my own way.

    The following words are what I was told by a wealthy communal Askan – “People get burned out very quickly when they help others financially for mental health and other basic living expenses. They feel it is a never-ending saga.” I have heard the same people say that the money they have comes from hashem and is meant to be given out to others. I haven’t questioned them about when hashem told them this changes. They justify it to themselves by feeling they are enabling others. I bite my tongue and refrain from asking how they arrived to that conclusion. Do they know enough about a person’s personal struggle or a family’s situation. We are Am Yisroel, we are nation that is full of chessed and I am trying very hard not to be judging of anyone or institution.

    I have been hurt many times, by many people who I have considered good friends slowly slipping away because I am not around. People with certain struggles find it difficult to attend many regular functions that aren’t a struggle for “regular” people.

    I haven’t even gone into the regular pain people feel daily. The struggle to get out of bed. People preach the spiritual connection that is missing with “minor disorders” such as ones I mentioned above. At what point do these people feel they “know” depression needs to be severe enough to qualify as a serious mental disorder. The same goes for Anxiety, bipolar etc. Who are you to decide that and mention that? Have you walked in the shoes many others are?

    Some might respond of having had depression once lasting a day or week and snapped out of it. Lucky for you – that’s not depression. That’s called having a lousy day. Feeling nervous about something and got over it quickly, not either anxiety. Anxiety lasts longer than that. I don’t even want to get started with the whole trauma response many have either considering the same people won’t care to understand it either.

    I am originally from out of town and the city I am from has funds set up for people to pay for therapy at the therapist they choose. The ones that are a match for them. Additionally, many other financial help is offered for families when the primary breadwinner isn’t able to provide in the “ideal” situation. I will note this is not common elsewhere.

    So wake up people and I daven your family is never forced to understand these situations. I have enough people who have hurt me that I daven for, so that they aren’t put in the same place. My story isn’t unique.

18. The audacity of this website to condemn the frum community for gossip while perpetuating the very same behavior is astounding. By opening a platform for commentators to spread malicious gossip and by writing countless pieces of true lashon hara, you have been the primary catalyst of this destructive trend. It is hypocritical to criticize the community you claim to serve when you are resha’im who consistently been the biggest offender. Such actions are disgraceful, and those who are responsible will be judged by Hashem and will face the consequences of their actions.

19. I tend to agree with Emunas1. However I always ask myself what would the Berditchever say? We really mean to avoid scathing statements about Klal Yisroel especially Parshas Shlach!! Like a bunch of idiots with our tongues hanging out of our mouths??? That’s not something you should say about the Am Hanivchar!!
    I once heard that the Aibishter follows the Torah laws and therefore only listens to 2 witnessed not 1. The Satan is always being mekatreig so Chas v’shalom any Yid shouldn’t say anything negative because then they are mitztareif with the Soton as 2 eidim!!

20. Excellent article. Thank you and may hashem protect us.

21. i actually read this article. every word of it. unlike many of you who didn’t – which is obvious by your comments. you ignored major parts. but anyways, i spoke to quite a few major mental health professionals tonight about this editorial, and they all said it was spot on.

22. Emunas1 – You didn’t read one word written in this editorial.

    “I am horrified by this editorial. As someone who has dealt with his share of mental illness, this response, criticizing the community for daring to talk about mental illness, would have read differently.”

    Those were your words.

    YWN wrote: “Does anyone bother to step in and offer to help? Does anyone provide a kind word? Is there anyone fighting to help their children get into schools and become productive members of society? To all these questions, the answer is a resounding and shameful ‘NO!’

    If we cared about mental illness, we would rise up and ensure that there are well-funded organizations to assist the myriad types of mental health struggles that people suffer from. ”

    Get a life and stop the hate.

23. Thank you YWN for saying the painful truth.

24. I believe this is probably the dumbest article I’ve ever read. If no one cares it’s because no one knows about the stories. And the main reason no one knows about them is because YWN and the like “upon advice of rabbonim” (that probably don’t exist despite all the insistence since we were never given a single name) don’t report them and suppress them. I guess because the families don’t want it publicized. And that’s because of the stigma. So actually YWN and other Jewish media are contributing to the stigma. So to blame everyone else is crazy. And btw if you really had rabbonim that guide you you would have the guts to publish the names so they can stand up and take responsibility for their guidance. If you can’t publish a name you’re full of it. It’s that simple

25. ANON21

    thank god ywn doesn’t publish the name of a gadol they consult with. they would be getting death threats from angry, self-hating narcissists like yourself all day. last thing they need are harassments from hundreds of thousands of ywn readers that dont agree with what was written

    its you who is “full of it” mr anonymous.,

    keep it up ywn. great article shetelling the tragic facts.

26. Why is it that YWN publishes their own opinion column (which happens to be spot on) and some people just can’t deal with another persons opinion? Man alive do we have a mental health crisis. It’s write here in this comment section. What a bunch of retards.

27. I think people who don’t agree with this article are one of three things.

    1- Illiterate to a major degree.
    2- Read every other paragraph.
    3- Deeply offended that someone actually exposed them and their behavior.

28. Very well written. Kudos to the editors.

29. Can’t wait for the day that the headline will be, HOW MANY MORE KARBUNES BEFORE FRUM JEWS WILL LET THEIR KIDS DECIDE THEIR GENDER
    As the left is pumping millions in aid for this cause claiming that gender identity causes suicide (and were proven to be wrong and that the suicide rate climbs once you look at the community of reassigned gender…).

30. Hello, thank you for you article about the need to raise awareness about mental health and fund its organizations. I have been struggling with mental health issues for nearly five years. I come from a fairly sheltered home/small community and don’t really know about any other organizations besides Keren and Relief. I am also in the middle of pursuing a parnassah and these organizations will be one of my top priorities for giving tzedakah to. If you could email me a full list of the organizations out there and how to reach them, that would be a big help to me. I can also bli neder send out info about these organizations so people can know about them and help support them. Even Keren, isn’t so well know, and I don’t really see any info about mental health organizations in need in mainstream Jewish media. thank you for your help!

31. Anyone within the know knows this article is spot-on.

    It’s an issue from the klal perspective to the focus of mental health industry itself.

    If you know you know.

32. @anonymous, please reach out to Chazkeinu. They’re an international peer support group for Jewish women who are struggling with their mental health.
    Their website is http://Www.chazkeinu.org.
    No one should go through this alone!

33. When I read the title of this article, I thought for sure the hypocrisy that you are talking about is the fact that we want people with mental and emotional illness to go for help but when they do and subsequentially when their illness becomes known, they get put down and shamed instead of being viewed as heroes for accepting the nisayon Hashem gave them and taking responsibility. I know that in my own case I was told that I am crazy and dealt with in the most insensitive manner by those close to me, so that when I moved I did my utmost to hide what I am going through, which has terrible consequences because it makes getting help harder. When working through past trauma, sometimes I couldn’t move after a heavy session. But I couldn’t enlist the help of my friends and neighbors, and my husband couldn’t carry the burden alone so my home wasn’t functional, which was distressing for me and hindered my recovery. Even the family that lived close by didn’t know because they were the type to look down and call me names, so I didn’t want to tell them (besides which, I knew that they wouldn’t really be a help–they would say ‘just snap out of it’.) So, there is the real hypocrisy. If we want people to go for help, we cannot look down on them when they do and if we want to help others, we need to make our communities a safe place to share these struggles and start viewing those with mental health issues as heroes going through something difficult.

34. “People stopped talking about the seminary girl within hours”?

    People talked about it for weeks. People stopped talking about it when they realized that this was a girl with a prior history of suicide attempts.

    This is the same reason why this story is being obsessively discussed. People hear a story like this and they are afraid that it can happen to them or someone they know.

    These stories are terrifying. There is no worse yissurim than murdering ones own kids. People go through all kinds of emotional struggles and when the details are made murky then they wonder, “are these the warning signs that they ignored? Am I, too, at risk? Is my relative, maybe my spouse, a danger to my family members?”

    This story needs to change the way our community leaders discuss mental health. The story with Leiby Kletsky was a defining moment in that it permanently shattered the image that anyone with undzerer look is kosher. It was his freaky murder that opened the way for books like “private places” and made the community and schools more open to an awareness about molestation. The community needed to see the gory details in order to recognize that hiding problems doesn’t make them go away.

    About the kids committing suicide, many parents are very afraid that this can happen to their children which is why there are hundreds of parenting classes available at any given time in every frum community. Parents also try to hide the details when it happens. It is usually blamed on an aneurysm or some other freak accident. There is no way to hide a story about 2 young toddlers in the same family dying, especially when the parent was arrested.

    Bottom line is that there needs to be more exposure of this story, not less. While trying to protect us from the details, it leaves us all feeling very vulnerable, unless we are reassured that her medical history is no relation to ours.

    One more thing, after seeing other frum bloggers posting about this article that they “agree with every word”, I realized that there are many who are fascinated about this story because of the “juicy” details. This is not the majority. The majority is panicking and needs reassurance.

35. What a tragedy to hit klal yisroel together with many other tragedies rachmana litzlan just in the last week alone including many gedolei hador rachmana litzlan among them harav Moshe Wolfson ZTL and many other together with our loving brethren Torah in Israel at stake to being taken into the IDF army.

    When will we stop living in denial and FACE REALITY for serious teshuva and Achdus together as one loving nation worldwide? Do YOU think all these horrific tragedies rachmana litzlan are just coincidence? Don’t you know the famous line “ain poranius baolam ela bishvil yisroel” which translates into everything going on in the world is a direct message from Hashem directly to klal yisroel.

    Are we ready to accept Hashems wake up call for serious teshuva and Achdus together so the tzaros in klal yisroel can come to a stop and Hashem can send
    mashiach already bkarov?

    May we all accept Hashems wake up call for serious teshuva and Achdus together as one loving nation immediately so all tzaros can end and Hashem can send mashiach already bkarov.

    May the neshamos have an aliya and may the entire family have a nechama.

36. We should all do our part to volunteer somewhat to help mentally ill, addicted and / or depressed people. even if its just calling to say you care. dropping off a challah etc. give people resources. tell them about Relief. donate to non profit rehab centers (like chabad).
    eating disorders, internet addictions, substance abuse, there is so much (I am not referring to the tragedy in Lakewood and will leave that to rabbonim to address).
    and please please please encourage seeign a psychiatrist, meds can really take off the edge, like advil take the edge off the headache. it often (not always, but often) works.
    lets all have a wake up call. instead of judging anyone. so close to meshiach and so much confusion in the world. we arent immune

37. YWN, I know you meant well but your accusatory words will not be accepted by a significant segment of the frum population.

    You claim that everyone is aware of the extent and the depth of the mental illness dilemma and because you see no collective communal positive response you assume people simply don’t care about the problem.

    I’m sure there are many, as witnessed by the above responses, who are aware of the problem either through personal mental illness struggles themselves or of struggles of family members and friends. However, to speak for myself and for many others, we were not aware of the incidents you cited in your editorial nor have we been schooled in how to encourage, help, or benefit mentally ill patients.

    Perhaps a more conciliatory tone that conveys the idea that people need to become aware of how widespread this issue is would be more galvanizing to the frum public in general.

    Let Rabbonim and our frum news media such as YWN speak about the issue more publicly and I can guarantee that you will see a greater response from the public once they found out about the issue.

    Assuming that nobody cares is only true if everyone is aware of the problem and does nothing about it. But if they don’t know because they haven’t been informed, do they deserve to be accused of not caring?

38. “We should all do our part to volunteer somewhat to help mentally ill, addicted and / or depressed people. even if it’s just calling to say you care.”

    LAmother,

    Do you know people like that? A lot of people aren’t that nosy into other peoples lives to know if he has any of those

39. The simple reason why no one speaks about the recent suicide is because the community and the families hide it.

    Maybe if the community doesn’t try to hide everything and brush everything under a rug more things can be done about mental illness and other issues

40. The first thing to consider is why there had been no intervention before the incident by social services/child services etc?
    – Was the mother or family unknown to the authorities, that there might have been a risk to life with regards to harm to the children?
    – Those who knew the family, did’nt know or think that there could have been a risk and reported the family to the Authorities?
    – Is there a problem with reporting to the authorites in frum communities, is it looked on as maserring? Is there a problem of stigmatising the family and then the family have a problem in the future with the schools, shidduchim etc.
    – Is there a problem of social workers interventions leading to weakening of yiddishkeit in those families?
    – We should be asking these questions before everyone starts pointing the finger at each other.

41. אין לנו להשען אלא על אבינו שבשמים

42. To shoita who went after me personally.

    You don’t know me and have no right to say that I will send death threats to a rov. I give you a chance right here to retract your baseless accusation. My point here is a very simple one. A nameless rov is not much of a rov. How are we to trust YWN that they consult a real rov or gadol (your words) if we have no idea who he is and thereby maybe even doesn’t exist? Moreover part of issuing guidance and psak and direction to Klal Yisroel based on your Torah is to open yourself up to challenge and then the ability to defend your position against said challenge. It’s just too easy to issue guidance and rules and psak with no strings attached while your safely cacooned in anonymity. I however am a commenter. I’m Not certifying anything. Hence I can be anonymous. If you don’t understand this simple distinction then its obvious that you’re just not listening.

43. As someone studying to become a Social Worker, being a Certified Peer Recovery Specialist, and a fellow Jew (!), I personally think everyone should take a moment, get off their soapbox
    (yes, I know, so am I, and I’ll stop)
    take ten deep breaths, and really think about what you all just said to each other.

    I don’t care who you are, as well as you don’t care who I am. While YWN prefers not to disclose who the Rabbanim are, doesn’t make a difference. We are all responsible for our own actions.
    While I disagree wholeheartedly with many of you, the comment that really stuck out is what was said by “@philosopher”.
    I’m not usually one to give mussar, however, it is very much needed here.
    As someone with the official diagnoses of ADHD, GAD (anxiety) MDD (depression), PTSD, and OSFED (other specified food eating disorder), and have experienced OCD as a kid, let me tell you.
    MENTAL ILLNESS IS NO JOKE.
    While @philospher says suicide is a choice, know this,
    “Suicide is not a choice. It’s what happens when people like you leave them (those suffering) no other choice”
    While a decision has to be made about if an individual will actually commit or not, a person like you has no right or knowledge of each person’s situation to tell them what they are doing is wrong.
    As I mentioned before, I have dealt with a large amount of mental illness myself, and even I feel it isn’t right to judge those who have taken their own lives. Yes, I have tried to hurt myself before, I have even attempted numerous times in the past.

    I’m not here to justify what is happening on this platform. I am here to justify those suffering in silence. Those with mental illness. While many do not feel comfortable standing up for themselves, they (we) need more people to help us stand with and/or for us. Take Amudim for example, they, along with many other organizations (so don’t say the Jewish people don’t care), help us stand when everyone else is kicking at our knees.

    All of you criticizing each other, I get it, I really do. Each of you have an opinion that you feel needs to be known. However take a moment and think about how your opinion affects the people you are criticizing.
    Is this really what Hashem wants?

    If you have a problem with what I said, email me. I have my email as my username, and I have no problem debating with you there. However this is really not the right platform for debates such as this.

44. Use_your_brain, thank you for your realistic comment here. The frum community is so brainwashed by the billion dollar “mental health industry ” they will eventually start talking about “not hiding the fact that so many children in our community want to change genders”…The state frum Jews are in is horrifying. No emunah, no betuchen, no Yiddishkeit, only mental illness, mental illness and mental illness. The billion dollar “mental health industry” has effectively brainwashed our communities as well as it did the secular world. As more and more frum parents and children will get “help” from “mental health professionals ” suicide numbers will rise as the core drive why this happens is ignored. Moshiach needs to come immediately to save klal Yisroel. The leaders and the parents are totally insane and their destroying their children. So many Jews have turned away from God, their religion is their belief in the gods of “mental health professionals “.

45. I actually found this article very harsh. And guess what? it resonates. Sometimes we need somethin harsh. To the point. Thank you for being harsh.

46. “The simple reason why no one speaks about the recent suicide is because the community and the families hide it.

    Maybe if the community doesn’t try to hide everything and brush everything under a rug more things can be done about mental illness and other issues.”

    While the community does have a problem, let’s not blame the families who have been through a tragedy and want space to mourn without becoming everyone’s example. They are suffering enough.

47. This is beyond stupid. Did you know people die every day? Of old age. Of car crashes. Of illnesses. Of terrorist attacks. Of ….

    And of course most if gets no widespread attention. Unless it’s a gadol. Or g’vir. Or misa m’shune.

    Getting distressed about one to a larger degree does not mean you don’t care about the others who died from different backgrounds and by different methods. It is just sometimes much more impactful, for a wide variety of reasons. So bh more people are taking notice, and unfortunately this is what it took.

48. PLEASE, PLEASE read the book, “Bad Therapy: Why the Kids aren’t Growing Up” By Abigail Shrier. Here is a quote:
    “In virtually every way that can be measured, Gen Z’s mental health is worse than that of previous generations. Youth suicide rates are climbing, antidepressant prescriptions for children are common, and the proliferation of mental health diagnoses has not helped the staggering number of kids who are lonely, lost, sad and fearful of growing up. What’s gone wrong? “

49. Regarding mental healthcare, you don’t have to believe in the system to take mental illness seriously. Doctors used to practice bloodletting and prescribe mercury pills. That meant the field of medicine was generally not trustworthy and not okay. Unfortunately, diseases still did their jobs pretty well!

50. As someone who has been through ‘bad therapy’ the most annoying part of therapy is that they don’t believe in the person at all and want to keep them infantile and convince them that they can’t contribute to the world to keep them in their office. Dr. Demartini’s work is what inspired me towards health. Balance means acknowledging that you have weaknesses and strengths and equal attention should be given to both in therapy. Emphasize self care, but also as a means to an end, not as an end in and of itself. Help the person determine their values and what inspires them and infuses them with purpose. This is true healing.

51. I’m liking philosepher comments more and more.

52. :These children were mentally ill and ended their lives—an end that was quietly acknowledged and quickly forgotten”

    Says who?

    Don’t assume something of which you do not know and have absolutely no clue about. Maybe these poor kids were victims to abusers or bullying or blackmail Or psychological abuse. These children were not all suffering from suicidal mental illness. Continue to support the “rug” In our community that is covering up the real reasons for a lot of things

53. Ellie7,

    May I ask you which Dr. Demartini you refer to here? I had a therapist by that last name some 10+ years ago. Great therapist, possibly the only one that helped me.

54. I think YWN is somewhat off track by saying so strongly that people just don’t care. I think we are an extremely caring nation and community. I think people like to hide from the issue, they don’t want to acknowledge that it exists. It’s a subject that’s been taboo for so long. So many are in denial about mental health. I think that is the reason people don’t want to associate themselves with the subject, whether by attending conferences or even by donating to organizations working with these issues.

    “Philosopher” and people like them yell that mental illness is something made up. Well let me tell you something. I have suffered from anxiety for north of 20 years, officially diagnosed with GAD (General Anxiety Disorder”). Call it what you wish, it is hell on earth. Don’t go blabbering here that the “billion dollar mental health industry” is brainwashing people. You haven’t the foggiest idea what it means to grapple with these disorders. I’ve been to doctors, I’ve been to therapists. I’ve been to my Rebbeim to Gedolim. They’re all sold to “the industry”?! My anxiety is made up? It’s in my head?

    And I’d like to say another thing – mental health in the frum community is off the charts. Ask any doctor who’s patient body is primarily from. My internist told me a few weeks ago that although his specialty is really family medicine, in reality over 40% of his work is mental health. Yes 40%. This is in a large frum community. He told me that he worked for many years in non Jewish practices and he never saw anything close to what he sees in the frum community. He explained it by saying we’re very serious people, big thinkers, life is not a joke by us. So it affects us more. A previous doctor (also internist) said similar statements but didn’t give me any numbers, he just said it’s very very prevalent.

    And as an FYI; if there is one category of people who can make or break mental health disorders, I think it would be parents. Build your children, don’t break them. IMHO; parents are the key to creating or breaking many disorders before they ever develop. There certainly are disorders that have nothing to do with parents but I think parents play a huge role in many of them.

55. I am at loss to understand why our community no longer has hotlines where people can call in anonymously if they are in need of immediate and free mental health help. These hotlines are no less important than Hatzoloh. The Yitty Leibel Helpline, now defunct but a continued legacy, was manned for many years by volunteer highly competent therapists, many of who I knew, who fielded calls from anonymous callers who were going through mental health crisis including suicide. The Eitzah hotline was probably the single most powerful Chinuch influence in the charedi circles as it recruited volunteer mechanchim and mechanchos from many of the biggest mainstream yeshivos who respond to parents who wished to remain anonymous Andy were experiencing parenting issues and crises. . For those who could afford therapy and are willing to identify themselves, RELIEF OR REFUAH HELPLINE made the process of getting help easier by giving referrals to therapists and working within our community, easing and normalizing the process.

56. When the Rabbanim get proper education on mental health issues, we will see more endorsements for these charity causes and community services. The problem is that uneducated people don’t understand that when a person suffers a mental breakdown, they don’t have bechira. Nowadays the Halachos of Kevurah and Shiva for someone who committed suicide r”l is different than in previous generations because there is an awareness that it wasn’t done by free will. Anyone who practices in the mental health field or who has any authority in this area has to know and understand this basic principle. There was a city where they asked the Rav for a Haskamah to start an organization to provide meals for families where one of the parents suffer from mental health. He responded that he doesn’t want them to rely on it as a crutch and that they should push themselves to get better. Lack of basic understanding can cause lots of damage.

57. YWN is a news outlet I pop into frequently. You influence the focus. I didn’t know about most of the incidents you referenced. You play a large role in what people know about current events within the community. Maybe take some responsibility…

58. It would be very helpful if YWN would publish the names of the Rabbonim that approved of this article. The readership needs this information in order to evaluate the appropriateness and accuracy of the article.

59. ‘Medication’ killed the children

60. LOL! IS THIS SATIRE? Anyone who follows the watsapp “scoop” accounts (Flatbush scoop, Lakewood scoop, etc.) knows that Yeshiva World will not hesitate to report anything and everything that gets them clicks. Suddenly they are the voice of restraint.

    Unreal.

61. To Uncle MO and others who claimed I said “mental illness is made up; I never said that mental illness is not real. Psychotic diseases are real! It is apparent when a person has mental illness, they can mutter to themselves, they can shuffle, not due to physical impairement but due to mental impairment, etc,. There are physical manifestations to mental disease. The vast majority of those under the care of “mental health professionals ” and those taking psychotic meds do NOT have mental illnesses! Whoever turns away from the Eibishter by not turning to Him in times of distress, by not thanking Him constantly for the numerous gifts He has given them, by turning to goyishe inspired “mental health” sources to fill them up, they will be empty vessels which is a recipe for depression! People who are depressed have a spiritual disease! The more we send our kids to mental health experts the more suicide cases we will have! Parents are neglecting to instill in their children yiras shomayim, so many are adults are empty of yiras shomayim themselves, parents are neglecting to talk of Hashem, that he runs the world and he loves us! Yidden should be reading Mesilas Yeshurim and seforim that fill up their neshama, that give REAL sipuk to a Yid, not be busy with garbage talk of “mental health crisis”. There’s a yiras shomayim and ahavas Hashem crisis and running after materilism and immersion in the goyishe culture through technology crisis and a lack of appreciation for the gifts Hashem has given us and THAT leads to depression and anxiety and a host of other issues that are spiritual emptiness.

    People can also struggle with absentmindedness which when not being worked on can lead to OCD, processed foods and sugar laden diets can lead to hyperactivity in children and the ridiculous pressure that kids have today like never before from the schools that force excessive memorization and testing that is extremely hard for the majority of kids who don’t have any special talent of memorization . The school principals and curriculum advisors think they are “so professional” trying to cram kids’ brains with “education” meanwhile these details that are irrelevent in their lives are forgotten the minute the test was taken. And they don’t realize how they torture the children with nonsense, create physical problems by having the kids sit so long with no movement, and mentally strain them. This type of “teaching” can cause major issues for many children and then they are forced to “go to therapy”….that is NOT education.

62. As a parent of a child that has been treated and is still being treated for anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts (to name a few), I think I can speak a little bit on this subject.

    I agree that most of our community ignores mental issues. We need to understand and explain that it is a disease. In that sense it isn’t different than any other disease. The big difference is that unless you know, you don’t know. Therapy should be encouraged and not looked down upon. Medication should be given where required (you wouldn’t withhold insulin from a diabetic). And we shouldn’t feel ashamed of the situation (are you ashamed when someone in your family has the flu?)

    And while there are good support groups for many other diseases and causes, there is little help here. I have reached out as much as I could (my rav, Amudim, Jewish Board to name a few). A reference here or a suggestion there but I have yet to get the feeling that we accept the fact that this is a pandemic as bad as COVID.

    The battle is a never ending one and until we as a community acknowledge that it exists, I am afraid we will hear of more tragedies C”V.

63. yiddeshekup101,

    As I wrote above, I am a middle age adult b’h leading a decent life, married with children but I have struggled with anxiety for north of 20 years. As such, I am quite familiar with the subject. Feel free to reach out to YWN, they can probably connect us. There are certainly Rabbonim well versed in mental health issues. Some more than others but there are certainly some that are very deeply involved and educated with the subject. I’d be happy to try to refer you to the right people. I wish your child a complete refuah shleima. It’s extremely tough dealing with this.

64. It’s very simple someone with severe mental disorder Needs to be medicated to lead a someone normal life. They may even need to be in a hospital or facility. So why blame the community what does the community have to do. The family needs to enforce that the person takes their meds. Just like with any other illness.

65. I think there is genuine concern, but what I see is that there is denial as to the severity of it – if people in this mother’s circle claimed she was suffering from severe psychosis for years, pre-dating her marriage and motherhood, they obviously minimized the danger she had to herself and others – just realizing someone is psychotic or suicidal doesn’t necessarily cause their family or even therapists to have a clear view of what that entails. This society in general puts a tremendous amount of emphasis of self-sufficiency, and everyone, not just the frum community, is overly eager to use psychiatric medications and therapy as a means to get someone to function on their own – when in fact they actually require supervision, sometimes at all times, to prevent them from doing harm. I am convinced, due to my own exposure to people with mental illness that some sort of supervision, often for life, and a complete prevention of putting them in contact with vulnerable people, particularly children, is necessary. I’m not quite sure how people with severe mental illness get approved for marriage and parenting, but that needs to be seriously addressed – I don’t agree that it’s something we don’t want to deal with and the frum community just wants to sensationalize – there is an inability to know what to do and an over-reliance on an individual’s strength for a recovery that they might not ever have – there shouldn’t be blame, just education as to the importance of protecting them and others and an understanding that this person is very ill and needs more than what is medically available, regardless of appearances